Tatyana sincerely believed that loneliness was not evil, but a wonderful rest after another easy victory over a new man. It is also freedom from male pressure, from the shackles of family life. But one day she succumbed to romantic charms and even believed that Marat was the long-awaited prince from a fairy tale. He surrounded her with luxury and care, showered her with flowers and pampered her with luxurious trips. Unexpectedly for herself, Tatyana realized that she really wanted to become Marat’s wife, the only one for life. But it turned out that my beloved... contains a whole harem. Her heart was filled with pain and hatred, and Tatyana decided to take revenge...

Yulia Shilova

Harem in Russian, or I am your husband's mistress

From the author

I will not hide: in order to write this novel, I again had to sit on a dating site under the nickname STRANGER in black glasses and shake the men there for adequacy. The result is disappointing: the concepts of “adequacy” and “local virtual public”, unfortunately, have nothing in common.

Having completed the novel, she killed the profile. Forever already. She sighed again. One thing is good: after the release of my book “My heart puts an end to it, or Love on the Internet is not for the faint of heart,” dedicated to virtual love, many men deleted their profiles. This means that I still partially saved the girls from communicating with mentally ill people. If you haven't read my previous novel yet, be sure to read it. The Internet correspondence in that novel, as in this one you are about to read, is real. I actually wrote it while collecting material on a dating site.

I immediately noticed that sitting on a dating site is a very energy-consuming activity. You have to give too much energy to strange, even unpleasant subjects. I met on the site a bunch of inadequate perverts, real psychos, maniacs, pedophiles, gigolos, married scammers who are looking for a mistress while their spouse and children have flown away on vacation, or are even aiming for group sex, as well as terrible teenagers who offer to become a slave and give themselves up for eternal use.

Most of the letters worried me. As a psychologist, I asked leading questions, after which some interlocutors admitted that they were seeing a psychiatrist. Very often professional matchmakers visited my profile. They usually write something like this:

"Hello. I understand that you are completely uninterested in reading messages from a man with an empty profile and no photo, but I simply don’t have time to fill it out. I really liked you and would like to meet you. I am interested in a pleasant pastime (not only sex, but also restaurants, clubs, theaters, cinema, etc.). If you are interested and we have similar goals, please leave your mobile phone number. I will definitely call you back. Tolik."

It is visible to the naked eye: the message is written, as they say, as a carbon copy. If a girl gives her phone number, it will not be Tolik who will call her, but the matchmaker, who will say that Tolik is a client of her marriage agency, and not the best, there are more interesting, successful and free ones. In general, the matchmaker will do everything possible to impose his expensive services on you. This is how my reader wrote about her experience on a dating site:

“Julia, I ask for advice. I've been shaking for several days now. I posted my ad online on a dating site. Many people wrote, but I am timid, so I chose two, more or less whom I could trust. I talked to one of them for two months on the Internet. He's from another city. He convinced me to come. I immediately warned that the first meeting was possible only in a public place. And I removed myself from the site, and now I’m thinking: maybe I should rejoin the site and tell about this meeting in my personal open diary? Let others read and giggle. At the same time, I’ll “put grandpa down.” Or to hell with him, let him live?

Dear reader, I think such men need to be punished. And if you warn other girls from meeting him, you will only do a good deed! My good friend, who has been trying in vain to find her soul mate on a dating site for a long time, immediately warned me that most men put photographs on their profiles from fifteen years ago, often from their student days. She spoke about her encounters with similar subjects. There was simply no way to identify them from the photographs sent.

Sexually preoccupied psychos usually enter into correspondence like this:

– Whiskey?:)) when are we meeting?:) – Of course:))) I love hard sex:)) I’m seventeen centimeters. I measured it with a ruler.

When you abruptly send such a candidate away, he rears up and pours tons of crap on you: “Viper, don’t you want a healthy man?! I won't offer it twice! Go hit the keys!” And these are the majority. Without hesitation, they should be immediately blacklisted.

- Hello cute. I want to become your slave. You can invite your girlfriends over for the night and let me hang out in circles. Do whatever you want with me. - Don't you want some affection? I have twenty-one centimeters. Would you like to watch? Write address. I'll come now.

In Russia, the law prohibits having more than one wife, but especially loving people still find ways and live with several women at once. How is life for those who have organized a harem in their homes? Candid stories from men and their wives.

Chechnya, Nazhud Guchigov

Residents of the country did not understand what it was and whether this groom and husband had a first wife. Two years ago in Chechnya, a modest 17-year-old Chechen girl Kheda (Louise) Goylabieva and a man almost three times her age, the head of the Nozhai-Yurtovsky District Department of Internal Affairs in Chechnya Nazhud Guchigov, got married.

