Jealousy has directly opposite interpretations. Some consider it a manifestation of love, others - a painful pathology.. But nothing in life is easy. Love and hate, tenderness and rage are sometimes so closely intertwined that they cannot be separated from each other. Living with a person who suspects treason to every pillar is very difficult. How to behave with a man who is jealous with or without? It all depends on its type.

Owner

In the opinion of a male owner, or simply an egoist, a woman should belong to him undividedly. Because any encroachment on her is immediately regarded as an encroachment on his ego. Next to such a jealous person is usually a beautiful companion, because she emphasizes his high status. At her expense, he nourishes pride. And God forbid to change her - she will be humiliated, trampled, deprived of everything that he gave her. If you are “lucky” to live with such a person, be prepared to maintain his position, never flirt with others without giving the slightest reason, otherwise he will plague you with suspicions. Your main weapon is flattery, they are greedy for it, Like no other.

Tyrant

Probably all of the above. in this case, you can still add sadistic inclinations, pettiness, alienation and emotional coldness. Such a person will never consider a woman an equal partner. For him, her opinions and desires do not exist. If one day he allows himself to be beaten, his wife's life will turn into a nightmare. The only advice to a woman is to run away from such a "master", wherever her eyes look, before he destroys her personality.

notorious man

If he does not feel worthy of his companion, he knows that there are many men in the world stronger, more successful, richer, more attractive than him, he will torment his beloved with his suspicions, in order to once again make sure that she does not slip away from him. He is anxious, depressed, touchy over trifles. But in those moments when he is confident in his woman, this is the most gallant gentleman, able to dedicate poetry to her and perform romantic deeds. Such men are in dire need of love and that they are more often stroked on their fur. It is a woman who is able to make a confident self-sufficient man out of him. Such relationships are the most promising.

Apostate

Being unfaithful himself, such a person is able to turn the picture upside down, to avert suspicion. He believes that his jealousy shows a woman how much he loves her. You can fight this behavior by asking directly if he judges by himself, constantly suspecting him of infidelity.

Survivor of betrayal

Such a man has an unhealed wound in his heart, which he himself constantly pulls, remembering the betrayal. In this case, only time and the impeccable behavior of a woman who has committed a rash act will help.

Without knowing it, we often demonstrate our complexes, weaknesses and fears to people around us. Moreover, we do it completely unconsciously. What distinguishes a notorious person in a conversation in the first few seconds of communication? Is it possible to calculate it from the comments on the network? The answer is yes.

Do you know what complexes are? This is when the focus on some of its details, anxiety about it outgrows all normal limits. For example, a woman with 46 clothing sizes considers herself so fat that it seems to her that everyone turns around after her. A person is constantly worried about his peculiarity, it seems to him that the people around him are also interested in it. But, apart from a couple of rare exceptions, this is not the case.

Today, while I was doing business and shopping, I saw at least a few thousand people. But I cannot describe any of them, except for those whom I meet constantly. I didn't remember their height, or their weight, or the color of their eyes, or the shape of their ears, or the hump on their nose. I am completely indifferent to other people's priests, ears, triceps, calves and eyebrow shape. It doesn't matter to me how much they get, how much they eat, how old they got married and what education they have. There is not enough time in my day to pay attention to such trifles. The same is true for most people. We are only interested in our spouses, a couple of girlfriends and mom. The rest of the people will forget about us in five seconds. They don't care about us.

However, there are some people who are really genuinely interested in us. Sometimes these are our future friends or lovers. But more often than not, the interest of strangers is aimed at spitting poison at us. Some reward us with critiques on a regular basis, and this is where it is worth considering - why?

Why is this stranger woman or this elderly man so interested in my lips, hands, priests, salary and who I spent the night with? What do they care about this and how can I influence the quality of their life? Obviously, it doesn't! The only explanation for such behavior is complexes. Notorious people constantly compare themselves with others, trying to confirm their normality, which is why we fall into the field of their attention. Some of our detail of the image is a detonator that explodes the activation mechanism of the complex. And the complex comes out with all its destructive power.

Once I worked with a man at the end of male power, he was about 70 years old. Every day this man was preoccupied with my fuckability. He threatened me that they would not fuck me anymore if I eat this bun, I don’t start stretching, I won’t beautiful styling. My sex life and my fuckability interested him so much that I inadvertently thought - but is he afraid for his potency? This is how our most secret fears crawl out.

