Ivan Podushkin had no intention of getting involved in another investigation! He just gave a nice old lady named Stefania a ride home - she fell, breaking her heel, right next to his car. And, as if by the law of meanness, he discovered in her cozy kitchen... the corpse of an unknown woman! Ivan’s best friend, police investigator Max Voronov, was simply shocked at the sight of the things found in the deceased’s bag - a syringe, a knife and a burgundy scarf! These are the “tools of labor” of the maniac that Max missed at the beginning of his career! Now Voronov will try his best, but will find out whether the maniac and his victims are connected with Stefania’s family. And who will help him if not Podushkin, because Tefi already considers him best friend? The lady asked Ivan to visit the unfinished house in which she wants to purchase an apartment. There Tefi decided to inspect the unlit storage room. Vanechka bravely stepped into complete darkness and suddenly... flew down somewhere!

Darya Dontsova

His Majesty's Secret Relationship

Chapter 1

A person who wants to make your life wonderful will most likely turn it into unbearable...

Vanya, go and drink some tea! - came from the kitchen.

“Thank you, I don’t want to,” I shouted back.

A loud stomp was heard, the door to the office swung open without knocking, and appeared on the threshold female figure, wrapped in a dark blue flannelette robe with a pattern of piercing green roses. The wonderful robe was decorated with a collar knitted from red bobbin threads, the same cuffs and a wide border sewn to the hem. The head of the lady, dressed in such an original way, was covered with a scarf, and I knew that under it was hidden such a rare thing as round iron curlers with yellow elastic bands.

Vanyashka! You have to have an afternoon snack, otherwise you’ll get an ulcer,” said the woman who came in. - Our neighbor over there, Vanka Lukov, drank, walked around in the dark, cooked some rubbish from the garden, then sniffed it, or maybe ate it, I didn’t spy on him. And what? He died at twenty-six years old. Why did it burn out so early? There is only one answer: I ate irregularly, which means that fats, proteins and carbohydrates did not enter the body in sufficient quantities. He was your namesake! Think about it, Vanyashka!

I looked up from the book.

Thank you, Tanya, but it’s time for me to run.

Did you soap yourself up at the hospital? - Tatyana was curious. - Do me a favor and grab a parcel for Polinka.

Of course,” I readily agreed.

Tatyana turned around and hurried to the kitchen, the curlers on her head, knocking against each other, made a quiet tinkling sound.

I sighed. When was the last time I met a lady wearing metal curlers? That is, I know what is right - in curlers. But... Maybe in childhood? It seems that my nanny Taisiya, now Nicoletta’s housekeeper, used these. Mama never wandered around the apartment looking like this, she always got her hair done at the hairdresser. I wonder what they're resorting to modern women to do your hair at home? Nika Safronova, with whom I recently broke up, had some kind of thing in the bathroom that resembled tongs, and she used it to curl her hair. It seems that Nikusha called this thing an iron. But, apparently, in the city of Bogdanovsk, where the family of Tanya and Ilya Podushkin came from, the ladies still wear metal curlers and monstrous flannelette robes.

Vanya, the package is in the hallway! - Tatyana shouted from the kitchen. - The tray of meat should be put in the hospital refrigerator, the soup too, and under no circumstances should you put the pie in the cold, it will become disgusting.

Sighing again, I picked up my bag and headed down the hall. Tanya came there next, and the instructions continued:

Be sure to hold the bag by both handles, otherwise it will break and the jars will break. Put the meat in the cold, the cabbage soup too, and leave the cheesecake with jam in Polina’s nightstand.

I started tying my shoes.

“The meat will go rotten at room temperature,” Ilya’s wife muttered the same thing, “the first thing will rot from the heat in the ward.” They need coolness. And here…

Tanyusha, you already explained all this to me,” I stopped her.

And what? - she grinned. - A man, like a little child, needs to put it in his ears a hundred times so that he remembers. You are silent, don’t answer, which means you’re thinking about your own things, planning how to whistle with your friends on a fishing trip this weekend. Well, have you figured out what to do with the beef?

Don’t worry,” I assured, “I won’t let you down.”