Guchigov himself initially said that he had a wife and did not need a second one. However, it soon became clear that there would be a wedding, and all public protests did not yield any results. They also said that the bride was not going down the aisle of her own free will, but only because of threats to the life and health of her relatives. This story is rather an exception; usually everything happens differently.

Oleg, Ekaterinburg

A resident of Yekaterinburg, Oleg, says that he is not a polygamist or a male, but a polygamous man who does not abandon his women after a night of passion, but takes responsibility for them. He is sure: the only thing that distinguishes him from other men in our country is that he does not hide his mistresses.

Oleg got married for the first time at the age of 25. During their 12 years of marriage, four children were born, and their father met another woman. But he did not leave the family; he explained to his two older children and his wife that he loved both of them, and the new love would live with them.

At first, the idea of living together did not suit both chosen ones, but after a month the passions subsided, and the family grew larger. To make everything fair, Oleg divorced, and his women distributed roles: the first wife irons, washes and cleans, the second takes over the kitchen and takes care of the children.
Oleg is convinced: polygamy is a huge mental burden that only a morally strong man can do. He is strong, and therefore a third wife is on the way. Oleg believes that one woman in the family grows up to be selfish.

Muhammad, Makhachkala

Muhammad, a reserve soldier from Makhachkala, believes that polygamy is not an achievement, but a great responsibility, because according to his faith, whoever treats his wives unfairly will be lopsided on the Day of Judgment. Muhammad has two wives. The second appeared after 2.5 years of family life with the first chosen one. He compares himself to a mother who loves her children equally. His spouses live separately: the first wife and child live in my house, for the second I rent housing.

“...I often go on business trips and it turns out that I spend varying amounts of time with my wives. The second wife is sympathetic to this. I ask her: “Do you mind if I break the line? She gives in to me."

Such polygamy, even if the parties wish, is prohibited in Russia. But Muhammad does not have a stamp in his passport; he married according to a religious ceremony.

Albert Akimov, Belarus

But a guy from Minsk has been trying unsuccessfully for several years to prove to others that, in his opinion, relationships with two girls at the same time are quite normal. Albert tried to build his first family with two women in 2013. Then the guy’s chosen ones were blonde Olga and brunette Natasha.

For the sake of two common-law wives, Albert left his parents' home, quarreled with his mother, and even quit his job, where his choice was not understood or supported.

The young people lived together in a rented apartment for about two years. True, in the end the girls could not withstand the pressure of dissatisfied relatives and friends and broke up with their “husband.” Abandoned Albert did not grieve for long and soon found a replacement for the traitors - two new wives, Irina and Natalya.

Despite the negative reaction of society, family and friends, Albert, apparently, does not plan to deviate from his goal - to become the husband of two women.

“Speaking about my Swedish family... I actually want to make a club so that people are not afraid to open up, I want to make websites... I want to prove that there are many people like me,” the guy admitted.

Gennady Tokarev, Voronezh region

In the village of Arkhangelskoye, Voronezh region, this man is known in every home. Gennady Tokarev is a local entrepreneur, owner of a large dovecote. However, it was not his professional achievements that brought him wide fame, but his marital status.

In general, formally the man’s family is all right: he has children and a stamp in his passport. But in fact, in addition to his wife Marina, whom Gennady married back in 1997, he has two more wives: Anya and Natalya. The entrepreneur provides financially for all three.

The ladies live in different houses, and Gennady visits each one alternately. Well, the children (Gena has five from three women) are friends and willingly communicate.

The only disadvantage of such relationships, women say, is public opinion.

“One thing is bad: the neighbors have gone wild. It is clear that for the village our model of relations looks wild. But would it be better if Genka, like everyone else, secretly ran after women? And so everything is fine with us. Today, you won’t find such a man from whom it’s not scary to give birth, let alone in the village, in the city,” says Anna.

Israil Akhmednabiev, Dagestan

A native of Dagestan, Israil Akhmednabiev, better known as Abu Umar Sasitlinsky, by the age of 35 had acquired four wives and 16 children.

Until 2013, life for Israil was quite smooth. The man was engaged in social activities, promoted polygamy, appeared on local television, alternately lived for several days with each wife, providing women and children with food and everything necessary for life.

Vika's wife was pleased with the position of one of four wives. True, the girl was a little embarrassed that her husband appeared too rarely and spent much longer time with other wives. For example, Batul, who, in her own words, has a special secret for attracting her husband’s attention: cooking deliciously and pleasing everyone.

“When you want to distinguish yourself from his other wives, it stimulates you even more. You start inventing all sorts of new options,” the woman says.

