Psychology of beauty and attractiveness. Perceptions of beauty and attractiveness in men and women. Clothes as a way to make an impression

Every woman dreams of being beautiful, even if she doesn’t admit it to herself. Often we blame our appearance for failures, thinking that if we were slimmer, more beautiful, then everything in our life would turn out differently. It's a delusion. The desire to meet changing standards of beauty has never brought women either attractiveness or happiness. And each of us has probably wondered more than once why some simpleton enjoys incredible success with men, while the beauty is sad alone. And everything is very simple! You just need to remember that Beauty is not so much an impeccable appearance, but a state of mind, harmony of external appearance and a rich inner world, kindness, nobility, and also the ability to present oneself. This book is about how to become beautiful despite your unusual appearance.

What is beauty?

Surprisingly, but true - when we think that our life could have turned out differently, not the way it is now, better and more successful, then we consider the shortcomings of our appearance to be the main reason for our defeats and failures. If only I were slim, long-legged, with soft skin, lush hair and bright eyes, everything would have turned out differently for me - we tell ourselves, sadly ironing a pile of laundry in front of the TV. And the children would be smarter, and the husband would be more attentive, and there would be more money, and the work would be more interesting... Yes, everything, literally everything would be different!

It must be admitted that being an attractive woman is, without a doubt, both more pleasant and useful than being ugly. It is always a pleasure to help a beautiful woman, and if she is also smart, then it is more pleasant to work with her. But what is beauty? Just two hundred years ago, ladies, complaining about fate, blamed it on their thinness and tan, that is, they wanted the exact opposite of what modern women strive for. So it's a matter of some kind of standard.

The situation has been played out many times when the desire to follow an external standard does not bring either attractiveness or happiness. On the other hand, every woman at least once in her life has wondered: why is that simple girl so successful, and this fat woman has such a wonderful husband? But if you take a closer look at them, at these women, then for some reason, after some time of getting to know them, they seem beautiful, appropriate, and you want to be like them. And it is not so rare that after a short conversation with a beauty or a handsome man, it all somehow begins to irritate him, even the impeccability of his features.

Thus, we see that beauty standards are created by people. And the main thing we want to tell the reader:

How to love yourself

It seems to us that size four breasts or slender hips could automatically nullify all our complexes and fears, we would immediately overcome constraint and self-doubt and begin to openly and boldly build our lives.

But we completely forget about

that long legs and firm breasts alone have not made any woman happy

The way we look externally is nothing more than a reflection of our internal state - mood and well-being. And if well-being cannot be completely under control (although we must strive for this), then our mood is completely and completely subject to our will. Suppose this morning you feel unhappy and tired, it means that you allowed yourself to do this, allowed yourself to be in this state, and it is in your power to bring yourself back to normal.

Each woman is beautiful in her own way, each is worthy of attention and love. But not all representatives of the fair sex know about this. Some believe that they have a lot of physical disabilities, others think that they are poorly educated and it is not interesting to work with them, others imagine that they are unhappy and no one can help them. Sometimes it seems strange that a cheerful and not very attractive fat woman has many gentlemen and gets married successfully, while the unfortunate beauty spends dull evenings alone. And the whole point is that the fat woman has a twinkle in her eyes, she doesn’t worry about her appearance - and this is her beauty, for this she is loved and appreciated. And a beautiful, slender girl, meanwhile, cannot get rid of two extra centimeters on her hips and experiences terrible complexes because of this, believing that it is noticeable to everyone. Many “underground beauties” are brought up in strict traditions, and every man who pays attention to them is perceived as a demon-tempter, and therefore they run away from him without looking back. There are also such beautiful creatures that someone once convinced them of their unattractiveness, and they unconditionally believed in it.

We want to once and for all make you believe that there is no one more beautiful than you, that you are the cutest in the world, that you are the most charming and attractive. But for this you must love yourself, love the whole of you, with all your shortcomings and complexes, and believe me, very soon there will be no trace of them left.

Nobody argues that the art of being attractive is not easy to master. To do this, it is very important to understand what your individuality is, learn to emphasize your most advantageous qualities, identify your strengths and skillfully cover up your shortcomings. By and large, a person’s entire life is his self-expression. If you have any characteristics, then they will definitely manifest themselves in some way, for example, in the choice of clothes, in the very manner of holding yourself, presenting yourself, communicating, in facial expressions and gestures. It is important to remember that a person’s appearance expresses not only his qualities, but also his own attitude towards himself.

Every day can be happy

You can talk as much as you like that our happiness depends only on us, you can repeat every minute and hourly that we are the masters of our own destiny, but one thing remains unchanged - we very often, almost always, make our own happiness dependent on others. For some reason, we don’t know how to rejoice just like that; we always need a reason to be happy. In our strange society, it is considered indecent to be happy when there are so many unhappy people around. We are embarrassed to be happy!

Yes, we live in a country that is actually in a state of war, when everyone around is depressed and oppressed, when almost every day something happens somewhere - explosions, disasters, hostage-takings, terrorist attacks, when adults and children die. Pensioners are begging, young families are having difficulty making ends meet, refugees have flooded the central regions, wages are being delayed, prices are rising, “depravity and decay” are all around. We cannot stay away from all this; we project other people’s grief onto ourselves and from this we ourselves become unhappy.

there are so many reasons to feel happy!

Has your child returned home from school safe and sound? This is happiness. Are you healthy yourself and your loved ones? This is also happiness!

The ability to be happy is a great gift and should not be neglected. Yes, we must be able to unite in the face of danger, we must be able to sympathize and empathize, but we do not have to become unhappy just because someone else has suffered grief. It is much more productive and necessary not to shed tears together, but to provide concrete and effective help. Your neighbors have nothing to dress their children in, and your children have already outgrown some jackets and pants? Give them these clothes. Pensioner Baba Tanya lost her bag with her entire pension? Invite her to a bowl of soup, you won't be poor.

Bring kindness into your life. Good is the joy of life, receiving pleasure, the joy of being human, seeing and feeling the sun, breathing, hearing sounds that are pleasant to us, having the desire and opportunity to see pleasant people, finding time to communicate with them, feeling healthy and happy. A kind person means constant sensitivity and attention to people, the desire to come to their aid under any circumstances. Take their joys and sorrows to heart. This is especially noticeable in difficult moments of life, when even simple human participation eases mental pain.

How to create the mood?

There are several secrets to creating a good mood that you don't even know about.

First secret

lies in the shape of the room where you live. Experts involved in cosmic energy and biofields argue that in oval and round rooms, cosmic energy more effectively nourishes a person, and clear, right corners of furniture, square and rectangular rooms have a depressing effect on the psyche. Therefore, we recommend trying to “round off” the living spaces by cutting off all the corners.

In addition, the bed on which you sleep should have its head facing east, and when entering the house, your gaze should not rest on the mirror, since the mirror accumulates the energy of people looking at it, and not all people who come to you are friendly.

Second secret

consists of evening dressing. Before going to bed, be sure to wash your feet. It is believed that water washes away not only dirt and fatigue, but also fragments of foreign, not always good, biofields, and also evens out the flow of energy in the six energy channels that end and begin on the feet - the bladder, kidneys, spleen, pancreas, liver, gall bladder and stomach.

Third secret

is about walking. Walking along the alleys of the park is very good for your mood, since trees have a biofield that they generously share with people. Pine and birch most harmoniously feed a person with energy (not in excess, like oak), while spruce, aspen and poplar take it away. According to current data, the radius of the biofield in a healthy tree is 2–3 m. In a sick tree it is much less. But, by the way, don’t shy away from spruce, aspen, poplar - they are not vampires. These trees are good at relieving pain during inflammatory processes, that is, they remove excess energy accumulated in some organ.

Rhythm of life

Who in our crazy times can boast that they live for their own pleasure, are not in a hurry, do not worry about anything and enjoy life? There are very few such people. Insignificantly little. There are almost none. The bulk of the population is in constant time pressure. There is not enough time for anything - neither for yourself nor for others.

Try to rationalize your life a little. Try to create at least the appearance of order and regularity in the events happening to you and your loved ones. Life “not according to plan” is a powerful stressogen.

Learn to take life lightly, without getting hung up on little things and not paying attention to troubles. They are on their own, and you are on your own.

