Anything can happen, and sometimes love turns into hatred, because as the famous saying goes: “From love to hate there is one step.” Sometimes, when the phrase “I hate my husband” is spinning in my head, many women begin to blame themselves for this and feel how the marriage is being destroyed. In fact, there is nothing fatal in such emotions, the main thing is to overcome them in time and then you will be regained.

There is no single and unambiguous advice on how to overcome hatred, but there are still many ways in which this problem can be solved. If such a problem as “I hate my husband” begins to bother you every day, you should sit down and calmly weigh everything. You need to determine the reason why this feeling arises, and then try to find a solution to it, because not if you want to understand the problem.

But still, there are some common situations due to which wives hate their husbands. It is worth considering them in order to try to overestimate your personal attitude to the situation as much as possible.

1. It is always worth remembering that a man is a child, and he always remains so. Some men remain at the age of 5, and few manage to reach the age of 16. A woman is a creature who grows up throughout her life, changing her interests, values, rules, etc. If a husband does not know how to react to what his wife does, it is useless to hate him for it, because children sometimes cannot express everything that is inside them. But they are not hated for this, but trained. Perhaps we should try to teach our husband everything again?

2. Sometimes, hating her chosen one, a woman makes his life more comfortable and from this her hatred increases even more, and sometimes reaches the limit. The husband may, on the contrary, try to evoke these emotions to make him feel more comfortable. Therefore, you need to weigh everything carefully. It happens that a woman herself becomes the cause of her own hatred, without completely understanding it!

3. The phrase “I hate my husband” is often heard after his betrayal, because all women know that men are polygamous creatures, but as soon as they stop admitting it. In general, family betrayal on the part of the stronger half is a twofold event. If a man did everything so that his wife would not know anything about it, but she accidentally found out everything, there is no point in silently hating. The marriage will be destroyed not because of infidelity, but because of the hatred that is hidden. It’s better to either dot the i’s or come up with your own solution to the situation. If the situation is such that he knows that his wife is aware, then you can’t hate him all the more, because in this way his pride will increase. It is worth finding either a way to solve the problem or a way to take revenge.

4. If all of the above thoughts did not help get rid of the thought “I hate my husband,” you should continue to think and compare the facts. Sometimes hatred is everyday, and it is the stupidest. The husband can take his favorite place in front of the TV, at the computer, drink from his wife’s favorite cup, etc. Yes, no matter how primitive it may sound, such petty situations cause serious negative emotions, and if you have already realized that hatred is based on everyday life, you need to immediately rein in yourself, switching to some bright and positive moments of family life.

5. “I hate my husband, but I love him,” - how often do women catch themselves thinking such thoughts. And if hatred is precisely at this stage, then there is no need to worry at all. There’s just a slight crisis in the relationship, perhaps because the husband doesn’t pay as much attention as before, doesn’t give compliments or doesn’t give flowers. Don't despair, you just need to renew your romantic relationship!

But if the thought “I hate my husband” does not leave your head from morning to evening and no solutions can be found, you should consult a psychologist or tell your husband about it. Perhaps then life will change for the better or even change radically!

Many people then stop working on relationships because they believe that they have found each other and nothing will change the situation. In fact, this is a serious mistake, since every day families face various trials, which lead to the fact that many women sooner or later think about what to do if you hate your husband. At one point, there is literally a realization that there is a complete stranger nearby, with whom there is nothing in common. This condition can occur temporarily or persist for a long time.

This situation is easy to correct, since the problem is purely emotional in nature. In such a situation, a sincere conversation with your spouse is necessary in order to solve all existing problems and establish contact. Refresh your relationship by bringing back romance and love.

1. To return warm feelings to your relationship, start with your own transformation. Make your husband fall in love again, which will motivate him to take action.
2. Remember past experiences and feelings, think about relationships in this romantic vein.
3. Psychologists recommend conducting an analysis and determining at what exact moment the feeling of hatred first appeared. Determining the cause will allow you to fix everything.
4. For many, an emotional shake-up, both positive and negative, helps restore warmth in a relationship. Thrills can be obtained through extreme sports, for example, by jumping from a parachute.
5. Introduce new traditions into the family, for example, give each other compliments and praise even for minor things. Pleasant words have an inspiring effect, which will make both of them want to save.