This is especially noticeable to me because I can analyze hundreds of thousands of angry comments from a wide variety of people. And I followed the pattern. Someone else's appearance is scolded by the ugly. The poor are discussing someone else's salary. They shout about female asexuality, fat and old age of a man at the stage of withering libido. Focused on education - dumb. On the number of children - who do not have other achievements ... Fat people are scolded - losing weight and dieting, as well as those who are inclined to be overweight ... There are no exceptions. The exception is people who are so crippled in childhood that they have reshaped themselves almost completely. However, this exception only proves the rule. And smart people have long noticed this pattern. Therefore, every time you open your mouth to say another nasty thing, you show nothing but your own insecurities. You stand naked in front of those around you, to whom all your secret fears become accessible and visible. Believe me, it's very noticeable.

Recently I have already seen discussions on this topic. The girl Sonya, who has an ideal figure, asks with bewilderment - why exactly Russian people, unlike foreigners, are so fond of criticizing someone else's appearance or emphasizing their superiority, comparing it with someone else's failure? The answer lies in our upbringing. Unfortunately, our children are indeed often literally disfigured. Have you seen this picture: a girl walks, let's say, stooping, and her mother defiantly hits her on the back. A girl in her teenage years has become overweight, and her mother, out of good intentions, tells her that they won’t marry her with such an ass? The boy is scared out of his wits, and his father also beats him with a belt for fear? This happens all the time. Not to mention those cases when we are compared with our neighbor Kolya, cousin Vasya or classmate Pasha. It is this behavior of parents that creates the basis for the formation of complexes. Why complexes are dangerous? They make us spend most of our lives thinking about things that don't matter to anyone but ourselves.

Have you noticed how in Russia they love photo collections from American and European stores when they take pictures of strolling freaks? Comparison makes us feel more important, prettier, smarter, better. Because there is no self-confidence in this. And self-confidence leads to success faster than imaginary ideality.

Do you want me to tell you the story of a girl with a very big ass? Yes, what is there to almond, her butt is about a meter and a half in girth, she is so huge. It is unrealistic for a girl to lose weight - everything else is bad for her. And you know what? She didn’t hide under the bed, but opened Instagram and profitably sold her physical handicap. Access to her Instagram costs 12 bucks. In the photo on Instagram, a young man in love hugs her. And here she is...

Moreover, I worked with a woman who had such an ass not somewhere in the Americas, but in Russia. Do you know what she did? She wore bright clothes long hair, painted her lips with red lipstick and only had time to drive away the men. And she never, ever bled venom over someone else's appearance. The absence of complexes allows you to play any flaw as a trump card, make lemonade out of lemon. The presence of complexes makes life unbearable and disgusts others.

Do you know what advice Oksana Robski gave to girls, who repeatedly married the rich and famous? Do you know how she advised attracting a successful millionaire? Praise all the girls who are prettier than you. There is a little girl walking towards her, long straight legs. Others will say - fu, she is dressed ugly and her face is old. And you say - oh, what a girl! Just look at those legs! And, you know what? A successful man is likely to bite. Not on her. On you. The absence of complexes is very attractive.

It is easy to distinguish a notorious person - he clings to the shortcomings of others. And as for me, it’s much more effective to radiate confidence. Praise others. Praise everything that you like in others. Focus on the positive and then the positive will focus on you...

Many women try to understand the peculiarity male psychology, because this is the key to the knowledge of the opposite sex. If you want to find mutual understanding with your loved one, then you should understand at least a little the principle of his thinking. If we know enough about women's complexes, then men try to hide their weaknesses. Sometimes this can cause a quarrel, because a woman cannot know absolutely everything about her loved one.

In order not to face such a nuisance, it is better to get as much information as possible in advance and build on it. Who, if not psychologists, knows the most cherished secrets of men and their attitude to their own appearance. Your attention is invited to the top of the most common male complexes. It is precisely what they hide so carefully that becomes apparent, but such knowledge can become a real key to unraveling a loved one. Be sure to pay attention to whether your man has any signs of such complexes, and if so, try to find a competent approach to solving the problem.