It is not easy. But probably. What is needed for this? First of all, you will have to organize your life in such a way that there is as little room as possible for all kinds of surprises, especially unpleasant ones. Although a pleasant surprise can become stressful if it disrupts some of your significant plans. Therefore, if you decide for once to attend a theater premiere and even bought tickets so that your beloved has nowhere to go and look for excuses, and with shining eyes, he returns from work and reports that today you are having dinner with his beloved mother, do not be upset too much. In the end, it’s not his fault that you didn’t warn him in advance. Therefore, have a schedule at least for the near future, but still warn your loved ones about your plans so that their own plans do not come as a surprise to you.

Schedule your day. Indicate the main points that you absolutely cannot do without - work at work, work at home (although at least half of this point can be farmed out to anyone in the household, and devote the free time to yourself, your beloved), routine moments (which include sleep as the most important component of good health) and be sure to determine how much time you can spend on yourself and your hobbies (but at least two hours a day, morning toilet does not count).

About stress

Stress and depression have become constant companions of modern man. Women especially suffer from this.

Do you feel unhappy, tired, overwhelmed by constant worries? Well, you're not the only one. If it makes you happy, 78% of Russian women experience stress constantly and 91% occasionally.

Women are generally much more susceptible to depression than men. And the point is not at all that men are the stronger sex and cope more easily with traumatic situations. It’s just the way we are designed that our psyche reacts much more strongly to stress. We are subject to hormonal shocks that cannot be discounted. In addition, the female brain (unfairly, but true) contains significantly less serotonin than even the most ordinary representative of the stronger sex.

However, it's not all bad. For all their stress tolerance, women cope with stress much better. And this is absolutely true, because the largest number of completed suicides still falls on men. This is probably explained by the fact that women have a stronger instinct of self-preservation. In addition, men are much more likely than us women to resort to stress relief methods such as alcohol, nicotine and drugs, as well as extreme sports and extreme entertainment.

In addition to the above, it can be noted that men have their own (and not weak) stress factor, which will be worse than any of the women’s. Modern life requires men to be “real” - that is, strong, restrained, successful, rich, and many of them are simply unable to meet these strict requirements, which drives them into depression. In addition, men are much less likely than women to seek help (so as not to lose face, obviously).

Healthy sleep

Are you sleeping well? You are lucky. But there are people who cannot fall asleep for a long time in the evening, sleep poorly, have nightmares or simply restless dreams, and during the day they resemble boiled chickens or limp dill - just as weak-willed and dull.

What to do to prevent this from happening? Take care of yourself, you can do it. But how?

Doctors advise using a daily routine. Your body gets used to waking up and falling asleep at approximately the same time, the process of falling asleep is normalized, sleep becomes deep and restful. You begin to wake up in the morning easily and with a feeling of vigor. It's simple, isn't it? However, there are several objections.

Firstly, there is no guarantee that you will actually be able to go to bed and get up at the same time every day. Force majeure can happen in the lives of each of us. To survive the consequences of unforeseen circumstances (late guests, emergency work at work, illness of a child, etc.), you don’t need to do anything special - when everything passes, just sleep off, and that’s it.

But what to do when your whole life turns into a complete force majeure? Change yourself or change this life? It depends on what will be easier for you. If circumstances have developed in such a way that it is simply impossible to do otherwise, you have no choice but to come to terms with it and try to play by the changed rules. Young mothers will understand me. Their life is a complete imbalance between sleep and rest; they can only rest in quiet moments when their beloved child is sleeping (and even then not always, because no one has canceled housework). It’s also not easy for those who work 24 hours a day or in shifts - there are periods in the lives of these people when they just can’t fall asleep at the right time.

Beautiful morning

You slept sweetly, you dreamed lovely dreams, and the last thing in the world you would like to get up and start a new day... Is this state familiar?

But... In the pitch darkness, the alarm clock is screaming fitfully and pounding, the numbers 6:00 are ominously grinning on the dial - it’s time to get up. How to overcome yourself and learn to start the day not with moans and curses against such a life, but with a smile and a joyful purr?

First of all, don't force yourself to jump out of bed immediately. Two extra minutes don’t solve anything, and can ruin your mood completely. Ordinary lazy wallowing under the blanket can be turned to your advantage - do a little training with yourself, imagining all your further morning steps, step by step go all the way from the bathroom to the threshold of your apartment, and get ready for the whole day.

Sometimes we wake up and feel that we haven’t rested at all, that we simply don’t have enough strength to even get out of bed. In this case, gently stretch by tilting your head back and pointing your toes forward. Look out the window. Open your eyes to the morning light and you will feel a surge of energy. Scientists believe that the moment the sun's rays hit the retina, the release of the hormone serotonin (which makes us feel sleepy) stops.

In the morning, a person is most often sad... Not everyone easily gives up sleep and moves on to wakefulness. There are days when you don't even want to get up. Everything seems uninteresting and boring to you, although there is clear sun outside the window. And you are not even able to do exercises... different thoughts are constantly spinning in your head. You need to remember something, and you just can’t figure out what it is. Sad thoughts simply overcome you, they take you to distant and near troubles and sorrows, the most insignificant troubles come to mind. And then today’s affairs and worries come to your mind, your head is spinning, you want to give up everything, but with your mind you understand that this cannot be done. And you make the first mistake in the coming day: you start thinking about the bad. Therefore, before this happens, let's pull ourselves together and try to help ourselves, with our own hands. After all, everyone knows the expression: it’s as simple as that. First, lightly rub your eyes with your hands, smile, look at the world in a new way.

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The given introductory fragment of the book Psychology of beauty: Attractiveness training (A. V. Dobrolyubova) provided by our book partner - the company liters.

How to create the mood?

There are several secrets to creating a good mood that you don't even know about.

First secretlies in the shape of the room where you live. Experts involved in cosmic energy and biofields argue that in oval and round rooms, cosmic energy more effectively nourishes a person, and clear, right corners of furniture, square and rectangular rooms have a depressing effect on the psyche. Therefore, we recommend trying to “round off” the living spaces by cutting off all the corners.

Second secretconsists of evening dressing. Before going to bed, be sure to wash your feet. It is believed that water washes away not only dirt and fatigue, but also fragments of foreign, not always good, biofields, and also evens out the flow of energy in the six energy channels that end and begin on the feet - the bladder, kidneys, spleen, pancreas, liver, gall bladder and stomach.

Third secretis about walking. Walking along the alleys of the park is very good for your mood, since trees have a biofield that they generously share with people. Pine and birch most harmoniously feed a person with energy (not in excess, like oak), while spruce, aspen and poplar take it away. According to current data, the radius of the biofield in a healthy tree is 2–3 m. In a sick tree it is much less. But, by the way, don’t shy away from spruce, aspen, poplar - they are not vampires. These trees are good at relieving pain during inflammatory processes, that is, they remove excess energy accumulated in some organ.

The fourth secretlies in the smells. Pleasant smells lift your spirits, clarify your thoughts, quicken your pulse and add strength in just a few seconds. The best smell to lift your spirits is the smell of fresh oranges. And if you also eat this sweet fruit, then you are guaranteed a good mood. But you can do without oranges. Take a bottle of fragrant oils and bring it to your nose, or put a few drops of aromatic liquid on a handkerchief and stick it in your breast pocket. Scents of rosemary, peppermint, eucalyptus, lemon, lavender, patchouli, pine, cedar and bergamot are good stimulants. By the way, you can try to choose your own scent that will evoke pleasant emotions in you. It doesn't have to be perfume, deodorant, eau de toilette, it can be the smell of a rose, melon, tulip, etc.

Rhythm of life

Learn to take life lightly, without getting hung up on little things and not paying attention to troubles. They are on their own, and you are on your own.

When creating a schedule, keep in mind not only your own daily routine, rest and entertainment. You should keep in mind the necessary minimum of those cosmetic procedures that need to be done regularly, no matter what.

Biological rhythms, which have a significant impact on our lives, are of considerable importance. And who, if not us, women, should know what these same “rhythms” are, when every day there is a magnetic storm, or turbulence in energy flows, or the moon is in an unfavorable position, or some other misfortune... And we fight , we try not to give in, we fight with life’s circumstances, we are exhausted, exhausted, downtrodden, miserable creatures. And aren't you ashamed?

Stop. Listen to yourself, feel the rhythm in which your body lives. You don’t need to do anything, change anything, just try to live not as life-villain dictates to you, but as your inner “I” quietly whispers.