Why do I always hate my husband?

Many women are faced with a situation where any action of their spouse causes irritation and all his advantages turn into disadvantages. This often occurs when a baby is born or other major changes occur. This is a very serious situation and nothing can be fixed with a romantic dinner. Here you need the help of a specialist, so go to an appointment with a psychologist. Only a deep analysis of the situation will allow you to find the roots of the problem and understand how to stop hating your husband. If all else fails, then it is better to decide on a divorce, because the longer the problem drags on, the more difficult it will be to leave on good terms, which is especially important if there are children.

Love... Sparks of passion, tender kisses, reverent confessions...

A long-awaited proposal and a happy “Yes!”, a magnificent wedding - and vows to remain faithful and to be together forever. And in sorrow and in joy…

How many years have passed? Most likely, not so many, maybe five or ten... As a rule, crises in families arise precisely at this time.

But a couple who have been together for more than ten years have every chance of a long and happy life. And so you sit in front of the monitor, wipe your tears and write a strange, illogical, frightening, wild phrase in the search bar: “I hate my husband”...

How did this happen? Is it really true that from love to raging hatred is just one step? Is it really he – the one whose beautiful and beloved face you couldn’t stop looking at?

Whose smell was most familiar to you and drove you crazy? Whose smile made you forget about all the troubles and adversities? Whose tender words made you the happiest... And how many times did you say, quite sincerely, the cherished “I love you”?

What happened?

Hatred is a powerful negative emotion that is almost impossible to cope with. Of course, if it arose, and even to a person whom you once loved, it is not without reason.

And if love is unconditional, and sometimes arises for no apparent reason, then hatred must be earned. So what did he do? If you look at it, there can be only four main reasons:

• He didn't live up to expectations.
• He cheated, he deceived.
• I fell out of love.
• Seriously offends and poisons life.

The first case seems to be the most harmless - but it occurs most often. This is the very case when a woman hates her husband because she herself suddenly stopped loving him. Nonsense? And this is true...

You turned out to be different...

This is very painful to understand, like any real truth. We build illusions and always expect something - this is the main mistake people make. Then it is unclear what to do - because expectations are almost never met.

And the wisdom contained in the understanding that one should not expect, but enjoy and create, comes later. When it’s too late and it seems like nothing can be changed. But we must somehow continue to live...

What if this family already has children? The statistics are scary and inexorable: 8 out of 10 marriages break up. This is a fact, not fiction! Why, because love is so pure and beautiful at the first stage of a relationship? Why does love develop into hatred, and how to live if you hate your own husband?

First of all, if your spouse objectively doesn’t do anything bad (doesn’t drink alcohol, doesn’t hit you, doesn’t cheat on you), then you should seriously think about where the problem “grows” from. Have you stopped loving him? Didn't he turn out the way you wanted? It may very well be.

Is he to blame for this? Essentially exactly the same as you yourself. What to do now with all this disgrace? This is already a serious question...

What to do in this situation?

Of course, the wisest decision would be to save the family. If possible, do it this way. Find the strength within yourself to overcome hatred - and cultivate in your heart, if not love, then appreciation, gratitude and tolerance.

Someone other than you chose this person and forcibly dragged him down the aisle? It’s unlikely... Learn to take responsibility for your actions. Moreover, they are so important.

A huge fatal mistake of modern people is the misconception that marriage is a mere formality. And you can get divorced and remarried ten times.

But few people think that marriage is a sacred mystical ritual that affects our destiny on a subtle level and completely changes it. A simple stamp in a passport and a signature on a piece of paper is a very powerful thing.

And just getting a divorce is technically possible, but it will leave an imprint on your future fate. And very serious.

Are such concepts as fidelity, chastity, mutual respect invented in vain, by some fools? And here is a direct and simple answer to all questions regarding marriage and problems in it.