Despite outbursts of jealousy among women, Israil admits: healthy competition reigns in his large family.

The fabulous life of the Dagestan harem of Israil ended two years ago. The man was forced to urgently move abroad. And all because the Russian special services suspected him of having connections with a terrorist organization banned on the territory of the Russian Federation. According to the latest data, the polygamist, along with his spouses and children, had to move to the Middle East.

Yulia Shilova

Harem in Russian, or I am your husband's mistress

There is a growing feeling that most men register on a dating site with the hope of one-time sex. They began to insistently offer me to meet on my territory, and bombarded me with moaning about their cold and ununderstanding wives. Almost everyone was the first to write that they really wanted to give me fabulous pleasure. The very young guys were especially surprised. They vowed to fulfill any sexual desire, in the very first message they stated that they stupidly wanted sex: apparently, in real life no one gives them. They have no idea how to care for a girl, so they try to take her with a cavalry charge.

A lot of letters came from ordinary virtuals who have been hanging on the Internet for many years and do not at all want to move into real life. They are quite satisfied with daily correspondence with dozens of people. They came to the site not to get acquainted, but simply to spend time. More precisely, not even carry out, but kill. But it turns out that they are killing not only their time, but also the time of the one who entered into this hopeless correspondence, not knowing that it will never result in anything real.

And here’s the conclusion I made (it’s also the main advice to all normal people who have visited such a site): you shouldn’t drag out the virtual correspondence. If a man is not ready to meet in a couple of weeks, then most likely he will never decide to date. So don’t be afraid to be the first to suggest a meeting. If a man refuses and continues a long correspondence, perhaps he is a prisoner and does not have the opportunity to meet with you now.

This is how my reader wrote about her experience on a dating site:

So I come and see him. I immediately understand that he lied about his age - in fact, he is twenty years older. Not a flower, not a chocolate (the girl drove a hundred kilometers to see him, and he huddles). I'm silent.

He says, let’s go to the square to watch a fairy tale. Get hurt! It's winter outside, it's like winter, I wish I could invite you to the puppet theater. I say that I can’t stay outside for a long time - I catch a cold easily.

And this old goat began to drag me around the underground gallery: first he would go into one department, then into another. Like they chose a watch for him (they never chose it).

My grandfather and I go further, he pushes me a rotten theory - they say that there are few men in our country, and women should be happy if an older man pays attention to them. And I tell him - yes, there are fewer men in our country, but in Norway and Australia seventy percent are men. Therefore, you can pay attention to these countries, especially since our girls are in great demand there.

Then my grandfather spoke about Alla Borisovna and Galkin, I didn’t listen anymore... Then he started talking about young people, saying what assholes they all are. Then he moved on to discussing nations. His Tatars are cunning-eyed, the gypsies are thieving, the Tajiks and Uzbeks are dark-skinned and don’t want to work.

And to be honest, I’m not a nationalist, I don’t like such conversations. She told him straight out that maybe the “little little ones” were nothing of themselves, but it’s unlikely that any of them would drag a girl through an underground passage and not even give her tea.

Grandfather left. He left me alone in a strange city and didn’t even ask when my bus was. But I don’t regret: there is no man - and this one is not a man. Nerd!

And I removed myself from the site, and now I’m thinking: maybe I should rejoin the site and tell about this meeting in my personal open diary? Let others read and giggle. At the same time, I’ll “put grandpa down.” Or to hell with him, let him live?

Dear reader, I think such men need to be punished. And if you warn other girls from meeting him, you will only do a good deed!

The site is full of men who want to pour out their souls to a stranger, disappointed in their previous relationships. When you start questioning these men in more detail, they show their thorns and write: “I’ve already been burned twice. All women are cunning and dangerous. I don’t want to be scammed and betrayed a third time.” When you ask why they came to this site, the “mourners in a vest” honestly answer that they are interested in sex for once or twice.

Married people usually give messages like this: “Hi! Can I ask you if you would agree to have an easy sexual relationship with a married man if you like him?”

My good friend, who has been trying in vain to find her soul mate on a dating site for a long time, immediately warned me that most men put photographs on their profiles from fifteen years ago, often from their student days. She spoke about her encounters with similar subjects. There was simply no way to identify them from the photographs sent.

Sexually preoccupied psychos usually enter into correspondence like this:

Whiskey?:)) when are we meeting?:)

What are you looking for on website?

Continuous drunkenness and sexual excesses :))) Just need to protect yourself :)))

Should sex be on the first date?

Of course:))) I love hard sex:)) I have seventeen centimeters. I measured it with a ruler.

Hello cute. I want to become your slave. You can invite your girlfriends over for the night and let me hang out in circles. Do whatever you want with me.

