Good day, dear readers. Today we will look at the problem “I want to divorce my husband.” You will find out what reasons may cause such a desire. You will know how to behave correctly in such a situation, what to do if you have a child.

If there is a desire

Very often, girls who begin to think about divorce do not know where to start or how to act.

1. Think about the current situation. Make sure the reasons are good enough. It is important that you do not regret your decision later.
2. If in doubt, it is better to visit a family psychologist who can advise whether it is worth saving the family.
3. Contact a lawyer if you think that problems may arise during the divorce process.
4. You will need the support of your family and friends, so it is better to tell them about your intention and explain the reason for such a desire.
5. Start having a serious conversation with your husband. Voice the reasons why you want to break up. Try to avoid a scandal and part amicably.
6. Think about how you will continue to live without your spouse. Set yourself up for positive thoughts, don’t think that now you will remain alone forever. If a decision has been made to divorce, then it makes no sense to continue living with such a person.

When to give a second chance

The reason why you are thinking about divorce is not always justified. Sometimes everything is not so scary and you can try to save the family. Let's look at the cases in which you shouldn't rush to divorce.

1. You have an affair. You must understand whether the new relationship really evokes true feelings, whether the new partner really suits you. Is it worth leaving a person for the sake of some hobby, with whom you may have already lived for many years and experienced many problems?
2. You are offended by your husband. Are you really sure that this is a sufficient reason? Perhaps they themselves provoked their spouse or misunderstood something. In any case, there is no need to rush into a divorce.
3. Love has passed. The problem is that at the beginning of a relationship you are consumed by the feeling of falling in love and high levels of hormones. Over time, these feelings develop into affection and become a habit. Nothing prevents you from taking a fresh look at your spouse. Find qualities in him that you have not noticed before.

Serious grounds for divorce

1. The husband is an alcoholic. Perhaps he wasn’t like this before and it was all because of problems at work, but now something needs to be solved. Firstly, a person in such a state may turn out to be dangerous and aggressive. Secondly, he will not only not participate in making money, but will also begin to waste everything he finds. Thirdly, such a person is a terrible example for the younger generation. In such a situation, you need to try to treat him, if this does not help, get a divorce. If you have made a decision, do not give in to your husband’s pleas and assertions that he will stop drinking. Believe me, it will last for a week or two, then everything will start again.
2. The husband is a tyrant. This is one of the most terrible options when a person wants to subjugate the will of all loved ones. He is extremely picky, lets his hands go, does not give the right to choose, deprives one of freedom, controls finances, and experiences increased jealousy. Such a person treats children the same way, with excessive aggressiveness and severity. You must understand that such behavior is a deviation from the norm. It is possible that he himself suffered psychological trauma in childhood. You can try to contact a specialist who will find the cause and try to cope with his current condition. However, the problem here is that he is unlikely to agree to go to a psychologist. The best way out is to get a divorce, otherwise you risk both your health and the health of your children. You must be prepared for the fact that he will not give you a divorce so easily. Therefore, it is better to first contact a lawyer. He will help deal with this problem.
3. Drug addiction. You must understand that over time such a person will become an antisocial person and can harm your health and financial well-being.
4. Physical violence . You are risking not only your health, but also your life, as well as the mental health of your children, if any.
5. Moral terror. A man can keep his hands to himself, not drink alcohol, but at the same time constantly insult and humiliate his wife. This leads to the fact that a woman’s self-esteem is greatly reduced, an inferiority complex develops, and psychosomatic diseases can also develop. And, if this happens in front of children, then they also develop mental problems.
6. My husband is cheating. If this happened once, then perhaps it makes sense to save the family. If this happens all the time, then there is no need to follow your husband’s lead and end all relations with him.
7. Cannot support his family financially. A man who does not want to go to work is content with the fact that the woman supports him herself.

Why is a woman afraid of getting a divorce?

Sometimes life develops in such a way that a girl does not know what to do, get a divorce or save her family. Such doubts may be caused by one of the following reasons.

