Current page: 4 (book has 23 pages total) [available reading passage: 16 pages]

Font:

100% +

How to Awaken Primal, Exciting, Sexual Sensations in Your Booty

Let's now talk about the third technique for your main organ of romantic love. This technique creates in your Prey those initial, exciting feelings that overwhelm people when they begin to fall in love.

When talking, people tend to look away at the end of sentences or during pauses, unless they are infatuated with the other person (or hopelessly in love). Expression “he couldn’t take his eyes off her” not just a metaphor. People who love each other not only indulge in much longer eye contact during conversations, but also do not look away from each other even after they finish talking. It's very exciting when someone's gaze lingers on you during silence after you've finished speaking.

A few years ago I hired a carpenter to add an extra window to my office. Jerry wasn't a handsome man, he certainly wasn't an intellectual giant, but for some inexplicable reason I found him extremely attractive. Jerry had an indefinable, mysterious quality. It was something exciting, primal, sexy.

I did not allow myself, however, to indulge my little hobby. Perhaps I thought that the carpenter's seduction would not be socially acceptable, nor politically correct, nor, on the other hand, desirable under these conditions. Or maybe Jerry’s other qualities didn’t match my “love map.” Nevertheless, thoughts of Jerry filled my fantasies for several weeks.

I haven't seen him for several years. Then, most recently, while working on this book, I needed shelves to store research materials. Naturally, I called Jerry. He came to my door, ten pounds heavier, three years older, but still just as sexy. This time, after five minutes of our conversation, I understood why I was so attracted to him. Every time I said something, Jerry's eyes would linger on me. After I stopped talking, even during silence, his eyes remained glued to me. This feature was what I found so exciting, so exciting, so sexy.

As our conversation about shelves continued, I also realized Why Jerry made prolonged eye contact. He wasn't trying to be sexy at all. He wasn't fascinated by me. It wasn't because he couldn't take his eyes off me. This was simply because he was not particularly bright, and it took extra time for my phrases like “I need shelves that are eleven inches wide” to sink into his head.

Now we will turn this into a technique for awakening primal, exciting, sexual sensations that can shock your new Potential Love Partner.

Technique No. 5:

“Sticky” look

Whenever you speak to your Prey, let your eyes remain glued to her or him a little longer than usual - even during silence.

A gaze held for a while awakens primitive, slightly exciting feelings and sensations. It triggers the release of the same chemicals that flow through our veins when we feel in love.

If you must look away, do so reluctantly. Avert your eyes slowly, as if they were stuck in your Prey like taffy on your teeth.

Now we come to the final way in which our eyes can cause the aforementioned chemicals to flow through the veins of our Prey. There are carefully choreographed actions that a man and woman must take when they meet each other so that the love between them can grow and develop.

One of these necessary actions requires the participation of our eyes. A curious phenomenon occurs with the eyes when a man and a woman begin to feel comfortable and calm with each other and the music of love begins to echo in their bodies. When lovers are lulled by positive emotions, their eyes become bolder. They begin, gently and lovingly, to slowly wander over each other’s face, hair, and eyes. Then they become more confident and decide to lower themselves down onto the shoulders, neck and torso of their partner. The time of fantasies and dreams is coming.

To take your relationship with your new Prey to that next level of intimacy, use a technique I call “visual journey”. As you speak, allow your eyes to slowly move down from your nose to your lips. Touch your lips with your gaze for a moment or two, then allow yourself to slowly lower your gaze further, to your neck, and then, if everything goes well, then lower.

Technique No. 6:

“Visual Journey”

When talking to your Prey, let your eyes move and wander a little - but only in safe territory at first. Take a “visual journey” through his or her face, focusing mainly on the eyes. If he or she seems to be enjoying your expedition, make small excursions towards the neck, shoulders and torso.

Women, you can move more freely in this area. Men, be more careful. You are sailing in dangerous latitudes and can destroy the ship if your eyes travel too far south and stay there for too long.

These four eye tricks are: “Deep Gaze”, “Seductive Gaze”, “Sticky” Gaze” and “Visual Journey”– are scientifically proven and tested aphrodisiacs 10
Aphrodisiacs are drugs that enhance sexual desire. – Note per.

When you try them on your Prey, you will feel the results. However, you don't need any science to understand that you can't make anyone fall in love until you are introduced to him or her and introduced to each other. Unless, of course, you were able to arrange an acquaintance without outside help. In common parlance this is called “picking up” or “picking up” someone. Proponents of political correctness would reject the term with disgust. As for me, I have nothing against this concept - as long as it is done, say, in a way that is decent, appropriate to the situation and befits the people involved in it.

Let us now learn some basics of this art. We will look at how you can arrange an acquaintance with a Potential Love Partner without any outside help.

8. Your first encounter

Biologists, observing how animals, meeting each other, sniff, growl, hiss, then sniff each other and, finally, copulate, have established the presence of a certain courtship ritual that is repeated again and again. The same patterns of behavior in the form of submission and aggression were repeated over and over again. If the sequence of actions of an individual deviates from the standard behavior pattern, copulation often does not occur.

There is no difference between animals and species Homo sapiens(that's us), but we are facing a major obstacle. Unlike most animals, our brains don't follow our instincts. In other words, we think too much. We ask ourselves and other people around us too many questions. “Will he consider me too frank? Should I appear unavailable? Do I look good? Is my tie tied correctly? Maybe I should go to the toilet first and put on some lipstick?” Constraint often takes over and paralyzes us, and we behave like a deer who, upon entering the road, freezes in the headlights of an approaching car.