Yes, Vanya, you are a responsible person,” Tanya praised me. - Thank you for everything you do for us.

I was embarrassed, awkwardly took the bag by one handle, and it naturally came off. Tatyana managed to catch him and said reproachfully:

I told you that you need to take it by both hands... Okay, I’ll give you a cloth bag. I will bring it now. “She ran away, returned a couple of seconds later and commanded: “Come on, put everything here.”

A person who wants to make your life wonderful will most likely turn it into unbearable...

- Vanya, go and drink some tea! - came from the kitchen.

“Thank you, I don’t want to,” I shouted back.

A loud stomp was heard, the door to the office swung open without knocking, and a female figure appeared on the threshold, wrapped in a dark blue flannelette robe with a pattern of piercing green roses. The wonderful robe was decorated with a collar knitted from red bobbin threads, the same cuffs and a wide border sewn to the hem. The head of the lady, dressed in such an original way, was covered with a scarf, and I knew that under it was hidden such a rare thing as round iron curlers with yellow elastic bands.

- Vanyashka! You have to have an afternoon snack, otherwise you’ll get an ulcer,” said the woman who came in. - Our neighbor over there, Vanka Lukov, was drinking, walking around in the dark, cooking some rubbish from the garden, then sniffing it, or maybe eating it, I didn’t spy on him. And what? He died at twenty-six years old. Why did it burn out so early? There is only one answer: I ate irregularly, which means that fats, proteins and carbohydrates did not enter the body in sufficient quantities. He was your namesake! Think about it, Vanyashka!

I looked up from the book.

- Thank you, Tanya, but it’s time for me to run.

- Did you go to the hospital? – Tatyana was curious. – Do me a favor and grab a parcel for Polinka.

“Of course,” I readily agreed.

Tatyana turned around and hurried to the kitchen, the curlers on her head, knocking against each other, made a quiet tinkling sound.

I sighed. When was the last time I met a lady wearing metal curlers? That is, I know what is right - in curlers. But... Maybe in childhood? It seems that my nanny Taisiya, now Nicoletta’s housekeeper, used these. Mama never wandered around the apartment looking like this, she always got her hair done at the hairdresser. I wonder what modern women resort to to do their hair at home? Nika Safronova, with whom I recently broke up, had some kind of thing in the bathroom that resembled tongs, and she used it to curl her hair. It seems that Nikusha called this thing an iron. But, apparently, in the city of Bogdanovsk, where the family of Tanya and Ilya Podushkin came from, the ladies still wear metal curlers and monstrous flannelette robes.

- Vanya, the package is in the hallway! – Tatyana shouted from the kitchen. – The tray of meat should be put in the hospital refrigerator, the soup too, and under no circumstances should you put the pie in the cold, it will become disgusting.

Sighing again, I picked up my bag and headed down the hall. Tanya came there next, and the instructions continued:

“Be sure to hold the bag by both handles, otherwise it will break and the jars will break.” Put the meat in the cold, the cabbage soup too, and leave the cheesecake with jam in Polina’s nightstand.

I started tying my shoes.

“The meat will go rotten at room temperature,” Ilya’s wife muttered over and over again, “the first one will rot from the heat in the room.” They need coolness. And here…

“Tanyusha, you already explained all this to me,” I stopped her.

- And what? – she grinned. “A man, like a little child, needs to put it in his ears a hundred times so that he remembers.” You are silent, don’t answer, which means you’re thinking about your own things, planning how to whistle with your friends on a fishing trip this weekend. Well, have you figured out what to do with the beef?

“Don’t worry,” I assured, “I won’t let you down.”

“Yes, Vanya, you are a responsible person,” Tanya praised me. - Thank you for everything you do for us.

I was embarrassed, awkwardly took the bag by one handle, and it naturally came off. Tatyana managed to catch him and said reproachfully:

“I told you, you have to take it by both hands... Okay, I’ll give you a cloth bag.” I will bring it now. “She ran away, returned a couple of seconds later and commanded: “Come on, put everything here.”

I looked at the creepy, poisonous pink bag, on which something was written in hieroglyphs, and tried to resist:

– Maybe it’s better to take another package?

