Nowadays, company management often decides to get rid of middle-level managers with large salaries and hire in his place someone from the ordinary employees of the department, but for less money. The newly appointed boss has to deal with the fact that his subordinates do not perceive him as a leader.
Employees pat you on the shoulder and don't take you seriously. How to establish distance with employees?
1. Show that you value your employees
If you have not yet had time to inform the team about your appointment, then you can easily combine this with a small feast. You need to start distancing yourself from your subordinates, paradoxically, by jointly celebrating your appointment. But this cannot be turned into a powerful drinking binge with the obligatory fall into sin. The maximum that can be placed on the table is a bottle of champagne. Better yet, limit yourself to tea. This event should be held in your office, at the meeting table. In this way, you will show that from now on your relationship with the team at work will become more official and familiarity in them will simply be inappropriate.
You must deliver a heartfelt speech. Talk about how happy you are. That an excellent team of highly qualified specialists has gathered around you. That you understand and accept the entire burden of responsibility that falls on you. That you need help and support from former colleagues. Never put yourself above others. Don’t say, “Finally, I’m appreciated. I have no doubt that I will be an excellent leader." Do not cause aggression and feelings of envy with your fiery speech - perhaps one of your subordinates also applied for this position and dreamed of it.
Remind them that you are now responsible for the results of the entire department. Subordinates are required to perform their direct duties in a timely manner. And use the fact that until recently you were at the same career level as an additional incentive: if you work with full dedication, you will also deserve a promotion.
2. Talk to everyone privately
Your advantage as a manager is that you know the internal atmosphere in the department very well. Who is friends with whom, who dislikes whom, this is your leverage over the team. Talk personally to each employee and find out what they would like to receive from you. We are talking not only about wages, but also about all sorts of useful little things, for example, the reorganization of some areas of work.
You yourself, being a simple worker, knew what needed to be changed and improved. Now you have this opportunity. Eliminate those things in work that irritated the entire team. This will show that you are a real leader, and your subordinates will begin to treat you with respect.
3. Use formalities and conventions
If a person is not used to addressing you as a boss and continues to communicate in a familiar manner, you need to wean him off this. Invite him to your place only through your secretary. If he suddenly has a brilliant idea, ask him to express it in writing.
A good way to show that you and your former colleagues are now separated by a step in the hierarchical ladder would be to address them as “you,” by their first name or patronymic name. Of course, such actions on your part may irritate some employees. In this case, explain to them one on one that this is a forced measure and it was your subordinates themselves who pushed you towards it with their familiarity. Make it clear that you will cancel it as soon as the pat on the shoulder stops.
4. Stretch your arms
The “arm's length” rule will help you to distance yourself from your subordinates. Do not talk about work when coming closer than arm's length - approximately 60 centimeters. It would also be good to resolve all issues not in the corridor or by approaching the employee, but by inviting him to your office. Place him on the opposite side of the table.
By doing this, you will demonstrate your distance, will not offend the person, and will also protect yourself from friendly hugs and slaps on the back.
5. Don't be afraid of tough measures
Perhaps everything will be fine, and you will immediately be able to distance yourself from your former colleagues to the required distance. But problems may arise. Some of the subordinates may consider themselves more worthy for this position. You need to have a conversation with such a rebel and, if he does not give up his intentions, get rid of him. Such a decision will immediately show that you are a manager who is responsible for the performance of the entire department. You will prove that you are capable of making decisions that are not very pleasant for your subordinates, but effective for the company.
6. Request written reports.
Setting tasks, at least at first, should be done in writing. On paper or by email, it doesn’t matter. The main thing is that it will help you answer the question: “When will you finish work?” avoid answers: “Oh, I didn’t understand the task correctly” or “I thought we were supposed to finish everything only next week.”
Don't be afraid to take decisive action. If a person deserves a reprimand, do not hesitate to announce it. Now it is important for you to show that you are no longer the “Vanka” with whom, instead of working, you could sit at the end of the day over a glass of beer and chat. You take care of the performance of the entire department, and it is you who are responsible for disruptions and downtime.
Remember that after hours you are still their friend. It’s just that now, from 9 to 18, you all have to work and live according to the strict rules of the office.