Rabbits do not have these reflexes. Shouldn't have them either us, when we notice our Prey. We should simply take the steps that researchers say are correct when we notice him or her.

Gentlemen, what should you do if you meet a woman you would like to be part of your future? There is no room for debate here. You must approach her, and you must do it quickly. The old proverb “He who is late is late” is, alas, a harsh reality in the jungle of lonely people.

One day, my male friend (PDM - platonic male friend - that’s what we called male friends for whom we did not have tender feelings at the institute) and I were having lunch at a restaurant. My PDM Phil saw an extremely beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar counter behind him. He turned to me and declared: “This is the woman I am going to marry!”

"Congratulations. How are you going to meet her?” – I asked defiantly.

“We’ll see,” he thought. “I guess I’ll just go up to her and say hi.” “No,” he decided. – This is too primitive when it comes to my future bride. Maybe I should go over and buy her a drink... No, that's corny. Or maybe,” he joked, “I’ll come up and say that I’m passionately in love with her.” No, that's too arrogant. Should I tell her that I want her to be the mother of my children? No, it’s premature.”

While Phil joked about this, I looked over his shoulder as a pleasant man walked straight up to Phil's chosen one and sat down in the empty chair next to her. By the time my friend turned around, this newbie and Phil's would-be fiancee were deep in conversation. “Love at first sight” became “defeat at first sight” for Phil. As usually happens with Hunters who doubt and hesitate.

What is the best strategy if you notice an attractive lady? Let your body do the talking. First, use your eyes. Look at her and hold eye contact for a few extra seconds. Be prepared for her to look away. Women are accustomed to lowering their eyes when a man looks at them. This doesn't mean she isn't interested in you. Analysis of courtship behavior patterns tells us that if, after averting her eyes, a woman raises them again within 45 seconds, she is pleased with your attention.

Gentlemen, please note the time. If she pretends to suddenly be extremely interested in something else in the room, see how long it takes for her to look at you again. If this happens within 45 seconds, proceed as written below.

Technique No. 7 (for Hunters):

Act quickly

“Act quickly” does not mean that you hover around your Prey like a bee, scaring it to death. This means that you immediately make her aware of your presence by showing your interest in her. Here is the best method.

Make eye contact. Maintain direct eye contact with her and keep it a little longer than usual.

Smile at her. Make sure your smile is friendly and respectful and does not look like a sly grin or a lustful grimace.

Nod to her. If she looks at you again within the crucial 45 seconds, give her a slight nod. A nod means: “I like you. Can I talk to you?”

Get closer to her. The last step is to get close enough to her to talk.

Smile and nod your head to her. Think of it like making a reservation at a high-end restaurant. When you get a woman's attention, you reserve the opportunity to talk to her. Let go of all thoughts of “what will she think of me if I head towards her and approach her too quickly?” She Nothing She won’t think about you - neither good nor bad - if you never get to know her. If you don't start act quickly That each the woman will be the one who passes you by.

You are now in your starting position for the conversation. What should you tell her first? Get the expression “opening words” out of your head. The words will come to your mind. After my seminars on the psychology of love, many shy Hunters asked me: “What opening words are appropriate in this situation?” It terribly touches me that men are concerned about such problems.

One day, an extremely shy guy attending my seminar pulled out of his pocket a wrinkled book called “How to Meet Girls.” Apparently he was not the first to study this manual. The book is 25 years old and has sold two million copies, largely through advertising in men's magazines. She suggested using compliments that are approximately as ancient as the world: “Don’t tell me that such a beautiful girl like you isn’t dating anyone today” or “Are you, by any chance, a fashion model?” These masterpieces of wit may have worked when our dads were dating our moms, but in these more enlightened times, women pay little attention to words. What is much more important is not What you say and How you look and How you speak, no matter what you say.

Gentlemen, your opening words should be relevant to the woman or the current situation. Ask her what time it is. Compliment her watch or appearance. Ask her to show you the way. Ask how she met the host or hostess of the party. In fact, the less abstruse your words are, the better, because at the beginning of the relationship she is not yet evaluating your words - she is considering you. Her brain is busy processing information and forming an opinion about you based on your appearance, demeanor, and the words you say. No matter what you say she knows, that this is just a reason for you to talk to her. If she likes you, she's okay with that.

Although you don't have to memorize any introductions, you must pay attention to the first words you say. Just as the first sight of you should delight the eye of your Prey, so your first words should delight her ears. Remember that the first sentence spoken to your Prey 100 percent determines its further attitude towards you. If this is a complaint, then to her you will remain a bore. If you start with a smug remark, she will remember you as a braggart. But if your first words please her, she will find you charming.

Gentlemen, you must be wondering why you should keep a low profile. Why should you be discerning and careful at the very beginning of a relationship? All this is inherent in us by nature. When she looks at you, deep within her instinctive feminine essence, a subconscious judgment is formed about you as a potential partner. She wants to feel that you are attracted to her. But she also wants to know that you are able to control your animal passions, showing what a polite and helpful partner you can be in life.

This is also one part of the great plan of nature. In the animal kingdom, individuals thirsting for love attract each other by singing, screaming, and dancing. They are much more outspoken than Homo sapiens. Female chimpanzees, in the heat of passion, noticing their Prey, “wander around the male, placing their buttocks right under his nose to attract his attention. Then they literally force him to copulate.” This behavior is known as “female provocativeness.” “The provocativeness of the female” (as opposed to the “receptivity” of the female) is known to our species, although we, I hope, are not so frank.