Happy, without a doubt, is the family in which a wise woman lives. A wise woman has a lot of qualities, but the main thing is – do you know what? Learn to believe and understand that the best man for her is her husband.

At this point, many ladies will click contemptuously and say: “You don’t know my husband yet!” And they will be wrong. This is the true wisdom - to love him a year after the wedding, two, five, ten and fifty... A man who is always loved and expected at home will never be “bad”.

Treason is a reason for hatred!

Of course, this is a completely different case. How to live with your husband after betrayal, deception, betrayal?

Every offended woman exclaims: “What should I do if I hate my husband who cheated on me?”

Hatred is a natural reaction to such a tragedy in the family. How to live after betrayal and deception?

Here it is incredibly difficult for a woman to continue to control herself and try to “love him back”, this is not the case. If cheating has started, the situation is already serious, and a simple conversation will not do. But do not rush to pour out your hatred on your spouse.

A mistress is a terrible sentence for a wife. It is almost impossible to forgive, and there will be no more trust after betrayal.

But something needs to be done, because it is impossible to continue to hate and live with a deceiver, a traitor under one common roof, burning with hatred and poisoning him! And more often than not, separation is the best option.

Are you ready for this? Of course, when we are overwhelmed by emotions and hatred, we can mess things up - and we are not afraid of the consequences. But think carefully, are you ready to break up after so many years of marriage? Of course, if you are sure that this is the case, do not delay the decision. You need to be able to put a point.

But if your heart tells you that you shouldn’t destroy your family, don’t rush! Perhaps you can fix everything? After all, a woman is powerful, and she can achieve real accomplishments if she just wants to.

Do you want to live with your husband, overcome your hatred and cultivate good, bright feelings in yourself? If yes, then you can.

You just have to stop thinking “I hate my husband” and start changing your thoughts. It's very difficult. Understand why he cheats and what he is looking for on the side, what the other woman gives him - and after that begin to change.

After betrayal, it is incredibly difficult to concentrate and switch from emotions to logical thinking, but it must be done. If you decide to save your relationship, go for it.

He fell out of love...

It sounds so scary that you want to immediately fearfully knock on wood and cross yourself. For every woman this is a death sentence - and hatred here is a simple defensive reaction.

An abandoned, unloved, unwanted woman feels broken and often does not find the strength to live and breathe, only to hate. Aggression and hatred save, give strength - and help cope with pain, as it seems. But it only seems so...

A kind of sweet masochism that can last for several months, completely destroying a woman, literally burning her from the inside. The problem is that being in a state of hatred, your feminine essence is really destroyed - and the consequences will be disastrous.

The destructive power of hatred

A woman who hates her husband loses her beauty and youth, her energy becomes less pure and attractive to others.

Accordingly, suffering in suffering and hatred for a man, a woman excludes for herself the chances of finding a worthy man in the future. Is it worth doing? Of course no.

Instead, you need to start living in a new way. Divorce from your husband - peacefully, without drama. Wish him happiness – mentally and from the heart. And start a new life, which will definitely be happy!

Please remember just one thing: a person who has hatred in his heart will never be truly happy.

So eradicate this feeling, fill your heart with love - learn to love animals, children, nature, the whole world around you. And then love will begin to attract itself to you, believe me!

But please, under no circumstances hold a grudge against your ex-husband after the divorce. The very attitude “I hate my ex-husband” is a guarantee that men will subconsciously be repulsed by you. As long as you have hatred for the stronger sex, no one will love you.

There is something to hate...

Alas, there are situations in which a woman hates her husband for very good reasons. In addition to hatred, there is also fear. And also - confusion and lack of understanding of how to live with this person.

In some families, there are domestic tyrants - men who poison the lives of their loved ones. They offend, seriously insult, humiliate and even, what’s terrible, beat. And this sometimes continues for years.

The irony is that such families last longer than those in which the problems are rather far-fetched and easier to solve peacefully. Often a woman herself comes up with problems and makes things up, exaggerates and dramatizes, and because of small conflicts, she destroys the family.

But in such truly serious cases, many women remain in the family. And at the same time they say that they don’t want to leave him - after all, the husband, his dear one, beats him - that means he loves him... And other strange things.

