The rules of conduct for guests at an anniversary are comic. Rules of behavior at the table. Etiquette standards, weddings, flowers, gifts. Competition called “Guests and gifts for them”

In anticipation of the corporate evening, employees are rubbing their hands: finally they can relax at work! It is not known for certain how many people then went in search of new job. But companies have long lived stories about corporate events. If you are underpaid and your boss is an idiot, then break the rules of behavior at a corporate party and in the near future you will be able to leave this worthless job.

So, you don’t need to think about, remember: what rules of behavior at a corporate party need to be violated in order to speed up the dismissal process.

Seat at the table

HR managers believe that one of the common mistakes employees make is choosing a seat at the table. It happens that someone was late at work and was late for the start of a corporate evening. I looked around the room: all the seats next to colleagues in the department or smoking room were occupied, and suddenly: oh, a miracle! There are free seats at the VIP table. And if one of the leaders smiled friendly, then without a shadow of a doubt you can accept this as an invitation to the table.

It’s okay that you’ll sit there all evening as if “out of your element,” but you can be sure: your manager will remember you well.

Table manners

The most common mistake, according to those same boring HR managers, is the desire to relax, which is accompanied by alcohol abuse. Mascara under the eyes, smeared lipstick, barefoot dancing (the first stage of undressing), unbridled fun, casual sex, tears, scandals, fights... One could continue the list of “miracles” and include real examples, but this article is not for lovers of juicy details. It is for those who are looking for a reason to quit with a scandal and not regret what happened at the corporate party. Therefore, feel free to break the rules of conduct at a corporate party and don’t be painfully ashamed:

Do you agree that it’s not so difficult to break the rules of behavior at a corporate party and do it for your own pleasure?!

Well, if you still want to work in your company, don’t relax ahead of time and understand that a corporate party is a continuation of work only in an informal setting. A corporate evening is aimed at establishing friendly, constructive relationships between colleagues by creating favorable conditions: food, drinks, entertainment.

At first, it may seem that all participants in the corporate party are equal to each other. Bosses and subordinates, young specialists and mentors. But this is only an appearance. Don't be fooled if your organization's leaders demonstrate a democratic attitude towards their subordinates. It is democratic as long as the subordinate follows the rules of conduct at a corporate event and keeps the required distance, that is, he respects the chain of command. In addition, know that there will always be “well-wishers” who will be happy to notice your mistake.

Follow the golden rule in everything: It’s better not “before” than “before”!

Comic rules of behavior at a corporate event

Don’t put your elbows on the table, chew with your mouth closed and keep quiet about illnesses - these rules of behavior at the table have been embedded in our heads since childhood and it’s unlikely that anyone will decide to break them if they want to create an impression of themselves as a cultured person. Well, in some cases you will need to master the skill of operating a fork paired with a knife. That's it, the culinary set of good manners is complete and you can safely go on a visit to a dinner party. But it turns out that not everything is so simple. There are many more rules of behavior at the table, and literally at every second point you want to exclaim: yes, okay?!

We, at the menu.by delivery service, looked at the reference books with the rules of behavior at the table in our spare time and laughed heartily, imagining what it would be like if people really followed them. A sort of world of soulless robots that behave strictly according to instructions. But it’s cultural! We'll tell you about the rules that especially amused us.

Warning: Taking the following text seriously is dangerous for your good mood.

1. While eating, do not sip, do not blow on liquid, do not knock on the plate with a spoon, and generally eat silently. Whether it is possible to breathe is not specified.

2. Do not cut the meat right away, otherwise the plate will look sloppy. They cut off a piece and ate it, cut off a piece and ate it. What's the point of convenience when all that matters is the beauty on the plate?

3. Cut the meat from the chicken leg with a knife. And when it becomes difficult to cut, so be it, take the bone with your hands and gnaw it. But until this moment, no, no.

4. Don't eat with a spoon what you can eat with a fork. IN reverse side the rule doesn't work.

5. Took the fork in left hand, and the knife to the right? Please now finish the dish to the end. And no changing the knife and fork in the process. It's not pretty!

6. Don’t choose food from shared plates, but take what’s on the edge. Otherwise they will think that you are picky and picky. The best piece is always for the neighbor. But self-love is not part of this topic.

7. Keep the cutlery level with your mouth. A step to the right, a step to the left - a stain on the tablecloth and an angry look from the hostess of the banquet. Do you need it?

8. If after a meal you accidentally put the blade of a knife into the teeth of a fork, don’t be surprised that they spat in your coffee. In the language of cutlery gestures, this means that you did not like the dish. In general, eating with a spoon is somehow safer. It may not be cultural, but there are much fewer reasons to accidentally quarrel with the cook. And if you can’t live without a knife and fork, then when finished, simply place them on a plate parallel to each other.

