Hello, I have the same problem, fear of going crazy or harming loved ones.
It all started when I was suspected of breast cancer, they found atypical cells in a smear, and I was shaking for a month. Then I started having headaches and dizziness (after taking hormones), they said that I needed to do an MRI to rule out pituitary cancer from taking hormones and get tested. I wasn’t just shaking, I was hysterical, I turned to other specialists, took all the tests, there was nothing wrong with my pituitary gland, but they found angiodystonia. In general, hormonal therapy disrupted the functioning of blood vessels and nerves, but the neurologist said that stress had finished me off. In general, VSD was diagnosed due to hormonal imbalance + angiodystonia, which is treated with physiotherapy. I don’t have any panic attacks or PA, I didn’t wait for them))) But I’m so stressed from the 2-month shock that I still drink a calming herbal mixture and can’t believe what’s happening. But here’s another piece of garbage, I went on the Internet, read about these panic attacks, who is hurting what (one on the forum wrote that she had an obsessive thought of killing her daughter, another had an obsession with going out into the street, etc., etc. .p., and then on TSN they broadcast about an aunt whose voice whispered and she interrupted all her relatives at night, and I became scared, the world had gone crazy, people were really going crazy for no apparent reason. And I suddenly experienced such stress. And this will happen to me. Well, I’ve been walking around for a week and thinking, and God forbid, I’m already tired of how thoughts come, and you stand and think, there are no other problems in life, how to fall into this stupid state, stare. at people on the street and thinking all sorts of bullshit. My husband is already tired, I say, if something happens, don’t send me to hell, they didn’t make anyone healthy, and he laughs at me, and he says, if you think too much, this will happen to me. This phrase is even worse, as I said, don’t think, that’s how it gets into your head). They say accept your fears. Which? To go crazy or in a state of depression or passion to kill someone. How can this be accepted? I’ve already re-read a bunch of articles, went to church, got my confessor, I’m a believer, I pray to God. But the thoughts keep creeping in and out, and I keep trying and trying not to think or fight, or do something, or calm myself down, or pray. Well, how to live with this? I'm stuck somewhere, but I don't understand where. I’m waiting until I get tired of everything and somehow I’ll just throw it all away, or time will pass and I’ll forget. What do you advise? How to overcome these fears and not think about how many people are in prisons and psychiatric hospitals, you are not immune from this, who knows what your fate is? It's complete nonsense, but it exists and you have to survive it somehow, but how?
Answer
That is, you were diagnosed only with angiodystonia? And treated with physiotherapy and sedative herbs? You are describing symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. This is an anxiety disorder.
You are describing obsessions - obsessive thoughts. Such aggressive obsessive thoughts often focus on violence, murder (by shooting, strangulation, poisoning, using a knife) or on actions against property, for example through arson, robbery. People with obsessions often fear becoming murderers, or intentionally hurting those they love. Usually these thoughts are:
Fear of falling into an uncontrollable rage and killing someone.
Fear of grabbing a gun from a police officer (or anyone holding a gun) and shooting someone.
Fear of suffocating a child or spouse while sleeping.
Fear of pushing someone from a high place (balcony, building).
Fear of intentionally poisoning someone (for example, putting poison in a loved one's food).
Fear of throwing someone down the stairs (for example, a child).
Fear of walking behind someone and cutting their throat.
Fear of drowning a child while swimming or in the bath.
Fear of committing a bank robbery.
Fear of committing arson.
Fear of getting angry and starting to shake the child to death.
Fear of killing a cyclist while driving.
When driving in a car as a passenger, there is a fear of grabbing the steering wheel and causing an accident with your actions.
Fear of putting a child or pet in a microwave, oven, washing machine, clothes dryer (and turn it on).
Treatment for OCD consists of properly selected medications and psychotherapy. It is important for OCD sufferers to discuss these feelings openly. Additionally, many people with obsessive-compulsive disorder, especially those with thoughts of physical or sexual violence, are afraid of the consequences if they tell anyone (even a psychologist or doctor) what is going on in their head. While therapy encourages people with OCD to be honest and open, and talk about their thoughts and symptoms. It is also important to understand the nature of OCD and see how these thoughts can be influenced (cognitive behavioral therapy), and that this is not your personality, not your choice, these are distortions due to an anxiety disorder. This type of therapy focuses on a person's problems in the here and now, and helps them explore and understand alternative ways of thinking (cognitive approach) and learn to challenge their beliefs through behavioral exercises. Contact a psychologist or psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety disorders.

Are you plagued by the same thoughts? Do you think for a long time about whether to jump from a high bridge or are you afraid of harming someone close to you? Do you constantly wash your hands or straighten your hair? It seems that you suffer from obsessive-compulsive neurosis - a common, unpleasant, but, fortunately, reversible disease.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder: what is it?