How do women start dating? In the same way as children. Just like birds, bugs and all of God's other wonderful creatures: using various tricks to attract attention.

Ladies, imagine that you notice Mr. Handsome Stranger - dancing at the disco, sitting across from you at the table, or puffing away on the nearby exercise machine at the gym. What should you do? Usually it goes something like this. Noticing him, the woman looks at him for a split second and then looks away. More courageous women smile and Then they look away, hoping that he will take the initiative (after all, she doesn’t want to seem arrogant).

Just as out of fifty thousand seeds scattered by a flower only one sprouts, your chances of falling in love with Mr. Handsome Stranger may be no more than one in fifty thousand if all your efforts are limited to that. You have to do more than just smile and leave everything else to chance.

Let's look at the research results and see what's really works and produces results. Researcher Monica Moore probably also heard that women initiate two-thirds of all dating relationships, and decided to find out exactly how they do it. She conducted a study in which she observed the behavior of more than two hundred women at parties and recorded what scientists call “nonverbal seductive signals.”

Here, in descending order, are the results of Monica Moore's research. The number associated with each action shows the number of times Moore observed it to produce a positive result during the experiment. Need some explanation? Huntresses, these actions make a man come up to you at a party and talk to you.

Sisters, don't hesitate feel free to take action first. If you don't have the courage, look at it this way. Choosing a mate is a right given to a woman during evolution so that she can find the best male and thus ensure the survival of the species. You are simply fulfilling your natural destiny when you openly seduce Mr. Handsome Stranger. Mother Nature will vindicate you.

Still shy? Do you think that he will consider you too arrogant if you smile broadly in a crowd or “accidentally” adjust your dress in front of him? Nothing like that, because, fortunately, the male ego is retroactive 11
Retroactivity is the impact of a current event or process on events or processes that took place previously. – Approx. lane

In ten minutes, he won’t even realize that it was not he who made the first attempt to make an acquaintance. Researcher Monica Moore said that men think they are making the first move toward dating, when in fact they are only responding to a woman's nonverbal invitation.

I decided to contribute to the research started by Monica Moore while recently dining at a restaurant in Albany, New York. The next morning I had to teach a group of single people, so now, as I finished breakfast, I went over the program for tomorrow's seminar in my head. In my speech, I planned to discuss the “smile problem,” that is, to explain to women how important it is for men to smile.

I thought to myself: “Leil, you are terribly hypocritical. Tomorrow morning you will be telling women how important it is to have the courage to smile at strangers, but you will never have the courage to do it yourself.” While thinking about this, I noticed a pleasant man who was finishing his lunch a few tables away from me, reading. I thought, “So, Leil, a little courage. Try". I took it and smiled at this handsome stranger.

The poor guy looked stunned and looked down at his book in embarrassment. Soon he picked them up again. I smiled again. Once again his nose disappeared behind the pages of the book. A few minutes later, the charming stranger stood up and walked past my table to the toilet. As he walked past, I forced myself to smile again. Completely confused, the guy continued walking, scratching the back of his head.

Then things got even more interesting. On his way back he passed my table very slowly. Once again I looked at him and, as you probably guessed, smiled. Mister Handsome Stranger stopped. After so many smiles, it was only logical to start the conversation as if we had known each other for a very long time. He sat down at my table.

I invited this gentleman - his name was Sam - to attend my seminar the next morning, which he did. To illustrate the “smile” part of my seminar, I told the seminar participants a story (without giving Sam away, of course) about how my smile helped secure an acquaintance with a lonely man having lunch.

After the seminar, Sam said: “You know, Leil, it seems to me that in this story you were talking about me. But,” he added, looking very embarrassed, but quite sincere, “I thought that it was I who took the first step towards you". Of course, Sam.

I tell you, sisters, the male ego is an amazing thing. Have the courage to smile broadly, nod, point to a chair and invite him to sit - or choose almost any of Monica Moore's tactical maneuvers - and he will forget that he was not the one who made the first move.

Technique No. 8 (for Hunters):

Act first

Hunters, when you have your Prey in mind, don't wait for him to do something. Nature demands that you take the first step. Use any of the tried and tested techniques. They all act as if you had injected a dose of PEA into his buttock.

How to make anyone fall in love with you

Fulfilling the promise of the book's title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, we present 85 techniques based on scientific research into the nature of romantic love.

1. Anyone? Yes, almost anyone

"I don't understand. I have everything - attractiveness, intelligence, sensuality, sophistication. Why doesn't he or she fall in love with me? Why can't I find my love? How many times have you pounded your pillow with your fists while asking yourself this question?

You open the book skeptically, but still with hidden hope. You are reading the title: “How to make anyone fall in love with you.”

“This is a very serious promise,” you say. Indeed, it is so. But this promise can be fulfilled if you decide to follow a scientifically proven plan to win the heart of a Potential Love Partner.

Why, when life is full of stories of broken hearts, do we still claim that there are ways to make anyone fall in love? Because after centuries of inaction, science has finally figured out what romantic love really is, how it starts, what makes it last, and what kills it.

Like the ancient savage who saw a solar eclipse and thought it was black magic, we looked at love and thought it was magic. Sometimes, especially in those happy first moments, when we want to stop passers-by on the street and shout loudly: “I’m in love!” – love can seem like magic. But as we enter the 21st century, we discover that love is a very definite and calculable mixture of chemistry, biology and psychology. (Well, maybe a little black magic to boot.)