Andrey Kurtsev
Based on materials from Trud
Of course, you have noticed that from the point of view of relationships with others, there are two types of people: those who brighten up any company, with whom it is interesting and fun, and those who are little respected by the people around them. Why does this happen and how to communicate so that you are respected? Start changing yourself, rather than changing others, and then, over time, respect will come and you will improve your relationships with others.
If you want to feel full of vitality, emotionally stable and gain respect, you must first know yourself. Knowing yourself will help you build relationships with others based on trust, love and respect, and common goals.
The beauty of the mind evokes wonder, the beauty of the soul evokes respect.
Bernard le Beauvier de Fontenelle
1. Learn to listen to others.
Wait for your turn to speak, do not limit the other person’s desire to communicate with you, do not interrupt him when he is telling you something, even if you are not interested.
You can skillfully change the topic, but do not abruptly cut off your interlocutor mid-sentence.
This bad habit has ruined the lives of more than one person. If you have one, then fight it.
43. Take up more space.
An insecure person is revealed by his modest location in space. He sits on the edge of the chair, tries not to disturb anyone, his elbows are pressed, his legs are crossed under the chair.
Remember how you behave in pleasant company. And try to take the same poses.
44. Maintain your posture and gesticulate less.
If you are a leader, then this should be your first rule. After all, a boss should look like a boss—seriously, personably and boldly.
45. Be sincere.
Even if you need to embellish something to make the right impression, don't do it. This will give you a bad reputation.
46. Don't promise what you can't deliver.
Keep your word always and everywhere. Otherwise, you can be branded as a talker.
In any work process, there are moments when your help may be needed. This is fine. But when helping your colleagues, don't do it too emotionally.
Such complete dedication may look like sycophancy to some people. And others may feel that you consider them incompetent employees or simply stupid people. After all, only small children who don’t know how to do anything are so joyfully helped.
47. Learn to refuse tactfully - so as not to offend the person
After all, due to the fact that it is inconvenient to say “no”, you may not have time to complete the task assigned to you. Politely apologize or offer to help after you've done what your boss told you to do. Read also: How to learn to say “no” - learning to refuse correctly.
If you are a leader, it is very important to learn how to protect your subordinates and defend their interests. This does not mean that you will constantly indulge them. This means that you think about them, create better working conditions for them. Show you care from the first day of work!
48. Work conscientiously.
If the newcomer is lazy, then the entire team understands that the unfulfilled volumes will fall on their shoulders. And no one wants to overexert themselves.
49. Always learn.
Develop as a specialist, a leader and simply as a person. There is no limit to perfection, and your desire to grow will be appreciated.
Who is friends with whom, what are the conversations about, what kind of people are here.
51. Don't gossip.
Every team has gossipers. You shouldn’t join them, but you shouldn’t wage war with them either. Because either way you will lose.
The best option is to listen to the person and leave under a good excuse. Under no circumstances should you discuss the news you hear with anyone. After all, the ideal way to combat gossip is to completely ignore it.
52. Participate in collective life - it strengthens the team.
If everyone is going to a restaurant, a theater, a movie, or a community cleanup, go with them.
53. Don’t try to please everyone - it’s impossible.
Be yourself. Because individuals with their own opinions and way of thinking are valued everywhere.
54. Know how to enjoy the successes of other people. This emphasizes your friendliness.
55. Take criticism adequately
You need to listen to her, and if you do not agree, calmly express your opinion. But don’t shout, don’t get personal, and don’t get offended.
56. Accept people for who they are
You should not impose your opinion, your ways of solving problems and organizing work moments. Everyone decides for themselves how to live and how to work.
57. Immediately determine who you report to.
And follow the instructions of only superior people. Since in almost any team there are those who like to boss around newcomers.
58. Try not to show excitement - breathe deeply when talking.
59. Don’t act like a know-it-all bore. The first few days, simplicity will not hurt.
60. Don't reveal yourself completely to your colleagues.
And this rule applies not only to beginners. Not everyone needs to know what problems you have at home, what your relationship with your husband and children is like.
Why wash dirty linen in public? There is a world into which there is no entry for outsiders. Let your colleagues know only about your marital status.
61. Don't engage in idle chatter in the workplace
The sad fact is that instead of completing assigned tasks, chatterboxes come to work just to chat. They try to fire these employees as soon as possible. Neither their bosses nor their colleagues like them.