“No, Vanyashka, you’ll tear it apart too,” Ilya’s wife objected sternly. “And then I’ll be calm about the food.” By the way, take the empty cans and don’t leave them in Polina’s nightstand.

“Definitely,” I humbly promised and went into the yard to the car.

Before I had time to approach my car, Tatyana’s loud order came from above:

- Vanyashka! Grab the empty bottles, they are convenient, half-liter!

I raised my head, saw a figure in a robe on the balcony and waved.

- Don't forget the lids! – Tanya strained. – You can’t buy plastic ones anymore, but there are no better ones! Vanya, do you hear?

I cowardly pulled my head into my shoulders, jumped behind the wheel and quickly took off from a standing start. I hope that none of the residents of the old, carefully restored house, in which there are not even ten apartments, saw or heard Tatyana. And he didn’t notice me with a poisonous pink bag in my hands. It’s not that I’m embarrassed by my unexpected relatives, I’m just uncomfortable in front of strangers - in our house it’s somehow not customary to shout instructions from the balcony.

As soon as I reached the avenue, I exhaled. Well, now we need to explain what events happened in the life of Mr. Podushkin and why Ilya and Tatyana suddenly appeared in his apartment.

A few months ago, Eleanor asked me to help her with something. I couldn’t refuse the former owner, I completed her task and felt like a complete idiot. By God, I don’t have the slightest desire to remember those events, I’ll just say that for a whole week I didn’t know what to do, and when I finally decided to talk seriously with Nora and came to her in the evening for a conversation, I saw that she was feeling bad: she I could barely unlock the door for me and didn’t even sit down, but seemed to slide onto a chair in the hallway. I was afraid. And Eleanor suddenly had one corner of her mouth creep up, she smiled crookedly, her eyes became childish and somehow uncomprehending. That’s when I got extremely scared and rushed to call an ambulance. Alas, I have already seen such a naively apologetic expression on the face of my father, the writer Pavel Podushkin, when he had a stroke.

That day I immediately called the doctors. On the way to the hospital, where I went in a car with a flashing light with my dad, I remember I said to the middle-aged doctor:

“Look, father is smiling, which means he’s not in pain.”

She just sighed heavily, pretending that she had not heard my words. And a day later I learned: such a one-sided smile on the part of someone struck by a blow does not bode well...

Eleanor was quickly placed in intensive care, then transferred to a regular ward. She is better now and is learning to walk and talk again. My former owner is a fighter by nature and has already been rehabilitated once after a stroke, so I am sure that she will get back on her feet now. I visit Nora every other day, tell her about the cases that our detective agency is involved in.

Yes, yes, I live in my luxurious new multi-room apartment, in the building opposite Eleanor’s house, and while she recovers, I work with clients. In Nora’s desk there was a general power of attorney addressed to Ivan Pavlovich Podushkin; I have the right to manage the accounts of the agency owner and sign any documents for her. When I came to the clinic, I didn’t start any conversations about the Vinivitinov-Belsky princes, which I intended to talk about when I found Nora in a serious condition. And, as I now understand, I will never start one. God grant Nora to live many more years, and the stress that the clarification of our relationship will inevitably cause will certainly harm her greatly.

Darya Dontsova

His Majesty's Secret Relationship

A person who wants to make your life wonderful will most likely turn it into unbearable...

- Vanya, go and drink some tea! - came from the kitchen.

“Thank you, I don’t want to,” I shouted back.

I looked up from the book.

- Thank you, Tanya, but it’s time for me to run.

- Did you go to the hospital? – Tatyana was curious. – Do me a favor and grab a parcel for Polinka.

“Of course,” I readily agreed.

Tatyana turned around and hurried to the kitchen, the curlers on her head, knocking against each other, made a quiet tinkling sound.

I sighed. When was the last time I met a lady wearing metal curlers? That is, I know what is right - in curlers. But... Maybe in childhood? It seems that my nanny Taisiya, now Nicoletta’s housekeeper, used these. Mama never wandered around the apartment looking like this, she always got her hair done at the hairdresser. I wonder what modern women resort to to do their hair at home? Nika Safronova, with whom I recently broke up, had some kind of thing in the bathroom that resembled tongs, and she used it to curl her hair. It seems that Nikusha called this thing an iron. But, apparently, in the city of Bogdanovsk, where the family of Tanya and Ilya Podushkin came from, the ladies still wear metal curlers and monstrous flannelette robes.

