I got my time off without bureaucratic delays in a minute. How so? Or this option: you ask a salesperson in a supermarket where to find a plunger for your bathroom, to which he indifferently waves towards the department with household goods, hinting to look somewhere there. And with another buyer he is incredibly friendly and will even go through the entire store to help with finding the right product.
You can answer: yes, I'm just an unlucky person. Or unattractive. But is it? Remember: everything is in our hands, learn to find an approach to your interlocutor, and for this you should learn how to understand people. If you want to become successful, be the center of attention among friends and colleagues at work, win sympathy among the opposite sex, learn to find an individual approach to people with different types
character, life and moral principles. In the future you will definitely, and that communication can be pleasant and useful.
Psychology and technology of everyday communication What happens at the first moment of communication between acquaintances and strangers
? You meet the person's eyes and an exchange of glances begins. A glance determines a lot; it is not for nothing that expressions such as “it became clear at first sight”, “love at first sight”, “disliked at first sight” are used in everyday life. If a person is open to communication, then his gaze will convey his intentions and good messages to the interlocutor without words. If a person avoids direct gaze, this causes wariness, serious mistrust or even antipathy on the part of communication partners. 
After exchanging glances, the interlocutor will definitely “assess” you visually: how you move, your posture and gestures. If you behave freely and relaxed (not to be confused with relaxed), all your gestures speak of (you have a straight back, body and arms turned towards the interlocutor) and goodwill, then the interlocutor will be conveyed a feeling of calm, and he will tune in to a positive wave.
- Find out and remember the name of the person you are going to meet, since a person’s own name is a very significant and important word.
- Smile as often as possible, as smiling creates an atmosphere of happiness, goodwill and respect. A kind and sincere smile will create a feeling of calm, relaxation in your interlocutor and will cause sympathy for you.
- Show genuine interest in the interlocutor and the problems that concern him. Perhaps this particular person you are talking to now will turn out to be a truly interesting and extraordinary person. So show your interest starting with a greeting.
- Don't forget to wish your friends, colleagues and acquaintances a happy birthday. Have you noticed that a few days before your birthday you feel anxious? On an unconscious level, we worry whether friends and colleagues will remember this date. And if yes, then this congratulation will bring great joy.
- Try to be a good listener, give your interlocutor the opportunity to talk about himself, because sincere attention is a great way to win over a person.
Ask correct questions, answering which the interlocutor will not feel awkward and will answer them with pleasure.
- During the conversation, be clearly aware of what interests and desires captivate your interlocutor, what he values in life, and support the conversation on these topics. If you are an attentive interlocutor, you can easily find points of common interest with your interlocutor. Perhaps you have common views on certain things, have had similar experiences in business, and have similar future plans. The more similarities and points of contact you find, the easier you will find an approach to your interlocutor in the future.
What not to do when communicating with an interlocutor
If you do not want your interlocutor to perceive communication with you negatively, psychologists advise that during a conversation do not keep your arms crossed on your chest, interlock your fingers and stand with your legs crossed. These poses say without words that you are tense and worried. And vice versa, you should not come close to your interlocutor, clap him on the shoulder, or grab his hand. The interlocutor may perceive such behavior and gestures as familiarity or an attack on personal space. Try to keep an eye on yours at first, and later, as they make communication and mutual understanding between interlocutors difficult.
If during a conversation you find that the topic raised by the interlocutor is close to you, is your “strong point”, and you really want to show off your knowledge and awareness, do not interrupt him, wait until the interlocutor brings the idea to its logical conclusion, and only then express your point of view. You've probably had to deal with a similar situation more than once, and what a negative aftertaste it leaves. 
When trying to find an approach to a person, try to rarely say that he is wrong, do not question his intellectual abilities and views on any things, do not strike a blow to his pride. It’s better to show with a slight smile and approving nods that you respect the opinion of your interlocutor.
How to find an approach to a person with a difficult character
People who do not get along with others, cannot stand criticism and are easily irritated, see events in life in black and white and are overwhelmed, are called “a person with a complex character.” They, with strangers, or, conversely, become isolated and do not make contact. Often people of this type are dissatisfied with themselves.