9. Have you taken a bite of food and suddenly want to start a conversation? Fix the thought in your head, finish what you started, and only then move on to the conversation. Having bitten food on a plate is ugly, uncivilized and generally fu-fu-fu.

10. Twist the spaghetti onto a fork strictly twice. If they are still hanging down, trim the tail with a knife. But no third curl! What if someone thinks, but you won’t be able to laugh it off by saying that you are a humanitarian.

11. Don't interrupt the speaker. Remember: you are at the table, and he now has a knife and fork in his hands. Let the person speak out, and you will return home without cuts and puncture wounds.

12. Don’t add more food than you can eat. At the end of the meal, the plate should be empty. Before going on an all-inclusive holiday, re-read this paragraph three times a day.

13. Everyone drinks during the toast! Even those who don't drink. Imitate by raising the glass to your lips. It's as simple as imitating a successful life on Instagram. In short, you won't need acting classes.

14. You shouldn’t clean your plate with bread. Yes, yes, we know how delicious it is to dip the crumb into the leftover sauce, but, alas, it is indecent. And the owners will have no reason to show off their new dishwasher.

15. You shouldn’t bite bread either. Break off a piece from a piece and put it in your mouth. And then like a barbarian, honestly.

16. But eat up all the crusts of bread. People worked hard, grew grain, ground flour, baked - they put so much effort into it. And you disdain humpbacks. Don't do that. And in general, eat better without bread. There are so many problems with him that you will make mistakes in no time.

17. Don’t reach across the table for the plate you want; ask someone to help. And remember: dishes are passed only from left to right and the direction does not change. Yes, yes, if the plate with the desired food is on the right, and you cannot reach it, it will have to go through a victory lap through all the guests before you get the desired delicacy. Did you think happiness is so close?

18. If you drop cutlery on the floor, continue to pretend that nothing happened. Do not bend over under any circumstances - this is the hostess’s task. Just ask for a new device. In this situation, you will find yourself a clumsy guest, but a cultured one.

Whether to follow these rules or not, everyone decides for themselves. But what will definitely be uncivilized is pointing out to others their mistakes and teaching guests good manners. After all, you must admit, the world will not collapse if you put down the knife for a second and take the fork in your right hand. And certainly your friends will not stop communicating with you if you clean the remaining gravy from the plate with bread and, smacking your lips, thank the hostess for delicious dinner. With words, not with a mysterious pyramid of cutlery.

Order your favorite restaurant dishes to your home from the menu.by delivery service and remain yourself. We are sure that your loved ones love you not for your good manners, but for the funny way you lick your fingers after pizza. Let someone say that this is uncivilized.

No matter what foreigners imagine, a spoon in a glass doesn’t bother me at all...

***

The boy asks:
- Dad, what is ethics?
- I'll give you an example. You know that I, together with Rabinovich, have a shop. And so Rabinovich leaves for the city to buy goods, and I am left alone in the shop. A lady comes in, asks for some small change, takes out a purse, takes out a hundred rubles, then small money, pays, takes everything, but forgets the hundred rubles on the counter and leaves. And here the question of ethics begins: should I share with Rabinovich?

***

What is etiquette?
- This is when you say: “Thank you, no need,” when you want to shout: “Give it here!”

***

It's better to pretend than to do nothing.

***

Vasya! Doesn't it bother you that you're left-handed?
- No. Every person has their own shortcomings. For example, with what hand do you stir the tea?
- Right.
- You see! A normal people stir with a spoon!

***

About the rules of behavior.
If you are sitting at a table as a guest, you should not cut out words like “SGPTU-30”, “DMB-94” or “Tolyan from Alapaevsk” on the tabletop. It’s best to cut out the words “Thank you!”, “High!”, “We’re stuck!” The owner will be very pleased.

Before you enter, think: are you needed here?

***

Thank you, aunt,” the little boy thanks the guest.
“You’re welcome, my dear,” she smiles.
- I think so too, but my mother insists...

***

Let me...

***

Grandma, would you like to sit in my place?
- Thank you, grandson, why not sit down!
“Then don’t leave: I’ll get out in three stops.”

***

Recipe “Beef in English”: “If you are visiting, take a large piece of beef and leave without saying goodbye...”

***

Dining etiquette was probably invented by people who did not know the feeling of hunger.

***

Remember girls! According to etiquette, the fork should be to the left of the plate, and not in the soft tissues of the boy who offended you!

***

Etiquette is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed.

***

Let me...
- Let me not let you!
- I won’t let you not let me!!!

***

If a person does not know how to behave, can he then drive a car?

***

From the rules of good manners.

It is indecent to keep your hands in your trouser pockets in front of strangers... Especially if you are a woman and the trousers are men's...

***

Etiquette was invented by people who did not know hunger.

***

Rules of cat etiquette:

If you feel nauseous, quickly climb into a chair. If you don't make it on time, then go to the Persian carpet. Then bury it well!

