According to statistics, women are more likely than men to be addicted to love. And it’s not just the ladies’ excessive emotionality. There are quite a lot of reasons why women cannot live independently or forget a man with whom they broke up not so long ago (and perhaps a long time ago). But in any case, love addiction must be fought. After all, it can lead to serious problems.

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Love, according to experts, is one of the most powerful feelings on earth. If a person is in love, he is able to move mountains. However, this is only useful if the love is healthy. If it transforms into addiction, it will not lead to anything good. This is due to the fact that addiction is, in most cases, only negative experiences, and being in negative energy for a long time is detrimental to both the mental and physical health of a person. Moreover, women suffer especially greatly from this.

Signs of love addiction in ladies

First of all, the fact that the lady has become dependent on her feelings for a man is indicated by the fact that she is losing her “I”. She loses her own interests, everything a man wants becomes more important to her than anything else, and she is ready to do literally anything to satisfy his desires.

A woman becomes dependent not on a man, but on her feelings for him. And with any other object the situation can repeat

Another sign that a woman suffers from love addiction is the fact that she is depressed all the time. Also, such a lady usually gives up her favorite hobbies and is prone to stress and depression.

Sometimes such a woman is characterized as too demanding and capricious. After all, she tries her best to attract attention to herself. But she appears as such only to those around her. The object of her adoration sees a woman who is ingratiating and ready to do anything for him.

Patterns of behavior characteristic of love-dependent women

You can try to calculate in advance which lady could potentially turn out to be a love addict. Typically, such disorders affect women who are amorous, who are accustomed to using the first impression to create an image of another person.

Also, ladies who become strongly attached to people, cannot let go of a person even after saying goodbye to him and cannot forget about him can also suffer from love addiction.

Love addiction can also overtake those who have a special attitude towards the feeling of “love”. If for a woman it is the most important thing, for which she is ready to sacrifice her interests, friends, work, etc., she is at risk.

Women who constantly fall in love and try to start relationships with those men with whom this is obviously impossible are literally doomed to suffering. Just as those ladies who have spent a long time with a person who suppresses and humiliates them can suffer from addiction.

If a woman is inclined to change her plans and desires out of readiness to please a man, she also runs the risk of becoming addicted to love. The same problem applies to those ladies who are afraid of the feeling of loneliness and are ready to tolerate anyone next to them because of this, according to the principle “if only it is.”

Causes of love addiction

There are many reasons for this rather severe mental disorder. Experts have even identified a whole list, which includes, among other things:

• parental overprotection;
• absence of a father in the girl’s family;
• stress and depression over a certain period of time;
• special psyche;
• low self-esteem.

The reason why a woman may develop a love addiction is not always obvious. Sometimes two or even three reasons are combined at once

In the first case, love addiction can develop due to a woman’s inability to communicate with the opposite sex. This happens because the parents were too protective of their daughter and did not teach her how to communicate with peers, including boys. As a result, a grown-up lady, without learning to understand people, can choose a completely ordinary man, a loser, with a lot of complexes and problems, as the object of her desire. It is these, oddly enough, that in most cases become the cause of female love addiction.

Girls who did not have a father usually idealize the image of a man. And when they find a suitable option, they try to fit it to their ideas about the ideal. Then they fall in love with the resulting creation and are disappointed when everything turns out wrong.

If a woman is going through a difficult period, it is easy for her to become dependent on a man. It is enough that there is someone who seems to lend a shoulder. In fact, he didn’t set him up, and he wasn’t particularly eager, but if the woman herself offers, then he didn’t refuse. As a result, an illusion of attention and support is created, which you don’t want to part with at all.

Women with a special – inflexible psyche – are distinguished by their overly straightforward character and lack of ability to compromise. Such ladies, due to their special attitude to life, rarely enter into love relationships. But if this happens, it takes over the woman entirely.

Low self-esteem is one of the main reasons why women suffer from unrequited love. Moreover, it is not at all a fact that the lady is ugly, stupid or poor. It’s just that deep down she feels unworthy of anyone, including the man who is next to her.

How to deal with love addiction

Doctors have not fully learned how to deal with addictions of any kind, including love ones. There are quite a lot of methods that are practiced, but it is quite difficult to call any one of them effective.