Dear young man, how is your head? Have you checked recently?

Don't you want affection? I have twenty-one centimeters. Would you like to watch? Write address. I'll come now.

Hello! Do you want to have a personal slave as a servant and with intimacy? I will be your sex toy, ready to fulfill your every whim. I like to serve, clean, wash, wash, cook, take care of shoes. I do whatever the mistress orders. I'm looking for someone who needs a household slave for a long time.

I played, dreamed, loved, suffered, was at the bottom, alone, in wealth, in hell and in heaven. She lived on the edge, threw herself into a crazy hell, cursed fate, resurrected and found the strength to start all over again. I cut hearts, fell in love quickly and cooled down too quickly. I took away funds, strength, time and feelings. I liked it so much when men became helpless...

I have never been bothered by lost souls. I can erase a man’s life with just my appearance. I choose a man like a spider chooses a victim. I will not hide that in my life there have been specimens that were too tough for me. I understood that I lost, but I know how to lose with dignity and leave the last word.

My position in life is to create difficulties for men and torment them to the point of insanity. Sometimes I dream that I'm stabbing a man in the heart, laughing loudly, and then licking the blood from the blade. At times, a real devil possesses me, and I become happy from the suffering of others. Sometimes I'm afraid of myself because I don't know what I'll do next minute.

I often meet beautiful, bright, dazzling women, but they are somehow artificial, without courage and sparkle in their eyes. WOMEN DOLLS... Identical lips, eyes, hair... Still so young, but already so tired, disappointed and lost. It seems that not only is there no life in them, but not even a hint of a soul. Their smiles and words are insincere, their friendship is false and their love is without love... I understand why these women are unhappy. Indeed, how can you be happy if you surround yourself with fakes? They have their happiness in the form of drugs and alcohol.

I love LIVING WOMEN, without excesses and confused conceit. I understand that it’s hard to radiate light when the burden of life’s problems and experience weighs on your shoulders, when emotional experiences prevent you from smiling. Still, how amazing are those who have not lost their childish spontaneity, can smile in spite of themselves and enjoy an ordinary day...

A woman should bloom at any age. The ability to beautifully bear one’s age, to discover for oneself the delights of life, to be able to surprise and be amazed, to have a supply of vitality and energy is an art, a gift that, alas, is not given to everyone. It is important to have not only a beautiful shell, but also an equally beautiful filling. A WOMAN IS STRONG WITH CONTENT. You can’t hide behind your appearance for long...

I have always admired those who know how to LIVE BRIGHTLY. Many people live their lives on the fly and don’t think about whether they are happy or not. Almost everyone is dissatisfied with life, love, male attitudes and the eternal struggle for survival. Despite the presence of a husband or lover, in the depths of their souls they cherish dreams of unrealistic happiness and say that their fate is broken... Marriages for love turn into marriages for long-suffering. Love tends to go away; attachment remains.

At night, many dream of throwing everything to hell, giving their annoying husbands a kick in the ass and going in search of new love, so that the blood boils in their veins with passion. It would be nice to take your loved one by the hand, board a plane and fly to another city, to the church to listen to the organ... But these are just dreams. Everyone lives in eternal fear of loneliness and with an eye on other people's opinions.

I see girls dreaming of giving their youth to a person who will help make the start to success as effective as possible. Everyone has the right to their own priorities. For some it is a material component, for others it is love... These girls are so young, but they no longer believe in love... They don’t believe in anything at all. Except money.

And at their age I believed. I believed that I would find a worthwhile man, and with him I would find myself... I had been looking for a man for so long who could change me. I met him. He changed me, but he disappeared. I became DIFFERENT. The first separation and the first pain... I remember how I walked down the street. I was cold, I wiped away my tears and painfully scratched my hands with the keys. Then it seemed to me as if they were scraping me out from the inside with a blade, and my soul was being burned with a hot iron. Complete madness! I wanted to call a doctor and ask him to inject novocaine into my heart. Ask for a love potion. But I understood that such mixtures do not exist.

Current page: 1 (book has 12 pages total) [available reading passage: 7 pages]

Annotation

Yulia Shilova

Harem in Russian, or I am your husband's mistress

And this old goat began to drag me around the underground gallery: first he would go into one department, then into another. Like they chose a watch for him (they never chose it).

Grandfather left. He left me alone in a strange city and didn’t even ask when my bus was. But I don’t regret: there is no man - and this one is not a man. Bore! And I removed myself from the site, and now I’m thinking: maybe I should return to the site and tell about this meeting in my personal open diary? Let others read and giggle. At the same time, I’ll “put grandpa down.” Or to hell with him, let him live?