Fear is the main obstacle in these cases. In other situations, a woman acts as an aggressor, shouts “I hate my husband,” destroys and overthrows everything in her path without even looking - and she knows no fear.

And in a family where the aggressor is a man, the woman’s hatred is different - hidden, deaf, hidden far away and mixed with panic fear. The mixture is poisonous.

The terrible tragedy is that women leave such families less often than those in which everything can be improved. Namely, from such a family, where the husband allows himself to be a tyrant, you need to run away without looking back - and not even hope that everything will come to its senses.

It is best not to be afraid and contact a special support service for victims of domestic violence - these services are available in all cities. Professional psychologists help women who are hostage to an unsuccessful marriage for free.

Remember that hating your husband does not mean solving the problem! If living with him is dangerous, the only way out is to leave!

Continue to hate?

What to do is always up to you. And here your decision is not so important as your internal state. This may seem frivolous, but the outcome of the matter depends on the content of your soul.

Hatred towards your own spouse is an absolutely unnatural phenomenon. After betrayal, betrayal, disappointment, quarrels... Resentment and bitterness may arise, but not hatred.

Hating your husband is not normal. Understand this and do everything you can to deal with it. Namely, to eradicate this hatred with all our might.

Even if he is to blame at least a thousand times, hatred harms you and affects your destiny. And also for health, because emotions are directly related to how we feel.

Wishing harm to someone, and even more so to your husband, is very wrong and destructive for yourself. It's a shame that few people think about this. Whether you decide to stay in the family or separate, your task is to stop hating.

How to do this in practice?

What to do if hatred rolls up to your throat like a hot wave, and you just want to curse? You need to learn to control your emotional background - this will be very useful for a woman. Meditation will come to the rescue.

Sit in a comfortable position - any position so that your back is straight and your body is relaxed. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and notice your inhalation and exhalation.

To get rid of thoughts and stop the ringing internal dialogue, direct all your attention to your breathing - count the seconds of inhalation and exhalation. When you manage to concentrate and calm down a little, start meditating.

First, smile at yourself. Mentally, with kindness - just greet yourself, cheer yourself up with a smile. Then mentally greet the entire house you are in, the entire street, your entire neighborhood, and then the city.

In your thoughts, smile at your city, your country, and then at the whole Earth. Smile with your face, even if it’s through force - do it.

Then direct the smile into your heart - with the effort of your thoughts, as if lower the smile from your face to the solar plexus area. It will immediately become warm there, strong emotions may arise, tears may even flow - don’t be afraid.

Then focus on your hatred. Look at her from the outside, calmly. Listen - where is it? Yes, yes, all emotions are concentrated in some place in our body! You may feel hatred in your stomach, or perhaps in your knees, anywhere, but you will feel it very clearly.

Focus on this very place and begin to breathe deeply, imagining how with each exhalation this hatred flows out of you and seeps into the ground. Do this until all of it “flows” out of you.

Don't stop at just hatred. Do the same with fear, anger, resentment, pity... Do not waste time - you are doing very serious spiritual work, and you will not regret it if you try.

Know how to actualize emotions - understand what exactly you feel and work with them, dear ones. In any case, this will be very, very useful and good.

If you do this wonderful and completely simple meditation practice for at least two weeks, every day, then your life will quickly change, you will become much calmer and easier. You will be able to start another life, a new one, and bright, pleasant events will appear in it.

Remember - hatred poisons the life not only of the person at whom it is directed, but above all of yourself. Therefore, learn to manage your emotions and let into your heart only those that bring joy and health, will not destroy you, but, on the contrary, will make you better.