1. Male inconsistency complex for a beautiful successful woman. In the process of choosing a life partner, they often face various problems, because sometimes it is so difficult to find the one and only. When a man on his way meets a self-sufficient person who has realized himself in life and knows exactly what he wants, some problems arise.

A man immediately begins to compare himself with her and ask question: "Do I meet her level and requirements?". A woman may not even show her exactingness, but a man has already begun to delve into himself and look for flaws. It is much easier to find a discreet modest lady who will be insanely happy from the manifestation of elementary attention and tenderness. A man's complexes can sometimes spoil his happy personal life, because that same "gray mouse" may not at all cause him to have a rapid heartbeat. That is why men often choose very inconspicuous prudes as their wives, who can provide him with coziness, comfort and tranquility. A woman who knows how to change, looks great and is popular with the stronger sex, rarely becomes desirable for creating a family.

2. Male complex of inability to become the head of the family. Men are terribly afraid of any active manifestations on the part of their spouses, because in society it is customary to condemn the representative of the stronger sex, who fully follows the instructions of his wife. If a woman wants to show character and tries to offer her own rules, then a notorious man will immediately begin to make scandals and prove his superiority. Psychological studies have shown that men who have achieved excellent success in their careers are calm about the manifestations of the will of their beloved spouse. The thing is that he already has an area where he is successful, so he simply does not need to realize his ambitions through his family.

3. Male complex of an excellent student. Here it is worth saying "thank you very much" to his parents, who instilled in him the desire to prove to everyone that he is the first and the best. Of course, at first glance it seems that it is impossible to regard this as a disadvantage, because such a man will be just perfect and his superiority will manifest itself both in the ability to earn money and in the desire to be the most the best father and husband, but not everything is so simple. A man suffering from an excellent student complex will constantly prioritize among such areas of life as family, work, hobbies, parents, etc. If he considers that in order to achieve a better position he needs to fly to another city for several months, then he will immediately do it. Often such representatives of the stronger sex suffer from depression and are prone to fanatical introspection. If a man does not have the opportunity to achieve leadership, he can simply sleep or start using drugs.

4. Male inferiority complex. Many men are actually insecure about their appearance, although at first glance you might not think so. Fear of gaining weight or simply losing attractiveness are real complexes of men that can develop self-doubt and the inability to build a happy personal life. Men, just like women, constantly compare themselves with competitors, and realizing that they are not popular among the fair sex, they fall into despair. Men are well aware that most women prefer beautiful, wealthy, young, fit and tall, so failure to meet the standard can significantly undermine male pride. Sometimes a man needs to understand that if his nature has not endowed him with an ideal appearance, you should think about charisma, humor, gentlemanship and other virtues.

5. Male inept lover complex. It is very important for a man to feel like a winner in sexual terms. If he knows for sure that his woman is completely satisfied with his intimate skills, then self-esteem will automatically rise several times. In the event that he knows that his beloved wants to receive much more from him than he gives her, he will simply stop believing in himself. Often men, whose women could not give them intimate self-confidence, go looking for victories on the side.

If man understands that he has something to be proud of in the matter of sex, he will be able to tune in more positively in any area of ​​\u200b\u200blife. That is why every representative of the fair sex should, even if not show herself in sex to the maximum, but make it clear to her beloved that he has no equal.

COMPLEX 1. I AM FOREVER SECOND.

How to find out? All evening, without hiding his admiration, he looks at you, but is afraid to take the first step. And no matter how breathtaking you look, it’s easier for him to get acquainted not with you, but with the one to whom the expression “gray mouse” usually fits.

What do we have to do? Psychologists explain that as soon as a man sees in front of him beautiful woman, then the thought immediately comes to his mind: "Such a beauty cannot be lonely." By cultivating it in himself, he convinces himself that this woman already certainly has a companion. And even if he manages to get to know her and start some kind of relationship, then later on he will constantly have to fight for her attention, because men will “crowd” around her in crowds ... Do not let his fantasies go too far, take the initiative yourself. “He will definitely appreciate your interest in himself and will be able to understand that you are the person with whom you can communicate so easily,” psychologists say.

COMPLEX 2. I AM A BAD LOVER.