First of all, you need to realize that this is no longer love, but a real disease. Moreover, the disease is quite serious. But only the woman herself can do this. Until she realizes and accepts this fact, and also gets ready to undergo treatment, the success of the enterprise is not guaranteed. When a woman understands exactly what she feels for a man, it is easier for her to sort out her relationship and get rid of addiction.

Her closest circle - parents, sisters, brothers, friends - can help a woman heal. The main thing is that they do not consider a woman’s love addiction a whim. After all, in fact, the lady is sick, and this cannot be ignored. It is her close circle that should help her begin to love herself, thereby embarking on the path to recovery. Naturally, in this situation, shopping, visiting a beauty salon and a complete change of image, choosing interesting activities for the soul, etc. help well.

Sometimes medication is used to combat love addiction. Taking antidepressants and vitamin complexes is especially common.

Sessions with a specialist also help a lot: hypnosis, auto-training, gestalt therapy, neurolinguistic programming, etc.

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Various sports training also help in getting rid of love addiction. Those options that connect body and soul, such as yoga or Pilates, will be especially good. They help you better understand your body, evaluate its capabilities and provide harmony. Alternatively, you can go dancing. Strip plastic, belly dancing and other areas that help a woman reveal her feminine essence to the maximum. It has been proven that a woman who practices specifically feminine dance variations is more self-confident, better understands her desires and is able to make a man dependent on her for love.

You can use a new job as a treatment for love addiction. Especially if you really didn’t like the old one. After all, there is a reason to discover new talents in yourself. You can look for the organization of your dreams, or you can start your own business.

But what you definitely shouldn’t do when treating love addiction is to drown out pain and depression with alcohol and drugs. In addition, the path to nowhere is blackmailing a man. This happens especially often in situations where the gentleman is married and does not intend to leave the family, but a persistent admirer seeks to destroy the family idyll. If a man doesn’t need a woman, then she doesn’t need him either. It’s better to forget about such a romance, like a bad dream, and move forward towards new and complete happiness.

Typical situations are considered by Elena Kuznetsova, director of the Vladimir dating agency “Me and You,” psychologist, consultant on interpersonal relationships.

“A woman’s emotional decline turns out to be much longer, because she manages to fall in love with a man completely, since he suits her on all fronts. Women worry longer and move away longer, because they no longer love just their partner, but also their feelings for him,” Kuznetsova comments on the situation.

The psychologist recommends that ladies at the initial stage of a relationship learn more about the everyday preferences of their lover: what food he likes, shirts, what color he wears, etc. All this knowledge will help you keep a man near you in the future.

“If a woman is smart, she should take advantage of the moment while a man is in love with her. She must find out what a man likes and what he values. During this period, the partner gives the young lady the whole schedule, everything that is possible and impossible, he is “naked” in front of her. And when a man begins to cool down emotionally, I must offer the gentleman his complete favorite set: here are the pies, and here are the striped socks. And also dumplings - also from the list. A lady must do everything to,” states Elena Kuznetsova.

Overcoming love addiction

The stronger the dependence on a lover or beloved, the. It is impossible to say exactly how long it takes people to recover. The process is individual for everyone, but the general advice for everyone is as follows.

Immediately after, try to leave for a while. A change of scenery is beneficial because in the new place nothing will remind you of the minutes spent together. In addition, new impressions and emotions will help crowd out sad thoughts.

Another option is to go completely to work. In this case, you also will not have time for tragic thoughts.

Don't forget about the gym. Work out until you sweat. Physical exercise will help relieve negative energy and relax.

It is important to organize your leisure time correctly. Try to keep your brain working all the time, so in your free time, read books (but reading should really captivate you) and watch movies. Just don’t opt ​​for melodramas and romance novels where “everything is about me.” It is better to give preference to thrillers, action films, and films with “action”.

It’s better to forget about the “wedge by wedge” option. This method of forgetting with the help of a new hobby is not very good, because psychologically people are often not immediately ready for a new relationship. We continue to love and remember one person and look for his traits in another. And when the comparison turns out to be not in favor of the new partner, we only become irritated, and no “recovery” occurs. The situation often only gets worse.

If you want to suggest your topics regarding interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir: [email protected].

Love addiction is a strong passion, dependence on a person. Love addiction is not a type of love. It is one of the types of codependency, the same as addiction to drugs, alcohol, virtual fortune-telling or slot machines.