The rhythm of your life in itself means nothing. An empty word. What matters is not what you come up with for yourself, what list of daily tasks you hang on the refrigerator door, not that dull daily routine with which we were all strangled in childhood, but your inner feeling - what you need and what you don’t need to do at one time or another every day.

How easy it is to listen to yourself! How difficult it is to hear what your body is saying! You can completely misinterpret the signals that your inner being sends you and do the wrong thing. The inevitable result is a bad mood, poor health, a state of frustration and dissatisfaction with oneself, and all this “beautiful bouquet” is necessarily reflected in the appearance.

For clarity, we will give an example of biorhythms that are characteristic of the vast majority of people. But it should be approached individually. The time may be shifted depending on what your internal clock is telling you. Analyzing how different your hours are from the average is quite simple - for example, checking the time at which you are hungry or usually want to sleep. Based on these points, you can adjust the remaining sections.

Starting at six in the morning, the human body begins to produce the awakening hormone - cortisol.

7.00–8.00 – "Awakening". This is the best time for breakfast. Metabolism increases, nutrients are easily absorbed, and the intestines tend to cleanse themselves of the results of night activities.

It's easy to wake up at this time, but be careful: if you decide to sleep for another minute, you risk falling into deep sleep, which will be difficult to get out of without a headache and a spoiled mood.

9.00–10.00 – "Nega". At this time, pain sensitivity is reduced, but sexual sensitivity is increased. The pleasure experienced only intensifies.

10.00–12.00 – "Intelligence". This is a time of vigor, reflection and inspiration.

12.00–13.00 – "Food". During this period, the body needs nutrition, so it is best to give yourself a little rest and have a snack.

13.00–14.00 – "Dream". After lunch, activity decreases, and the desire to sleep or sit in silence appears. Find yourself 20-30 minutes during which you can take a light nap.

15.00–16.00 – "Sport". It's time to take care of your figure and exercise. By 17:00 it is time for an afternoon snack, for which it is best to choose fruit or protein foods. And by 18 o’clock mental activity is activated again - this can be used for various activities.

18.00–19.00 – "Purity". The body is being cleansed, you should not eat food, it is better not to smoke, but to breathe fresh air.

20.00–21.00 – "Rest". It is at this time that a period of drowsiness begins, which will repeat every two hours. If you want to lose extra pounds, then around 21.00 is ideal for exercising.

22.00–1.00 – "Dream". This is the period that marks the beginning of the body's recovery after a difficult day. It is this time of sleep that is considered healing for the whole body. Try to go to bed early at least twice a week.

The path to beauty is not easy and thorny. To be beautiful means to be in harmony with yourself and the world around you, to know what your body and soul want at any given moment in life. Your face may not have classically correct features, but it will be illuminated by an inner light, bear the imprint of harmony and agreement, and no one will dare to say that you are ugly.

The treatments you perform on your own body, face, hair, etc. may be more or less effective. It all depends on what day of the week and what day of the month they are performed.

Do not forget about agreement with natural rhythms; the lunar calendar is a woman’s best friend. The sad and beautiful Moon will tell you exactly what to do on certain days of the month. Take a closer look at the night sky - what shape is our closest celestial neighbor now? In general, the lunar month consists of 28 or 29 days, and does not coincide with the calendar month. It is best to purchase a lunar calendar or just watch the sky.

First day of the lunar month - this is the first night when the Moon is not visible in the sky, that is, when the new moon occurs. It is not recommended to carry out any cosmetic procedures during the new moon. It is believed that at this time everything is renewed, including our body, and interfering with the natural cycle of renewal makes no sense and is even harmful.

Growing month allows you to perform procedures that are aimed at accelerating growth. Manicures, haircuts for those who want to grow long hair, peelings and cleansing treatments for the skin - all this can and should be done while the lunar disk is growing.

As the Moon rounds, the effectiveness of the procedures decreases, the body enters a resting phase, and the time comes for strengthening and nutrition. At this time, hair can be dyed - it is most susceptible to this procedure.

If The moon is big and round , her unreal light fills the night with a milky glow, and she herself looks like a round and very sad face, which means now is the full moon - the right time for those procedures and operations that are associated with strengthening. If you want your hair to fall out less and become thicker, try to cut it during the full moon. Hair cut during this phase of the Moon grows slower than usual, but falls out less. In addition, the full moon is a great time for hair removal, eyebrow shaping, hair extensions, and also creating hairstyles such as African braids or permanent hairstyles.

Watch the Moon. When it begins to decrease on the right side and after a few days becomes similar to the letter C, this indicates that The moon entered the second half of the cycle and began to decline . This is the best time to get a haircut for those who wear short hair - hair cut in the second half of the lunar cycle slows down its growth, but at the same time it becomes more manageable in styling and shines better. The second half of the lunar cycle is a good time for piercings and permanent makeup, as well as for tattoos.

We women have another good clue about what can and cannot be done at a given time - our menstrual cycle. So, at the beginning of the cycle, before ovulation, it is useful to exercise, carry out cleansing diets, and fasting. This is explained by the fact that the first half of the menstrual cycle is a time of increased metabolism. Your body is preparing for pregnancy, and in this regard, all organs and systems work non-stop. In addition, it will be useful to know that in the first half of the cycle a large amount of estrogens circulates in the body - hormones that are responsible for vigor, good mood and well-being. The skin at this time usually does not cause any trouble - it is moderately oily, pimples rarely appear.

After ovulation, even the most intense workouts will not bring the desired result, the diet will go down the drain. The reason is that metabolism has slowed down, resulting in fluid retention in the body. What follows from this? Morning “bags” under the eyes, weight gain. The skin becomes oily and nasty pimples may appear. In addition, closer to menstruation, the blood thins, and you should not perform hair removal, piercing, or tattoos. A manicure done at this time will not last very long, and if you accidentally cut your skin, the bleeding will be difficult to stop. Starting from the twenty-fifth day of the cycle, you should not perform mechanical cleansing of the face and body, or treat your teeth. All you can afford are masks, light peeling or massage.

Ladies with oily skin who are bothered by pimples before and during menstruation should pay attention to their regime and diet - fatty foods, smoked foods, sweets and alcohol each time provoke the skin to produce even more sebum, that is, to the appearance of acne.

During menstruation, you should not do any procedures associated with pain (waxing, manual facial cleansing, wart removal), at this time you are especially sensitive to pain. Dental treatment and plastic surgery are also not worth it.

However, even on those days when you are not feeling well, you should not neglect yourself and refuse all caring procedures. Daily care is required. Therefore, remember a simple daily schedule for your skin: from 8 am to 12 pm, your skin is in the state most favorable for all kinds of cosmetic procedures and tolerates them best. From 12 to 14 hours the skin “rests”, and all procedures carried out at this time will not bring the desired result. The skin is least sensitive to pain from about 18 to 20 hours, so if you need to do hair removal, do it at this time.

In any case, choosing and determining the rhythm of your life, establishing a routine or living without it at all, the presence or absence of stress - this is your life. You can enjoy every moment, feel pleasure and joy from what is happening to you now, or, on the contrary, exist sadly and boringly, not knowing how to make life sparkle with colors and become bright, like a rainbow after a May thunderstorm.

This should be your conscious choice and your own independent decision. Only you yourself can make your life bright and joyful, eventful and happy meetings. Your mood is in your hands, and if you don’t allow it, no one will be able to spoil it.

About stress

Stress and depression have become constant companions of modern man. Women especially suffer from this.

Do you feel unhappy, tired, overwhelmed by constant worries? Well, you're not the only one. If it makes you happy, 78% of Russian women experience stress constantly and 91% occasionally.

But is stress really that bad for us?

They do harm, of course, but it cannot be said that all stressful situations, without exception, have an adverse effect on our lives. As paradoxical as it may sound, there are also beneficial stresses.

What are the benefits of stress? First of all, stress is a kind of shake-up for our psyche. Without such shocks, we would become completely inert and go with the flow, not trying to change anything in our lives. From an extraordinary situation, which, in fact, is stress, a person often receives such an energy charge that allows him to mobilize and do something that he would not even think about in his normal state. But there is one “but” here. Do not allow yourself to find yourself in such situations too often, otherwise the so-called continuous stress will drive you to the grave much earlier than the appointed time.

