I’ve been putting off an important call at work for half an hour now. There are more urgent things to do all the time. But deep down, I know that the reason is different: I am terribly afraid to communicate with people, especially strangers, especially with bosses and officials. I just don’t know how to overcome my fear of people, I don’t know how to learn to communicate calmly with people.

I don’t remember exactly when I started experiencing fear of communication. Probably since she began to turn into an awkward teenager. In transport, it began to seem to me that everyone was looking only at me and seeing right through me. Under their gaze, I shrank all over, my head sunk into my shoulders, my breath caught in my throat. Just talking to people was a feat. How to learn if at this moment your head stops thinking and you become completely numb? I started avoiding public transport.

I did not participate in any school performances or holidays, although I really wanted to. My arms and legs went numb, the text of the role evaporated from my head. I stood, paralyzed, in front of a hundred eyes aimed at me and understood that this was the end, that from now on everyone would despise me and point their fingers: “There’s the one who swallowed her tongue!” Ha-ha-ha!”

Where did he come from - this fear of communicating with people?

Do you think I didn’t look for the reasons for this fear of people? I was still looking for it. I reviewed many courses on communicating with people on the Internet. It’s unbearable to live like this, in constant tension, denying yourself the joy of going out, going to a party, meeting a man. I'm afraid to communicate with men too. I am completely alone, “thanks” to my social anxiety.

I went to a healer. She laid her hands on me and I felt relieved. But the fear of people always returned. I read a lot of books on psychology and looked for reasons. I understood that in the past I had psychological trauma when people (they are animals!) offended me. But this did not answer the question of how to get rid of the fear of communicating with people. I still couldn't push myself out of the house.

How to overcome the fear of communication? Training on system-vector psychology

I had already given up on my life and firmly decided that I would face old age alone. But then… providence intervened in the person of my only close friend who was interested in psychology.

-Have you already heard about system-vector psychology Yuri Burlan? These are the newest and most advanced developments in the field of psychoanalysis. I listened to free lectures, there were more than 3,000 people there, and I was absolutely delighted! These are the best courses, you should definitely try to learn how to communicate, try it!

I grabbed a new opportunity:

Later you will learn that fear is the opposite of love. You will learn how you can change the nature of your emotions to positive, how you can learn to communicate interestingly with any person. And having discovered the potential of love in yourself, you will understand how bright, rich and full-blooded life can be. A life where there is simply no room for fear.

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There is an opinion that it is impossible to teach a person to communicate. Like, the ability to talk with people is some kind of genetically inherent ability: either it’s given or it’s not given. But in recent years, psychologists have been actively refuting this stereotype and boldly declaring: communication is exactly the same skill as dancing, singing or cooking. And just like in developing any skill, there are certain exercises to practice.

We are in website Today we have collected for you 8 unusual exercises that can make even the shyest introvert talkative. These are not just exercises to improve speech, but a whole range of activities that help you learn to think during a conversation and build an exciting dialogue.

1. Retelling

For what: You learn to think and speak at the same time. The connection between thinking and speech is strengthened.

How to do it: Open your favorite blog, find any article, select 2-3 paragraphs from it. Read them and retell them out loud to yourself. Then - the next few paragraphs, and so on until the end of the article.

Exercise duration: Depends on the length of the article. You need to retell 1 article per day.

2. Continuation of someone else's thought

For what: You learn to look for non-standard solutions and develop flexibility of thinking.

How to do it: Turn on the TV or any video on the Internet. Listen to the speaker for 30 seconds, then turn off the sound and develop his idea for 30 seconds.

Exercise duration: 5-10 minutes a day.

3. The mystery of Lewis Carroll

For what: Break your own stereotypes, habits of thinking in a certain way.

How to do it: The riddle that Carroll came up with is: “How is a raven like a table?” The exercise is built on its basis. It is advisable to do it together so as not to juggle more “convenient” items. One calls any word, the other calls any other word, and between them you insert a question: “How are they similar?” It turns out something like “How is a closet like a rabbit?” Sit and look for options.

Exercise duration: It's worth starting with 10 pairs.

4. Lecture to anyone about anything

For what: By retrieving non-applicable information from your memory, you train your memory. Make your thinking process more flexible.

How to do it: The exercise is performed together. You choose any object from those that surround you and tell your interlocutor about it. How did he appear? Why is it important on a human scale? What is it used for here in this room? With regular practice, you'll soon be able to give an hour-long lecture about an eraser, a chair, or a cabinet door.

