Valeria Simonova

People cry from the very first day of life - this is our body's natural reaction to stress. The reason for tears is a feeling of deep grief, resentment, disappointment. Pity and compassion, a sense of pride and sincere joy can also cause tears. Psychologists agree that crying is healthy. However, there are situations in life when crying means losing, showing your weakness, vulnerability. What to do when you need to restrain yourself at any cost, you will learn from this article.

In what situations is it necessary to restrain yourself?

Women are often called crybabies. Yes, our mobile psyche reacts to any emotional shock. We cry from overwhelming feelings. Tears are necessary. They help cope with stress and extinguish negative emotions. Tears of sympathy are especially useful for us, as they heal not only our body, but also our soul.

But there are situations when you can’t cry.

Here are some of them:

1. On the exam. It seems to you that the teacher is being too picky and has decided to give you a bad grade at any cost. But you were tired and studied all night. Tears of resentment well up in my eyes. These tears cannot be held back;

In such a situation, you absolutely cannot cry. Why? Small child tears evoke pity and attract attention. Having cried, he gives a signal: I am weak, have pity on me. During an exam, crying will most likely cause a backlash. She’s crying, which means she doesn’t know anything, didn’t teach her, and is trying to make her feel sorry for her.

To be on equal terms with the teacher, you need to show that you are an adult and know how to restrain yourself.

1. At an interview. During the interview, you are asked a lot of questions that you think are incorrect, forcing you to show emotions and get nervous. The fact is that the employer has his own idea of ​​what kind of employee he needs. In order to check whether the applicant is resistant to stress and unforeseen situations, a so-called stress interview is conducted. Shedding tears is the worst way out in this situation. This means showing your weakness and unsuitability for the job you are applying for. If you need this job, you must be sure to hold back your tears when talking to the employer;
2. On the street with a large crowd of people. It happens that an unexpected trouble takes you by surprise. A misfortune happened, a loved one left. The natural way out in this case is sobbing and bitter tears. No need to cry in the street. This will cause unnecessary attention from strangers. Passers-by are unlikely to be able to help you. But swindlers who take advantage of a person’s vulnerable state will not pass by.

There is no doubt that there are a lot of situations in which you need to restrain yourself. You have encountered them many times. How can you hold back the tears that come at the wrong time and control your emotions?

1. Switching attention;

If tears are already welling up in your eyes and you definitely need to hold them back, you can mentally ask yourself one of the following questions: “Did I turn off the iron?”, “Are my neighbors flooding me?”. Psychologists call these questions "adrenaline". A sharp release of adrenaline into the blood will change your emotions, and you will not cry.

1. Turning on the imagination;

Imagine your offender in a funny and absurd way.

Or try "substitution method"- you are the boss, and the boss is you. How much kind words would you tell him? The main thing here is not to overdo it. Loud laughter in such a situation is also inappropriate.

Physical ways to stop crying

1. Change your body position. If you are sitting, stand up, you can take a few steps, move a chair, rearrange papers. Act according to the situation;
2. Inhale slowly and deeply, straighten your shoulders, raise your head up;
3. Interlock and unclasp your fingers. You can pinch your palm;
4. Ask for water, take a few deep, slow sips;
5. Shift your gaze, look into the distance or at a picture hanging on the wall.

If you are about to cry for a physical reason: your eyes are watering from fatigue, dust or debris has gotten in, you are allergic to strong odors, then these measures will not help you. In this situation, the best way out is to apologize and try to eliminate the cause of the tears. Take your medications, wash your eyes, get some fresh air.

To prevent a negative mood after an unpleasant conversation from haunting you all day, take emergency measures:

1. Wash your face immediately with cold water;
2. read “to yourself”, if possible, then out loud, a funny children’s poem;
3. go to the mirror, forcefully smile at yourself, then again. This can be done until the smile becomes natural;
4. drink hot sweet tea.

If you cry very often at the slightest reason and find it very difficult to hold back your tears, consult a doctor. You may have health problems. This could be stress, chronic fatigue, thyroid disease.

It won’t hurt any of the spectators to cry over a performance or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only be beneficial. What can you do to stop crying when it is destructive for yourself and destroys relationships with others?