As the ship of science set sail for uncharted seas, we finally began to understand the basis of this “wildest, most deceptive, and most transitory of passions,” as George Bernard Shaw described love. What makes people want to stay in this “excited, abnormal and debilitating state constantly until death do them part”? The question and confusion about what love really is is not new at all. They are the kind of questions that have been seriously considered over the centuries by titans of thought such as Plato, Sigmund Freud and Charlie Brown.

In a darkened Broadway theater in 1950, the audience of the musical “South Pacific” was in complete agreement with its hero Eizo Pinza as he mused, “Who can explain this? Who can tell you why? Fools will name hundreds of reasons. The sages will not even try.” Well there's been a lot of wise men and women lately already tried and succeeded in this. Don't blame the musical's writers, Rodgers and Hammerstein. When they wrote their romantic plays, the scientific community was as confused about love as the musical characters who sing about their bewilderment over one magical evening.

Science discovers sexuality

Long before Sigmund Freud took up the subject, analytical scientific minds agreed that love is one of the fundamental foundations of human experience.

But at the same time, they believed that assessing, classifying and defining romantic love was impossible, and therefore such research was a waste of time and money. On his deathbed, Freud declared: “We really know very little about love.”

His dying words remained a scientific doctrine for a long time. At least until the early 70s, when a group of radical socio-psychologists again turned to the eternal problems of scientists: why? And How? They began asking themselves and everyone they could lure into their laboratories questions about romantic love.

Two women made a breakthrough, inadvertently focusing the attention of the modern press on an ancient question: what is love? Helen Berschied, Ph.D., and her colleague Elaine Hatfield were able to secure an $84,000 federal grant to study romantic love. Berschied convinced the National Science Foundation to cough up the cash, saying, “We already understand stickleback mating behavior. It’s time to turn to other species.”

Bershid's study, like so many others before it, might have gone unnoticed and unpublished, occupying only a dozen pages in an obscure specialist journal. Fortunately for all those looking for love, former United States Senator from Wisconsin William Proxmire was looking through papers one morning on Capitol Hill. Deep in the pile of papers, he unearthed a National Science Foundation regulation giving two women a “frivolous” grant to study interpersonal relationships.

The skies have opened over Proxmere! Eighty four thousand dollars to study what? He immediately drafted a blistering press release declaring that romantic love is not a science at all, and generally, he snarled, “National Science Foundation, stop this love scam. Leave it to Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Irving Berlin." Further, Proxmire added on his own: “Personally, I am also against this because I don’t want to know the answer.” He assumed that everyone felt the same way. How wrong he was!

Proxmere's protest sparked a worldwide outcry that raged around Bershid for the next two years. "Special issue! Everyone read about it! The National Science Foundation is committed to studying love!” Newspapers devoted their front pages to this. Cameras and microphones eagerly pointed towards Bershid. The researchers' quiet office was littered with mail.

Proxmire's criticism misfired. Instead of putting an end to the “frivolous quest,” this press fuss created a passionate interest in the study of love. James Reston of the New York Times said that if Bershied and others could “solve the mystery of romantic love, marriage, disappointment, divorce and abandoned children, it would be the best investment of government money since Jefferson purchased Louisiana.” .

It was as if Helen Berschied had burst a dam that had been holding back interest in the topic for a long time. There is still a rapid stream of research taking a close look at every aspect of love. Respected scientists, specialists in the field of social sciences with big names, such as Foa, Murstein, Dion, Aron, Rubin, and many others, relatively little known outside the scientific world, presented a gift that has not yet been revealed to us - a gift that we “ Let’s expand” only now: as a result of their research, we can find out (although this was not their goal at all) how to make anyone fall in love with us.

Some studies do not lead us directly to this goal. To find the research papers I needed, I had to comb through hundreds of research studies with unwieldy titles such as “Effects of Orientation Change on Dyadic Functioning in Heterosexual Cohabitors” (what does that mean?). Some studies involved mice listening to classical music, then jazz and blues, to find out what made them more sexually aroused. Other studies that were not helpful to our goal looked at sexual attraction to cadavers; There have also been studies of stationary tantric intercourse, which I assume only works when the ship on which the couple is taking a marriage cruise gets into a violent sea.

Fortunately, many studies have yielded more delicious and practical results. Particularly useful was the work of an intrepid researcher, a doctor of psychology named Timothy Perper, who spent many hours observing research subjects in his favorite laboratory, a singles bar. We will also be helped by the wonderful scientific works of Robert Sternberg and his colleagues who studied various theories of love. We draw on insightful research into the core traits of obsession and falling in love by Dorothy Tennow and others. Among others were intrepid, if relatively unknown, researchers such as Carol Ronai. She actually took a job as a dancer at a strip bar to find out what facial expressions sexually arouse men.

How the materials for this book were collected

My own first exploration, although less daring, was no less vigorous. More than ten years before I became a consultant and trainer in communication technologies, I was the director of a research group I created called The Project.

The Project was a New York-based non-profit organization founded to study sexuality and interpersonal relationships. During my time leading the Project, I surveyed and compiled the responses of several thousand people about what they were looking for in an ideal partner. I collected information from students at many institutes where I was invited to talk about my research.

Like the work of researcher Hélène Berschied, the “Project” attracted intense public attention, making it the subject of national discussion. A Time magazine reporter covering one of our meetings wrote a full-page article declaring, “Sexual Fantasies are Now on Broadway,” which was generally true.