Science has generally come to a devastating conclusion: a person cannot live without stress. Terrible. And now what i can do?

Try to understand that you are able to influence your own life. You really can and should change what you can in your life. But don’t try to break through a blank wall with your forehead; come to terms with what you can’t handle. Live the way you can today. Tomorrow will be a new day, and who knows, maybe you will have some new opportunities.

Don’t try to jump over your head - people are not gods, and they can’t do everything. Determine your ceiling. And add a little more to it. Once you reach your new high, be happy for yourself and raise the bar just a little again. Don’t overdo it, try to evaluate yourself realistically, and then, reaching new and new milestones, you will be able to experience legitimate pride: “I did it!” Praise yourself for your successes and don’t be tormented by failures. Be proud of yourself and give yourself little indulgences.

Communicate with people who are personally pleasant to you, and do not try to force yourself to be nice to everyone. Communication with those who are close to you emotionally lifts your mood and changes your self-esteem for the better.

Try to have at least some rough plan for the near future - this way you will have the meaning of life. And if everything doesn’t work out as planned, don’t despair - remember, everything could have been much worse.

Inspire yourself that it is not stress that affects you, but that you decide whether to succumb to a bad mood or not. After all, stress is nothing more than your reaction to one or another event in life, and certainly not the event itself. If you can learn to distinguish the banal failures in life that happen to everyone from real disasters that also sometimes happen, what can we hide, your life will become much less “stressful” and much more enjoyable.

But why do people react so differently to essentially similar situations? Why is it that for some, troubles are just a reason to get drunk and feel sorry for themselves, shedding crocodile tears, while others can only fully realize themselves in such situations? What influences people’s behavior – the people themselves, their attitude to the situation, or the situation itself? And one thing, and another, and a third. All at once.

Something happens in life that can chill any “hippopotamus” to the very liver. For example, the 1998 default. For example, the events of September 11, 2001 in New York. For example, the Beslan tragedy in September 2004...

But there are people who react to the most seemingly ordinary events as if the Earth had capsized and reared up. There are also those that cannot be penetrated by banal little things - they require heavy artillery. People are all different and react differently to what happens to them, but this is the beauty of our life.

Nobody wants to be classified as a weak-hearted lady. And let psychologists tell themselves that resistance to stress is an innate quality. Still, we have the right and can learn to restrain our emotional reactions. The question is how to do this really effectively and as correctly as possible.

You can do things differently. You can try to change the world around you. Try to influence the people around you, the events that happen around you, so that your life becomes calm and beautiful, the way you need it. Does not work? There is nothing strange about this. You are not the Lord God after all.

Well, let's go the other way. Let's start with ourselves, the only one. Look inside your soul. Be bold, don't be afraid. What do you have there? There are two wonderful things inside you that influence how you respond to stress. One is your self-doubt and fear of the harsh realities of life, and the other is your internal reserve capabilities, which allow you to still cope with any difficulties, no matter what.

Now the problem of how to cope with stress seems to you in a completely different light. It represents not a tragedy, not the ground that has slipped from under your feet, not a situation that is out of your control, but a calm and reasonable plan for how to cover your weak points and mobilize internal resources to overcome the cowardly reaction of the brain to unpredictable developments.

A little psychological training will come in handy.

Pick up paper and pencil, find a quieter place in the house, and get to work. Remember and write down the most unpleasant and most traumatic situations for you, in which you inevitably fall under the influence of your weaknesses. For example, clients complained about you, for which you were deprived of a quarterly bonus, your husband did not take out the trash can, although you asked him to do it a hundred times, your child got bad marks, and you do not have enough time to teach him homework, etc. d. Try to remember at least nine to ten similar unpleasant situations.

Now try to rate them on a scale of ten based on the degree of their impact on you. Find the most traumatic ones. Think about it - why does it hurt you so much when something like this happens? Doesn't the reason lie within you - in your lack of self-confidence, in your desire for your husband to take more care of you, do you feel guilty for spending little time with your child?

Once you identify these core issues, it will be much easier for you to take the next step. Next to each item, briefly note the positive results that, despite everything, these situations led to. For example, it finally dawned on you that you can’t yell at clients, or that it’s time to start implementing a policy of ironclad rules in the family, or that it’s time to trust your child to handle most of his own affairs so that all you have to do is control him a little. In general, there will be no less positive aspects than negative ones, you just need to be able to discern them.

The one who learns from his own mistakes and takes them into account in the future will ultimately be able to become a winner, and the one who does not draw any conclusions even from his own successes and takes everything for granted will someday lose.

However, to win, it is not enough just to realize one’s mistakes. It takes strong determination to do anything that could change the situation for the better. You must be clearly aware that you will have to sacrifice something to achieve your goal - harmony in life and the ability to easily cope with even the most difficult challenges that life throws at us every now and then.

What is needed for that? First of all, you must believe in yourself. It’s easy to say, because this is exactly what many of us fail to do. But you must try to overcome this vicious circle. Remember all your successes, even the smallest ones, remind yourself how well you did a difficult task at one time. Think about which of your personal qualities helped you in this. Try to imagine how these same qualities help you in other situations.

Learning to overcome yourself and your fears, turning your problems into your own successes means becoming stronger, more successful, better. You take control of your life, and it doesn’t overwhelm you with an avalanche of problems and failures.

When you learn not to moan and feel sorry for yourself, but to see in every new problem just a challenge from fate, another difficult task that you need to solve, when you learn to see the stressors that life is full of as an opportunity for growth and a driving force for your further advancement in life, when you learn not to fight stress, but to accept it and think how to use it to your advantage, then your life will not become an “eternal battle” when peace is only a dream, but a measured and progressive movement forward, to new heights.

Healthy sleep

What to do to prevent this from happening? Take care of yourself, you can do it. But how?

And after everything, when, it would seem, it would be possible to rest, an overstrained body and tired nerves do not allow you to relax and fall asleep. What to do in this case?

There are absolutely reliable remedies that have existed for centuries and have been tested by more than one generation, which are guaranteed to bring you peace and healthy, sound sleep.

– A glass of warm milk with honey, drunk fifteen minutes before bedtime, will calm the nerves and cause almost irresistible drowsiness.

– Accustom yourself to an exquisite evening drink for ladies – chamomile tea with a spoonful of honey or cane sugar. The pleasant, gentle aroma of chamomile will help you throw off the burden of worries, relax and bring blessed peace. The main thing in this matter is to become a sybarite, at least for the duration of the tea party. Put on beautiful pajamas, put on cute cozy soft slippers or warm socks, pour tea into a beautiful cup, in short, create an atmosphere of relaxation and peace. Establish an order in which none of the household members bother you with their demands and problems. After all, you have every right to devote twenty minutes of evening time to yourself personally.

– You can take a warm, but not hot, bath with a decoction of chamomile or valerian root. If, after such a bath, you stand barefoot on a foam mat soaked in parsley infusion, then in ten to fifteen minutes you will absolutely fall with your head on the pillow and sleep until the morning.

– A foot massage done with aromatic lavender oil also helps a lot (it’s ideal to be performed by the hands of a loved one, but you can easily do it yourself).

– An excellent way to relieve stress accumulated during the day and free yourself from all worries is a walk before bed. You don't need to break the Olympic record for race walking or marathon running, just walk for fun. Half an hour will be enough.

– Get a cat – its affectionate purring will help you relieve unpleasant emotions and get rid of sad thoughts. And cats of the Thai breed (not to be confused with Siamese!) can replace your massage therapist and medical diagnostics. These cute creatures somehow mysteriously find out what hurts you and heal you with just their touch.

– Don't watch TV before bed. Have you ever seen anything pleasant or simply optimistic in any of the evening programs? Do you need to be upset before bed? Better read a book, watch a good comedy or sentimental melodrama on home video.

– Try not to put off sorting things out with your household until the evening; it’s better to resolve all unpleasant issues during the day. And if it doesn’t work out, then try to make peace before going to bed - after all, not only will you “have trouble sleeping,” but also the person with whom you quarreled. Be noble.

What to do if you wake up in the middle of the night and realize that’s it. You won't get another minute of sleep. And the clock says half past two in the morning, there is silence in the house, and you can only hear the clock ticking in the kitchen. How to force yourself to sleep? No way.

If this happens, don’t force yourself to fall asleep. This is guaranteed not to help you. Counting sheep by hundreds and other patented methods of combating insomnia are just as doomed to failure.