How to find out? As soon as in bed, he begins to vehemently ask for forgiveness for what he has not done yet, and every 30 seconds ask if he is doing everything right - he either shows excessive concern for you, or suffers from a bad lover complex. His desire to compete with someone all the time can also indicate problems in terms of self-esteem. Does your companion expect comparisons from you? He wants to know how many lovers you had before him, which of them managed to be the best and why? “Do not be surprised if, after your frank story, he declares that many of your lovers (even if you mentioned only two) have corrupted you too much. That now he cannot fully trust you, and therefore, be completely relaxed in your company, ”sexologists warn.

What do we have to do? All you need is to find the right words. Try to tell him that he is the one and only, that you left your previous ones because they didn’t even stand next to him. Try to help him loosen up, but don't get too carried away. After all, to say that everything was wonderful and to lie are not at all the same thing.

COMPLEX 3. I'M DECEIVED.

How to find out? You spend a lot of time together, and he never even hugged you? Would you like to just walk with him until the morning, holding hands, but he does not show any initiative? Do you want to cling to his shoulder, but he immediately pulls away? Of course, one could admit some doubt about his sexual orientation if he did not constantly repeat about his former girlfriends. Or, more accurately, about how they all abandoned him mercilessly. He tries to build a cynic out of himself, wiser by experience, he is ready to rant for hours about the doom of all kinds of relationships.

What do we have to do? First, it should be noted that this kind of men are rare, because most of them are hunters by nature. They do everything possible so that the complex “in the life of the deceived” appears as often as possible in women. Secondly, with intimophobia - this is the name of this complex - it is possible and necessary to fight. This is where a waiting tactic is needed. You should not rush to build relationships, because he is seriously afraid that as soon as he trusts, you will immediately take advantage of this for personal gain. If you take the initiative in your own hands, wanting to start a relationship, then later breaking them off, that is, quitting it, will not be difficult for you. Let him understand that you are waiting for the first step from him. Be as spontaneous and sincere as possible. This is exactly what he does not expect from you. All his habitual schemes will collapse - and he himself will change for the better.

COMPLEX 4. I CAN'T REALIZE.

How to find out? He always comes home tired, even if he spent the whole day in the office shifting folders with documents from place to place. Or he is ready for the hundredth time to listen to your story about the shoes that you tried on in the store opposite, but he will never utter a word about his personal problems.

What do we have to do? For a man, it is extremely important to realize himself at work. But even if he made a mistake in choosing a profession, this does not mean that he is destined to suffer from this complex for the rest of his life. Try to start a conversation about what he liked as a child. After all, children usually like what they do best. If he liked to make planes, tell him casually about the regional club of aircraft modellers. He went everywhere with an old "Zenith" and filmed everything? Then you should invite him to a photo exhibition and give him a gift - a new camera. And when, finally, he has at least one hobby, even if it is in no way related to work, but which will bring him joy, his affairs in the office will certainly go smoothly.

COMPLEX 5. "PAPIK".

How to find out? Usually a man is either sincerely proud that he has a young lover in his “arsenal”, or is afraid that his beauty will soon find a younger lover. In the second option, he wishes that as few people as possible be devoted to your relationship. Especially if we are talking about a joint publication with you - what if everyone thinks that you are his granddaughter?

What do we have to do? There is no need to drag him by force to where there is a chance of exposing him as a grandfather. Try to remind him more often that none of your peers can give you what he gives. After all, you really are much more interesting with him? This is where the emphasis should be.

COMPLEX 6. I AM INCOMPLETE.

How to find out? You don’t have to figure out if he really has this complex - absolutely everyone has it, including you. You just need to decide how much your partner is notorious and what exactly does not allow him to live in peace. The only thing that is one hundred percent sign of an inferiority complex is jealousy.

What do we have to do? If his case is not yet chronic, then the most important thing is not to focus on what caused his self-doubt. For example, it can be a small stature, a beer belly, a bald head, etc. Talk more about his merits. After all, if you have a complex about the harmony of your legs, then no matter how much they tell you that they are beautiful, they will not become slimmer for you. Therefore, if he is short, praise his intelligence and sense of humor; if he is bald - the ability to play chess perfectly, etc. In especially advanced cases, a notorious man tries to compensate for his shortcomings by humiliating those who are close to him. If suddenly you began to feel that he is trying to recoup you, then you should think about whether the relationship with him is worth the effort you spent. If yes, then for help in solving this problem, you should seek the help of professionals.