One of the divisions of the “Project” attracted volunteers who presented their love fantasies on stage in the form of a psychodrama. Because there was no nudity or explicit speech, these wordless dramatizations were unusual and one-of-a-kind and attracted the attention of three major television networks, which featured excerpts from these productions on national programs. In turn, this led to a lot of publications in respected and widely known publications in America and Europe.

As a result, people from all over the world sent us their stories and fantasies about their passionate desires and thirst for love. They called or wrote to The Project, describing in detail and precisely what they were looking for in a romantic partner. Most of the letters or calls we received began with words like “I never told anyone about this, but...”. Callers and writers then revealed their deepest desires to the anonymous “Project.” We listened to them, listened with gratitude, because we received information from them about what makes or what can make a person fall in love.

How techniques and techniques were developed

Let's leave the world of sexuality for a moment. Let's move on to my second specialty - in the field of communication and communication. This is where I conducted my research and distilled it into effective techniques and techniques that can make anyone fall in love with you.

It has long been proven that there are ways to induce desired behavior in people beyond any doubt. If such methods did not exist, then all psychologists and thousands of corporate trainers, including me, would be left without work. There are established methods for inducing different emotions and changing people's behavior. For example, we can learn how to deal with difficult people or how to get unruly employees to behave in a desired way.

Feedback from participants in workshops I have conducted for government agencies, universities, trade unions and businesses has convinced me that we can indeed cause changes in the behavior patterns of others. We solve this complex problem by first understanding people's basic needs, motives and drives, and then applying the right verbal and non-verbal skills to change their behavior.

That's exactly what I do in this book. Based on scientific research, I identify the basic needs, motives and drives that make a person fall in love. Then I give you the right verbal and non-verbal skills to produce the behavior you want - in this case, making a person fall in love with you.

This book is the result of many years of research and exploration in several areas of knowledge: interpersonal relationships, human sexuality, communication skills and gender differences. We used not only scientific research on the nature of love and my own research, but also took into account the work of modern therapists and analysts in the field of communication and communications. I am especially grateful to sociolinguist Deborah Tannen for her work and therapist John Gray for his witty analogies between Mars and Venus; It was he who made it common knowledge that men and women have extremely different styles of thinking and communicating.

What is the recipe for falling in love, the recipe for making someone fall in love with you? Can it be reduced to a formula? What you will read below sounds very simple, but is actually quite complex.

You should start by learning the solid science behind what attracts people to each other. Then you collect complete information about your Extraction(that is, about the person you want to make fall in love with you). Next, you use sophisticated, often subconscious, communication techniques to satisfy his or her conscious and unconscious needs. Finally, you master your Prey by intimately understanding what exactly he or she desires sexually. Here it is - the formula of love, the recipe for how to make your Potential Love Partner fall in love with you.

How I tested the tricks and techniques

I was not content with just scientific research. I needed to see if these techniques would work in the field. Several years ago, to test my theories, I created a seminar with the same name as this book: “How to make anyone fall in love with you.”

Invitations came from all over the country - from colleges, singles groups, dating clubs, educational organizations. It was in this field that the material of the book was tested. My students responded: “Yes!” It is quite possible to make a person fall in love with you.

Is this task easy? No.

Does it require sacrifices? Yes.

After reading this book, you may decide that winning his or her heart simply isn't worth that much dedication. But if you really want to take it on, follow me. We will learn the skills needed to accomplish this task of making your chosen Potential Love Partner fall in love with you. (Did you notice that I used the words Potential Love Partner repeatedly. I will continue to use them because, although this expression is cumbersome, it is more accurate than the phrase anyone, which my American publisher wisely considered easier to read.)

Who are your Potential Love Partners? First of all, a Potential Love Partner (PLP) is anyone who is ready to love. Timing means, if not everything, then at least a lot. For example, if someone has just lost a loved one, he or she may not be ready for love. This removes him or her—temporarily—from the PLP category.

Secondly, a Potential Love Partner is anyone, free from hidden psychological needs. These are needs that you - through no fault of your own - will not be able to satisfy. We'll talk a lot more about your Prey's “love cards” later.

This leaves many Potential Love Partners, countless hearts to choose from. Let us now take the path that will lead you to the heart of the man or woman you desire.

2. What makes people fall in love? Six components

What are these long-awaited results of Bershid's first research and the many studies that followed? Well, perhaps Freud was right. romantic love really mysterious. It is difficult to catch it and turn it into bits and bytes of information available for management and calculation. And vice versa, treating it like a virus, scientists discover individual characteristic features of love, recording more and more of its facets over and over again. So they have come a long way.

From this cascade of research, six truths stand out about what makes people fall in love. To be a successful Hunter or Huntress and an experienced heartthrob, you must, like Cupid, be an accurate archer and shoot your arrows at the bull's-eye of the next six targets.

I. First impressions
You'll never get a second chance at love at first sight

The first moments when you notice your Prey - and he or she glances at you - can be decisive. Here the decision is made: “like it - don’t like it”, “suitable - not suitable”. Scientists tell us that the seeds of love are often planted during the first few minutes of a relationship.

When two cats meet for the first time, they stop and look at each other. If one of them begins to hiss, then the second’s fur stands on end, and it hisses in response. However, if the first cat nuzzles the other with its cold nose, the other responds in kind and they walk off together, purring and licking each other.