Quickly determine which guests hate cats. Sit on his lap all evening. He won't dare drive you away and will even call you a "sweet pussy." If you can make yourself smell like cat food, so much the better.

Always escort guests to the restroom. You don't have to do anything. Just sit and stare at the guest.

If one of the hosts is busy and the other is not, sit with the one who is busy. If the owner is reading a book and cannot lie across the book itself, then get under his chin.

If your hostess is knitting, quietly curl up in her lap and pretend to be asleep. Then extend your paw and sharply hit the spokes. She calls this a “loose loop.” She will try to distract you. Don't pay any attention to it.

If the owner is busy doing homework, sit down on his papers. After you are removed from them for the second time, brush off everything that can be brushed off the table: pens, pencils, stamps - not all at once, but one at a time.

Get plenty of sleep during the day so you'll be in shape for night games between 2am and 4am.

***

About the rules of behavior.
Phrases like: “Now I’ll show you our family album!” or “Look how our son is studying!” - significantly save food and drink.

***

When a man kisses a lady's hand, according to the rules of etiquette, he must bow to her hand. Modern “gentlemen” pull the lady’s hand to their mouth, they are afraid to bend over and show their bald head.

***

Etiquette is when you think: “May you die!”, but say: “Hello.”

***

If you think you've reached the heights of etiquette, try eating a glass of sunflower seeds with a knife and fork.

***

Yes. Thank you, and you too. Thank you, and the same to you. Thank you, and you too.

***

What's stopping you from being yourself?
- Rules of etiquette and the criminal code...

***

When you quit, behave as if you were a cultured person.

***

THE THINNEST BOOKS.

- "List of George W. Bush's virtues."
- "Osama bin Laden's phone book."
- "Mike Tyson's Rules of Etiquette."
- "French hospitality."
- "Etiquette for the departure of English guests from guests."
- "Jokes about blondes, told by them."
- "Everything women know about men."
- “Everything men know about women.”
- "How to spell the name Bob correctly."
- “Words that have never been used to call Bill Gates.”
- "Honest lawyers."
- "Prosecutors who have never been to a bathhouse."
- “What I wouldn’t say for money” by Sergei Dorenko.
- "Headdresses of Yuri Luzhkov."
- "Human rights in China."
- “Places where terrorists should be killed” by V.V. Putin.
- "Arab flying schools."
- "Things that a Russian could not name as one of the three main
swear words."

***

Morality without conscience is just etiquette.

***

From etiquette - only the label!
There was no etiquette here...
There is no cure for rudeness,
There is only one remedy - turn off the Internet

***

Before you point your finger at the shortcomings of others, pay attention to how much dirt you have under your nails.

***

By strictly observing the rules of etiquette when visiting, you will leave angry, sober and hungry.

***

According to etiquette, in which hand should you hold a knife in order to force the waiter to bring your order faster?

***

Etiquette

Friends! Everyone should respect culture!
You can't throw cigarette butts through the window!
Suddenly you will find yourself among kind, sweet citizens,
What are they peeing under your windows?!

***

There are two peaceful forms of violence: law and decency.

***

After all, people are paradoxical creatures. If you shout loudly “A-a-a-a!” in the library, people will just look at you in confusion. And if you do the same on the plane, they will join.

***

-Who is this gentleman?
- This is the one who, in a dark room, steps on a cat and calls it a cat.

Rules of conduct on minibuses

Rule one

Do you know how grandmothers are offended when they give up their seat? They begin to feel weak and helpless. Sit by the window, close your eyes, it’s harder to give up your seat, support the elderly!

Rule two

You need to sit with your legs as far apart as possible, this improves blood circulation, promotes ventilation and emphasizes the piquant lines of your body. And remember, men, the wider your legs, the more courageous you are!

Rule three

If they call you, be sure to pick up the phone. You need to speak as loudly as possible, because either the interlocutor cannot hear you well over the noise of the minibus, or those sitting next to you may not understand what you are talking about, and they will be embarrassed to ask again, they may burn out of curiosity, you need to respect people.
ADDENDUM: If you know at least some obscene vocabulary, use it, broaden the horizons of those around you.

Rule four

If you see an acquaintance at the other end of the minibus, quickly draw attention to yourself (by shouting, whistling, dancing), God forbid the person thinks that you are uncultured or have a bad attitude towards him! You also need to inquire about his affairs, ask why he didn’t call so much (shout louder so that the interlocutor can hear you, and you won’t let others get bored, they’ll listen to an interesting story)

Rule five

Don't be greedy, let others listen to your wonderful music, not everyone has the money for a player! Move your headphones away from your ears to let others enjoy your amazing taste in music.

Rule six

Throw candy wrappers, seed husks, empty cigarette packs on the floor! Don't deprive the cleaning lady of her job!