Sighing again, I picked up my bag and headed down the hall. Tanya came there next, and the instructions continued:

I started tying my shoes.

“The meat will go rotten at room temperature,” Ilya’s wife muttered over and over again, “the first one will rot from the heat in the room.” They need coolness. And here…

“Tanyusha, you already explained all this to me,” I stopped her.

“Don’t worry,” I assured, “I won’t let you down.”

“Yes, Vanya, you are a responsible person,” Tanya praised me. - Thank you for everything you do for us.

I was embarrassed, awkwardly took the bag by one handle, and it naturally came off. Tatyana managed to catch him and said reproachfully:

I looked at the creepy, poisonous pink bag, on which something was written in hieroglyphs, and tried to resist:

– Maybe it’s better to take another package?

“Definitely,” I humbly promised and went into the yard to the car.

Before I had time to approach my car, Tatyana’s loud order came from above:

- Vanyashka! Grab the empty bottles, they are convenient, half-liter!

Darya Dontsova

His Majesty's Secret Relationship

A person who wants to make your life wonderful will most likely turn it into unbearable...

- Vanya, go and drink some tea! - came from the kitchen.

“Thank you, I don’t want to,” I shouted back.

I looked up from the book.

- Thank you, Tanya, but it’s time for me to run.

- Did you go to the hospital? – Tatyana was curious. – Do me a favor and grab a parcel for Polinka.

“Of course,” I readily agreed.

Tatyana turned around and hurried to the kitchen, the curlers on her head, knocking against each other, made a quiet tinkling sound.

I sighed. When was the last time I met a lady wearing metal curlers? That is, I know what is right - in curlers. But... Maybe in childhood? It seems that my nanny Taisiya, now Nicoletta’s housekeeper, used these. Mama never wandered around the apartment looking like this, she always got her hair done at the hairdresser. I wonder what modern women resort to to do their hair at home? Nika Safronova, with whom I recently broke up, had some kind of thing in the bathroom that resembled tongs, and she used it to curl her hair. It seems that Nikusha called this thing an iron. But, apparently, in the city of Bogdanovsk, where the family of Tanya and Ilya Podushkin came from, the ladies still wear metal curlers and monstrous flannelette robes.

Sighing again, I picked up my bag and headed down the hall. Tanya came there next, and the instructions continued:

I started tying my shoes.

“The meat will go rotten at room temperature,” Ilya’s wife muttered over and over again, “the first one will rot from the heat in the room.” They need coolness. And here…

“Tanyusha, you already explained all this to me,” I stopped her.

“Don’t worry,” I assured, “I won’t let you down.”

“Yes, Vanya, you are a responsible person,” Tanya praised me. - Thank you for everything you do for us.

I was embarrassed, awkwardly took the bag by one handle, and it naturally came off. Tatyana managed to catch him and said reproachfully:

I looked at the creepy, poisonous pink bag, on which something was written in hieroglyphs, and tried to resist:

– Maybe it’s better to take another package?

“Definitely,” I humbly promised and went into the yard to the car.

Before I had time to approach my car, Tatyana’s loud order came from above:

- Vanyashka! Grab the empty bottles, they are convenient, half-liter!

I raised my head, saw a figure in a robe on the balcony and waved.

- Don't forget the lids! – Tanya strained. – You can’t buy plastic ones anymore, but there are no better ones! Vanya, do you hear?

As soon as I reached the avenue, I exhaled. Well, now we need to explain what events happened in the life of Mr. Podushkin and why Ilya and Tatyana suddenly appeared in his apartment.

That day I immediately called the doctors. On the way to the hospital, where I went in a car with a flashing light with my dad, I remember I said to the middle-aged doctor:

“Look, father is smiling, which means he’s not in pain.”

She just sighed heavily, pretending that she had not heard my words. And a day later I learned: such a one-sided smile on the part of someone struck by a blow does not bode well...