At the moment of acquaintance, a man and a woman are like two small animals sniffing each other. We don't have tails to wag or fur to stand on end, but we do have eyes whose pupils dilate or constrict. We have hands that clench into fists or rise, opening their palms to the interlocutor, as if wanting to tell him: “I obey.” There are many other involuntary reactions that take place in the first few moments of interaction. The good news is that we can learn to control these seemingly involuntary reactions.

The moment you set your eyes on each other, your Potential Love Partner subconsciously reads the subtle “intonations” of your body language. In these first critical moments, he or she unconsciously decides whether to strive for the soaring of romantic experiences or to abandon all thoughts of love. His or her mind becomes like a computer and your PLP continues to make quick decisions during your first conversation, first date.

In the first part of the book, we will look at the methods and techniques for luring, attracting a Potential Love Partner to you, making him like you and then setting up a first date. I'll share with you scientifically proven techniques for having a compelling conversation and ways to create a first date that will excite your Booty.

II. Similar personalities, complementary needs
I need a loved one who will be like me, my beloved (well, almost like...)

If you pass the test of first impressions, you are entering the second phase of the relationship. This is where your Prey begins to make judgments about you as a Potential Love Partner. His or her subconscious mind says, “I need someone who is just like me. Well almost same".

If compatibility is required for life or even just one date, some similarity is necessary. Our hearts are finely tuned instruments that search for that person whose values ​​are similar to ours, who holds similar views to ours, and who views the world in much the same way as we do. Similarity makes us feel good because it confirms the decisions and alternatives we spend our entire lives making. We are looking for people who enjoy the same activities as us, so that we can enjoy spending time together. Similarity is indeed the launching pad for a good relationship to take off.

But we get bored too much great similarity. Besides, we need someone to fill our shortcomings. If we both aren't good at math, who will balance the checkbook? If we are sloppy, who will pick up our socks?

Therefore we are also looking for complementary qualities in our long-term love partner. But not any complementary qualities are only those that we find interesting or that improve our lives. Thus, we are looking for someone who is both similar and complementary us.

In Part 2, we will explore methods for cultivating a subconscious sense of similarity in your Seed's heart and ways to make him or her understand that although you two are generally similar, you are different in many practical, fun and interesting ways. sides of life.

Ellen S. Berscheid is an American psychologist and sociologist, Ph.D., author of numerous publications and studies in the field of interpersonal relationships. – Approx. lane

John Gray is an American psychologist and therapist, an expert in the psychology of interpersonal relationships and family psychology. Author of the books “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” (1992) (in Russian translation - “Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.” M., Novosti, 1997), “Mars and Venus, Together Forever” (1994) (in Russian translation - “Mars and Venus together and forever.” M., Novosti, 1997) and many others. – Approx. lane

Part one
First impressions
You'll never get a second chance at love at first sight

6. How to make a great first impression
First impressions last forever
Be ready for love - always!
Stay mentally "ready to hunt"

7. How to spark love at first sight.
How long should eye contact last for
imitate love?
How to make your gaze seductive, exciting and seductive
How to awaken primal, exciting, sexual sensations in your Booty.
A mischievous frank look.

8. Your first encounter
The high art of “picking up” (and not only for men)..
Hunters, take the first step... quickly.
Hunters, take a quick step... first.
The first step that gives results (for women).
How women successfully take the first step.

9. Body language..
Let your body speak for you.
Dance of Intimacy
When you are the Prey.
A word that can save your relationship.
“But it’s so simple!”

10. Your first conversation.
Conversation is about creating beautiful music together.
Conversation is like making love.
Conversation as the art of selling
How to find out what topics your Prey is interested in.
How to Fool Your Prey and Make Him Think You Both Are Already in Love with Each Other
How to achieve even greater intimacy by bringing intimacy into your relationship
Make your lifestyle "fit" with your Booty's "love map"

11. Your first date
Now the game begins in earnest
“How quickly should I take action?”
"Looking inaccessible - is it necessary or not?"
The Best First Date, Science-Based and Experimentally Proven
Get your Booty in awe on the first date.
Sprout the seeds of similarity.
Restaurant for the first date
Men, mind your good manners.
Hunters, be lenient with his weaknesses and shortcomings
First date clothes
"I have nothing to wear" (Women, don't worry about it. Men, worry about it.)

Part two
Similar characters, complementary needs.
I need a loved one who will be like me, my beloved (well, almost like...)!

12. “Me and you baby, we're so alone in this crazy, crazy world.”
Similarities... and a few differences (well, just a little)

13. How to create a subconscious feeling of similarity..
How to Immediately Make Your Prey Feel:
“But we’re almost the same!”
Words that give your Prey "that sense of family"...
"We even speak the same (body) language."

14. How to create a conscious sense of similarity.
Three Essential Points of Conscious Contact
Similarity number one: “Do we like doing things together?” ..
Similarity number two: “Do we have similar views on life?”..
Similarity number three: “What is love?”
Let's talk about our relationship. - No need!

15. How to establish complementary needs.
"I have exactly what you need, darling."

Part Three
Ego. How do you Love Me? Let me count all the possible ways

16. The whole world revolves around you, my Prey..
Ego massage requires high skill

17. Step one: silent praise...
Let your body exude praise

18. Step two: empathy (empathy).
"I agree with it!".
Lovers share intimate details.
Lovers have their own "private" jokes.