Despite this, many people mistake addiction for love. And they sincerely believe that pain is a property of love, although in fact it is a property of dependence.

Dependency is present to one degree or another in every relationship. Some psychologists believe that addiction is even more common than true love.

The situation would look sad if the tendency to love addiction could not be overcome in oneself...

Anatomy of love addiction

What happened to me is commonly called love addiction. It was after this story that happened in my life that I realized that something was wrong with me. That is, I always knew this, but I only realized now what exactly was wrong...

...When he's not around, I just can't breathe! I don’t know what to do, all my thoughts are occupied with him and only him! Sometimes when we see each other, it’s as if I’m at the height of bliss, I’m overwhelmed with feelings, it’s delight! But it’s so little for me!

I throw tantrums, yes. He leaves again - everything repeats itself again, I feel bad, it’s hard, I sometimes shake, I can’t sleep normally. And all life is like a swing, now up, now down. I'm very tired….

...When she’s nearby, I just have a surge of strength, a fountain of enthusiasm, I can do anything, I’m ready to move mountains! But as soon as there is weakness, apathy, lethargy, you don’t want anything. I think about her constantly. And even when I know that we won't see each other today, I continue fantasize how nice it would be if we spent this evening together...

And sometimes, when she is nearby, it suddenly seems to me that the feelings have passed, and I even begin to feel disgust for her. And I feel sick, unable live a full life. And at the same time, I’m not ready to give it up...

Most often, this is how the confessions of those who suffer from love addiction sound. What is it based on?

Any addiction is formed when we are sorely lacking something. As a rule, a person lives without this for years, but vaguely understands that something is wrong, that he is deprived of something important. And then this important thing suddenly comes, and the person rushes into this experience with all his might, feeling that this is what he has been deprived of for so long. And if dependence arises from relationships, it does not occur to a person to think about how adequate they are.

After all, relationships are not alcohol, not drugs, they are not condemned by society, relationships are not food in huge quantities, and no one will judge you for being overweight. Relationships are not a game in an underground casino; they themselves are considered normal, and therefore love addiction is often suspected only when the situation really takes a very sad and painful turn.

Love addiction. Signs

1. Lack of one’s own life, complete devaluation of one’s own interests, constant focus on a partner, inability to be alone with oneself in a calm state, constant thoughts and fantasies about an object.
2. Relationships don't develop. As a rule, they revolve around several scenarios, which are always repeated with variations, even if people live together.
3. An increase in tolerance, that is, the “dose” of attention that suited you before, no longer suits you, you always want more, and this thirst is no longer satisfied, even if the attraction was mutual at first. “Together is bad, apart is bad” is the state to which addicts often arrive.
4. The appearance (or exacerbation) of the following symptoms: weakness, increased anxiety, depression, or vice versa, poorly controlled and constant emotional arousal, tension, poor sleep, mood swings, exacerbation of chronic diseases.

Let's look at each group of signs of love addiction in order.

Emptiness inside

As a rule, at first the dose of the drug seems sufficient and acceptable. And then it inevitably begins to grow, forcing the addict to use more and more each time.

And the saddest thing about this is that if at first the drug gives at least some satisfaction, an increase in mood, delight and joy, then, with increasing doses, the drug becomes what is needed to simply live normally, or to live at least somehow .

I have more than once heard confessions from addicts in the spirit of “I needed to drink/inject myself, etc. to just get up and start functioning.”

Sometimes this is exactly what happens in addictive relationships. First - joy, delight, euphoria. Then there are grievances, claims, tears and threats. And the need “for him/her to just be in order to somehow live.”

Naturally, over the years of, for example, such a relationship, a huge feeling of dissatisfaction accumulates. Because a person has already discovered the fact that there is a certain emptiness inside him that requires filling. Whether he fully realized this or not is not so important. It is important that filling it with a partner turns out to be worse and worse over time.

Extreme stage of love addiction

A person in a state of love addiction is forced to constantly control his partner. After all, a very large amount of emotions, something important and necessary, is located somewhere outside, in the partner, who, nevertheless, has his own free choice.