About two weeks after Eleanor found herself in a hospital bed, a call came to my apartment. I opened the door, saw a man in a cheap Chinese jacket, a woman in an old-fashioned one, too warm for spring drape coat, a child of nine or ten years old, and decided that these people had the wrong address. But he didn’t have time to say anything. The father of the family cleared his throat and asked:

– Are you Ivan Podushkin?

“Yes,” I nodded, not understanding why the baritone voice of the speaker seemed so familiar to me that my heart ached.

- It turns out I’m yours cousin“, - the guest said embarrassedly. – My name is Ilya Podushkin, and this is my wife Tanya and daughter Polina. Forgive me, I would never have decided to disturb you, but we are in a hopeless situation.

I tried to hide my surprise, and the man ran his fingers through his hair with a familiar gesture, then squinted and raised his chin. A tight lump formed in my throat. My father, Pavel Ivanovich Podushkin, when he was nervous, made exactly these movements - first he straightened his hair with his palm, then he closed his eyes for a second and raised his chin. Dad always kept himself well under control, but by the age of seven I realized: if he does this, it means he is out of his depth. And the voice! That’s why the unexpected visitor’s baritone seemed familiar to me - Ilya has the same timbre as my father.

“You call your mother,” Ilya continued timidly, “she knows my parents.” And Petra and Natalya. I repeat, I would not have come to you if we had not had trouble.

Darya Dontsova

His Majesty's Secret Relationship

A person who wants to make your life wonderful will most likely turn it into unbearable...

Vanya, go and drink some tea! - came from the kitchen.

“Thank you, I don’t want to,” I shouted back.

I looked up from the book.

Thank you, Tanya, but it’s time for me to run.

Did you soap yourself up at the hospital? - Tatyana was curious. - Do me a favor and grab a parcel for Polinka.

Of course,” I readily agreed.

Tatyana turned around and hurried to the kitchen, the curlers on her head, knocking against each other, made a quiet tinkling sound.

I sighed. When was the last time I met a lady wearing metal curlers? That is, I know what is right - in curlers. But... Maybe in childhood? It seems that my nanny Taisiya, now Nicoletta’s housekeeper, used these. Mama never wandered around the apartment looking like this, she always got her hair done at the hairdresser. I wonder what modern women resort to to do their hair at home? Nika Safronova, with whom I recently broke up, had some kind of thing in the bathroom that resembled tongs, and she used it to curl her hair. It seems that Nikusha called this thing an iron. But, apparently, in the city of Bogdanovsk, where the family of Tanya and Ilya Podushkin came from, the ladies still wear metal curlers and monstrous flannelette robes.

Sighing again, I picked up my bag and headed down the hall. Tanya came there next, and the instructions continued:

Be sure to hold the bag by both handles, otherwise it will break and the jars will break. Put the meat in the cold, the cabbage soup too, and leave the cheesecake with jam in Polina’s nightstand.

I started tying my shoes.

“The meat will go rotten at room temperature,” Ilya’s wife muttered the same thing, “the first thing will rot from the heat in the ward.” They need coolness. And here…

Tanyusha, you already explained all this to me,” I stopped her.

Don’t worry,” I assured, “I won’t let you down.”

Yes, Vanya, you are a responsible person,” Tanya praised me. - Thank you for everything you do for us.

I was embarrassed, awkwardly took the bag by one handle, and it naturally came off. Tatyana managed to catch him and said reproachfully:

I looked at the creepy, poisonous pink bag, on which something was written in hieroglyphs, and tried to resist:

Maybe it's better to take another package?

No, Vanyashka, you will tear it apart too,” Ilya’s wife objected sternly. - And so I’ll be calm about the food. By the way, take the empty cans and don’t leave them in Polina’s nightstand.

“Definitely,” I humbly promised and went into the yard to the car.

Before I had time to approach my car, Tatyana’s loud order came from above:

Vanyashka! Grab the empty bottles, they are convenient, half-liter!

I raised my head, saw a figure in a robe on the balcony and waved.

Don't forget the lids! - Tanya strained. - You can’t buy plastic ones anymore, but it’s better that they don’t exist! Vanya, do you hear?