Use the quietest and most tranquil time at night to your advantage - think about everything that you couldn’t think about during this day, make an action plan for the coming days, figure out your financial affairs, plan your purchases - whatever you want, all those women’s worries , which we never manage to properly plan and understand. It’s not worth waking up your husband to consult with him on this or that issue - he definitely won’t like it.

Although another way to combat insomnia is to try freezing. Throw back the blanket, take off your pajamas, walk around the room naked and barefoot. And under no circumstances think that you are wasting time! Checked: this thought drives away the last hope of falling asleep. When you are thoroughly frozen, your skin is covered with pimples, and even better, it starts to shiver, quickly dive under the blanket. The blood will rush to the skin to warm it, the pleasant warmth will relax the muscles, and sleep will gently envelop you.

If you really can’t sleep, you can go to the kitchen and cook something delicious for breakfast for the whole family. Although such a prospect always horrified me, and my lazy soul immediately made my poor sleepless head fall asleep.

What gives us a restful sleep? Calm nerves and a joyful state of mind. And if joy comes into your life according to its own schedule and cannot be ordered from the outside, then you can calm your own nerves.

The magical power of nature can help with this - aromatic extracts from various plants.

Even in ancient times, it was known about the impact of various odors on a person’s health and well-being, on his mental and emotional state.

What is smell? Fragrance is molecules of substances that float in the air and irritate our noses in a completely indecent way. And the receptors, which are located in the nasal cavity, send a signal to the brain, which recognizes the signal and deciphers the smell, explaining to us what exactly we just smelled - a Queen Victoria rose or a rotten apple.

You should know that the intensity and nature of the smell determines the effect it will have on your health and well-being.

The odorous substances contained in plants and for which they are valued are called essential oils. With the help of essential oils, we have the opportunity to control not only our well-being, but also our mood.

Each oil has its own preferred area of application: some have a natural calming and relaxing effect ( sandalwood, oregano, ylang-ylang, verbena, chamomile, lavender), others are tonic ( nutmeg, sage, lemon balm, orange, cinnamon), the third are regenerating ( geranium, pine, rose), fourth - antiseptics and bactericidal ( thyme, bergamot, thyme, lemon). However, only natural oils can be truly effective; one or two drops will be enough. That’s why essential oils are sold in tiny vials, and not in half-liter jars.

How do some essential oils work?

Headache can be cured with leaves peppermint, rubbed in fingers and applied to temples. After this, lie down for fifteen minutes in a cool, darkened room.

If you do mental work, keep a pot of water on your desk. lemon balm. Its delicate green color calms the nerves, and its delicate aroma restores strength of spirit, increases the body's defenses, helps to concentrate and increases productivity.

If you have trouble sleeping, sew a small pillow and stuff it with dried lavender or verbena, keep it at the head of the head, and during the day put it in a plastic bag and hide it in the closet - at the same time the bed linen will be “scented”. With this treatment, the lavender pad will serve you faithfully for at least a year.

Caraway tea– an excellent remedy for those who cannot concentrate during active mental activities. The aroma of cumin activates the frontal lobes of the brain, which are responsible for intelligence. Helps a lot too fig tree fruit(figs). In addition to being incredibly tasty, they also stimulate creativity.

Essential oil orange has a remarkable ability to improve mood even on the most cloudy and “foul” day. The orange is so bright, orange-sunny and round that its very appearance already reminds of holidays, gifts and pleasant moments... And its fresh and cheerful smell gives vigor and strength. If you want to fill your home with the joyful and festive smell of spices and citrus fruits, place wide plates of oranges in your rooms and stick whole buds of spicy cloves into their skins. You are guaranteed an amazing intoxicating aroma throughout the whole house.

Oil roses And tea tree relieves inflammation, soothes and regenerates the skin.

If you add one or two drops of rose oil to a jar of cream, its effectiveness will increase five times! Make a lotion with tea tree oil and you can quickly get rid of rashes and irritation on your face and body.

To fill rooms with aromas, it is best to use a special aroma lamp, although you can light a candle and drop a couple of drops of oil into the wax, or even just apply a drop of oil to an ordinary light bulb and turn on the light.

To disinfect indoor air, add one drop of oil bergamot or thyme.

The best scent for a home where guests are expected - needles or citrus. Orange oil improves mood and gives vigor and cheerfulness, while pine aromas increase appetite.

How some scents work:

– basil treats headaches and gives vitality, its essential oils have a calming and disinfecting effect on mucous membranes and tissues;

– rosemary helps with low blood pressure. If you experience weakness and apathy in the morning, you can chew one sprig of green rosemary, and in the evening take a rosemary bath - add 50 grams of herb to one liter of boiling water, leave for half an hour and add the infusion to the bath;

– cedar calms down with increased anxiety;

– eucalyptus helps with a runny nose, relaxes and calms;

– geranium helps with menstrual pain, calms nerves;

– jasmine softens emotional stress, invigorates. But you should not use this smell in the bedroom - it can cause headaches and insomnia;

– lemon improves mood, relieves fatigue, banishes anxiety;

– mint relieves mental fatigue and helps with migraines;

– orange helps keep you warm in the cold and creates an atmosphere of ease;

– thyme purifies the air;

– pine strengthens and stimulates appetite;

– bitter orange flower oil(neroli) increases sexual desire. This oil is great for a romantic date;

– verbena calms and is a mild hypnotic.

Fragrances can also be a good substitute for medications if you have any pain:

– oil is excellent for muscle and joint pain eucalyptus, peppermint, rosemary;

– if you have no strength for anything, your muscles are weak and completely apathetic, this will help you juniper or camphor oil;

– oils help with migraines and spasmodic headaches lavender, peppermint, lemon balm, anise or lemon.

Beautiful morning

You slept sweetly, you dreamed lovely dreams, and the last thing in the world you would like to get up and start a new day... Is this state familiar?

Now place your thumb and index finger farther apart and begin stroking your neck with your outstretched fingers and palm. Then move smoothly from the chin to the jugular fossa. Alternately, with one hand or the other, stroke your neck. When you feel warm, stop.

Now massage your cheeks. Place your thumbs under the lower jaw, rest them on it, and with all other fingers and the palm itself, begin to make circular movements along two facial muscles at once - they seem to border the sides of your cheeks. Your movements must be strong so that your cheeks turn pink. And then, using the edges of your hands, rub your forehead from the hairline to the bridge of your nose. Don't forget to rub your eyebrows.

Do not be afraid that your rubbing will lead to the formation of wrinkles, on the contrary, because wrinkles are a hardened part of the muscle that needs to be gotten rid of, and this is exactly what an intense massage will help with.

At the very end, start with your ears.

After this, sit in bed and massage the occipital protuberances. Try using the edges of both hands (one above the other) to “saw off” the head. Now go down to your shoulders and rub the muscle that goes to the shoulder blade. To do this, throw your right hand over your left shoulder, and with your left palm push it further along your back. Feel free to stretch the muscle - it is the one that will protect you from possible sclerosis.

Now the question is quite logical: what result are we expecting?

Carrying out this massage for two months will improve your complexion. In addition, your memory will improve significantly, you will be able to remember a large amount of information that was not given to you before.

You will begin to wake up in an excellent mood, you will become easy-going, things will go faster, which means you will have more free time.

Usually after this we go to the bathroom to wash away the last traces of sleep from our face, and if at the same time you take a shower, especially a contrast shower, then that’s just wonderful!

Before showering, rinse your face with cold water 10-12 times. You can do a contrast wash. First rinse your face with hot water, then cold and hot again. Repeat five times, but always finish washing with cold water to tighten the pores. This moisturizes the skin well, increases blood circulation and helps to instantly perk up, throwing off the remnants of sleep.

Brush your teeth. Breathing should be slow. To ensure that your breath is clean and does not have an unpleasant odor, chew a few sprigs of parsley.

You can make your eyes sparkle with a simple procedure. Moisten a cotton swab with warm tea leaves and place it on your eyelids for three minutes. Now that your eyes are sparkling, take care of your complexion.

Add a tablespoon of honey and a few drops of lemon juice to a glass of warm water, mix everything thoroughly and drink on an empty stomach (you can put honey in a glass of water in the evening, then it will dissolve and you won’t have to stir it for a long time). This drink will not only promote a beautiful complexion, but will also energize you for the whole day.