Rule seven

Are you an athlete? Don’t change clothes after training, get on the minibus like that, motivate people, let everyone see how hard you work out! And yes, don’t use deodorant, it leaves stains on your clothes. (If you have overweight, especially show that you are still fighting with him)

Now that you are familiar with the basic rules, I wish you pleasant travel companions!

***

Yes... In my time, girls knew how to blush, says the father of his daughter.
- I imagine what you told them...

***

Men! Be gentlemen! Never interrupt a woman when she is... silent.

***

One of the oldest rules of etiquette comes from swearing. The English King George V once slammed his fist on the dinner table in anger, after which he burst into violent abuse. When he calmed down, he issued a decree according to which forks should lie on the table with the tines down.

***

Honey, happy birthday. I give you a subscription to etiquette courses.
- Ah * amazing!

***

Sorry for what I say when you interrupt...

***

A man sitting on a tram in the presence of women becomes an empty place in their eyes.

***

Everything here is like a parade. A napkin here, a tie here. Yes, “sorry”, yes, “please-mercy.” But so that for real - this is not the case. You are torturing yourself, just like during the tsarist regime.
Polygraph Polygraphych Sharikov

***

Should a gentleman:

wish a lady good night if the lady doesn’t say good night?

ask a lady for her hand if his legs won’t support him?

When leaving a restaurant, should you wear gloves if you leave on all fours?

kiss a lady's hands if there is no napkin at the table?

Raise a glass to a lady if the lady can no longer raise a glass herself?

take a lady's coat off if he likes the coat?

help a lady get off the bus if the lady wants to get on?

Should a gentleman shower a lady with flowers if the flowers are in pots?

Should a lady ask a gentleman to get up from his knees if she is tired of holding him?

Should a gentleman date a lady under a clock if the clock hangs above his sofa?

In which hand should a gentleman hold a fork? right hand gentleman holding a cutlet?

Should a gentleman pay for a lady on the bus if she paid for him in a restaurant?

Should a gentleman, if he should?

Should a gentleman give his wife tights if she found them in his pocket?

Should a gentleman give way to a lady if he is in bed with another gentleman?

Should a gentleman shout, “Bitter! ”, if he is not sitting at a wedding, but in a public dining room?

A true gentleman will always let a lady pass first to see what she looks like from behind.

***

Girls, help! The director of our base invited me to a corporate event. Who can tell me whether it’s etiquette to eat stew from a can with a fork or spoon?

***

Don't pick your nose: there won't be any children!
- Yes, I’m shallow...

***

One British lady said that when uninvited guests she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If the person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”

***

Let's go from you to you.
Otherwise I’ll hit YOU in the face -
It's against etiquette.

***

According to the rules of etiquette, the knife must be held in the right hand, the fork in the left, and the husband in both.

***

For a long time as a child, I was taught to eat with the right cutlery... But for some reason they didn’t warn me that it was possible
there will be something and nothing...

Etiquette lesson in elementary school:
The man must walk up the steps in front of the lady. Who knows why?
Vovochka holds out her hand:
- This is because the woman does not know what apartment he lives in.

Three gentlemen are fishing on the shore of the lake in complete silence.
The first one suddenly spoke quietly but confidently:
- Gentlemen, it seems there are a lot of fish in the lake...
Pause. The second one spoke:
- Not sure. In my opinion, there is no one here at all...
Another long silence. After 15 minutes the third gentleman sighs and says:
- Gentlemen! Let's stop this unnecessary endless debate...

There was no free seat for one portly lady on the crowded train, so she went into the smoking car. She took an empty seat, none of the surrounding men paid attention to her - everyone was smoking or reading, blowing puffs of smoke.
Looking at her neighbor, who had his head buried in a newspaper, the lady said:
- How stupid I was, hoping that there would be at least one gentleman here...
The man put down the newspaper:
“Sorry, madam,” he muttered, “would you like a cigar?”

What is the difference between a gentleman and an ordinary man?
A true gentleman will always call a cat a cat, even if he stumbles over it.

As a result of a shipwreck, 2 Englishmen ended up on a desert island. They didn't know each other on the ship. And after a year of living on the island, they still didn’t know each other only because there was no one to introduce them.

Abdul, what are you doing! Why do you, a warrior of Allah, have your wife in front, and you behind? According to the Koran, she is supposed to walk behind you!
- Well, yes! When the Koran was written, there were no anti-tank mines on the roads. Don't listen to him, Fatima! Go ahead.

A true gentleman will definitely let the lady go ahead to see how her figure looks from behind.

Away for festive table.
- How old do I look? - one flirtatious lady asks her neighbor.
- Lip color - seventeen. The arch of the eyebrows is fifteen. Complexion - twenty. In total - fifty-two.