1. Hope that the spouse can change. Your endless attempts to impose your model of behavior on your spouse cause scandal, irritation, and ultimately end in divorce.
2. Fear of loneliness. This is familiar to women who have low self-esteem. Such a young lady will endure for many years only because she is sure that “nobody needs her anymore.” It is possible that it will be her husband who will convince her of this, which will further deepen her fear. In such a situation, psychologists advise starting to treat yourself differently, starting to respect yourself, and trying to become independent. You must be prepared for the fact that immediately after the divorce you will actually have to be alone. But this will allow you to take a break and live for yourself.
3. If she has a child together, she is afraid that she will not be able to raise him herself. A woman may worry that she will not be able to replace both father and mother for the baby. May worry about the possible negative impact on the child’s psyche.
4. Financial insolvency can also slow down the divorce process. The woman is worried that she will not be able to live without her husband. In such a situation, you need to try to get back on your feet, find a promising job, or, if the situation with your husband is absolutely critical, enlist the support of family and friends who will help you financially at first.
5. Habit. Sometimes we get used to the person who is nearby, which prevents us from making a decision about divorce. In such a situation, a woman will forgive a lot only because her partner has become a loved one to her. The right decision in such a situation would be to break up while maintaining a good relationship.
6. Fear of being judged by loved ones and relatives. A woman can be very dependent on other people's opinions. In such a situation, you need to think about yourself, and not about someone, because it is you who live with this person, and not your friends or parents.

A woman should not be afraid of divorce. You need to realize that the end of an old relationship will definitely lead to the beginning of a new one.

What to do if you have children

A woman who is planning to divorce must take into account a number of points if there is a child in the family. Let's look at how to behave in such a situation.

1. You shouldn't try to save your family just for the sake of the children. Children are quite sensitive and will sense an abnormal atmosphere. The baby will not grow up happy.
2. Regardless of the child’s age, you need to talk to him. You must convey to him that sometimes moms and dads break up. It is important that the baby understands that he was not the reason for the breakup, that they will not love him less, and that he will continue to be able to spend time with his dad.
3. If the divorce is planned due to strong betrayal or because the husband gave up, or offended you in some other way, there is no need to focus the child’s attention on this. In general, you should not humiliate or insult the father in the presence of the baby. This can negatively affect the psyche of both girls (may be afraid to build a personal life) and boys (may grow up with a strong sense of insecurity and self-isolation).
4. Children cannot be prevented from visiting their father.
5. Don’t try to make a scandal or announce your intention to divorce if the children are around.
6. There is no need to give up on yourself and start living only for the sake of your children. Life does not stop after divorce, you still deserve to find your happiness.

How to report correctly

Often a woman who is thinking about divorce does not know how to tell her husband about it. The situation can be aggravated if your spouse loves you very much. When a woman expresses her desire to the man who loves her, she breaks his heart.

1. Think about what you can say to your spouse. Write down the approximate speech on a piece of paper. Re-read it. Make sure everything is worded correctly. Don't forget to indicate the reasons why you made this decision.
2. It is important to remain calm during a conversation. Do not raise your voice, even if your spouse begins to make trouble.
3. Give thanks for the years you have lived. Convince him that you need to go your own way further.
4. If you have firmly made your decision, do not give in to your husband’s persuasion. You don’t agree to save your family out of pity or guilt.
5. Even if your spouse is to blame for your desire to divorce, then you should not express this to him, speak in a calm voice, and do not blame your husband.
6. Your task is to try to separate amicably and maintain normal relations. Especially if you have children together.
7. If the husband is a tyrant or mentally unstable, then it is better to report the news either in the presence of people or at a distance, having first left the apartment, taking the children with him. But here it is important that he does not find you or that he provide security for himself. It will be difficult for such a person to come to terms with the fact that he is being abandoned, but it is easy to give up.

If a man is against

If the husband does not want to get a divorce, what to do in such a situation?

1. You will have to contact an experienced lawyer, in this case it is better to look for a woman.
2. First, have a consultation with her. The specialist will tell you how you can get a divorce, even if your spouse is against it.
3. You must be prepared for the fact that it will be extremely difficult to convince your husband of the need for a divorce, but even more difficult not to succumb to his persuasion and not break.
4. If there is such an opportunity, then immediately after making your decision, leave the house.

Possible legal consequences

When you decide to get a divorce, you need to take into account both the psychological component and the legal point of view in this matter. A woman must know and take into account the subtleties.