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (also known as obsessive-compulsive disorder or OCD) is mental illness, the leading symptoms of which are obsessive thoughts and/or an irresistible desire to perform any stereotypical actions.

This neurosis is one of the most common mental illnesses and occurs in 2.3% of the population. In most patients, neurosis first manifests itself in adolescence or adolescence, however, children often also get it, including preschoolers. Only every tenth patient encounters the disorder for the first time after 40 years of age.

Up to 2.3% of adults and 1% of children suffer from obsessive-compulsive neurosis.

Approximately one third of patients experienced a traumatic event (eg death) before the onset of the disorder loved one) or were forced to adapt to new living conditions (for example, due to moving). In most patients, there is no connection between external events and the onset of the disease. Scientists are increasingly emphasizing the importance genetic predisposition to this disorder and associate it with a disruption in the transmission of neurotransmitters in the brain.

In a mild form, obsessive thoughts - in the form of counting, repeating lines of poetry or a melody “stuck in the head” - happen in every person’s life. Therefore, the boundary between normality and pathology is quite fluid, and, perhaps, at some point in the course of evolution, these reactions had an adaptive or protective nature.

Obsessive-compulsive neurosis: symptoms

Obsessive-compulsive neurosis consists of obsessions (obsessive thoughts, fears, desires or desires) and compulsions (obsessive actions).

More often, obsessions develop around the following topics: moral or religious norms, manifestations of aggression, sexuality, the desire for order, health and illness, maintaining cleanliness, completeness of action. The patient may agonize over whether his clothes are properly laid out or his books are standing, whether he has washed his hands properly to remove dangerous bacteria, whether the dishes have been dried well, and whether he has turned off the iron. In addition, he may suffer from an obsessive desire to swear, perform some indecent sexual act, and fear that he will harm loved ones. But whatever the content of the obsessions, they are usually perceived by the patient as something alien, imposed from the outside against their will. Patients are well aware of the absurdity or meaninglessness of their thoughts, but feel an irresistible need to do them again and again.

Obsessions are intrusive thoughts. Compulsions are obsessive actions.

This is important: the obsessive fear of harming others in people with obsessive-compulsive neurosis is never realized!

Compulsions, obsessive actions, arise from the content of obsessions. For example, a person who is not sure whether he has closed the front door will return and check again and again. Anyone who is afraid of attacking relatives with a knife will hide piercing and cutting objects; those who are afraid of germs will wash their hands several times an hour. Behind compulsive rituals are usually hidden obsessive doubts that the task has been done properly and to the end, as well as an inexplicable anxiety that something terrible might happen if he does not do everything “right.” Hence the bizarre ways of dressing (each piece of clothing only in a certain sequence) or storing things (for example, everything is in pairs and strictly symmetrical).

Obsessive-compulsive disorder and phobias

A phobia is a symptom that manifests itself in the form of a pronounced irrational fear attached to a particular object or situation. The most common are fears of closed or open crowded spaces, heights, insects, and dangerous diseases.

If the phobia is isolated and it is possible to safely avoid the source of your fear, a person can live a normal life without suffering from obsessive anxiety. In those cases when the object of fear is constantly present in everyday life (germs on handrails in the subway, the need to be in crowded places or use an elevator) or there are many phobias, the picture of the disease merges with obsessive-compulsive neurosis. The patient is overwhelmed by anxiety and is forced to develop complex rituals aimed at avoiding or protecting against dangerous situations.

Another type of obsessive fear is the fear of not being able to cope with a public speaking, exam or project at work. A person is so caught up in thoughts about possible failure that he loses the ability to switch gears and relax. And as a result, he either really copes with the task or not in the best possible way(which is no wonder given such high voltage), or refuses tests altogether, thereby impoverishing his life. By the way, the described option is one of the most common ways of psychogenic impotence: a one-time failure causes an obsessive fear of subsequent “failures.”

Obsessive-compulsive disorder and hypochondria

Another common group of obsessive fears is the fear of getting sick. Patients may be haunted by thoughts of HIV infection, cancer, or heart attack. Detailed examinations by doctors bring relief for a short time, but time passes and fear returns with renewed vigor.

Such fears often have a specific background. The fact is that people who are prone to health anxiety focus more than others on their bodily sensations and record even the smallest changes in the body. These changes are immediately interpreted as the beginning of an incurable illness and turn out to be a factor provoking the emergence of obsessions.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder in children

Alas, this also happens. An anxious, highly sensitive child may insist that his books and toys be in a certain order and refuse to go to sleep if this order is disturbed. The student can double-check many times whether the briefcase is assembled or completed correctly. homework. Other options include exhausting thoughts about health and imaginary illnesses, obsessive fears that something bad will happen to parents, and repetitive actions (thumb sucking, twirling strands of hair).