The director enters the workshop.
- You were told not to smoke while working!
The worker spits on the floor:
- Is someone working?

Good manners can be perfectly replaced by quick reactions.

Behavior in polite society:
You can't say hello with sweaty hands. First, you need to politely pat your friend on the shoulders.
It is rude to blow your nose into your tie. It is better to discreetly use a window curtain.

On the bus elderly woman sympathizes with the exhausted young man:
-Sit down, poor fellow. You're so thin, you're probably sick?
- No, I'm just a student. Thank you.
- Let me hold your cloak.
- And this is not a cloak, this is Kolya, my friend!

In modern society, it is very important to know the rules of behavior at the table, because many business issues are resolved here, or sometimes you just want to throw a feast for the whole world, inviting relatives and friends. Therefore, it is simply impossible to ignore table etiquette today.

By the way, the word etiquette itself originated several centuries ago in France. Then, under one of the kings, his nobles and guests were given so-called labels, which contained a set of rules for behavior at the table.

Of course, different countries have their own nuances, but, in general, there are general rules table manners that every cultured person should know.

General table manners

The first thing you need to know is where to sit. If this is a family celebration, everyone has their own permanent place here. If this is a business banquet, you need to remember that the places of honor are considered to be the places to the right and left of the hostess and the owner of the house, who, by the way, should sit opposite each other. When everyone has learned their place, everyone stands and waits until the hostess sits down.

If you eat in a cafe, restaurant, or other public place, then best places men are obliged to give in to women. All dishes must naturally be clean. You need to take plates, dishes, and all utensils from below, while supporting the edge with your thumb. Under no circumstances should you touch food with your fingers!

How to serve food?

Any dish must be brought close to the plate so that nothing drips onto the tablecloth.

At a separate serving table, soup is poured, and only into deep plates.

Fish, roasts, vegetables, snacks, as well as sweet biscuits and candies should be served from the left.

As for coffee and tea, these drinks should be poured from the right. The guest has the opportunity to add the required amount of sugar and cream to his own taste.

After guests have eaten, according to etiquette, dishes that have already been used are removed to the right of the person sitting with their right hand.

Table etiquette

Table manners apply not only to the hostess and host who are organizing the event, but also to the guests.

Only after the dishes have already begun to be served can the guest remove the napkin from the plate and put it on his lap without tucking it into his collar.

You need to sit at the table on the entire seat, leaning slightly forward.

When talking with a neighbor, you don’t need to turn your whole body, just turn your head.

Don't stretch your legs under the table. The elbows are also not kept on the table; they are pressed against the body.

If during a meal you come across a bone, a pebble, or cartilage, place it on a spoon or fork with your lips, and then place it on the edge of the plate.

After you have eaten, wipe your mouth and, if necessary, your hands with a napkin. After which it should be placed to the left of your plate.

After finishing the meal, place the knife and fork with their bulge down, parallel to each other, on the plate. At the same time, their hands should “look” to the right.

Rules of behavior at the festive table

The rules of behavior at the festive table are no different from the general rules, except that here the hostess can show her imagination - decorate the table in an original way. Lay out a snow-white or any other interesting tablecloth, decorate the table with napkin figures, and somehow decorate the house itself in a non-trivial way.

There are some sets of rules of behavior at the table that arose in previous centuries, reading which now it is impossible not to laugh. The comic rules of behavior at the table, in fact, have underlying reasons - hygiene, expediency and much more. It’s just that today we are so accustomed to modern etiquette that past attempts to enshrine all this in laws seem funny to us.

Humor about etiquette. Cool rules etiquette.

No matter what foreigners imagine, a spoon in a glass doesn’t bother me at all...

What is etiquette?
- This is when you say: “Thank you, no need,” when you want to shout: “Give it here!”

It's better to pretend than to do nothing.

- Vasya! Doesn't it bother you that you're left-handed?
- No. Every person has their own shortcomings. For example, with what hand do you stir the tea?
- Right.
- You see! But normal people stir with a spoon!

Before you enter, think: are you needed here?

Thank you, aunt,” the little boy thanks the guest.
“You’re welcome, my dear,” she smiles.
“I think so too, but mom insists.”

Allow me.
- Let me not let you!
- I won’t let you not let me.

Grandma, would you like to sit in my place?
- Thank you, grandson, why not sit down!
“Then don’t leave: I’ll get off in three stops.”

Recipe “Beef in English”: “If you are visiting, take a large piece of beef and leave without saying goodbye...”

Dining etiquette was probably invented by people who did not know the feeling of hunger.

Remember girls! According to etiquette, the fork should be to the left of the plate, and not in the soft tissues of the boy who offended you!

Etiquette is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed.

If a person does not know how to behave, can he then drive a car?

From the rules of good manners.

It is indecent to keep your hands in your trouser pockets in front of strangers... Especially if you are a woman and the trousers are men's...