19. Step three: admiration.
"Oh, dear, you're just brilliant at cutting these mushrooms."

20. Step four: implicit compliment.
"You're too young to remember this, but..."
Stimulating compliment: “I adore what you
I like myself."

21. Step five: strike forces supported by tanks and heavy artillery.
"You are the most charming person I have ever
ever met (met)"
"What else does uttering murderous
compliments?"

22. Fine-tuning the ego mechanism
"Wait a minute. Does everyone like compliments?"
Reflexive praise*. "What you just did was amazing."
Be the first to laugh.
Lovers give each other affectionate nicknames.
When your Prey praises you.

Part Four
Justice
The action of the "CHZEDM" principle ("What Is Here For Me?") and other principles of a market economy in love

24. Everyone has a market value, baby.
Why is searching for love like trading horses?
For what currency can you “buy” yourself a good partner?
or a partner?

25. How can I use the principle of "fairness" to find
Love?.
In fact, you don't want to marry a handsome prince or marry a beautiful princess at all.
Why don't I want to get married?
What happens if inequality is discovered after
how we got married?

26. How important is appearance?
What type of appearance do women like?
What type of appearance do men like?
"How can I make my Prey think I look like
better?"
How to increase your chances of defeating Prey.

27. Pursuit of famous and wealthy Prey.
The appearance of the elite.
The language of the elite...
What do they talk about in high society?

28. Contributions to your other assets.
Knowledge, virtues and beauty of the soul are tangible,
real strengths and valuable assets.

29. Help them convince themselves that they love you.
Let your Prey serve you.
Hey! What about “lyrical Love, half angel and half bird”?

Part Five
The first "shura-mura"
Does love exist beyond the gates of heaven?

30. “I hope he’s not as much of an asshole as everyone else.”
"I need a man with whom I can talk; I
We need a woman who thinks like a man."

31. What is “men's talk” and what is “women's talk”?
(And do they really exist?).
32. "How do you feel about this?"
33. “Excuse me, could you tell me where...”.
34. “Please don’t spare me the details.”
35. “Tell me (don’t tell me) about it.”
36. What is the best way from point A to point B?
"Straight line!" - he declares. "Or maybe smooth
crooked?" she asks.
37. “Could you help me with this?”
38. Short words that will help win the heart of your Prey.
39. The dangerous waters of sexual differences are right ahead.

Part Six
Energy of sex
How to turn on sexual electricity

40. The most important erogenous zone of your Prey.
41. No two sexualities are the same, just like no two snowflakes are the same.
How different are the sexual desires of men and women?
Why are men's and women's fantasies so different?
Even more differences.
How to Use Differences to Make Your Prey Fall in Love with You.

42. Forget the Golden Rule when in bed.
A woman loves, a man passionately desires.

43. Hunters, make love to a woman the way she wants it
woman
A lesson that will take one hour and change your whole life.
Another "short course for a young fighter" in studying
passionate sensuality (for men).

44. Hunters, have sex with a man the way a man wants..
Go get the videotape.
Additional "obscene" materials for your
curriculum for learning about rough naked sex.
Comparison of porn films for women
and porn films for men

45. Test survey: who loves more, men or women?
Who falls in love faster? Men!.
Who is more idealistic in love? Men!.
Who is usually the first to break up a relationship?
Women!.
Who suffers more from a breakup? Men!
Who loves their partner (partner) more?
Men!

46. ​​Your Prey's sexual desires are as unique as fingerprints.
fingers.
Sex is like a gourmet dish.
Sexual desire number one
"Why is he or she losing interest in me?"
"Will this woman suit me sexually?
for the rest of my life?"

47. Huntresses, become sexual desire detectives.
Let your Prey know that you are relaxed, uninhibited and looking for sexual adventures
Find out about his most intimate fantasies
Make your Booty feel safe as he shares his most intimate desires with you.
The "murmurs" continue.
Do all men really have sexual secrets?
Ask for details and ask
mind-blowing questions.
Hunters, find out his keywords.
Give your Booty a good rap improv in bed.

48. Hunters, do these techniques work on women?
Pull back the deepest layers of her soul and you will discover even deeper fantasies and dreams behind them.
Love her the way she wants to be loved
Magic words that will make her love you
Hunters, keywords about your relationship can
work for you too.

49. We set the last trap for a convinced bachelor..
Why did Jerry like such unusual sex?
Walk through the dark side of the soul
Looking at other women
Last resort

Leil Lowndes

How to make anyone fall in love with you - 2. How to win the heart of a man or woman who previously seemed completely unattainable to you

© Leil Lowndes, 2004.

© Dobraya Kniga Publishing House LLC, 2004, translation and design.

All rights reserved. No part of the electronic version of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet or corporate networks, for private or public use without the written permission of the copyright owner.

Introduction

How many times, sitting in a cafe or restaurant, have you looked at your boyfriend or girlfriend and thought: “Well, why, why am I sitting next to this ... “frog”?” Perhaps you justified yourself: “There are no interesting men left in this city,” or “Until now, I have not met that magnificent woman I dreamed of,” or “All the decent suitors have already been taken away.”

Or perhaps you, with obvious masochism, attributed your failures to your imaginary shortcomings. Gentlemen, how many times, while dining in a restaurant with your next girlfriend, have you squinted your eyes to the side, secretly watching the beauty at the next table, flirting with her gentleman, and were quietly angry with yourself: “Yes, such a gorgeous beauty would never date me "?