Exercise duration: Start with 5 minutes.

5. Dialogue with the mirror

For what: You observe yourself from the outside, learn to speak coherently about your thoughts, and establish contact with yourself.

How to do it: The task is to look at yourself in the mirror, fish out any thought from your mind and develop it out loud. That is, you go to the mirror, start thinking and talking about what you think. Move smoothly from thought to thought, connecting them with each other. After some time, you will begin to have a coherent and sincere story about what is running through your head.

Exercise duration: 10 minutes a couple of times a week.

6. Talking with your mouth full

For what: Instant improvement of diction before a speech.

How to do it: There are different options here. You can put a regular spoon on your tongue or a handful of nuts behind your cheeks and try to pronounce the words as clearly as possible.

When it comes to communication training, you can sometimes encounter a somewhat skeptical attitude towards this topic. Some people believe that the gift of communication is present in every person by nature. Like, what can we learn there - we know how to talk, and that’s okay. And the fact that someone does it better, someone worse, it depends on the character of the person. This opinion is wrong. It is not only possible to learn communication, but also necessary. And in this matter the best assistant.

Here it is important to understand what exactly you expect from communication training, what you want to get as a result. For example, “,” which we can recommend to you, will help you become a truly good conversationalist, learn to establish contact, listen, understand and feel those with whom you communicate. During the training you will be able to learn simple, unique techniques that will allow you to transfer communication to high-quality new level and discover those facets of it that you did not yet know about. The Basic Training course opens strengths person, and provides effective tools for creating comfortable relationships with people and with oneself. And this is not a complete list of what you can get from communication training.

But first, let's figure out why you need to be able to communicate in general. To begin with, we all live in a society where we simply cannot do without communication - be it in everyday life or in business. And here the most important skill is the ability to express one’s thoughts competently, clearly and clearly. You can endlessly spout clever words and florid epithets, but if the meaning of what you say is unclear, then your eloquence is worthless. At the same time, you can be an absolute silent person from whom, as they say, the word cannot be pulled out with pincers. But, if those rare sayings that can be heard from you are truly reasonable, deep and appropriate, then taciturnity takes on completely different shades.

Communication training helps to find the “golden mean” between verbosity and isolation. Teaches you to speak when you need it, and not when you are pushed or forced to do so. Helps you understand why you are starting each specific conversation. During communication training, the most basic communication skills are practiced, such as: clear and consistent expression of your thoughts, the ability to select words taking into account the situation and the audience listening to you, the formation of a measured, even pace of speech, and many others. It turns out that a skill as simple and ordinary at first glance as the ability to speak needs to be practiced and trained. Learning to communicate alone may be possible, but it is extremely difficult. And why, if there are special communication trainings that are designed to help everyone involved in their personal development.

During communication training classes, you will practice specially designed exercises in a group that, if necessary, will give you competent feedback on the quality of these exercises. Along the way, you will be able to overcome shyness and embarrassment in communicating with strangers, which is quite important for a comfortable and relaxed conversation.

Communication training, as it were, accumulates in one place and at one time everything that you will achieve and learn for many years if you take on this matter alone and on your own. Thus, by going to communication training, you save energy, avoid common mistakes (the training undoubtedly took them into account long ago) and save the most valuable human resource - time.

Besides Everyday life the art of communication is of great importance in the professional sphere. Most professions are in one way or another connected with the need to not just be good, but almost perfectly master the art of communicating with people. These include managers, heads of various companies, salespeople, and administrative workers. And in this case, communication becomes an integral component of successful career growth and your development in the professional field. During communication training, you will learn to select the style, tone and manner of communication for a specific work situation, taking into account the position of your interlocutor and the goals you want to achieve. And, most importantly, you will be taught to enjoy the process of communication itself, despite the fact that, it would seem, you “just need it for work.”

Communication in personal life... Does anyone need an explanation? Do you want to be loved? Do you want to have many friends? You want good relations with relatives? Learn to communicate. Conflict-free, easy, friendly. Learn to convey your desires to your loved ones so that they not only understand them, but also do everything possible to fulfill them. Do you want to reach the highest degree of understanding each other? When without words, with half a glance, half a sigh? It is possible, but you just need to work hard for it. To begin with, at communication training.

There is an ageless phrase from one very good movie: “Happiness is when you are understood...” Everyone wants to be happy, but it happens that for this you just need to learn to communicate with the people around you so that they understand you. And communication training is designed to help you with this.