Dear reader, I think such men need to be punished. And if you warn other girls from meeting him, you will only do a good deed!

Married people usually give messages like this: “Hi! Can I ask you if you would agree to an easy sexual relationship with a married man if you like him?” My good friend, who has been trying in vain to find her soulmate on a dating site for a long time, immediately warned me that most men hang On their profiles there are photographs from fifteen years ago, often from their student days. She spoke about her encounters with similar subjects. There was simply no way to identify them from the photographs sent.

Sexually preoccupied psychos usually enter into correspondence like this:

– Whiskey?:)) when are we meeting?:)

- What are you looking for on website?

– Continuous drunkenness and sexual excesses:))) You just need to protect yourself:)))

– Should there be sex on the first date? – Of course:))) I love hard sex:)) I’m seventeen centimeters. I measured it with a ruler.

- Hello cute. I want to become your slave. You can invite your girlfriends over for the night and let me hang out in circles. Do whatever you want with me.

- Dear young man, how is your head? Have you been checked lately? - Don’t you want some affection? I have twenty-one centimeters. Would you like to watch? Write address. I'll come now.

Here are excerpts from letters from my readers who posted profiles on a dating site:

One guy wrote to me. We corresponded for two weeks, then agreed to meet and exchanged phone numbers. When I saw him, I was shocked. Somebody is dirty, overgrown, dressed from someone else’s shoulder, and his face is soaked. I sideways, sideways and run away from him. Let him call, I'll drop the calls. I came home impressed. I turned on the computer and began to re-read the correspondence. I sit and think: how could such an interesting interlocutor turn out to be an alcoholic?!

I think dating sites are for lovers of cheap adventures. I divide men on sites into exactly two categories: concrete freaks who have no chance in real life, and married men looking for a fool for one night. But the tiny chance of meeting the same one falls to one in several thousand. I had to dig through a lot of crap before I found mine. It's like looking for gold. You rinse, rinse all sorts of crap, and then once - there’s an ingot! But, unfortunately, not always and not for everyone, a decent person comes across.

Personally, I’ve already spent my time on sites. I've seen enough of this, I tell you! One even threatened with a weapon. Before this we had talked for a long time, he seemed like an adequate person. I think you need to communicate as much as possible before the meeting. You need to pay attention to absolutely everything. If a person is not himself, then this can be noticed by some details.

On a dating site, everyone wants to present themselves in the best light. There is nothing shameful or offensive in this. Although up there, everything has long been written out: who is with whom and why. The ratio of normal people to idiots is not at all the same as in life. There are a lot more idiots on the site. It’s just that in real life, idiots behave more modestly, but on the site they consider themselves anonymous and think that they are allowed everything. To meet a normal man, you need to spend a lot of time. Every day we have to weed out idiots in batches. There are plenty of crooks here.

And I received a strange message:

I am alone. I'm on holiday in Cyprus. Can you put money on my phone? I need five hundred rubles, or give me as much as you can. There is no option to pay here. When I arrive, I will return the money and bring back a souvenir from Cyprus. I ask you as a human being, help me. I really need it. I only asked you because I like you. Sorry for my impudence, but I have no other choice. Everyone who could help me is unwilling to do so for a number of reasons.

This letter is a clear confirmation that there are a lot of scammers on the dating site. You should also avoid profiles of men without photographs. This is where you should be wary. Married womanizers who are looking for entertainment secretly from their spouse usually do not post their photo. A letter without a photo is a guarantee that the wife will not find out about anything.

If the interlocutor seems inadequate in communication, it is better to avoid him too. Perhaps he is sitting at the monitor, and in front of him is a bottle of vodka. Or he is under the influence of drugs. Do you need this?

One of my readers met a young man on the site. Their romance began instantly. The young man immediately moved to the city and settled with the girl. After six months of a wonderful relationship, he somehow came home from work and said that it was time to break up. He packed his things and left for his place. The stunned girl immediately went online and found his dating profile. Having taken a new nickname, she began to communicate with him and was shocked: he wrote the same text as six months ago. It turned out that the young man simply saves on housing and lives until the girl begins to hint at something big, that is, the official registration of marriage, the birth of a child.

The messages made my head spin. It seemed like I was covered in mud. I wanted to wash off the alien energy and remove my profile from this site, but I had to write a novel to make it believable.

No serious man would make an overt sexual proposal to a stranger in his first letter. If this happens, it is clear that the man is only counting on short-term sex. So he will most likely disappear into thin air after the first meeting. It is dangerous to get involved with such types. It’s scary to even imagine how many girls from this site he already had a relationship with. In fact, such men have a lot of complexes in real life. The best way out is to ignore or send the profile to the blacklist.