Women, how many times at a gas station, sitting in an old dilapidated car and waiting for your boyfriend pumping diesel into this four-wheeled rarity, have you longingly looked at the sophisticated gentleman filling his Jaguar with high-octane gasoline and asked yourself: “Why can’t I get such a man?

Deep down, you know you deserve better. “If he got to know me better, he would see all my wonderful qualities and would certainly fall in love with me.”

In the meantime, you continue to date those whom, deep down, you consider unsuitable partners for yourself. Why? For what? The reasons for this lie much deeper than you think!

“What’s the matter?” - you ask. For example, you may simply be afraid to enter into a relationship with a more successful and attractive person because you do not want to risk damaging your own pride and self-esteem in case of failure. Secondly, you may have previously experienced a painful breakup with a person who was “not a match” for you, and now you are afraid of relationships with bright and extraordinary people. Or maybe you feel like you don’t have the money, a decent education, or the good looks to make friends with “worthy” people, even though you know you’re “too good” for the society you’re in right now.

Why is this happening? The thing is, you probably became picky not too long ago. Just as a person who has rapidly lost weight and is not yet accustomed to his new appearance still suffers “by inertia” from low self-esteem, you suffer from “inertia” in your own ideas about a “worthy” partner. You continue to meet people who completely suited you a few years ago, although now you evaluate them completely differently.

Or maybe you tried, but never mastered those techniques and skills that help you win the favor of people who are truly worthy of you. You have not made any effort to consciously develop in yourself those qualities that would allow you to kill everyone on the spot. You can easily lure a yard cat to the door of your house with a saucer of milk, but a purebred individual will not even look in your direction. In the same way, bright and extraordinary people, who are usually classified as the cream of society, differ from the majority: to seduce them, you need a completely different bait.

It's time for change

It's time to boost your self-esteem and radically improve your skills to attract the partner you could only dream of before. Once you become more discerning, you will discover that being elite is determined not by quantity, but by quality. Successful people do not at all strive to have mountains of clothes, carriages of furniture and a lot of contacts and fleeting connections. All they need is a few smart suits in their wardrobe, an elegant home furnished with the best furniture, and a life filled with meaningful relationships with a small circle of people they care about.

So in love, in the most important relationships for us, we want to have only one partner, an extraordinary man or a wonderful woman with whom we could live our lives together. We are accustomed to calling a person who is much better than us and, as a rule, remains for us a pipe dream or an unattainable ideal, “Prince” or “Princess”.

Almost every little girl, going to bed and wrapped in a blanket, dreams of a handsome Prince, who will one day ride by on a white horse, fall in love with her and take her to his fairy-tale world, where they will live happily ever after. Almost every boy who has just started shaving, looking at himself in the mirror, dreams of a beautiful Princess who will be crazy about him and fall into his arms with a sigh: “Take me, I’m yours.”

Since our childhood, these dreams have not changed at all. But our ideas about Princes or Princesses grew with us, and each of us has our own ideas about the signs and attributes of “royal blood”. You may not mind if your Prince or Princess doesn't have a rich pedigree, but you expect him or her to be an infinitely kind, sensitive, or intelligent person. Or maybe you passionately desire to have an honest and sincere lover or a well-educated girlfriend. Maybe you dream of a man or woman who is wise, faithful, highly spiritual, or has some unique skills, being masters of their craft. Or maybe you want to be surrounded by a halo of fame. And, of course, for many of us, success in life is not the last thing on the list of requirements for a partner.

The list goes on, and it will be special for each of us. The only common feature will be the willingness to start looking for a new companion or companion - a person who will be much better than those “frogs” with whom you recently “croaked” together, sitting in the same pond.

Solution #1

I'll start looking for a worthy person

You've made your decision. Just as a spider must weave a web to catch a fly, so you will have to weave a web of skills, psychological attitudes and habits in order to catch your Prey - an excellent partner. It all starts with a deep belief—conscious and subconscious—that you deserve better.

Who are they - my Prince or Princess?

For over ten years I have been teaching seminars on the art of communication and interpersonal relationships. Every time seminar participants complain that they can’t find someone “better” to date, I ask them what “best” means to them. The vast majority of them report that they want to find a person who is “smarter,” “prettier,” “more interesting,” “with a higher position in society,” “wealthier,” or “more honest.” Hunters and Huntresses, when hunting a butterfly and a bear, you must use different gear. So it is in love: when pursuing the woman or man of your dreams, you must have completely different skills and qualities in order to catch the noble Prince, the beautiful Princess, the rich or noble Prince or the creative Princess in your net. It takes a special set of skills and specific qualities to hit the heart of each of them. I'm going to give you both.

Solution #2

I will use different tactics

for different partners

Spider nets woven for flies cannot catch a bear; the fly will always slip between the doors of the trap. You must use special traps and special bait to successfully hunt representatives of each type of purebred Prey. Some people are incredibly beautiful, others are rich, others are noble, others are talented, and each of them needs to be lured using various techniques.

A few words about terminology

Before we continue, I'll say a few words about terminology. Ladies, please don't get hysterical because I use the word "frog." Just as we used to politically correctly understand the word “partner” to mean both men and women, now we use the word “frog” to mean those whom you consider unsuitable partners for you, with whom you are dissatisfied, but with whom, nevertheless, continue to meet and maintain close relationships. “Frogs” are men and women of the “amphibian” class with whom you simply must part ways. A “frog” is a man or woman to whom you have become attached or who you are “used to” loving, but with whom (and now you know it) you need to break up in order to build a relationship with a more desirable or suitable person.