Anything can make me cry: from a dramatic plot in a movie to a stray kitten in the next doorway. And when there is also a real reason (for example, from resentment or jealousy), I generally cannot calm down for a long time. Sometimes tears turn into hysterics, I start yelling and stop managing my condition altogether. How to stop crying and constantly stressing yourself out?

About the causes of tearfulness: you can cry in different ways

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that among us there are 5% of people endowed with special sensuality and emotionality. These are owners for whom the eyes are a particularly sensitive area. It is these people who have “increased tearfulness.” But you can cry in different ways: with beneficial or destructive effects on the psyche.

How to stop crying for any reason

By nature, all owners of the visual vector are constantly close to tears. Such people have a huge emotional range; they can subtly feel the states of other people.

Due to such sensuality, both a tragic love story and empathy for a sick person can actually provoke tears in them. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter whether this story is real or unfolds on the stage - the audience still reacts emotionally and sensually.

Stopping crying completely for the viewer is the same as stopping breathing. His receptive area (eyes) actually needs this periodic stimulation. The most important thing in this matter is the reason for which the tears arise.

When is it good to cry?

There is nothing wrong with crying during a sensual song or a soulful performance. But by nature, the carrier of the visual vector is given a special emotional sensitivity in order to realize it in empathy and compassion for other people. To those who have suffered real misfortune, who have experienced real grief.

We can see developed and realized owners of the visual vector among volunteers, working with seriously ill or disabled people. They help orphanages or are busy delivering humanitarian supplies to countries where there is war. They are always exactly where their compassion and active assistance to weaker sections of the population are most in demand.

The viewer may well cry out of empathy for his neighbor. But these tears are beneficial, and it is not difficult for a person to calm down in such a situation - he will quickly stop crying, switching to real help. Unfortunately, in conditions where the properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently realized, the situation is different.

When tears are destructive

With a lack of realization, the entire enormous emotional range of the viewer is closed in on himself, in his own experiences. This gives rise to constant hysterics and emotional swings, causing a person to break into hysterics and yell at loved ones. In this state, he sometimes cannot calm down and only winds himself up more and more.

Depending on the additional presence of other vectors, the reason may be torment over a guy or girl. A person may cry from jealousy, panic, or perhaps from resentment towards loved ones and fate. The reason in all these cases is the same - the emotional range of the viewer is too great to be directed at himself and his troubles.

How to stop crying in each specific case

So, it won’t hurt any of the spectators to cry over a performance or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only be beneficial. What can you do to stop crying when it is destructive for yourself and destroys relationships with others?

System-vector psychology Yuri Burlan gives the following recommendation to all carriers of the visual vector: sensually focus on the experiences of another person. Not everyone will work with seriously ill patients, but there are plenty of people around who crave your empathy. It could be a lonely neighbor, a suffering friend, etc. Bringing emotions out helps the viewer relieve internal emotional swings and hysterics.

What to do to stop crying from resentment

The feeling of resentment is familiar only to the owners. It doesn’t matter if you had grievances because of your beloved guy, or if you had to cry because you were offended by the villainous fate in general. The main thing is that your natural internal balance is disrupted: the desire for everything to be fair and equal. You tried so hard for people, but in return they did not give you love, attention, respect. There is no way to calm down.

The opposite of resentment is gratitude. Try to focus on those events, people and their actions for which you can truly be grateful. Surely there will be quite a few of them.

But resentment is a reason to think about how generally the properties of the anal vector are realized in your case? These are perseverance, attention to detail, an analytical mind, a need for cleanliness and a desire for family, home comfort, and having children.

What to do to stop crying from jealousy

Tears help relieve tension inside, give vent to depressing emotions, and in many situations it is even very useful to cry. However, there are times when shedding tears is a sign of emotion, vulnerability, or weakness, which means losing. But how to hold back your tears and not cry when you want to be alone, but there is no such opportunity. What to do if there is a lump in your throat? How can you still restrain yourself and not give free rein to your emotions? Let's look at a few steps that can solve this problem.