To find an approach to a difficult interlocutor, try not to “get into his soul,” but delicately ask him what happened or what upset him so much. Communication with people who constantly Bad mood, will not cause you . Any little thing, detail or offensive word can easily ruin their mood or throw them off balance.
If a complex and “explosive” character coexist in one person, try to be careful in your statements.
Are you “lucky” to have a boss with such a character? Be moderately polite and friendly, careful and efficient, but also have your own opinion.
How to find an approach to people with different temperaments
Have you asked yourself why, when communicating in a team, the same conversation (message, news) evokes different reactions in people? Some immediately show keen interest in the topic, others show complete indifference and indifference. It’s all very simple: the characteristics of different temperaments are obvious. Let's try to find an approach to people with different types of temperament, using basic data on psychology.
Choleric
- Endowed with an impulsive temperament, loves, does not tolerate falsehood in words and actions.
- Having a dispute with a choleric person? Do not rush to criticize him, and even more so, do not raise your tone - everything will result in a huge scandal. When starting a serious conversation, prepare clear and compelling arguments in advance; at the end of the conversation, be sure to thank for the constructive dialogue, and you will have a chance that the choleric person will change his mind and concede in the dispute.
It can also be noted that choleric people do not like to be spoken to in a quiet and indistinct voice, but they love to give instructions and advice.
- Ask the choleric person to explain or show how he would do this or that thing correctly.
Sanguine
- Strives to please everyone and arouse interest among people around him.
- A sanguine person will not tolerate boredom and indifference, so do not cease to surprise and delight him. If you strive to constantly show interest and curiosity about hobbies, positively evaluate and constantly encourage, you will not have to wait long for a reaction.
- This type of temperament is characterized by disorganization and lack of discipline, therefore, try to check joint plans (scheduled meetings), but delicately.
Phlegmatic person
- This type is slow by nature and cannot act or make decisions quickly.
- Phlegmatic people are secretive emotionally and stingy in expressing feelings, but if you want to find an approach to a person with this type of character, learn to recognize his feelings at the level of intuition.
- Phlegmatic people often underestimate their abilities and capabilities, so believe in them and help them overcome doubts in their abilities and inhibitions.
Melancholic
- A melancholic person has a delicate, vulnerable and very vulnerable nature.
- If you want to find, prepare in advance for whims, grievances, complaints and ailments. Don't be stingy and generously give your attention.
In nine out of ten cases, a melancholic person will refuse an offer to go for a walk, a hike or a cultural event.
- He loves solitude and would prefer a quiet evening together in a quiet home environment over noisy company.
- Melancholic and punctuality are incompatible things; for him, time flows differently than for other people. Therefore, if you have an appointment or meeting, be prepared to wait.
Remember: no people are so complex that you can’t figure them out and find an approach. The main thing is to want! And take into account the tips described above.
The team, alas, is not chosen. In any office there will be people who annoy everyone and everything. Change jobs? Well, I do not! It’s easier to find a common language with them.
It is much easier to label someone as an “impossible person.” It is much more difficult (but, ultimately, more effective for the workflow) to try to find an approach to this “office book”.
A comfortable, friendly atmosphere in the office is the responsibility of all employees. Help create it!
Catch the wave
A colleague with a very “peculiar” sense of humor, a client who starts breathing right in your face during a conversation... Different people react to such characters differently: some silently accumulate irritation, while others make loud remarks, ruining the relationship forever. But there is The best way- do not hide from the destructive force of the shock wave spread by the “difficult colleague”, but... try to tune in to “his wave”.
DON'T HURRY TO JUDGE
Even if you are very annoyed by your colleague’s completely inappropriate jokes, in your opinion, restrain yourself and do not rush to let off steam. Instead, think: what exactly is he trying to achieve with his awkward one-liners? Maybe in this way he is trying his best to relieve tension and break the ice in your relationship? Or gain authority in the team? Or maybe he just wants to illustrate some fact more clearly? Once you understand what motivates the wit, it will be easier to develop a plan to improve the effectiveness of collaboration.