62. Do your job well
In any field of activity, the most respected are those who are experts in their field. People love to give compliments to those who deserve them, such as those who always do a good job.
Just because you're new to the profession doesn't mean you don't deserve respect. It's always hard to start.
This came with experience and the realization that one must not stop on the path of self-improvement and this will bring the respect of others. This cannot be achieved in one evening, but if you gain people's respect, it will be for a long time.
63. Respect other people
Respect has two sides. If you want to be respected, you first need to learn to respect others.
If you constantly encounter people who treat you without respect, remember those you treated without respect. In any case, you will find at least one of these.
Instead of resenting how poorly people treat you, try to be nice to those you have treated poorly. This will help you improve your relationships with everyone around you. When someone behaves badly towards me, I remember who I behaved that way towards and then try to improve my relationship with that person. This leads to positive changes in my relationships with others.
64. Keep promises
Nobody likes dishonest and unreliable people. Someone who is honest with their interlocutors, someone who can be relied upon and whose promises can be trusted deserves respect. I believe that honesty is the first step to achieving your highest self.
I always think about whether I can keep a promise before I make it, and if I make it, I make sure to keep it. If for some reason you cannot fulfill your obligations, be sure to find someone who can do it for you.
65. Accept criticism
Contrary to popular belief, being a respected person does not mean not being criticized. In fact, everything is exactly the opposite.
The more people know you and your work, the more criticism you receive. People respect those who can take a negative assessment and bring something positive out of it.
66. Treat yourself with respect
It's funny, but many people expect other people to respect them, but they don't respect themselves. Have you ever scolded yourself for no reason? Do you love yourself completely and unconditionally? Are you exhausting yourself with lack of sleep, poor diet or something similar?
If you don't respect yourself, you can't expect other people to respect you. Start by treating yourself with love. And after self-love will come the love of others.
67. Act like a professional
This means dressing well, being well-mannered, speaking competently and following the rules of etiquette. If you don't know the rules of etiquette, you need to familiarize yourself with them. It will be useful to attend an etiquette class, even if you have a rough idea of what they teach.
When I was a student, I took several of these classes on wine tasting, table manners, first meeting behavior, and much more. I believe that they have benefited me. What is studied there is in no way higher mathematics, and what is learned helps in practice, when you know what can and cannot be done in a given situation.
68. Don't slander
It doesn’t matter in what field of activity - both in professional and social communication, do not speak badly about people. By backbiting you will not earn the respect of other people. If you have any complaints about a certain person or you don’t like what he/she is doing, talk to that person.
Don't say bad things about him/her behind his/her back because talking behind his/her back will lead to further gossip and innuendo. Whether you realize it or not, this will not only show the bad side of you, but will also hurt that person. Be honest and open with the people you interact with.
69. Stand up for your beliefs
Have you ever met people who, without thinking, easily agree with everything they are told? I have encountered such people, and in the end, their consent ceases to have any meaning.
Personally, I have more respect for someone who (politely) disagrees and stands up for their position than someone who always sings along to others.
Only by having your own opinion and thinking with your own head can you achieve the respect of those around you. Don't be afraid to stand up for your beliefs. At the same time, make sure that you do it politely and do not offend others.
70. Be yourself
It is always better to be the original of yourself than to be an exact likeness of someone else. People respect individuals who do not try to imitate anyone.
So many people try their best to be something they are not, and in the end they lose their identity. Find yourself, understand what you are. The world needs people who are themselves, not clones of each other.
71. Be an example for others
Actions speak louder than words. Do you set an example for others with your behavior? Do you adhere to established standards of behavior? Do you gain respect by backing your words with action?
A person who is respected by other people, by his personal example, pushes others to do good and right things.
Conclusion
If you have self-esteem, there is a very good chance that you want others to treat you with respect. It is clear that age is not a prerequisite or a magic key that can be used to open the box of respecting others when communicating with them. It all depends on how you behave, how you treat others and what actions you take.
Respect is earned by deeds, not acquired over the years.
Frank Lloyd Wright
In this article, we looked at ways to become a person who is respected by those around you when communicating with them. These tips are suitable for everyone, regardless of age and social status.
It is a necessary condition for a successful career. But not everyone succeeds in building such relationships: many employees complain about insufficient respect from management and do not always think about the fact that such respect must be earned.