1. If you have an apartment and are worried about what will happen after the divorce. If it was acquired after the conclusion of the union, it should be divided equally. If it was purchased or left as an inheritance to a spouse before legal marriage, then you do not have any right to claim it. If the apartment belonged to you before marriage, then he has no right to claim your apartment. In some cases, a man does not apply for the division of an apartment if he wants to leave it for his children.
2. All joint property that has been acquired is divided in half.
3. If a loan was taken out but was not successfully repaid before the divorce, then the debt is divided equally, as is the subject of the loan itself.
4. If a woman remains with the children, then the man must begin to support them, paying alimony until they reach adulthood or finish their studies at a university in the amount of ¼ of their salary for one child, 1/3 for two, ½ for three children. A man can also pay a larger amount on his own initiative.

How to live on

Even if the wife initiated the separation, it will still be difficult for her to cope with the pain of loss. Let's look at how to get over a separation from your husband easier.

1. The best incentive to live on is children. You need to pay them more attention and give them your love. If you didn’t have time to have a child, you can get a pet and direct all your feelings towards it.
2. Analyze your past relationships, make sure that the decision was correct, and you will still meet your person.
3. Visit places with large crowds of people. Spend more time with your friends and loved ones, don't be alone with your thoughts.
4. Pamper yourself, visit a beauty salon, buy yourself new dresses, take up some hobby.
5. Plan your future, set new goals for yourself.
6. There is no need to accumulate negativity in yourself, think positively, Life goes on.
7. If you can’t cope on your own, go to a psychotherapy session.

Before telling your husband about your desire to divorce, you need to think carefully about the correctness of your decision. Don’t forget that you once chose this person as your partner. Perhaps everything can still be fixed and there is no need to hack from the shoulder. If the reasons are really serious, then you should not maintain such a relationship for the sake of the children or for fear of loneliness.

Divorce is stressful, to say the least. Most women do not want to divorce their husbands even if married life has become unbearable. Most people have thought about divorce at least once during their marriage. For some it is a constant threat, for others it is the only hope. If you avoid the thought of divorce or think about it every day, this article will help you figure it out.

When talking about divorce, people fear the following:

• Responsibility for children is completely shifted onto the shoulders of the mother. Not wanting to feel guilty for taking the children’s father away, the woman tolerates her husband’s presence until the last moment.
• Relatives, not knowing the true circumstances in the family, often take the husband’s side. Thus, the woman is left without the support of loved ones, which leads to doubts and erroneous conclusions about her actions.
• Material support is one of the main obstacles to separation. Especially when the wife is fully supported by the husband. In this case, the stress is double. Although for those who are tired of indecision and a boring existence, on the contrary, finding a job becomes an opportunity for self-realization.
• Loneliness and fear, which causes psychological discomfort. The lady needs to come to terms with the idea that she now has a new status - “single woman”. For many this is very unpleasant.

Naturally, there are purely individual reasons why a young lady prefers a bad marriage to calm loneliness. But there are times when breaking up is simply necessary. Otherwise, living together threatens to undermine the physical and psychological health of a beautiful person.

Good reasons

The first step in the divorce process is probably the most difficult step you will take: making the decision at all. How do you understand that you need to divorce your husband?

Alcohol and drug addiction of the spouse

These are the most compelling reasons, because dependent individuals over time become asocial, degrade and lose all ability to perform family functions. You definitely need to think about the offspring - what are you dooming them to by forcing them to see their father in an inadequate state almost every day?

Physical violence

Does he hit you, does he love you? Do not make me laugh. There is no such good reason in the world why a husband could raise his hand against his chosen one. The sooner the breakup happens, the better for your health and life.

Moral pressure, despotism

It is not known what is worse - physical violence or daily moral abuse. If a companion constantly insults, humiliates, ignores, then over time the passion will turn into one continuous lump of disease. By mocking, the partner destroys the self-esteem of the other half, cultivates inferiority complexes, which leads to psychosomatic disruptions. The child (if there is one), seeing how the father treats the mother, develops his own complexes and problems with relationships in the future.

Constant betrayals

Should we turn a blind eye to betrayal? If adultery happened once, and if the companion sincerely repents, it is necessary. And if infidelity occurs openly and is accompanied by complete disregard for the lawful companion, why endure it?

Laziness and unwillingness to provide for the family

Yes, anyone can find themselves without a job at some point in their life. This can be understood. But how do you understand a person who does not want to go to work and lives completely calmly on his companion’s finances? Is this a reason for divorce?

Attention: these tips should be taken into account by those wives who do not face the compelling reasons for breaking up listed above.

How to decide on divorce? Psychologists have one wonderful technique that is designed specifically for analyzing confusing situations. Especially in cases where feelings say one thing, and the mind says another.