COMPLEX 7. I'm an excellent student.

How to find out? It would seem that if he wants to be the best in everything and always, is that bad? Of course, this is good, but you need to know the measure in everything. Attention should be paid to the price at which permanent permanent leadership is given to him. If, for example, he promised to do something to you, but for various reasons he failed, then this will literally eat him up from the inside until he is finally able to fulfill the promise. Even if you know well that you could easily do without it.

What do we have to do? It is very important to let a man know that you love him. Love the way he is. And that one small star from the sky will be enough for you. So if, for example, this summer he just can’t go on vacation with you to the Hawaiian Islands, try offering: “Darling, what if we spend this vacation at your dacha?” He, of course, will be surprised, but mentally he will say “thank you” to you. And all his further actions will be dictated only by a feeling of gratitude for the fact that you love him. Love not only and not so much for constant expensive gifts.

COMPLEX 8. I HAVE LITTLE MONEY.

How to find out? With his head down, he walks past expensive restaurants, avoids talking about money, calls all more or less wealthy people bandits and says that only a crazy person will buy a suit for a thousand dollars. Another option is also possible - the opposite: with him, a man only does what he says about how wonderful it would be to live on Rublyovka, ride a limousine, and wear clothes at least from Ralph Lauren.

What do we have to do? In both of these cases, your man has a problem setting priorities. Your main task is to tell him as much as possible about the benefits, not material, but spiritual. You will most likely have to give more than one or two examples to try to get him to reassess his values. Try to go with him to a simple cafe, where it is quiet and cozy and you can calmly talk heart to heart. You can go to an exhibition where some fashionable artist is represented, who does not charge an entrance fee. Or to a concert of an interesting, but not yet very popular band that performs in clubs for free. You will see, he will stop stressing about money as soon as he realizes that everything is expensive - not necessarily good. That you love him, and your love does not depend on the amount of money or gifts he earns. And that his attention is really much more important to you.

COMPLEX 9. I DON'T MEET HER.

How to find out? Such an example: you are from Moscow - he is a provincial, you make excellent money - he saves every penny, you graduated from Moscow State University with a red diploma - he was kicked out of engineering in his first year. It is possible that your man has quite normal self-esteem. Yes, yes, and all its obvious shortcomings at the same time are nothing compared to the merits. Everything in the world strives for balance. And when you have enough of what he lacks, you have something to teach each other in order to enjoy the balance in the relationship. And the fact that you are from different "sandboxes" does not matter in the slightest. Things are more complicated if your man tirelessly, foaming at the mouth, proves that it’s easy for native Muscovites to live, that everything is easy for dad’s sons, that you can buy a diploma from any university, but you won’t earn big money in honest ways. But even this can be dealt with.

What do we have to do? It is a mistake to tell him directly that his mood and behavior betrays his internal problems, even when this is the case. If you belong to different strata of society - just try not to pay attention to the little things that separate you. You need to find common interests, get carried away with one thing, say “we” more often. And then the two of you will form a single whole. And he will finally stop thinking that you are not a couple for each other.

COMPLEX 10. I HAVE A CRISIS OF MIDDLE AGE.

How to find out? In life, absolutely every man goes through two age crisis: the first - at the age of thirty years, the second - when he is about forty - forty-five. The first is the time of the initial debriefing, when the man evaluates what he has been able to achieve and what remains to be done. The second is caused by the desire to work on past mistakes: to change jobs, and often the people around him.

What do we have to do? With the first option, either a break in all sorts of relationships or an offer to get married looms on your horizon. Crave a second - try to draw in his imagination rainbow pictures of your family life. It is more difficult for a man to survive the crisis of forty years. Here it would be wiser to be patient and try to be a good friend to him first of all.

final diagnosis.

• 75% of girls suffer from the complexes of their men.
• 50% are trying to deal with male complexes.
• 13% believe that their young people have a bad lover complex.
• 28% believe that a man is worried, believing that he is not suitable for her.
• 50% are sure that there are no men without complexes and, in principle, cannot be. And going against male nature is a waste of time and effort.
• 27% tried to deal with the complexes of men, but, unfortunately, they did not achieve the result.
• 23% of girls say that they still managed to convince their men that their complexes are unfounded.