Lack of respect from management is a fairly common problem. The reasons for such disrespect may be different, but the result is always the same: the employee develops self-doubt, self-esteem decreases, and mood deteriorates. To earn the favor of their superiors, employees are forced to make a lot of effort, but they are not always able to achieve what they want. Following a few rules will help with this.
Rule one. Increase self-esteem
With insufficient self-esteem and low self-esteem, it is almost impossible to earn the respect of other people. If you want to be appreciated by your manager, you need to start by increasing your own self-esteem. To do this, remind yourself of your education and work experience, remember your professional successes and career achievements, and formulate for yourself all your advantages and strengths of your character, as well as all those qualities that help you achieve success in life. Write it all down on a piece of paper and re-read your notes from time to time - in this case, you will know exactly why you respect yourself. This approach will help increase self-esteem and understand that you are truly worthy of respect from other people.
Rule two. Showcase your business skills
To earn your boss's respect, you need to show that you have business acumen. These include not only professional knowledge and work experience, but also labor discipline. Make it a rule to not be late for work, to be conscientious in your professional responsibilities, to submit all reports on time, to maintain normal business relationships with all colleagues, to respect yourself and others, and to do things that give you self-respect. You must learn to realistically assess your capabilities and only take on work that you can handle. This will avoid the manager's dissatisfaction if the task is not completed on time.
Rule three. Don't be overzealous
Each employee has a clear range of job responsibilities, so it is important to understand what is included in your immediate responsibilities and what is not included in them. If you do something beyond your responsibilities, you need to understand why you are doing it. To earn the respect of their manager, some employees begin to come to work on their own initiative before the start of the working day and stay late after work. This is wrong: the boss may perceive excessive zeal as an inability to complete the assigned work within the allotted time. You need to clearly know and observe all the boundaries of your professional duties and the boundaries of your personal responsibility. If there is a need to do something additional to your immediate work, this must be discussed with management and done only after approval from above. Remember: if you go beyond your responsibilities, you will violate the boundaries of other people's job responsibilities and, instead of respect, you will most likely feel dissatisfaction from both your superiors and your colleagues.
Rule four. Maintain normal business relationships not only with the boss, but also with ordinary employees
As a rule, relationships in modern work teams are purely business-like, so it is not always worth establishing friendly relations or relationships based on mutual assistance with colleagues. You should not replace each other at work on your own initiative, cover up a colleague’s lateness or absence, or do someone else’s work as “friendly” help. This method of communication is suitable for friends, but at work it can cause dissatisfaction with other employees and ultimately lead to conflict with the manager. Business relationships should be built on clear agreements with both management and colleagues. To do this, you need to clearly define the scope of your responsibilities and not violate its boundaries - this will help avoid awkward situations and improve the quality of work.
Rule five. Don't flatter your boss
To win the favor of the boss, some employees begin to flatter or fawn, forgetting about their own dignity and self-respect. But such obsequious behavior causes a completely opposite reaction and leads to disrespect or even contempt from management and hostility from colleagues.
Rule six. When communicating with your manager, strictly control your behavior
Remember that you can only criticize your boss in a one-on-one conversation, and you should praise or thank management only for specific things. In this case, criticism will be perceived as a business discussion, and gratitude will not be taken as flattery. If you want to convey your proposals or your position to your superiors, they need to be clearly justified and supported by facts. You can argue with the boss only at the stage of discussing the project, and when the manager has already made a decision and given an order to his subordinates, it is necessary to carry it out without any objections.
Rule seven. To be honest
A liar can never win the respect of other people. Always tell your boss the truth, even if you know it will make him unhappy or angry.
Rule eight. Don't make empty promises
Never make promises to your boss that you cannot keep. If you are unable to complete a job on time, it is better to communicate this in advance: this will help you maintain your dignity and avoid production problems in the future.
Rule nine. Remember that a leader is also a person
Don't be afraid to ask your boss for advice or discuss work issues with him. Constructive discussion of current issues will allow you to demonstrate your level of competence and will help strengthen the respect of your manager.
Rule ten. Don’t get upset if you can’t get your boss’s favor
Unfortunately, in some cases it is truly impossible to gain respect from your superiors. It is important to understand that lack of respect is not necessarily due to low competence or shortcomings of the employee. The reason may be something else. In such a situation, you can think about changing jobs: moving to another company where you will be appreciated will help maintain self-esteem.