The technique is called “Cartesian Questions,” which sound something like this:

1. What happens if you do this? (Answer simply).
2. What won't happen if you do this? This question is designed to identify “secondary benefits.” That is, with the help of the answer you can determine the advantages of the current situation and the advantages that there is a risk of losing when achieving a new result.
3. What won't happen if you don't do it? Here the left hemisphere of the brain falls into a stupor. But if you try to look for the answer, a person can avoid the usual conscious thinking and use other neural channels of the brain. Simply put, you will think about a known situation in a new way. This process helps in realizing those values ​​and inner strengths that were previously unknown to you. Therefore, here I would like to wish to seek the answer using intuition, but not logic.
4. What happens if you don't? This highlights the price you will pay if you continue to live your life as before. Or you realize that parting will be a step forward for you, an incentive that will change your life for the better.

Choices

Important: beforehow to decide to divorce your husband, a woman needs to look inside her soul, turn to her values,Ask yourself how well your current situation satisfies your deepest needs.

Often, when thinking about whether to get a divorce, a lady puts her financial situation first. Many women have an insoluble dilemma - material or mental comfort.

There are only two ways out here. The first is that a beautiful person takes responsibility for her life, becomes independent and financially independent. That is, she chose love and sincerity over money.

The second is that a person chooses money and comfort, but is forced to adapt and endure, depriving herself of full emotional living. Is it necessary to suffer so much if there is only one life and it is better not to observe it, but to live it?

Expectations and reality

After a thorough approach to the previous questions and answers, you may be surprised to find that it is possible to eliminate the interfering factors in your marital life, as well as to achieve your goals, without a breakup. Because the bulk of the positive factors that a person strives for are already present in life, he just doesn’t see them.

While you have not yet decided to divorce your husband completely, there is a chance for a new start. Just to get started, there is no need to radically change your partner. Just change your point of view. If you have reached such a realization, then grab the chance and change yourself while you are still close to your former companion. Because with a new one you will be forced to start all over again. And there is no guarantee that the new option will be better.

Keep in mind that another person may not be found. Especially when a woman’s demands are too high, and among the stronger sex there are very few ideal ones. Psychologists advise becoming a philosopher - sorting out expectations and possibilities. Also believe in yourself, no matter what awaits you at the finish line.

So, what does a lady expect when she is ready to decide to divorce her husband? Of course, subconsciously she expects only one thing - a happy ending:

• The partner will get scared, correct himself, rethink, weigh and quickly begin to do what is expected of him.
• The lady will get rid of her annoying partner.
• Fate will immediately bring you together with a new passion.

But let’s return to reality and see how monstrously further events can disappoint a person:

• The partner does not show any reaction and acts in the same “disgusting” way.
• The partner reacts, but by committing inappropriate actions. They don’t fit into the plan you’ve developed at all, and the loneliness and other “benefits” that appear in connection with the breakup are even more annoying than the previous problems. So, the lady falls into a zone of doubt and begins to want to turn back time - so that all this would not happen at all.
• Fate turned out to be cruel and did not give a chance for a bright future, or the chance was received, but spoiled by the same scenario.

So, sometimes a person is left empty-handed and a lonely soul. And complete despair sets in when he realizes that his expectations were naive and stupid.

If your thoughts have not led to a final result, then think about this. Both young and old, a married couple is connected by one very important thing - spiritual relationships. Proper communication, trust and intimacy play a huge role not only in bed, but also in spirit. If, when thinking about whether to divorce or not, you have not found anything like that in your relationship, then there is no point in living together. The couple will feel sadness and loneliness with each other.

Signs that a breakup is near

The couple feels the inevitable approach of a breakup intuitively. Sometimes this is determined by certain signs that are a warning. There are many cases where one of the couple sensed a coming storm, but did not have enough reason to explain what was happening.

The first signal is limited communication between people. The partner suddenly becomes withdrawn, immersed in his personal experiences and does not want to share with his other half. Of course, such behavior is also characteristic of a man in case of problems at work or with health (men's diseases, for example). Therefore, the situation here still needs to be clarified, and isolation does not mean that you should get a divorce.