Etiquette was invented by people who did not know hunger.

Rules of cat etiquette:

- If you feel sick, quickly climb into a chair. If you don’t make it on time, then go to the Persian carpet. Then bury it well!

— Quickly determine which of the guests hates cats. Sit on his lap all evening. He will not dare to drive you away and will even call you a “sweet pussy.” If you can make yourself smell like cat food, so much the better.

— Always escort guests to the restroom. You don't have to do anything. Just sit and stare at the guest.

- If one of the owners is busy and the other is not, sit with the one who is busy. If the owner is reading a book and cannot lie across the book itself, then get under his chin.

- If the hostess is knitting, quietly curl up in her lap and pretend to be asleep. Then extend your paw and sharply hit the spokes. She calls this a “loose loop.” She will try to distract you. Don't pay any attention to it.

— If the owner is busy doing homework, sit down on his papers. After you are removed from them for the second time, brush off everything that can be brushed off the table: pens, pencils, stamps - not all at once, but one at a time.

- Get plenty of sleep during the day so that you are in shape for night games between 2 and 4 am.

About the rules of behavior.
Phrases like: “Now I’ll show you our family album!” or “Look how our son is studying!” — significantly save food and drink.

Etiquette is when you think: “Damn you!”, but say: “Hello.”

If you think you've reached the heights of etiquette, try eating a glass of sunflower seeds with a knife and fork.

Yes. Thank you, and you too. Thank you, and the same to you. Thank you, and you too.

- What prevents you from being yourself?
— Rules of etiquette and the criminal code.

When you quit, behave as if you were a cultured person.

THE THINNEST BOOKS.

— "List of George W. Bush's virtues."
- "Osama bin Laden's phone book."
- Mike Tyson's Rules of Etiquette.
— “French hospitality.”
— “Etiquette for Englishmen leaving guests.”
— “Jokes about blondes, told by them.”
- “Everything women know about men.”
- “Everything men know about women.”
- “How to spell the name Bob correctly.”
- “Words that have never been used to call Bill Gates.”
- “Honest Lawyers.”
- “Prosecutors who have never been to a bathhouse.”
— “What I wouldn’t say for money” by Sergei Dorenko.
— “Headdresses of Yuri Luzhkov.”
— “Human rights in China.”
— “Places where terrorists should be killed” by V.V. Putin.
- "Arab flying schools."
- “Things that a Russian could not name one of the three main
swear words."

Morality without conscience is just etiquette.

From etiquette - only the label!
There was no etiquette here...
There is no cure for rudeness,
There is only one remedy - turn off the Internet

Before you point your finger at the shortcomings of others, pay attention to how much dirt you have under your nails.

By strictly observing the rules of etiquette when visiting, you will leave angry, sober and hungry.

According to etiquette, in which hand should you hold a knife in order to force the waiter to bring your order faster?

Friends! Everyone should respect culture!
You can't throw cigarette butts through the window!
Suddenly you will find yourself among kind, sweet citizens,
What are they peeing under your windows?!

There are two peaceful forms of violence: law and decency.

After all, people are paradoxical creatures. If you shout loudly “A-a-a-a!” in the library, people will just look at you in confusion. And if you do the same on the plane, they will join.

Who is a gentleman?
- This is the one who, in a dark room, steps on a cat and calls it a cat.

Rules of conduct on minibuses

Don't be greedy, let others listen to your wonderful music, not everyone has the money for a player! Move your headphones away from your ears to let others enjoy your amazing taste in music.

Throw candy wrappers, seed husks, empty cigarette packs on the floor! Don't deprive the cleaning lady of her job!

Are you an athlete? Don’t change clothes after training, get on the minibus like that, motivate people, let everyone see how hard you work out! And yes, don’t use deodorant, it leaves stains on your clothes. (If you are overweight, even more so show that you are still struggling with it)

Now that you are familiar with the basic rules, I wish you pleasant travel companions!

Yes... In my time, girls knew how to blush, says the father of his daughter.
- I imagine what you told them...

Men! Be gentlemen! Never interrupt a woman when she is... silent.

- Honey, happy birthday. I give you a subscription to etiquette courses.
- Ah * amazing!

Sorry for what I say when you interrupt...

A man sitting on a tram in the presence of women becomes an empty place in their eyes.

Should a gentleman:

wish a lady good night if the lady doesn’t say good night?

ask a lady for her hand if his legs won’t support him?

When leaving a restaurant, should you wear gloves if you leave on all fours?

kiss a lady's hands if there is no napkin at the table?

Raise a glass to a lady if the lady can no longer raise a glass herself?

take a lady's coat off if he likes the coat?

help a lady get off the bus if the lady wants to get on?

Should a gentleman shower a lady with flowers if the flowers are in pots?