How to hold back your tears

• You need to try to distract yourself a little and calm down. This helps a lot at the very beginning. To do this, you can take 10 to 15 slow, even and deep breaths in and out, focusing as much as possible on this process. Such simple actions are sometimes enough to restrain yourself.
• Think about something else. For example, you can remember your last vacation, how fun it was, who did what, what exactly you liked. You can also remember all the pages of your passport (first name, last name, patronymic, registration address). Or try to count the stripes on your own or someone else's clothes. Go through the multiplication table for six or seven in your mind, try to multiply large numbers by each other. Paradoxically, you can hold back a surging tear by using all these well-known techniques that treat insomnia.
• “Switch” attention from mental pain to physical pain. Most often, uncontrollable, strong emotions cause tears, and one of the effective ways to keep them away is to hurt yourself. Of course, doing like Van Gogh and cutting off an ear is unnecessary. After all, it will be enough to bite your lips or tongue, or pinch yourself hard. For many, such a shock effectively brings them to their senses and the desire to start crying disappears.

Other methods

How to hold back your tears if your boss gave you an undeserved “brain drain.” You shouldn't feel sorry for yourself, it's better to get angry at her. You can redirect the pain from yourself to the offender. If you are offended by one specific person, then you need to mentally transfer your emotions to him. Or she may even find something to feel sorry for her for (the haircut is unsuccessful, menopause is coming, her nerves are frayed). You can also play with your imagination. Mentally turn the offender into a croaking frog, with a trash can on his head, imagine him in a clown costume, or imagine that he is a crow. The main thing with imagination is not to overdo it, otherwise you might not be able to restrain yourself and laugh in your face.

Tears are water, and water is attracted to water. Therefore, after a heated conversation, drink water or tea. In order not to shed tears immediately after a difficult conversation, it is better to drink half a glass of water or other liquid, such as non-hot tea, slowly and in small sips. As if washing away an insult, it is quite easy to hold back tears if you completely wash your face with cool water or wipe your entire face with a damp cloth. To further consolidate the result, and so as not to cry afterwards, we do this. As quickly as possible, we are distracted by any matter not related to the one that almost brought us to tears.

All people cry from time to time. However, there are times when you can and should cry, and there are also times when you need to be able to hold back your tears, but you still cry.

If you are wondering how to control such emotions, this information is just for you. But at the same time, remember that the old stereotypes that tears are a purely female emotional reaction are all in the past. Nowadays, all people cry. This is actually sometimes beneficial because crying balances your emotions and relieves stress.

Of course, there are times in life when you don’t want anyone to see your tears. Fair. You decide when, where and for how long you will do it, right? But if you don't know how to control your tears, then sometimes everyone can see them when you don't want them to.

If you want to know how to stop yourself from crying in the worst situations, here are 13 tips to help you control your tears.

Breathe

Everything is exactly the same as in the movies. Just breathe deeper. Now it's our turn to tell you about it! Focus on your breathing, take long, deep breaths. If you have trouble concentrating and you can hardly breathe due to anxiety, try to focus on someone else's breathing.

Pinch yourself

Crying is always very difficult to control because it is a psychological response to a particular situation. So you can control it by using physical force to create a distraction. If you want to know how to stop crying, pinch yourself. Surprisingly, this will distract you and you will focus on the physical pain instead. However, be careful not to overdo it. All you need is one solid nail prick or pinch.

Tighten your muscles

If you want to control your tears, try tensing your muscles. When people cry, it means they feel passive and helpless. Therefore you should do the opposite. When you tighten your muscles, you will feel more confident and thus will not cry.

Drink something cold

This is kind of a weird tip when it comes to how to stop crying at inappropriate times, but it really works. Your tears are stimulated by the facial nerve. Therefore, all that needs to be done is to stimulate the facial nerve with another sensation.

You need to pour yourself a glass cold water and drink like you're dying of thirst. This will stimulate the endings of the facial nerve and at the same time shift your attention away from the unpleasant news that is about to make you cry.

Step back

It is obvious that there is something in your environment that upsets you. So, if you can, try to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. Try to avoid moments that will trigger these emotions, at least for a while, until you calm down. It's not worth it.

Pay attention to your thoughts

What makes you cry? Why do you cry when you see someone cheating on someone or when your dog licks your face? Perhaps some memories from childhood cause these emotions? Ask yourself these questions so you can understand what's upsetting you. This way, the next time the situation is the same, you will recognize the triggers.

Look away

It may sound and look a little strange, but if it works, why not? Look away, turn your attention to someone else. This may actually help you hold back your tears. Of course, people around you may throw strange glances in your direction, but keep looking around until you calm down. Do whatever you can to help you stop crying.