There are also a lot of male liars on the site who report that they occupy leadership positions. Such people will never go to a real meeting. They make their impossible dreams come true on the Internet and have fun doing it. If you want to bring them to light, you will get an explosion of aggression.

And of course, the dating site is full of loser men. They are very offended by life, with huge complexes. All they can do is complain about endless failures. They love to talk about their troubles and whine about the fact that all women are only looking for the rich. If you don't want to listen to their complaints, they will immediately call you a prostitute who only wants money.

Basically, everyone wants incredibly beautiful and liberated girls who would come to visit, bring delicious food, good alcohol, stay the night and make their wildest sexual fantasies come true.

Men over forty, as a rule, look for girls eighteen to twenty years old. And twenty-year-old guys are looking for women over forty. Do not forget also that communication in the virtual world does not oblige you to anything. There is no responsibility to people. Basically, everyone writes in a stereotyped manner, copying both poems and compliments. We need to connect our intuition. It is she who tells you whether it is worth spending time on this or that applicant. The main thing is that you should not stop searching for your man in real life, even if you have registered on all dating sites.

It is important not to become dependent on the site. Practice shows: a long search for one’s destiny on the Internet has a destructive effect on the human psyche.

Very often, men reduce their age, embellish their virtues, promote themselves, and increase their height. In a word, they play like little children. They forget to mention that they live with their mother and have never had their own car.

Another interesting trend should be noted: very often, as soon as a meeting is scheduled, a man reports that his expensive car is currently undergoing major repairs or, even worse, recently had an accident and cannot be restored. Therefore, they say, the poor fellow will never drive after what happened, but prefers public transport. The men who entered into correspondence with me never dreamed in a nightmare that they would end up in a book and show their TRUE face not only to me, but also to my huge readership. But there is also a huge plus for them: they are given an invaluable opportunity to look at themselves from the outside and understand: people must remain PEOPLE, regardless of whether we are in an anonymous virtual space or in real life. PEOPLE, NOT ANIMALS IN THE FULL SENSE OF THIS WORD.

For many men, correspondence on the Internet is just a hobby, an escape from the hated reality. As a rule, they are married and their marriage is unsuccessful. Alas, many of us are ready to believe in some romantic nonsense, because it is a balm for a soul yearning for love and tenderness.

Quite often, men hide their unsightly appearance behind a photo from a glossy magazine. Dating sites are full of perverts, despite the fact that there are specialized sites on the Internet. But there you have to pay, but here you can write about your perversions completely free of charge. It’s simply a pity for such types to spend money on these widely available services. These men do not immediately reveal their intentions. One of them sent me such photos that I couldn’t come to my senses for a long time. And this is me, a strong woman. And especially vulnerable girls, after communicating with perverts, fall into stress, depression and cannot recover for a long time. The saddest thing is that sites do not fine visitors for such antics. The site administration, unfortunately, is only interested in making money. It is better to immediately ignore these characters so that they do not traumatize your psyche.

The site is full of married adventurers. Many do not post their photo, others do not have a close-up view of their faces. They run away from the routine of family life, at the same time they value their marriages and are afraid of being noticed in some pranks. These are the majority of people on dating sites.

True, there are those who do not hide their unfree situation. They are looking for very young simpletons who will agree to an easy relationship in return for visiting an inexpensive restaurant. There are also a lot of virtuals on the site who are not at all interested in live communication. They can almost imagine themselves as oil tycoons and religiously believe in these fairy tales. For them it's just harmless fun. Usually these are unattractive and insecure types with a bunch of different complexes who are not able to attract a girl in real life.

Virtual life is addictive. This is probably why there are so many people who just like to chat on a dating site. People are looking for friends just to go to the movies or cafes. Well, why not have a session of free sex with a normal woman? It's still better than paying a prostitute for services.

Be careful! Don't believe everything they write to you. Even if they assure you that they have fallen in love, know that this is a lie.

Don't trust those who have recently divorced. I was alarmed by the letters from those who posted their profile on a dating site a month after the divorce. A normal person should pause after such a decisive step. Otherwise, he will make you his vest for tears, his savior, and when he realizes that he has become stronger, he will get rid of you as unnecessary and go all out.

If your virtual acquaintance puts off meeting you because he is constantly busy, it means that he is not going to meet you in real life. Don't take online dating too seriously. DON'T TURN YOUR REAL LIFE INTO A VIRTUAL LIFE.

When you post your profile on a dating site, please do not attach great importance to it. Even if lovely ladies get married through these sites, not all marriages are happy. Some are even more disappointed in the opposite sex, because there are many more scammers on the Internet than in real life.