Do not drink coffee, especially black coffee, to cheer yourself up - there is little benefit, much harm. Tea contains no less theine (caffeine) than coffee; it invigorates, but does not overstimulate the nervous system. Place a slice of lemon in a cup and you will receive a portion of vitamin C, which is excellent for mobilizing the body’s defenses.

Best to drink in the morning green tea with lemon or honey (if you are not allergic to bee products). Green tea contains a huge amount of beneficial substances that have a wide variety of effects on the body. So, green tea contains flavonoids– special substances that are also found in red wine, helping to avoid heart attacks. Flavonoids destroy “bad” cholesterol, allowing blood to circulate more freely throughout the circulatory system, that is, blood stagnation is prevented. Also, the healing effect of flavonoids is manifested in the fact that they kill free radicals, due to which the body, and especially the skin, quickly ages. Due to the high content of vitamin E and catechins green tea has even surpassed the well-known and widely used ascorbic acid, or vitamin C, in its anti-aging effect.

Why do you think in the Caucasus, lamb shish kebab is washed down not with vodka or beer, like ours, but with green tea or, at worst, red wine? Because green tea has a truly magical ability to break down fats with a high pour point (above +15 0 C), such as lamb. In addition, green tea normalizes the microflora of the stomach and intestines, which is especially important in the morning, accelerates lymph and blood flow, and helps the body fight excess deposits of subcutaneous fat (thus cellulite, the scourge of modern women). But for this you need to drink not iced tea, but a warm drink, which helps to absorb food more quickly.

Women, especially those who have already reached an elegant age, need to drink at least one cup of green tea a day to prevent osteoporosis.

Thanks to the high content fluorine, green tea helps teeth stay strong and healthy no worse than Colgate Total.

If you suffer from facial swelling in the morning, a cup of green tea will help you deal with it because green tea helps remove excess water from the body.

In addition, the “process” of drinking a cup of tea in the morning is significantly different from the “coffee procedure”. Enjoying tea, you relax and appreciate every minute of time devoted to this wonderful drink, while coffee puts you in a working mood, and instead of relaxing for even a minute, you begin to scroll through all your worries and problems in your head.

About breakfast. Not all women eat breakfast. There’s no point in arguing about whether you need breakfast or not; it’s better to listen to your biorhythms. Many people cannot do without breakfast, while others simply cannot bring themselves to eat anything and limit themselves to tea or coffee. You shouldn't force your body. Do what is most convenient for you. But if you don’t have breakfast, you need to organize lunch at twelve o’clock, otherwise fasting for such a long time can negatively affect your health.

But if it’s breakfast, what should it be? It is very good to eat 150 grams of unsweetened cottage cheese and drink tea with lemon.

Very good for skin condition salad "Miracle". To prepare it, take three tablespoons of oatmeal, a teaspoon of raisins, and pour two tablespoons of milk over them. Leave it all overnight. In the morning, add a grated apple or other fruit, you can add a teaspoon of sugar, but it is not necessary. Mix everything thoroughly. Salad ready. It will help you feel extraordinary lightness and give you a good mood.

Another recipe to cook energy breakfast. True, it will require quite a long preparation. You will need wheat grains. Soak them and sprout them. It is easy to germinate wheat: place clean grains on a damp gauze, cover with a damp cloth on top and place in a warm, dark place. When the length of the sprouts is 1.5–2 mm, the sprouted grains will have the greatest biological value. Rinse them under running cold water - and a healthy and satisfying meal is ready. You can make an energy shake from these grains. To do this, grind the grains through a meat grinder, pour one tablespoon of grains with a glass of hot (but not boiling) milk.

When it cools down a little, you can drink it. Some may find this breakfast tasteless, but believe me, it is very healthy, because it not only replenishes the body with a large amount of vitamins and minerals, but also rejuvenates cells and gives energy. After just two weeks of eating sprouted wheat grains, the immune system is significantly strengthened and immunity to colds appears. And after a month of daily use, vision improves, nails become stronger, and hair becomes shiny. If you constantly eat sprouted wheat sprouts, you can get rid of caries and even periodontal disease. The fact is that the intestines are gradually cleansed of waste and toxins, and general well-being is normalized. Therefore, it is advisable, if not every day, then at least every other day, to drink such a cocktail for a month, and then take a break. After six months it should be repeated. Such nutrition will help you increase your vitality and rejuvenate your body.

You can make porridge or jelly from sprouted wheat with the addition of butter or honey. But neither one nor the other should be boiled.

You can have it for breakfast protein-carbohydrate cocktail. It is prepared like this: beat a glass of milk, a ripe soft banana and a glass of any frozen berries in a mixer (if you have fresh ones, then even better).

Another breakfast recipe that takes care of your beauty is offered by the Japanese. Oddly enough, this rice. The Japanese believe that rice is not just food. It contains the secret of their longevity. In addition, a relatively small number of Japanese suffer from cardiovascular diseases, which have become the scourge of the modern world. And the reason for this is traditional cuisine: boiled unsalted rice, seafood, an abundance of vegetables and fruits and, of course, green tea.

Rice can be safely called an ideal side dish, since it is rich in essential substances and does not lead to excess weight. A typical serving of rice in Japan is 150 g. It contains no more fat than half a piece of white bread. There are enough carbohydrates to work on burning fat in cells. Protein - as in half a glass of milk, calcium - as in one tomato, magnesium - as in five stalks of asparagus. This list continues with vitamins B and E, iron, and fiber.

Place the rice in a saucepan, add plenty of water, stir and slowly drain the water. Repeat washing 3-4 times. After this, let it sit in the water for an hour. Fill the aged rice with water again so that it covers the rice by 2–2.5 cm. Bring to a boil, keep “bubbling” for 5–6 minutes and reduce the heat, but so that the boil does not stop for another 7–8 minutes . After this, remove the pan, cover it with a lid or towel and place it in a warm place. In five minutes the rice is ready.

While eating, do not swallow pieces or lumps. Try to taste the food and enjoy the process itself. You shouldn’t make plans, remember yesterday’s troubles, solve problems in your mind and settle scores. You still have time - you have a whole day ahead. Remember that this morning is beautiful!

I don’t argue, there are such active people who don’t let them eat, but let them turn on some peppy tune at full blast and jump around the apartment, excitedly getting ready for work. But there are few of them, these laughing, cheerful people, and my advice is clearly not for such people, for them every morning is the beginning of a big holiday.

And for us, not so active ladies, it obviously wouldn’t hurt to know a few ways to get into a business mindset without much damage to the psyche.

The first thing is a smile. There is no escape without it. Scientists have long ago discovered a relationship between facial expressions and mood. We really are Can manage your emotions! Stand in front of the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Mentally tell yourself that you are incredibly happy to see yourself - so beautiful and radiant. Smile at yourself, because you are so beautiful, you are so pleased to see yourself! Well, has it gotten better? Remember this feeling of joy, the feeling of being completely happy and alive. Carry it with you throughout the day.

Who among us has not heard of owls and larks? But what do these wonderful, but so different birds have to do with our conversation, you ask. But here's what it has to do with it.

People are conventionally divided into Owls and Larks based on the time they wake up and go to bed.

Who are the Larks? These are people who can wake up in full health with the first ray of sun, and by the time the bulk of the population is just stretching under their feather beds for the first time, they have time to redo a lot of things. These lovely and very active people live according to the well-known proverb “he who gets up early, God gives him.” But as soon as the evening twilight begins, the Larks begin to yawn, they are uncontrollably drawn somewhere closer to the sofa, pillow, blanket and TV. And no wonder - it’s difficult to stay alert at eleven in the evening, jumping out of bed at six in the morning.

Owls live by the principle “early the bird sings, make sure the cat doesn’t eat it” and prefer to get out of bed no earlier than further tracking of the sides becomes almost indecent. Getting an Owl out of bed is not for the faint of heart. These mysterious people seem to be completely irresponsible quitters and lazy people. They can be told until they are stupefied, “It’s time to get up!”, and in response hear the incessant “I’ll get up now!” But they are able to be active until late at night; it costs them nothing to dance in a nightclub until six in the morning. True, then they must sleep until noon to regain lost strength, but that’s a completely different story.

These are pure types, but most often we are a kind of mixed variety of a midnight-midday bird. In principle, we are able to work until late at night or get up at dawn if life or the interests of our loved ones require it from us. We can even adapt to working at night, although this is very harmful both for appearance and for the nervous system.