GIVE HIM WHAT HE NEEDS
Once you understand the reasons for your colleague's annoying behavior, you can learn to soften this behavior. For example, one of the employees does not speak, but literally recites - noisily, loudly... Maybe he is simply afraid of not being heard? In this case, use special “feedback” phrases: “As you said...”, “Having considered your words...”, etc. It costs you nothing, and the “speaker” will be sure that the act of communication has taken place and will calm down.
If a colleague constantly attacks you with offers to follow the link and evaluate Ksyusha Sobchak’s new trick or discuss the reasons for Monica Bellucci’s divorce, it is unlikely that she/he is that interested in celebrities - most likely, this is an attempt to establish informal contact with you. In response, discuss new image Kate Middleton. The relationship will be improved, but remind the employee that action lasts 8 hours and chatting lasts 5 minutes.
MANAGE THE SITUATION
Another thing you have the power to influence is the circumstances around you. If you are annoyed that a colleague leans too close to you when he speaks, do not start a conversation with him when it is especially noisy in your open space, everyone around is discussing something, laughing, the Colleague will have to come close to you and practically whisper in your ear .
Perhaps the best room to communicate with such an employee is an empty, echoing corridor.
DON'T GOSSIP
When a “colorful character” works in your office, everyone is tempted to touch his bones during his absence. Remember: by participating in this, you are risking the very relationships that you have worked so hard to build.
On the contrary, if you manage to gain the respect of a “difficult” colleague, the rest of the employees will probably wonder how you did it. Don’t be afraid to share the knowledge you’ve gained with them: “I realized that she was terrified of making a mistake and getting reprimanded by her boss, and this made our communication much easier.”
In short, you want to be carried. It takes a little work to get it. Compare your boyfriend to a dog. Think about what means dog handlers use to tame their four-legged friend or find an approach to the animal.
Every dog loves attention and affection. The man is no different from our faithful friends. He also craves affection and attention.
What happens when the owner comes home? How does the dog greet him? That's right, the dog is overwhelmed with joy, he spins around his legs and asks to be patted behind the ear.
Men will also be pleased if, when meeting you, you smile at him and hug him.
Many girls believe that a joyful meeting is all nonsense. But no. It is very important. Be happy to meet him, thereby you will solve as many problems as possible in the future.
A man should strive for you and understand that you enjoy meeting him.
Dogs follow only clear commands. Do you want to find an approach to a guy? Learn to formulate your requests competently and clearly, this is very, very important. Men will happily fulfill your request if you can convey it to him in a language he understands.
I have always been surprised by girls who believe that a guy himself should guess about her desires. Dear ones, is your boyfriend a psychic? He himself will never guess. Remember this - never! And you shouldn’t be offended and cause a scandal for him. Learn to be diplomatic and correctly convey your requests to the guy. Then he will make you happy.
Don't be shy. Be open and honest. The male brain works differently, it requires clarity.
Dogs love to play. Many girls and women relate to men's entertainment - fishing, boxing, Gym, hunting is like a meaningless pastime.
Girls, understand one thing, without these “stupid and meaningless hobbies” men very quickly become ugly, become fat, lose interest in life and even... To the woman you love. Therefore, if you want to be happy and find an approach to your loved one, do not interfere with him sometimes having fun as he wants.
Dogs cannot tolerate short leashes. Give the man a chance to rest. Don't encroach on his personal space. More than one man cannot work constantly and communicate with his girlfriend. Every guy sometimes wants to withdraw into himself and just lie on the couch, changing channels.
Men, just like dogs, cannot stand being put on short leashes. Your constant questions: where have you been? Who were you with? Who called? Why so late? You will only achieve that sooner or later, your young and beloved guy will disappear from your life. Learn to trust your man.
Dogs love to eat delicious food. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I think everything will be clear and understandable here for every girl and woman. Although, if you are lucky and your man is a fan of cooking, then you can omit this point, because you will not have to stand at the stove and come up with another culinary delight.