And, accordingly, the addict is always haunted by the fear of losing a partner, and through this, the loss of what is important and necessary, emotions and states that create a sense of life. And the companions of such a situation for an addict are always anxiety, constant tension, fears, painful experiences, melancholy, depression or constant nervous excitement.

If we translate all this into the language of chemistry, then in such a situation a person experiences an increased secretion of adrenaline, which, in general, is intended for experiencing and reacting in acute life situations, for confronting danger, for accelerating in a situation of time pressure.

But constantly being “on edge” is a situation that the body does not provide for. And a chemical imbalance in one leads to the fact that other parts of the nervous system begin to suffer, and the hormonal levels familiar to a person are disrupted.

And since there is less and less satisfaction in such relationships over the years, endorphins are practically not produced, peace does not come, and instead of compensating for stress, exhaustion sets in, which, in turn, weakens all systems of the body, in particular, immunity, which is important for a person.

Love addiction - what to do?

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How to get rid of love addiction: treatment methods

The statement that true love is God’s reward, the brightest and noblest feeling, does not require proof. Every person wants to meet his only soul mate, and is immensely happy when Cupid's arrows hit his heart. However, there is a category of people whose feelings for their partner have reached enormous proportions and have crossed the border of the norm, transforming into a destructive, uncontrollable, abnormal love addiction.

Pathological attachment to a companion is one of the forms of behavioral addictions. This is a destructive obsessive passion that deprives the dependent subject of the ability to objectively assess the real situation and look soberly at his own status. Love addiction destroys inner harmony, deprives you of mental balance, and rewards you with pain, suffering and depression.

Symptoms of servile passion for a person of the opposite sex are similar to those of alcohol and drug addiction. Like other types of addictions, love addiction destroys the personality and is accompanied by painful withdrawal. An irresistible craving for a partner deprives the subject of autonomy, independence and freedom. A person who falls into Cupid's bondage ceases to exist in the real world, creating her own fantasy reality in which the only important creature is the object of her love. A person captured by manic passion is convinced that love and suffering are inevitable companions. She mistakenly believes that showing her feelings means sacrificing herself.

Love attachment promises the development of dangerous mental disorders, including depression, anxiety-phobic states, and constitutional psychopathy. Subjugation from a partner is the path to degradation, complete loneliness in a world of black blues.

How to identify an anomaly: signs of love addiction

Although the signs of addiction are obvious and vivid, a subject who has been captured by Cupid is not able to independently detect the symptoms of love addiction. What signals notify that matters of the heart are beginning to methodically destroy a person’s life? Psychotherapists point to the following signs confirming the development of love addiction.

Signal 1. “Voluntary” sacrifice

A person voluntarily and consciously devotes his life to creating conveniences for the chosen one and satisfying his needs. The dependent subject ignores his own interests and desires, becoming a nanny and nurse for his companion. The focus of the activities of a person who has fallen into the ranks of victims of love is to create comfortable living conditions for his partner, prevent his difficulties, and solve all problems.

Signal 2. Refusal of individuality

A typical symptom of love addiction is a person’s refusal to accept his own point of view. This situation is when a dependent person completely “dissolves” in the world of his partner, begins to look at what is happening through the eyes of his chosen one, and accepts his opinion as the only correct theory. The individual develops behavior patterns borrowed from the object of love. A person gives up personal interests and hobbies. Such a subject gradually loses its uniqueness, serving false purposes.

Signal 3. Loss of meaning in life in the absence of a partner

The most terrible symptom of love addiction is a person’s conviction that his life is aimless and meaningless without his chosen companion. Such a subject is sure that if his chosen one is not around, he will die in splendid isolation. The thinking of a dependent person is fixed on one goal - to keep the partner by any means. The sick individual develops pathological jealousy. He tries to find compelling arguments confirming the betrayal and cooling of feelings of his chosen one.

How to overcome love addiction: the path to freedom

Love addiction leads to the destruction of a unique individuality and merging with a group of unfortunate faceless victims. Manic passion leads to moral devastation, the formation of deep depression, the development of anxiety disorders and personality degradation. Therefore, overcoming the obsessive craving for a life partner is a necessary step to maintain uniqueness, independence and happiness. How to get rid of cruel love addiction? We follow the advice of psychologists.