But if a storm is indeed approaching, then the development scenario is more or less clear. After immersing himself in himself, the husband becomes more “cold” with his passion:

• Denies physical intimacy.
• When any signs of attention are shown on the part of the wife, the husband becomes indignant, irritated and even behaves aggressively.
• Tries to independently (without asking your opinion) solve everyday important issues.
• Attempts to ask where the husband was, how the day went and why he was late for dinner, are followed by the reaction - “my personal affairs do not concern you.”

This stage has already been significantly advanced. It is, of course, possible to return the relationship to its former course, but it will not be very easy. After all, the spouses behave like almost strangers.

But what to do if you want to save the relationship? In this situation, go to a psychologist. Although, it happens that when one partner cools down, the other does the same. And this happens on its own. But there is also a plus here - the decision to break up will be thoughtful, balanced and mutual.

It is very difficult for a woman to make the decision to divorce. A woman takes her marriage very seriously and making the decision to get a divorce causes her more stress.

Divorce from your husband becomes a real drama. This step changes a woman’s entire life.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t decide - how to understand myself?

“I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t decide”

And then another lady ran away from her husband. I escaped from grievances, broken expectations, claims and a meaningless existence together. She left as if from a battlefield, turning her family life into a battlefield.

For the first few days, the woman feels a sense of lightness, because she so wanted to leave her husband who she no longer loves. These sensations are similar to the situation when you are carrying heavy bags and when you carry them and throw them off you feel relief.

But these sensations overwhelm a person only at first. Then throwing occurs. The woman understands that she has not solved her problem in this relationship. Because of this, she begins to look for a new man. If such a person is found, then with a 90% probability life with him will follow the same scenario. Each author has one style.

Don't be surprised by this. This is not happening because of men.

Every man is a normal potential husband with whom you can start a family.

Any man can be accepted and respected. Every family has internal resources with which to work.

When people agree to marry unprepared, they turn into blind kittens who share the cat's milk among themselves. If you look at the situation consciously, you can always find a choice and solution.

But a woman stubbornly lives the same experience, tries to change her partner, wants him to dance to her tune.

All this is written to the effect that indecisiveness in making a decision indicates that you are acting as in the example. You want to abandon a sinking ship, instead of starting to patch holes in it and reconstruct it.

If you do not agree with this, then answer the question: “Have you done everything in your power to develop your family?” If the answer is no, then look for something you haven't done that you could.

Everyone experiences moments of crisis, but some run to get divorced, while others look for a way out of the situation and become happy.

But there are also situations in which divorce becomes the most optimal solution. Then the woman answers the previous question in the affirmative. Yes, I did everything in my power. If yes did not sound, and the desire to do something did not arise, then this is pure flight. From your fears, expectations, from your husband, from yourself.

When a woman uses the escape model, future men will be even worse than previous ones. This is how nit-picking, claims, and inflated demands on all men arise. Such a woman will be surrounded by those whom she most does not want to accept. This is due to the fact that she does not see others, everyone by default becomes not as they should be.

That's why it's worth doing everything that depends on you for the relationship. When a person does this, the thought of wanting to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind, disappears and the final decision comes.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind - why are women afraid of divorce?

“I want to divorce my husband”

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind; there are many hidden fears and doubts that keep a woman from making a decision. Because of fears, a woman is forced to continue living with a man for years.

Fear of the future of children. When there is a child in the family, this complicates the process of making such a fundamental decision. If a woman is only carrying a child under her heart, divorce is even more frightening.

Being with her husband, even an alcoholic, a woman thinks that the two of them can better provide for the child than she can. After the divorce, she will become a single mother with a child in her arms.

A pregnant woman feels twice as vulnerable and defenseless.
Where can I get money to live on? This question tickles the nerves of many women who want a divorce. If a woman is used to her husband regularly bringing at least some money, but she herself did not work, then the fear will be ten times greater.
Fear of judgment. A woman may be afraid that others may not understand her decision to divorce. The opinion of others is so important for some women that because of it they are ready to endure life with an unloved husband.
Fear of loneliness. A woman may think that when she divorces her husband, she will never meet anyone else. Because of this, she can continue to live with her husband.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind – What decision should I make?

All patience comes to an end. Women who cannot decide on divorce are champions here. But is it worth enduring if you can change your destiny once and for all?

It’s easier to endure, because we remain in a state of victimhood; this is very convenient for women. All responsibility is by default shifted to the husband, and the woman proudly bears the image of a sufferer.

Instead of making some decision, instead of building their happiness with their own hands, women continue to say, I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t decide. They scold their husbands, because it’s all their fault.