The main thing is the ability to teach yourself. Remember: beauty does not play the most important role. Men who are unable to appreciate a woman as a person are attracted to her bright appearance. Do not forget: it is not the man who chooses, but Her Majesty the WOMAN.

I won’t hide that my attitude towards dating sites is negative. An ordinary dump where everyone is trying to sell themselves at a higher price. As a psychologist, I, to my deep regret, did not see any MINALLY PURE AND REALLY PROSPEROUS MEN there...

In order to avoid any troubles and misunderstandings, I am insuring myself and writing that ALL EVENTS, NAMES AND CHARACTERS OF THIS NOVEL ARE FICTIONAL. Special THANKS to my amazing friend Svetlana. I met her in Germany. Svetlana experienced such a virtual romance and with her story inspired me to create this work...

In my novel, I touched on the theme of a love triangle, not even a triangle, but a polygon. Nowadays, a husband sometimes has not only an official wife, but also a civilian wife and a bunch of mistresses. Health would allow it. I never judge mistresses. Alas, love chooses neither free men nor free women. Each of us can be a wife today and a mistress tomorrow. And vice versa. They say mistresses break up families. In reality, mistresses themselves are most often captured by illusions.

There are no ideal marriages. A man, having been married for many years, one day falls in love and begins to build relationships on the side. It is quite possible that the man still loves his wife and is trying to regain the feeling of newness of feelings. Most often in such situations, the mistress is left with nothing. They simply exchange her for another woman.

A man still wants to feel attractive, needed, loved. He is the first to feel the lack of emotional warmth. Perhaps in the first months the cheating husband and his mistress are connected simply by good sex, but it may also happen that they become truly attached to each other. But this doesn't happen often.

It is a rare man who is able to make a choice between his usual life in favor of a new relationship. He is tormented by a feeling of guilt before his lawful half, loves children and rushes between his wife and his new lover.

The situation “husband, wife and mistress” can last for years. Often everyone in this triangle suffers. A wife who gave her best years to her husband is suffering. The mistress who has been living with dreams and hope for years is worried. A man who is afraid to make a choice and does not want to lose either one or the other is going crazy. Either a family breakup occurs or a new family is created.

If there is no development in the “triangle”, a man and a woman simply meet and do not take concrete steps towards each other, you need to run away from such a relationship. One day, the mistress will come to understand that a married man is an empty ticket. Anyone who really wants to change their life will not delay for years and will take a decisive step. Therefore, to avoid excruciating pain in the future, it is better to consider your married lover as a temporary hobby until there is a more worthy candidate. I knew cases when men left their family, created a new one, and after a while became lovers of their ex-wives. The man begins to go to his former wife, supposedly to help her and the children. And he begins to do this more and more often and finally declares:

- I can not. Pulls me there...

- You can’t, so come back.

“Understand, you are better than her,” the man will begin to justify himself. – With you, life is like living at a luxury resort, and from any resort you always want to return home.

As a result, he packs up his things and returns to his ex.

And there are also options when, after returning, he again begins to rush between two women. And then all three suffer again, everything returns to normal.

The stronger sex is afraid of change. A man is held back by attachment to everyday habits. For him, the word “love” is most often associated with sex, but not with living together. For a man, marriage is a familiar way of life. For years he can convince his mistress that he will leave for her forever, and even begins to believe it himself, but subconsciously he will look for a reason to endlessly postpone the implementation of this decision.

The main reason for the appearance of a love triangle is stagnation in the couple’s relationship. There is no movement and no development, and what does not move, as we know, dies. This also applies to sexual relationships. Over the years, spouses cease to desire each other, and here it is important to throw in some “wood” in time so that the fire of a romantic relationship does not completely go out, leaving the two to the ashes of former love.

I am close to the words of my beloved Coco Chanel: “To be irreplaceable, you must always change.” In any family there must be a dynamic relationship that both partners need to work on. Only then will the family hearth burn for a long time. Many women, after getting married, finally calm down. They believe that the man is already in the stall and is not going anywhere.

If the relationship between the spouses has completely broken down, then the mistress is only a reason to leave the family. By the way, betrayal can destroy a family, or it can strengthen it. A man has a reason to understand that there is no better woman than his own wife.

I never engage in moralizing and do not want to judge ladies who take lovers and men who take mistresses. That's life. We are all trying to find someone to make us happy and build relationships based on love and respect. Whoever you are - a wife or a lover, let's understand and forgive each other.

I admit honestly, I was both a wife and a lover... It all depends on the person who is nearby. One made me the happiest wife, the other made me the most unhappy wife... I was able to take someone else’s husband away from the family, but I never knew true female happiness with him. I realized: this is not the person I need. I just took someone else’s, but I couldn’t feel it as mine.