• Getting rid of love addiction is impossible without admitting: the problem exists. It is necessary to realize that the current slave situation interferes with normal life activities, deprives one of energy and strength, and does not promise any benefits in the future.
• It should be remembered that it will not be possible to overcome the devilish addiction and heal the wounds of love in a matter of days. You need to be patient and be prepared for long, painstaking work to change your own personality.
• It will not be possible to overcome love addiction if a person has low self-esteem: he is accustomed to underestimating his own capabilities and does not recognize the presence of personal merits. It is the lack of self-esteem that brings an individual into the ranks of victims of love. Therefore, it is necessary to improve your opinion of yourself and get rid of your complexes. Psychological trainings provide assistance in the formation of adequate self-esteem.
• To eliminate love addiction, you need to stop being an unconditionally submissive person, learn to say a firm “no” and defend your own interests. You cannot allow people around you to push around and use a weaker person to satisfy their desires. You should stop asking for forgiveness for the slightest mistake and clearly express your opinion, without fear that a different point of view will cause inconvenience to your partner.
• To stop love bondage, you need to give up supporting roles. You need to identify the victim traits in your character and work on developing leadership qualities.
• To remove the mark of a serf from yourself, you need to spend your life energy on developing your own talents, and not on satisfying the whims of other people. Remember that each person builds his own destiny and is responsible for his actions. You should not constantly look around at others, compare yourself with others, you should preserve and develop your multifaceted inner world.
• The most difficult step to get rid of a fatal passion is to predict your future and evaluate existing prospects. This action requires courage, determination, honesty and objectivity. It must be recognized that the current position of the victim will lead to the complete destruction of the individual. It is necessary to make a clear choice - to continue to exist, chained to the chain of love, or to be a free and happy person.

Hypnosis for love addiction

What to do if it is very difficult to get rid of love addiction on your own, if the treatment carried out by a psychologist does not bring liberation? Indeed, for many people, obsessive attachment to a partner becomes a very complex problem that cannot be solved with the help of psychotherapy. In love addiction, there are many non-obvious and unconscious factors that are often perceived by a person as insignificant details. However, such “minor” parts of the life program have a huge impact on the individual’s worldview and style of behavior. In such difficult situations with love addiction, you should take an important step: seek help from a hypnologist.

What is hypnosis for love addiction? Hypnosuggestive therapy is a joint collaboration between the hypnotherapist and the client, aimed at completely freeing the patient from stubborn irrational passion. A hypnologist is an experienced guide to the world of the subconscious, a competent expert who understands the inner world of his patient. Through immersion in a hypnotic trance, the hypnologist helps the client identify destructive components of thinking and aims to make enormous changes in the perception of one’s own personality and worldview.

Staying in a state of half-asleep makes it possible to voluntarily admit the presence of a problem and abandon the role of the victim. Hypnosis techniques help you make decisions and make changes to recover from love addiction. A person gains courage and becomes able to face the problem, abandoning the imposed dogmas.

Through suggestion, the hypnotherapist helps the addicted person change, teaching constructive techniques for overcoming stress, giving rational ideas for building a happy life. Treatment of addiction with hypnosis is necessary precisely in order to find the path to inner harmony and comfortable interaction with the outside world.

With the help of hypnosis, the patient gets rid of not only melancholy, resentment and hopelessness. The subject establishes the reasons why he fell into the network of addiction, identifying the provocateurs of escape from himself. As a result of treatment of addiction with hypnosis, the victim of love slavery gets rid of the feeling of his own insignificance, uselessness, hopelessness of the future and gains personal freedom.

Hypnosis sessions help not only to let go of destructive feelings, but also to prevent the development of depressive states in the future. The hypnologist guides the patient to solve the internal problem in a constructive way, which allows him to avoid the development of another pathological attraction in the future.

Treating addiction with hypnosis allows you to:

• completely overcome the learned helplessness syndrome;
• learn to love, respect and unconditionally accept your personality;
• get rid of inferiority complexes;
• develop self-confidence;
• overcome obsessive thoughts;
• eliminate irrational fears;
• objectively assess your potential;
• establish the required boundaries of personal freedom;
• develop a realistic perception of the characteristics of other people;
• develop a positive outlook on life;
• recognize yourself as the master of your own life.

Treatment with hypnosis gives a person the desire to move on, helps to gain inertia to create a happy life in which there is divine love, and there is no place for manic love addiction that destroys the personality.