This is the position of a child and it doesn’t make it any easier for anyone. So what frightens you more is the fear of loneliness, the fear of the future, or the opportunity to take your destiny into your own hands.

We often hear from women: “I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind,” and no one goes further than this.

They remain unhappy wives and torment their husbands with this.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind - When should I think again?
"divorce from husband"

To make a decision about divorce, it is important to know whether this decision will be wrong. Divorce is the collapse of a relationship, divorce will definitely affect your destiny.

And the reasons for divorce must be serious. But first, let’s look at those cases in which there is no need to rush to divorce your husband.

You have a lover. It happens that even the most devoted wives have affairs. What to do if you are overwhelmed by romantic feelings associated with another man.

Even if it seems to you that a new romance is the most serious relationship in your life, and your marriage is withering against the background of these experiences, do not rush. The female sex is easily led by emotions. If you don’t want to be broke, then take your time. There are stories of hundreds of women who left their husbands and went to a new lover, but returned to their husbands a month later.

The wisdom of a woman is that she will not run to another, but will find in her husband all the qualities that she lacks in him for complete happiness.

Resentment towards husband. Resentment and conflicts are common reasons for divorce. But conflict situations are an everyday matter. Is it worth ruining everything because of misunderstandings and guesswork? Maybe we need to start by learning to listen to each other and not hurt each other. Women are good at blaming their husbands and not analyzing their own mistakes. Therefore, because of everyday nonsense, they begin to think about divorce.

If you and your husband have obvious misunderstandings, conflicts and complaints, think better about what you can do to change this.

Don't know how? Make an appointment with a family psychologist, after all. If you do not learn to regulate conflicts, then there is a high probability that quarrels and curses will be repeated in future relationships.

Feelings gone. At the beginning of the relationship with my husband there was passion and positivity, now it has become boring, you are increasingly resorting to the idea that I don’t love my husband anymore. This may be due to a crisis in the relationship.

Attachment, habit, everyday life - all couples go through this. If you want to again feel all those emotions that were at the beginning of your relationship, start working on it with your husband. Falling in love with your husband again means falling in love with him again.

It is in your power to start looking at your husband in a new way and rekindle the flame of love.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind - In what cases is divorce necessary?

There are situations in which divorce is necessary. And here all doubts should be left behind.

The husband abuses alcohol or drugs. Strangely enough, only a few women leave such husbands. This is a real tragedy for the family. But the chemical dependence of the husband gives rise to the psychological dependence of the wife. The woman believes that she is obliged to save her husband, but in the end she and the children suffer. You need to leave such husbands.
The husband is a tyrant. Domestic violence is ingrained in the lives of many families. Violence is not only physical acts, it is also constant psychological pressure. If your husband constantly humiliates and insults you, uses physical force, then run away from him, do not tolerate this in the hope that he will improve.

My husband has a mistress. Women suffer and suffer greatly from the fact of betrayal. The husband goes to his mistress, he may not even hide it, and you still say, I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind.

Stop guessing and start making decisions. Just because you delay your decision, he will not stop cheating on you.
He sits on your neck. If you have become the only breadwinner of the family, and your husband is not able to lift a finger, then, of course, this is a disaster. First of all, for you. Everything probably suits him. A man without a goal is like a suitcase without a handle. You and him definitely have different paths.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t decide - the pros and cons of divorce

Possible disadvantages:

1) Damaged self-esteem.

Women have a hard time with a breakup, this is due to many fears that overwhelm them at this moment. All this together negatively affects women's self-confidence.

2) The child’s loss of an important parental resource.

Strong adults in a child's life are very important. When a child does not have one of his parents in his life, he is deprived of support and confidence in his abilities. A child becomes a strong personality in a strong and strong family.

3) Self-blame and depression.

Women tend to go through a divorce for a long time, regret what they have done, and ask themselves what if we had not gotten a divorce. A man experiences divorce more easily. It is not difficult for him to find a new companion.

It is more difficult for a woman to cope with this.

The other side of the coin says that if you realized that you cannot be happy in your relationship with your husband, you did everything to develop it, but in the end you got nothing, then divorce opens up continuous prospects for both personal growth and new successful relationships.