Should a lady ask a gentleman to get up from his knees if she is tired of holding him?

Should a gentleman date a lady under a clock if the clock hangs above his sofa?

In which hand should a gentleman hold a fork if the gentleman is holding a cutlet in his right hand?

Should a gentleman pay for a lady on the bus if she paid for him in a restaurant?

Should a gentleman, if he should?

Should a gentleman give his wife tights if she found them in his pocket?

Should a gentleman give way to a lady if he is in bed with another gentleman?

Should a gentleman shout, “Bitter! ”, if he is not sitting at a wedding, but in a public dining room?

A true gentleman will always let a lady pass first to see what she looks like from behind.

- Girls, help! The director of our base invited me to a corporate event. Who can tell me whether it’s etiquette to eat stew from a can with a fork or spoon?

Don't pick your nose: there won't be any children!
- Yes, I’m shallow.

One British lady said that when uninvited guests appear, she always puts on shoes, a hat and takes an umbrella. If the person is pleasant to her, she will exclaim: “Oh, how lucky, I just came!” If it’s unpleasant: “Oh, what a pity, I have to leave.”

Let's go from you to you.
Otherwise I’ll hit YOU in the face -
It's against etiquette.

According to the rules of etiquette, the knife must be held in the right hand, the fork in the left, and the husband in both.

For a long time as a child, I was taught to eat with the right cutlery... But for some reason they didn’t warn me that it was possible
there will be something and nothing...

Comic rules of behavior at an anniversary. Rules for guests

Have you often encountered the fact that when guests come to your party, they behave timidly at first, but then begin to “unwind”? This usually happens after drinking several glasses of vodka. But why wait so long, and even harm your health? After all, you can immediately cheer up your guests and “charge” them with a holiday. And humorous rules of behavior for guests at your anniversary will help you with this. We came up with humorous rules in verse that can be divided into several categories: rules of behavior at the table, on the dance floor and general rules. So read them out to your guests and let them know that you don’t mind them getting a little naughty.

Dear guests!
You came to visit me!
But don't be afraid of me,
Everything is simple for me, as always.
You just follow the rules
And don't get any comments.
Where are the rules? Here they are
And you better write them down!
First of all, my food is delicious,
Therefore, you need to eat everything to the end!
Secondly, the drinks aren’t bad either,
So drink them up, my dears!
Well, the third rule, the main thing,
So that everyone has a good time at the holiday,
No need to sit and be bored
You need to sing, dance and play!
Become more active
And have a great time!

I want to tell you, my friends,
It’s not in vain that you came to me!
I have great drinks and delicious food,
So help yourself, my friends!
In the meantime, I'll tell you the rules,
And maybe I will surprise some people with this.
And the rules are simple, remember them,
So that there are no hard feelings afterwards.
If you pick up a sandwich,
Then we immediately put it in our mouth!
If you put salad on your plate,
Needless to say, it was postponed until later!
You've poured a glass - drink it to the bottom!
Even if it's a glass of wine!
In general, you probably understood
That my rules are simple!
You just have to drink, eat and have fun,
And enjoy the holiday to the fullest!

I am the mistress of the house, you are my guests.
Thank you very much for coming to see me!
But so that we don't get bored,
This is what I will tell you all.
Don't sit at the table for a long time,
We ate a little and hit the dance floor - dance!
Tired of dancing? Let's Play!
And receive gifts for winning the game.
In general, do you understand me?
So that we don't get bored, friends,
Let's have fun together
And as young people say – “let’s hang out”!

xn——7kccduufesz6cwj.xn--p1ai

Sketch of congratulations on the holiday “Guest Code”

Characters:

Leading:
When there is no agreement among comrades,
They will not make a friendly company:
They will come and drink indifferently
And they silently eat lunch!
In such company there is no music, no songs,
No one is interested in each other in her,
The crystal ringing does not ring under the wise guests.
And this is called a holiday?!

But this, friends, will never affect us! With our quiet, small company, We gathered again to rest our souls! The host invites the guests to help him announce the “Guest Code” - the rules of behavior at the holiday. Those interested are selected, and the presenter distributes the text of the “Guest Code” to them. Everyone reads one rule, the guests unanimously answer in rhyme “We promise!” or, conversely, “No way!”

The answers do not always rhyme in meaning - the host warns the guests to be careful and not get caught.