Physical movements

Don't sit in your chair - this will only make the situation worse. You need to get up and move around, for example, you can clean the room or go for a coffee break. Move, because this is the only way you can distract yourself. Your main goal is to escape from bad thoughts.

Try to push the lump out of your throat

You know what we're talking about. This lump is causing all the problems. When you are about to cry, you can feel it building in your throat. You need to get rid of this obstacle as quickly as possible if you don’t want to burst into tears. So, take a couple of sips of water, keep some in your mouth and sip slowly.

Don't listen to happy music

You probably thought that positive music would not be on this list, but often these are the tunes that bring tears. It is best to listen to sad music. This will help you regulate your emotions and calm down.

Think about the future

Perhaps you just broke up with your partner or lost your job. If you can't help but cry at this moment, think about the future and tell yourself that everything will be fine. You may be worried deep down, but this will help you look to the future rather than the current situation.

Talk

This may seem a little strange, but when you feel like you're about to cry, just talk to yourself. Yes, it probably seems strange, but it really helps to calm down, especially if you have no one else to talk to. If you have friends, talk to them about how you are feeling. Verbally releasing emotions can prevent tears from escaping from your eyes.

Let it all out

Over time, you will learn to hold back your tears, but at some point you will need to let out everything that has boiled up, everything that you have been hiding inside for so long. There is no point in holding these negative feelings inside yourself. Find a place where you feel comfortable to cry.

Take a warm bath or watch a sad movie. No matter how you want it to turn out, just do it. In the morning you will feel much better.

While it's important to let go of these emotions, sometimes you just don't want to or shouldn't do it. So, try some of these tips to stop yourself from crying the next time you feel like the tears are about to burst out.

First, try each of these methods separately, determine the most effective ones for yourself. And then you can experiment, combining two or more methods; everything will depend, so to speak, on the complexity of the situation. The main thing is not to cry at the most inopportune moment, and this is what you are striving for. Learn to control your emotions when necessary.

Life situations are such that sometimes a person cannot do without tears. Triumph, resentment, disappointment torment the soul and do not allow you to calm down. So what should you do if you want to cry? Sometimes the wave can afford it. Nerves will return to normal, the person will calm down, and the mood will even improve. Of course, if there are a lot of people around, then you shouldn’t cry too much in public, but it’s okay to wipe away a few tears. This is normal excitement, no one will mind. But you shouldn’t manipulate your tears. This will often have no effect or even cause negative attitudes from others. Not everyone likes it when people try to manipulate them through tearfulness.

So why do people cry?

• Sensitive subtle nervous system;
• Too emotional (actors, artists, people of art);
• There are nerve diseases;
• They relieve tension in this way.

Of course, these points are conditional, and they are all interconnected, but some people really cry a lot. Men are more often shy, trying to hold back the flow of tears, but they end up with problems and illnesses, because tears relieve stress better than clenched teeth. It’s okay if sometimes tears well up in your eyes, it’s not a shame, it’s the body getting rid of the accumulated nervous load.

How to cope with depression?

Sometimes if you are sad and want to cry, you just need to try to distract yourself. Tears are a reaction to pain, resentment, stress, so you can give yourself physical exercise, go to training, do hard work that will displace worries. If you constantly replay the offense in your head, it will be harder. In this regard, it is easier for optimists, more difficult for pessimists. They are more vulnerable and are not always self-confident.

How to relieve a fit of tears?

If you really want to cry, you better cry. This way the body will quickly return to normal and calm down. Suppressed feelings are more dangerous. They cause heart disease and other nervous problems. Anyone who constantly restrains the desire to cry often has a harder time experiencing all the emotional upheavals that befall him. Therefore, if you are angry, breathe deeply, drink water or cry. Of course, it is better to do this not in front of everyone. But even strong man has the right to tears of joy or sadness, there is no need to be afraid of it.

Tears for no reason

If you want to cry for no reason, it means your body is simply tired. There may be a difficult situation at home or at work. In this case, take a vacation and change your surroundings. If it doesn’t help, consult a doctor; perhaps some kind of nervous disease is manifesting itself. If you constantly hold back your emotions, your health may fail and result in a runny nose, hay fever, asthma or other illnesses. Change your life, smile more often. Look for positive moments that will make you happy no matter what.