It’s easy to hate and sometimes even pleasant, but try to love – undeservedly, unselfishly, without demanding anything at all in return. Then your life will move to a completely different level. Don’t hesitate... Author: Vasilina Serova

Hello. I have been living with my husband for 3 years. The child is 2 years old. I began to catch myself thinking that I hate my husband. Without meaning to, during quarrels I wish him death. He just offends me so much... I know that this is not right, but I can’t help it. He is a very angry person. During quarrels, she remembers all my mistakes (every little thing - I said the wrong thing, looked the wrong way - although in most cases this did not happen. He turns all my words around and interprets everything in his favor. I turn out to be “shit” and he is a saint. At the slightest my resistance (I begin to respond to his offensive words) he begins to swing, a couple of times I even got it. So now I’m silent. He killed everything in me - and most importantly, he sometimes yells at him, even though he’s small, I protect the baby. as much as I can, in the end I turn out to be a bad mother. She will harbor a grudge, then she will take revenge. She will definitely express it at the right opportunity. Today I was going down the stairs with my baby, and he raised his hand at me - he says I’m a bad mother because my son is jumping and might fall. It turned out again - he is such a caring dad that if this happens again, he will kill me. My husband is 7 years older than me. You can’t even imagine how I regret that I married him. Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine how I would live without him. I've never met him. He behaves rudely to everyone. When we walk I feel so ashamed - he goes and spits and blows his nose. Previously, I perceived his rudeness as masculine strength. I haven’t told him about my family for a long time, because during quarrels he starts telling me - and your mother..... And your father.... And swearing. Life has taught me a lot. I don't tell him what's inside me. Because then everything turns against me. I cannot leave him because I depend on him financially. And his son loves him. He's not always such a freak as I described him. In my soul I have such resentment, such pain. The mother-in-law also adds fuel to the fire - you will find a husband for yourself, but you will never find a father for your son. She is a mother and knows her son. He curses at her too. In general, I can’t decide to leave him. That’s why these thoughts come to me: if I died, I’d cry, and life would become easier....... My husband tells me that I’m like cheese in butter. And he bought me a car and an apartment and he earns well. And that he is perfect for me - he doesn’t drink often, doesn’t cheat, and is always at home after work. Yes it is. But behind this, this is happening;... I don’t know what to do.

Hello, Aya! It is difficult to live with a person if you feel hatred towards him in your soul. Sooner or later you will need to make a choice. If you push your negative feelings inside, without giving them a way out, without talking about them, then your health will deteriorate - both mental and physical. Not to mention how all this will affect the child. You need to gather courage and voice your position to your husband - that you do not like his treatment of you and your child, that you are asking him to change his attitude towards you. Even if you make mistakes - and who does not make them - this is not a reason to raise a hand against you and humiliate you with words. You must know your rights. It seems that the husband developed this attitude towards women in his parental family, because his mother also experiences this. Therefore, your husband does not know other models of relationships in the family. You will either have to put up with this or decide to divorce him, become independent, go to work, turn to your relatives for support. In the end, you are not an orphan, you have relatives and relatives. Turn to them for support, at least so that they know what kind of oppression you are subjected to in your husband’s family. From the outside it may seem to them that everything is fine, your husband provides, and you really roll like cheese in butter, but for this butter you pay too high a price. As for the child, the husband will always be his father, whether you are with him or not, the role of the father has not been canceled. If he loves his son, he will provide for him or pay child support. You live in a situation of domestic violence and this has a negative impact on the child. Moreover, the son, having become an adult, can do the same in relation to his girlfriends. For example, in the West, for such behavior, a husband could end up in prison for beatings and he would not be allowed to approach you closer than 3 meters. This is what I want you to know about your rights and the rights of the child. Don't be afraid to defend yourself, you have every right to do so. Financial dependence on a husband does not give him any right to violence. Threaten him that if he raises his hand again, contact the forensic medical examiner and have the beatings removed or call the police. Get out of the role of the victim, you are no longer a little girl. Contact crisis centers for women in our city. Good luck to you!

Kaydarova Asel Abdu-Alievna, psychologist Almaty

Hello Aya, I really sympathize with your difficult situation.

“I can’t leave him because I depend on him financially. And my son loves him.” - Aya, what do you want? try to weigh for yourself how much more you are willing to endure, what you endure, how much do all the positive moments of your life (your son loves your father, you are financially secure) outweigh your hatred of him? What is this relationship for you? Can you already find something within this relationship that would encourage you? Are there any positive aspects in your relationship that satisfy you at least a little?