Years later, I came to the conclusion that marriage is just a game of society, one of many. I don’t play these games yet; it’s very difficult for me within the framework of marriage. If a woman respects herself and loves herself, and it doesn’t matter who she is - a wife or a mistress, then she will never allow herself to humiliate herself in front of a man, to be dependent on him. The main thing is not to get hung up on the fact that without a man, life loses its meaning. A lady has the right to choose who to be with. And let men adapt to the weaker sex.

I don’t want to pit wives against mistresses and don’t want to prove who is better and who is worse. Both need to learn to live, love and understand their men. It is to understand, and not to pretend to understand. And this is a very complex science, like life itself.

My happiness is my freedom. I went to this for a very long time and paid too high a price. I am free from stereotypes, templates and prejudices. I don't care about critical views or other people's opinions. I am happy that I can remain myself and preserve my “I”. Happiness and freedom in my understanding are components of a single whole. This is the state of my soul.

I am the creator of my own happiness. Everything depends only on me, on my outlook on life. I am happy that I live, I can see and share my feelings with others. I am happy that my loved ones are alive and well. I’m happy that I can see the leaves fall, and in winter I can catch soft and fluffy snow in my palms, grab snowflakes with my mouth like in childhood. I am happy when a new day begins and the bright sun shines outside. I am happy that I am free to do whatever I want and know how to live in harmony with myself, realize my abilities and enjoy every moment. HAPPINESS needs to be SEEN and FEELED. So much beauty around!..

How to find a decent husband in our difficult times? This problem worries every second of my readers: both the one who has just graduated from school, and the one who has already sent her grandchildren to the same school. In your letters, you quite often ask me this question and ask, are there any real men left in this world, strong, purposeful?

Dear, dear, beloved, my smart, beautiful women, there are undoubtedly real men, only most often they have all been married for a long time and reliably. So you have to choose among those who are still free, despite the fact that this is often not the best and most meaningful choice. We get tired of loneliness.

In every letter you write there is pain because you cannot meet a worthy life partner. Lately I have come to the disappointing conclusion that they are almost all extinct, like mammoths. Not only are they too lazy to even care, all they can offer is sex for one night. But you really want to be loved, desired, to feel that you are needed.

Every woman craves an honest and sincere relationship. I want to sleep with my loved one, listen to his breathing and know that he will always be with me.

I sympathize with married women, they are painful to look at. It seems that at the time they got married, they were absolutely indifferent to whom they married. Husbands drink, become promiscuous, and drive their spouses to a nervous breakdown. There are men who are always sitting without work, simply put, parasites, and they explain this by their exclusivity or some incomprehensible mission in life. There are divorced men who say only nasty things about their ex-wives and immediately begin to strain their new passions with the financial problems of their former families.

It’s very difficult for me to understand how a man who is already over thirty still hasn’t found himself, although he seems to be constantly looking for himself in this life. Most likely, he will never be able to move forward, because he has wind in his head, and a windy man is not the best option for family life.

Readers often write that they do not need a prince on a white horse, they would like to have a calm, intelligent man. The worst characteristic of a man is greedy, but now there are a lot of such people... Years go by, and you really want to lean against a strong shoulder, feel weak and small... But alas... Instead, you come across rare scoundrels...

And yet it seems that we have forgotten one simple truth: it is not the man who is next to who can make a woman happy. Only one person can make her happy - herself. Each one must herself become the one with whom she wants to live.

If there is no close and loved one nearby, this does not mean that life has not happened. Some of my readers are so tired of loneliness and yearning for male affection that they are ready to marry anyone, even on humiliating conditions. He may be ugly and drunk, but he will belong to him. It’s not all about cuckooing alone.

No, my dears, not that! Let the bad and drunk ones go to someone else, but not to us, because we shouldn’t agree to a consolation prize.

When I divorced my husband and was left alone, having an unsuccessful experience in family relationships behind me, I found myself face to face with loneliness and a whole army of imaginary admirers who tried to persuade me to marry again. I was confused by so much attention to my person. These were a variety of men who tried in every possible way to have an affair with me, use me, sit on my neck or persuade me to marry, despite the lack of basic mutual feelings. False confessions, false words and false feelings rained down on me. I had enough strength and determination to resist this onslaught, not to rush out of hopelessness into the first arms that came my way and not to make another unforgivable mistake in my life - out of complete hopelessness and oppressive loneliness, to give up my life with a person who is a stranger in spirit. Then loneliness took root in my home almost legally, and I was able to coexist with it side by side quite peacefully for several years.