And yet, the Larks find themselves in the most advantageous position compared to other types. It has been established for a long time that the most beneficial sleep for the body is from 22 to 24 hours. During this period, the body most actively recovers and gains strength. Therefore, no matter what type of bird you consider yourself to be, try to go to bed no later than 11 pm (and even then this is a compromise with yourself) and sleep at least 8 hours. It is this duration of sleep that allows the body to recover most efficiently and get a boost of energy the next day.

Women who take care of themselves do not need to repeat that long sleep is the key to beauty. They already know all this.

But no less important for beauty is a long awakening. Don't be afraid of being called lazy. Sybaritism should be in every woman, regardless of what she does. Manage to carve out at least a few minutes for yourself in the morning, before everyone in your household wakes up and the usual morning chores begin.

Imagine yourself as a Beautiful Lady, allow yourself to be like that. Make your morning not a set of ordinary tasks, but a real ceremony in which every movement, every word matters, and you will soon be convinced that you I want to wake up to quickly begin this fascinating process - the awakening of Sleeping Beauty. And then, when you wake up, your family will see a radiant, magnificent and mysterious woman, and not an incomprehensible creature in a robe and curlers, befuddled by worries...

Hurry up slowly

Yes, you can’t say anything - life makes us spin like a squirrel in a wheel, and there is no end to this race...

We are always running somewhere, in a hurry, afraid of not being in time, not having time, suffering from our own powerlessness, toiling ourselves and tormenting our loved ones. Isn't it time to stop?

Of course, life always requires us to do this or that. Of course, sometimes we are simply not able to cope with everything that falls on our poor heads; Yes, we get tired and fall off our feet from desire and in the desire to embrace the immensity and do everything, but... Let's think sensibly.

Is everything you do really that important? Is the need so great and will the effort you put in be justified by the result obtained? In general, why do you need all this?

You can get overwhelmed and still not get everything you planned. You can not sleep, not eat, not think about anything other than your idea, direct all your strength to its implementation and end up with nothing. Why?

Because life resists any manifestation of idealism and fanaticism. Your desire to become at the same time an ideal mother, wife, employee, boss, neighbor, daughter, sister, etc. is nothing more than a fanatical, persistent pursuit of the ideal. And life proves that the ideal does not exist at all.

Life does not tolerate chaos at all. This is probably the highest plan, that everything should happen in its own time and only as it was intended. Therefore, we can jump out of our own skin and still not achieve what we are fighting for. Or find it, but not in the way you thought and dreamed. Or find it, but not that. When something doesn’t work out for you, you don’t need to double your efforts and strive even more intensely for the goal, just stop and think about what life is trying to tell you by arranging such a huge number of obstacles and hindrances.

In general, logically, any of us can achieve anything. You just need to know exactly how. And first of all, you should not think about what efforts to make and what deadlines to meet, but think about why you have not yet achieved this or that desired position in life.

Any person is capable of independently influencing the events of his life. And for this you don’t have to make any titanic efforts, rush around, trying to get everything done and arrange it in the best possible way. All that is required of you is to forget about the fuss and listen. Listen to yourself, your soul and your inner feeling. Your built-in radar won't let you down, you just have to learn to trust it.

For example, when it seems to you that at any cost you have to “get out into the world”, become a big boss, an indispensable specialist in your enterprise, earn a lot of money, but you just can’t do it, think about it - maybe life is speaking Do you think that it’s not time yet, it’s too early and you’re generally not up to the task?

Or when a woman strives for marriage, she keeps looking for a “suitable” partner, goes through everything, picks and chooses, strives for the ideal, but it still doesn’t exist... Finally, in despair, she marries someone who is “available in stock”, and, Of course, it turns out that this is not at all what is needed. But it was possible to simply wait, and everything would have settled down by itself... He would have been found, the one and only, the one who was born only for her, her soul mate. And she is already married. And dissatisfied with my fate...

What's the conclusion? Less fuss. In the end, life always puts everything in its place.

Take your time to arrange your life, it will arrange itself in a way that suits you perfectly.

The only condition is to treat everything that happens to you with optimism and a firm belief that “everything is for the best.” Know how to smile and be calm, trust your fate. Do not think that you and only you are the ruler of your life. But you can’t let everything take its course, because God has no other hands than yours.

To clarify what has been said, let me remind you of a “bearded” anecdote about a man who every day throughout his life prayed to God to win the lottery. When the archangels got tired of hearing his prayers every day, they turned to God with the question: “Lord, why don’t you answer this man’s prayers?” And do you know what God answered them? “I would happily let him win the lottery. But let him buy at least one lottery ticket!!!”

Know how to hear and correctly interpret the signals that life sends you, do not miss even the most illusory chances, be active and decisive. In moderation. And at the same time, don’t get hung up on any one idea, because life will inevitably prove to you that your model of happiness is not the only one.

It didn’t work out this way, so it will work out differently. If it didn't work out today, it will work out tomorrow. The main thing is to always be prepared for the fact that luck will come to you. And of course, ironically, at the very moment when you least expect it.

But, sad as it is, on the one hand, and wonderful, on the other, the world is full of people. All kinds. Bad and good, evil and kind, honest and deceitful, beautiful and ugly. Not all, but some of them are directly relevant to you. And you need to somehow put up with them, get along, love or hate them, participate in their lives and tolerate their interference in your life, react to them and endure their reactions to you, your words and actions.

It’s sad to realize, but man is a social animal. Without society it cannot exist. Without a society of his own kind, a person ceases to be human and instantly slides somewhere towards primates. Therefore, your first task is to learn to live in such a way as to be a full-fledged “social unit” and feel like one, and at the same time depend as little as possible on the opinions of others.

How do we live? What do we base ourselves on when building our own model of ourselves, our self-esteem and our vision of the world?

If every person on earth lived only alone, without not only family, friends, but also acquaintances, it is unlikely that he would have formed a point of view about himself. We evaluate ourselves according to the criteria that are accepted in our society and among people significant to us. If this or that mental quality is recognized as desirable and positive, then those who possess it automatically become “good”, and those who lack it become “bad”.

And we, delving into ourselves, analyzing our strengths and weaknesses, try to come to some conclusion regarding our character, appearance, behavior and position in “our” group, compare ourselves with others, and this comparison does not always have a positive balance.

Rare people are able to adequately and realistically evaluate themselves. We often sin by exaggerating our positive qualities, taking our weaknesses and shortcomings for granted. But just as often, many of us tend to underestimate ourselves and consider ourselves lower, stupider, and generally worse than others, not noticing our true strengths. If someone comes to the conclusion that his shortcomings or simply the absence of certain qualities significantly exceed the number of advantages, then the assessment given to himself will most likely be underestimated.

So what happens - we don’t give ourselves a truly objective assessment, but we look up to someone else in this important and responsible matter?! But why do we meekly accept this state of affairs?!

Probably because we don’t trust ourselves and our judgments and are used to looking at ourselves through the eyes of other people. We look at other people's assessments like in a mirror, and we see ourselves. And it doesn’t matter to us at all what we really are, the main thing is how others see us.

Only then do we consider ourselves entitled to think of ourselves as “good” or “bad” when this is confirmed by others - in word, deed, or in some other way. And one cannot say that this is wrong. Probably right. Maybe…

However, depending entirely on the attitude of others towards oneself is, to say the least, short-sighted. If you begin to behave this way, you have every chance of losing your individuality and ending up as a puppet in the wrong hands. After all, it’s so tempting - knowing about a person’s suspiciousness and dependence on the opinions of others, make him dance to your tune!

It is much better and smarter to use people’s opinions as a tool for self-improvement. Try it and you will probably like it. Imagine that the people around you are a very large mirror in front of which you are doing your makeup. All flaws, vices and shortcomings are clearly visible; nothing can be hidden. It's so simple - you look in the mirror and learn to see yourself not as you seem, but as you really are.

Know yourself, make peace with yourself and start working. Not immediately, but gradually you will be able to become truly beautiful, but only on the condition that you actually recognize yourself, and not retouch your flaws, hiding them under a mask.