"He killed everything in me - and most importantly ME." - what does this mean to you? How are you experiencing this? How did it happen that you allowed your husband to kill you? what did you need it for? What do you ultimately want from life? In my opinion, it is very important to understand yourself, why do you live the way you do? Why did you create the life you have now? what you want to change and what you really have resources for, maybe even those that you yourself don’t know about yet. All this requires additional research. After you understand yourself, perhaps a decision will come about what to do. If you can’t handle it yourself, I can help you with your question.

Sincerely, Elena.

Begunova Elena Leonidovna, psychologist Almaty

Hello Aya!
You write I cannot leave him because I depend on him financially.- in my opinion, this is not adult-like. You have a head on your shoulders, arms and legs, which means you can earn a living for yourself and your child. Another question is that this amount may be less than you are used to having while married. But it's a matter of choice. At the moment, you choose material security when you are dissatisfied with your life. It's neither good nor bad, it's just your choice. But like any choice, there are consequences, so keep that in mind. Solomon said " Better is a dish of greens and with it love, than a fattened bull and with it there is hatred." What will you choose?

Bondareva Svetlana Pavlovna, psychologist Almaty

I’m 30 years old today. On Saturday, I sat with my husband in absentia in a cafe. Yesterday evening he got drunk on his beer again and sat and watched a movie. I say, oh, tomorrow is my birthday, and as always you will sleep until one o’clock in the afternoon, and I have two children, and there will be no flowers or coffee in bed.

Well, as a matter of fact, this is true. He works at home and rarely goes to the office. He always gets as much sleep as he wants, and I get up in the morning, wash the youngest, change diapers, feed them and continue with the chores at home. He doesn't help me around the house at all. NO dishes, no cooking, no anything. It’s customary in their family that the woman should do everything. I understand when the husband is at work from morning to night. BUT mine gets up at one or two in the afternoon, goes to bed at 3-4. He gets up at one o'clock, I make him breakfast, he goes to his office to work. He finishes at 8 and sits and plays games.

God, why can’t you at least get your ass up early on my anniversary, let me sleep, wake up the children, feed them, buy me flowers. I'm so upset! I remember my last birthday, my youngest daughter was still a baby, two months old, then he left us to sleep in the hallway on the sofa so that she wouldn’t disturb him, and all nights in a row I ran around with her in my arms, a restless child, colic, well, everything they know what it is. And that was also my birthday. I didn’t sleep all night with my little one, the day before I asked him to buy me flowers, I love white roses. Fig. I get up, he is sleeping. And he hears me walking, and doesn’t get up. He breathes out. I was hysterical then, I was sobbing in the bathroom. He slept through the alarm clock and my flowers.

And now... I woke up, I need to change my daughter’s diaper from sleep, I tell the eldest, go tell dad (he’s sleeping in his office) to change the diaper, she went and told him, and he said, let mom get up and change it. And then he slept. I got up, washed, changed, fed everyone. There was a mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, empty beer bottles in my husband’s room. I went into his room to connect the Internet to the network, he yelled that you were opening the doors so loudly! I snapped and the answer is Bitch! How you gave me away! This is my birthday anniversary.

I’m writing all sorts of nonsense now, but it hurts me so much, it’s so offensive! Damn, why is it that when I walk across my face, or at a corporate party, men turn their heads (I’m not lying now and I’m not inflating my worth), in my life there were hundreds of porn fans who showered me with flowers, took me away to fireworks in the middle of the night, made all sorts of surprises. I'm used to attention, I know that God gave me beauty by nature. I am a good housewife, I always have plenty of food prepared and my apartment is cleaned. And I’m so offended that I married a man who doesn’t need all this. I don’t feel like a woman next to him. I'm a man, a tranny, anything but a woman. Now he came over, let's make peace. But I can not. The whole house is always on me, a three-room apartment, the entire household and two small children who do not yet go to kindergarten. Is it really so difficult to arrange a fasting day for your wife at least once a year, or at least in the morning? At such moments, I hate him and really think about going on a dating site and finding a lover. I know that such thoughts will pass later, but now it hurts.