I want to divorce my husband, but I can’t make up my mind - advice from a psychologist will help me make a decision

Michaela

My name is Michaela, I am 26 years old, married for 4 years, two children - one is 3 years old, the second is 1 month old.
I have problems in my relationship with my husband. In my opinion, they arose after my husband’s betrayal (2 years ago), and in my husband’s opinion even earlier. We quarrel so much and can’t stand each other, although he sometimes says that he loves me, but I don’t believe him. It seems to me that it would be better for us to get a divorce, but I can’t decide to take this step because of the children. The eldest son loves him the most.

Michaela, Michaela, hello!
Please tell me why you quarrel with your spouse?
Do you love your husband?
Who from your loved ones helps you with your children?
I advise you to read about
What would you like to receive as a result of the consultation?

Michaela

I’ve been thinking this way for two years now :))) but I kept waiting for something to change in our relationship. We sleep in different rooms and quarrel. We have different views on life. I want to go and live in England, but he wants to live in Russia.

There have been no feelings for a long time, although my husband sometimes says that he loves me, but this is not true. Before the betrayal, my husband behaved very kindly with me, we did a lot together, etc... I don’t see why we should be together except for the kids. But can I tolerate him all my life... I don’t know.

Sometimes it seems to me that there is something wrong with his head. He climbs into other people's bags, into his mother's, and checks how much money everyone has. Sometimes he hides food (sweets).

Mikhaela,

I’ve been thinking this way for two years now :))) but I kept waiting for something to change in our relationship. We sleep in different rooms and quarrel. We have different views on life. I want to go and live in England, but he wants to live in Russia.

The decision to break up is a very serious decision for which you should prepare and choose the right moment for yourself (even if you have already finally decided everything for yourself).
And very often the solution matures as you prepare for it.
How can you prepare for a breakup?
First, you should think about what the pros and cons are in your life now, and what the pros and cons may be in your life without a husband. Moreover, it is better to compare the pros with the pros, and the cons with the cons. Otherwise you may get even more confused.
But even if everything in this comparison is obvious to you, this usually does not mean that you can break up right tomorrow.
BREAKING UP is a process. You should prepare for it like you would for moving to another country. That is, approach this rationally and carefully: accumulate strength and resources, seek help and support in advance, etc.

Michaela

I don't depend on my husband. My mother supports us. I also live in my own house. I'm just confused. When he behaves normally, he doesn’t seem to want to get a divorce. And when we quarrel and he insults me and my loved ones, I want to kick him out!

And also this paranoia of mine to always suspect him of cheating... I don’t trust him and will never be able to. And he is going to leave for Moscow to earn money.

Michaela, you can start moving in one direction: either improve the relationship or break up. If as you move you experience more positive emotions, then most likely you have chosen the right direction.
Sometimes it happens that different life circumstances help you make a decision. Therefore, it is important to observe your loved one, his actions, as well as yourself, your feelings in relation to these actions.
Any vital decision does not tolerate fuss.

Michaela

Hello, I feel very bad, lonely, and always want to cry... My mother left and had a huge fight with her husband. He stated that either everything would be as he wanted or he would leave. Of course, dad and I don’t agree with him, I even asked him to leave because I was very tired of quarrels and demands.

I and even my parents also noticed that he does or says a lot and then doesn’t remember.

My heart is very heavy because my mother left and now there is no one to take care of the senior rank.

Michaela, hello.
You are going through a really difficult period right now. You just need to experience it.
Usually the turning point in a relationship is difficult. It's hard to make a decision, it's hard to take the first step. But as soon as the first step is taken, relief gradually comes. (This is provided that you have started moving in the right direction for yourself). Temporarily, sadness and sadness may return, but it is obvious that life is beginning to unfold in a more comfortable direction.
Think again about what or who can help you at this stage of your life. It is very important. These are additional resources that will greatly help you get through such a difficult period in life.

Michaela

I just can't decide which direction to move in. Establishing relationships means being an exemplary wife for a less than exemplary husband, pretending that everything suits me, etc... I already did this after my husband’s betrayal in order to get him back. I thought that he would try too. But I was wrong. It turned out that my parents and I should respect and listen to him as a king.

I just can't respect my husband. Since our marriage, my mother has been supporting us, this is humiliating for me, and it’s not even enough for him. He's 40 years old!!! When I gave birth to Pergogo, he left for half a year to earn money in his city. Although I asked to come to him, he did not allow me. He never sent me any money, sold all my gold and everything valuable I had there and took a mistress. And when I arrived I even helped pay for the apartment in which he lived :)))).