Ilya Reinish, head of the LABA sales department, said that a good salesperson must know his product and field, ask questions competently and help people. If you believe in yourself and don't give up at the first refusal, your clients will be nice and your work will be enjoyable.
Children begin to speak their first words at 9-10 months of life. Adults on average use 15 to 20 thousand words per day. Ask a person to hold out for a day and not say a single word - by the second hour he will begin to go crazy.
It turns out that conversations and communication take up more of our time than all other activities. Therefore, I believe that negotiation is the most important skill in life.
For the last four years, I have been teaching business owners how to build sales departments, working with their teams and managing my own department. I have 14 professional sales managers on my team.
But it is impossible to be a good salesman without highly developed emotional intelligence, empathy and a desire to help people.
I have been working in sales for eight years, communicating with the best negotiators, psychologists, and business owners. This experience helped to identify the main areas that need to be developed in order to find an approach to each client and become the best in our business.
To be self-confident
These simple words in fact, it is an internal state. When I worked in cold sales, out of 100 potential clients made deals with seven. At the same time, my colleagues concluded two deals per hundred calls.
There were more refusals than sales, but during every conversation I was sure that the sale would take place right now. If you don't believe in sales, why go to a meeting or call a client?
Know the product perfectly
It's not enough for you to just know your product. You need to be an expert in the industry whose products and products you sell. You need to easily navigate the market of your colleagues, know all the advantages and benefits of the product for each client.
Often the same thing is said to everyone, without focusing on the client’s needs.
Be able to ask questions
Have you ever been in a situation where you're pitching an idea to a friend, hear a question, and think, "Oh, good question"?
Sales is the art of asking questions.
You sell when you remain silent. The questions are not about the weather (although such questions are sometimes needed), but about the client’s pain. This way you can understand how your product will help a person.
I have a favorite question that applies to almost any business: “What three results or key factors should you get after cooperation in order to recommend us to all your friends?” Listen to the client to understand how to sell to him. Many listen, but not everyone hears.
Develop a sense of empathy
Many people ask themselves questions before negotiations: “What is my goal? What terms am I willing to accept? But you already know the goals, your task is to think about the client, what he feels, what he is worried about. It is now popular to talk about emotional intelligence; there are many trainings and books on this topic.
This is not bad, but the most important thing is to just analyze the little things. Do this when communicating not only with the client, but also with friends and family.
Try to understand how a person feels when he answers you in one way or another, agrees, refuses, and so on.
Control your emotions
At my first job in sales, I often watched girls cry after communicating with clients when someone was rude to them on the phone. I immediately decided that it was not me who was being sent, but the company, the product, or the changes.
Negativity is directed at everything but me - this approach helps a lot.
I have often observed that clients at the first meeting or on the first call (especially a cold one) behave aggressively. Sales people write in the CRM: “the client is a boor, never call him again.” Sometimes I myself called such a person a week later, and he turned out to be very nice.
It happens that we called at the wrong time and got into hot hands, there is no need to take it personally or put an end to the client.
Help people
You don't have to serve like Mother Teresa, but moral education should not allow you to sell an unsustainable product, a product that does not provide value and is not needed by the customer.
It often happens that a client orders a certain service, but after communication we offer him a product with a lower bill. Clients are often surprised, but our task is to help as effectively as possible, even if we earn less.
Be yourself
Sales and negotiations are systematic work; we have many business processes, checklists, and a sales structure that must be followed.
Over the years of work, I have long noticed that every strong negotiator has his own advantages and techniques that work for him, but if these techniques are copied by someone else, they will not work. Be sincere and natural and think about the client first.
Working in sales seems like a chore - every day you just call people. But every new conversation, new client is a challenge.
The client's problem must be solved. Every day we face doubts, mistrust due to past experience and every time we set the client up for the positive.
The salesperson is happy when a negative customer becomes loyal.
It's nice when a client calls and says that we solved a problem that he couldn't solve for several years. When we are given gifts, congratulated on our birthday and simply thanked, we truly understand that the work was not done in vain.