1. We are smart, cheerful,
The house is full of tables!
Shall we have a nice walk?
Guests: - We promise!

2. We were invited to a holiday,
And we forgot to undress.
Shall we sit at the table in a coat?
Guests: - No way!

3. Our glasses, our dishes,
Like other dishes,
Don't forget to fill it.
Guests: - We promise!

4. We will interrupt everyone,
Argue, quarrel, shout,
As if we know everything in the world?
Guests: - No way!

5. We will sing and dance,
Smile, flirt,
Clapping together one hundred grams!
Guests: - We promise!

6. Let's dump the soup on the dress,
Let's lie face down in the salad
And let's drop the cup of tea.
Guests: - No way!

7. Jokes away, smiles too,
It's no good to have fun here!
Whoever laughs is kicked out?
Guests: - No way!

8. We don’t sit sullenly in the corner,
Away from games and noise,
Are we going full blast?
Guests: - We promise!

9. Let's enjoy the gossip
And to find fault with the hostess:
Everything is tasteless, everything is wrong.
Guests: - No way!

10. The toastmaster tried for us,
And by the end I was hungry!
Are we treating the toastmaster?
Guests: - We promise!

Leading: Great! Then the holiday can begin!

Jubilee Scenario

Scenario #000140

Oh, you are guests, gentlemen.
Why did you come here?
Or is life bad at home?
But the clothes are simply wonderful.
And the answer is quite simple,
Our Elena is young
And among your friends
I decided to celebrate my anniversary.
But, dear guests, before we begin our celebration,
Let's find out why you came here:

Green ball - come to get drunk,
Red ball - have fun
Yellow ball - eat something tasty,
Blue ball - there was nowhere else to go.
And yet we came to the celebration - Anniversary
Elena Nikolaevna.
Dear guests, let's welcome our
hero of the day so that she feels
the warmth of our hearts.

Dear Elena Nikolaevna
Your anniversary is just a little bit,
But the years were not lived in vain.
It's been a long road,
Great things have been done.
May life always be like this.
So that the years go by and you don’t count them,
Never grew old at heart
And they would never sigh bitterly
There is no escaping anniversaries.
They will overtake everyone like birds.
But the main thing is to carry it through the years
Warmth of the soul, a bit of cordiality.
Today is your anniversary.
We sincerely congratulate you!
And we wish the most important thing in life:
Health, happiness, joy.
And up to a hundred years without growing old!
We raise our glasses.
Dear friends, our dear family, of course we know each other, but let’s still get to know each other better.
What's your name
1. At the anniversary, you will play the role of the ringleader - with your mood you will win over all the guests and have fun yourself.
2.You will sit at the table until the vodka runs out.
3. At the anniversary, you play the role of director - you will be the most important, and the guests must obey you.
4. Your neighbor across the street will confess his love to you all evening.
5. You play the role, praisers will go out into the street and tell everyone how beautiful our hero of the day is.
6.You will give your last 100 rubles to the guest sitting on the right (left)
7.You - ambulance If someone becomes unwell, you must provide medical assistance
8. Your neighbor will carry you home (left), (right)
9.You will walk home on your own feet.
10.You are the one who makes the most toasts.
11.You will stay overnight here.
12.You sing the most.
13.You will dance the most.
14.Candy wrappers, fish and meat bones
15. Don’t put it on the table, put everything in your neighbor’s pocket.

Song Remake "Cheburashka"
Let our years fly by.
We are not afraid of adversity
We keep our tails up anyway
We're all good together
We love dancing and singing
We all like this kind of vacation.
Chorus
We play the harmonica
In plain sight of those sitting
Celebrating Birthday
Only once a year.

To hell with stones and kidneys.
And sleepless nights
Diathesis, diabetes and gastritis.
Let's not bury ourselves in holes
Let's break all the barriers
We will defeat chondrosis and nephritis

Chorus
We love to eat delicious food
Listen to jokes
We are ready for the furthest journey.
Don't care about pain
Let's crawl on all fours
If you need to go for a walk somewhere.

Well, in the meantime, have a snack and a drink,
Of course, among you there are those
who adhere to the principle
“There is not a big gap between the first and second”
I would like to inform you about table manners
1. Everyone have fun today, otherwise we won’t let you get hungover.
2. Sliding under the table, politely say goodbye to the guests.
3. Today no one claims such nonsense as:
“It’s time for me to go home,” “Don’t drink,” “Don’t yell.”
4. Don’t spit under the table, there may be guests there too.
5. Don’t even think about saying that you can’t drink too much,
The meaning of life for everyone present will come down to getting you drunk.
6. When the toast is made, you need to drink so that you can see the ceiling through the bottom of the glass.
7. If you don’t rely on yourself, put a note with your home address in your pocket.
8. Do not gather under the table for more than three, and follow the traffic rules.
9. Everyone must drink the first three glasses, the rest will go without a special invitation.
10. If you can't dance standing, dance while sitting.
11. Remember, drink to the bottom, but don’t lie down.
12. Everyone can drink, you just need to know when to stop.

And now there's a dance break.

Now, while everyone was having fun, the postman Pechkin came.
As you can guess, probably to the address of the hero of the day
Telegrams arrived, and even a parcel post.
He himself refused to come in, because he was afraid that the bicycle would be stolen, and entrusted me with reading out the telegrams:

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