Now I have given birth again, he is going to leave again. Boomerang.

Michaela

Hello, everything is very difficult, we can’t talk to my husband normally at all. Although I thought about improving the relationship, I can’t, I just can’t. For example, I ask him to move the table and from here a quarrel begins in world 20. We try to avoid each other. I walk for hours, he spends hours on the Internet.
He wants sex, but I don’t want it at all, never! How can I make him understand this?

Michaela

I think I know what my problem is. They tried to rape me twice as a child. I only enjoyed sex with one man and for a very long time. I married my husband because I trusted him, and not because of my feelings. When he betrayed me, changed me, the trust was gone forever. And now I live with him because of the children, because I think that there is no happy marriage, I cannot be happy with anyone, and I love my children more than life itself.
Tell me, am I right?

Mikhaela, hello.
Injuries that occurred a long time ago can reverberate throughout your life. This applies to both physical and psychological injuries.

now I live with him because of the children because I think that there is no happy marriage, I can’t be happy with anyone

I don’t think that being categorical can help you forget about injuries.
Usually this only leads to restrictions and deteriorates the quality of life.
In psychology, there are various techniques that help cope with the negative consequences of mental trauma.
One way is to acquire new, constructive, positive experiences.
Think about everything again.

I have known my wife for 6 years, married for 1 year. Recently, conflicts have become more frequent (once a week or two). Due to the fact that her life is “boring, tedious and uninteresting (an exact copy of her words)” and plus she has a lot of problems. I’ll start from the beginning - I’m 26, she’s 24. We’re from different cities, when we met, she was studying at a high school, I was graduating from university. After studying, I went to the family business (and I’m still in it), she moved in with me (I lived with my parents then), and worked for half a year “for my uncle.” After she was left without a salary a couple of times, we decided that we needed to leave. After half a year, I helped her open her own business, and helped her throughout her entire career, sometimes even to the detriment of her business. When I had free time, I definitely had to go to her work; if it turned out that I was at home and did not stop by her, then there would definitely be a scandal. One day my father came home “out of sorts, under a date” (I was not at home), and began to pester his wife (he insistently demanded to go have tea with him (sometimes he has a “lack of communication”)). The wife refused and they had a fight. After that I had to rent an apartment (we still rent). When she had her own business, she didn’t see anything or anyone around, the main thing for her was her clients, because of whom we didn’t sleep (or we sat with her until midnight making orders or she was nervous all night - “what will happen?” Tomorrow"). I even prepared for the wedding practically myself, looking for free time from work and “get-togethers at her work.” Having summed up the results (out of 9 months of work, only one +200 UAH was profitable, the rest of the time I added from my own pocket), I persuaded my wife to wind down the business. We decided to plan for children (she has minor health problems). We decided that there was no point in going to work for her, because she would be nervous, and this cannot be done during pregnancy. The preparation took about 6 months, we have been trying for 4 months... And over the last six months we have had scandals. Some of the most important reasons:

1. She sits at home all day, and all she does is watch TV (she’s bored). 2. There are no friends with whom we could relax, her classmates are in other cities, she doesn’t like mine, and she doesn’t like meeting new ones. 3. I don’t have a standardized schedule, sometimes I can stay at work until late or go to work on weekends, and resentment also begins. Either because of work our plans are disrupted, then everything is HANA.4. She doesn't know what she wants. She always complains that she has gained weight (and hinting that I am to blame), I suggested that she go to the gym (she refused, because there was no point in going for 2 months), I bought exercise equipment for home - it’s still not the same.5. When we are getting ready to go somewhere, and she can’t do her hair, again she gets insulted at me (like I’m not doing anything). During our quarrel, I get bombarded with: Fuck off, fuck off, you creature, scum, and a bunch of other things like that, In response, during the whole time I only shouted at her a couple of times (once I said shut your mouth (it made me very angry, I couldn’t stand it)). For all 6 years, she never apologized first (several times, after a quarrel, she said that she did not want to say such words). Moreover, she almost always tries to leave the apartment (especially in the evening, at night), and I stop her, knowing that she has nowhere to go (and she knows). And so on in a circle. Sometimes I get the impression that what she has left is not love for me, but a desire not to return home (everyone is always fighting there, she can’t eat there). Sometimes in a conversation (with friends) the words “I will never return home” fly through her mind. And during the last quarrels, I have thoughts about divorce! So what to do?