If you are careful, you can learn a lot of new and interesting things about yourself just by observing the reactions of the people around you. What is it for? It’s very simple to explain: we cannot, we simply physically cannot, truly impartially and objectively evaluate ourselves, we love ourselves too much for this. Therefore, other people, even those who are not the most friendly towards us, are absolutely necessary to create a complete and truthful portrait of us. Some will be kind to you, some won't. In India they say: “If the whole village hates a person, he is a bad person. If the whole village loves a person, he is a bad person. You can’t be only good or only bad for everyone.”

It is impossible to please everyone; in any case, there will be someone who will be dissatisfied with you. Your job is not to strive for the ideal, but to ensure that you are perceived adequately to your ideas about yourself. But you should not oppose yourself to society. A challenge is a bad and thankless task.

Only by recognizing yourself, loving yourself along with your entire inner world, can you achieve inner comfort. But in fact, it’s just easy to say - “Love yourself!” Realizing this good intention is much more difficult. Sometimes we naturally have to overcome a lot of obstacles, and most of them are within us.

You should not fight with yourself, trying to become different. You can crush and enslave yourself, or you can free yourself, set yourself free, allow yourself everything. The main thing here is not to rush. Haste will only harm you and make you even more enslaved. Don’t try to force things, allow yourself to go with the flow of life - after all, it’s really interesting to find out what fate has in store for you. Allow yourself to be leisurely and serene; what is destined will come true, and what should not happen will not happen. So why tease fate?

Have you ever thought that the most crushing blows of fate happen when you try to break it, turn the situation in your favor, do what you think is best, and do not pay attention to the signs? In this “battle of the titans,” fate always emerges victorious. She is by definition stronger. And wiser.

Don't rush to do everything your way. If you hurry, you will make fun of fate...

...what beauty is

And why do people deify her?

She is a vessel in which there is emptiness,

Or a fire flickering in a vessel?

ON THE. Zabolotsky

Thus, we see that beauty standards are created by people. And the main thing we want to tell the reader:

YOU CAN BECOME BEAUTIFUL. MORE

THAT EVERY WOMAN IS BORN BEAUTIFUL AND SHE JUST NEEDS

FIND THE BEAUTY IN YOURSELF.

Every society has its own criteria of beauty. Each person is attractive in his own way, each has his own beauty and charm, and, if we are to be sincere, it is unlikely that in our lives we have met a person about whom we could say that everything about him is beautiful without a flaw, because a beautiful person, except a beautiful face, must also have a healthy body, a pure soul.

External beauty is healthy, elastic skin, snow-white teeth, shiny, clean, tastefully combed hair, a trained body.

Sometimes a woman has some minor flaw in her appearance, which it would be even better to call her feature, a highlight, because most often it is this “flaw” that makes her beautiful. But women are accustomed to eradicating in themselves everything that goes beyond the standard created by fashion magazines. But in vain, they risk losing their individuality. You must be able to consider in yourself what sets you apart from others, show it with taste, highlight it and preserve it in appearance.

But a person's beauty is not limited to just his appearance. Beauty is the sister of goodness and morality. This has been known to mankind for a very long time. The ancient Greeks even had a special term - capocagathia, which denoted the harmonious unity of external attractiveness, nobility and civic virtues.

Not only rationality, not only morality, but also beauty are increasingly becoming in our society a criterion for the value of human actions.

Confidence, optimism, desire for integrity, spirituality in thought, intelligence, erudition - the qualities of a beautiful person. Here I would like to recall another poem by N.A. Zabolotsky – “On the beauty of human faces”:

There are faces like lush portals,

Where everywhere the great is seen in the small.

There are faces - like miserable shacks,

Where the liver is cooked and the rennet is soaked.

Other cold dead faces

Closed with bars, like a dungeon.

Others are like towers in which for a long time

Nobody lives and looks out the window.

But I once knew a small hut,

She was unprepossessing, not rich,

But from the windows she looks at me

The breath of a spring day flowed.

Truly the world is both great and wonderful!

There are faces - similarities to jubilant songs.

From these notes, like the sun, shining

A song of heavenly heights has been composed

Indeed, how many women we meet in life who are outwardly polished and dapper, but empty and soulless! They emanate coldness and indifference, and their spiritual life is poor. They are like the moon - they illuminate everything around with a pale light, but do not warm anyone. Even the people closest to them feel cold in their souls next to them.

This means that true beauty is the harmony of external and internal appearance, the combination of a rich soul with pleasant appearance, with self-confidence, the ability to hold on and present oneself.

People have long strived to be beautiful. Songs have been written about female beauty, probably as long as speech has existed. Female images are immortalized in the works of great artists. They were turned into goddesses of beauty and love, like Venus de Milo, and depicted in eternal monuments as companions of omnipotent kings, like Nefertiti. Long historical wars broke out over women, such as over the beautiful Helen. Outstanding poets dreamed about women and wrote their most inspired poems.

The history of beauty is one of the most ancient. Man's desire for beauty was evident already at the dawn of civilization. Of course, each era had its own concept of attractive appearance and the means by which attractiveness should be achieved. People's ideas about beauty were influenced by the nature of their work, everyday life, morality, and, moreover, subjective factors. For example, representatives of one of the Brazilian Indian tribes still paint (tattoo) the skin of their children with black dots and circles, giving it a resemblance to the skin of a jaguar, which is revered as the ancestor of the tribe.

The birthplace of cosmetics is the Ancient East. For the first time, women began to take care of their appearance in Ancient Egypt. Several centuries before the new era, Egyptian priests for ritual purposes used such cosmetic techniques as massage, rubbing the body with incense and nourishing, tonic creams. Egyptian women widely used whitewash, ointments, incense, and plucked and dyed their hair. The concept of beauty in ancient times was closely related to general body hygiene. Hygienic ablutions were elevated to the rank of religious rituals in Islam, Judaism, and Zoroastrianism.

Later, cosmetics developed in the everyday life of Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. In rich houses, “cosmetics” appeared - slaves who adorned the faces and bodies of their masters. Already the Greeks distinguished between cosmetics, which aimed to preserve the beauty of a healthy human body, and cosmetics, which only masked defects that had arisen. The famous physician Hippocrates argued that you can be beautiful only by being healthy, and recommended diet, exercise, swimming in the sea and moderate exposure to the sun to those who strive for external beauty.

Baths were very popular in Ancient Greece and Rome. It was believed that there is nothing more beautiful than the natural beauty given by nature. However, Greek and Roman women still used cosmetic rubs and put on masks at night to look even more beautiful.

The Roman physician and philosopher Claudius Galen created the first systematic textbook on cosmetics. To improve appearance, he recommended gymnastic exercises, massage, walking, daily skin care and bathing in healing springs.

To be physically attractive, looking good is not enough. Many people believe that you are simply born beautiful - these are inherited static qualities. For example, a cute face, good hair, attractive shape. Either you have them or you don't. However, our research shows that there is another type of attractiveness. We called it dynamic.

What is dynamic attractiveness? Perhaps the Beatles said it best: “Something in the way she moves attracts me like no other lover...” (“Something in the way she moves attracts me like no one else...”). In our study, we focused on how
Displays of personality, grace, and body language influence the perception of who is considered attractive and who is not.

Previously, researcher Gordon Allport stated that people are constant in the way they appear in the outside world: how they walk, talk, write, etc. In our research, we also found that emotional people—who spontaneously and vigorously express their positive emotions—are more attractive to others. So we decided to find out how emotional attractiveness affects physical attractiveness.

Attractiveness criteria: experiment

We invited a group of students into the laboratory, where they were photographed and videotaped while they interacted with other people or told something.

We made three assessment groups. The first assessed attractiveness by seeing only the face, the second only the body, and the third paid attention only to clothes. To do this, we processed the photos and videos accordingly - so that each group saw only their “site”.

Another group of judges had to rate overall attractiveness. For example, how much they liked this person, would they like to become friends with him, would they like to start dating, etc. This way we could control for different criteria of attractiveness.

We found that dynamic attractiveness (in the video: how a person speaks, expresses emotions, etc.) received higher ratings than static attractiveness (in the photo: face, body, clothes). We came to the conclusion:

The dynamic expression of individuality (manner of speaking, emotionality, gait) is the main component of a person’s charisma and attractiveness. Moreover, this individual style can compensate for the lack of physical beauty.

In other words, there are many people who are not classically beautiful, but are still attractive to others. We have no control over hereditary beauty, but attractiveness depends not only on it. It consists of both appearance and the unique behavior inherent in a person.