Among possible reasons neurosis - problems in the family, a serious somatic illness that depletes the nervous system, excessive attention from adults to issues of daily routine, hygiene or nutrition, an authoritarian or, conversely, permissive parenting style.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder: treatment

Mild manifestations of obsessions may not be treated. It is enough to take a reasonable position: admit that this happens to all people, and behave as if nothing had happened, without concentrating on repetitive thoughts. The less attention you pay to them, the faster they pass - this is a principle that always works!

This is important: the obsessive fear of harming others in people with obsessive-compulsive neurosis is never realized!

If obsessions take up time and energy, if the sick person is forced to change his schedule and even lifestyle, he should consult a specialist as quickly as possible. Please note: it is impossible to cure the disorder on your own! With this disease, remissions occur - that is, the symptoms may subside for a while, but, unfortunately, then they return. The disease is usually chronic and progresses in waves.

Treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder neurosis is a combination of drug therapy and psychotherapy. Studies show that if you limit yourself to taking medications, then when you stop taking them, a relapse occurs, while psychotherapy helps a person, if not completely get rid of unpleasant symptoms, then take control over them. To date, the most effective and rapid treatment for the disorder has been developed within the framework of cognitive behavioral psychotherapy. In terms of its effectiveness, it is not inferior to treatment with tablets, which is confirmed by scientific research.

Posted by zvezdnii
There are no other fears, only this remains, I don’t know what to do, the doc says not to pay attention to them (thoughts), this background will bother me for some time, I take blood pressure and a normative. quote]

What specific medications are you taking and in what dosage?

This forum has some materials on drug treatment for OCD, as well as non-drug treatment as well.
In addition, I offer a translation of an article by Fred Penzel, taken from the site http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/articles.html. It does not pretend to be literary, but I tried to convey the meaning as accurately as possible, as I understand it.

But I love my children.
Fred Penzel

If I were asked which obsessions cause the most suffering, I would answer that as a physician, I believe that these are contrasting, blasphemous, disgusting thoughts, and in this subcategory I would probably choose thoughts about harming my child. In fact, all forms of OCD are unpleasant and painful for the person who has it, so my choice is subjective, and perhaps due to the fact that I am a father myself.

All normal parents experience strong feelings caring for your offspring. When our children are very young, we worry about every aspect of their lives. When they grow up and become adults, we still continue to worry about their well-being and happiness. And is it surprising that if a mother or father has a sudden thought about hitting, or killing a beloved child, or having a violent relationship with him? sexual relations, this causes wild horror in all corners of her or his soul.

In my practice, there were patients who were part of this group who suffered from severe anxiety and were in the deepest depression that I had ever seen. I do not mean here those parents who have obsessions about harming their child due to their negligence or forgetfulness. I'm also not talking about those who obsess about harming other people's children. All these thoughts are also very difficult to bear. I'm talking here about those who are tormented by thoughts of stabbing, strangling, drowning, severely beating, or raping their own child. I would also include here those who think that they may have harmed the child, or committed some immoral acts towards him in the past.

I would ask all those “normal” people (i.e. with a normally biochemically functioning brain) who can read these lines now to imagine for a moment what it means when your own brain regularly broadcasts all these horrors for you, and you You can't change the channel. Imagine also that you are constantly asking yourself why these thoughts constantly appear in your brain, does it mean that somewhere deep down you really want to do this. One of the most frequently asked questions that patients ask me: “Why do I think about such things if I have never done anything like this and never want to do it?”
I will give some examples of typical obsessions. Of course, this list is far from complete.

Obsessions, mainly in relation to young children:
fear of drowning or strangling them,
shake them violently or hit them,
throw them out of a window, balcony, bridge, etc.
slaughter,
poison,
rape, or commit other depraved acts.

Obsessions, mainly in relation to older children or adolescents:
hit them with a knife or other sharp or heavy object,
poison,
caress them sexually
rape,
overlie

Within these groups of OCD specialists, three large categories can be distinguished:
Those whose obsessions take the form of painful doubts about the present or past
People who experience sudden urges to do something terrible
When both of the above forms are observed.

Representatives of the first category worry that the very presence of such thoughts means that they are crazy, or pose a real threat, since they can do what they are thinking about (or “Why else am I thinking about this?”). They ask themselves, “How can I know that I won’t harm my child?” The essence of OCD can be summarized in two words: pathological doubts. These doubts cannot simply be dismissed or eliminated with simple answers. The aggravating factor is that the OCD person mistakenly believes that the intrusive thoughts are his own real thoughts, and therefore are of real value and require real attention, and not some kind of mental junk generated by disturbances in the biochemistry of the brain. OCD sufferers typically respond to their obsessions by performing rituals. Rituals reduce anxiety caused by obsessive thoughts, but only for a short time. Almost every obsessive thought has its own ritual. Typical rituals in the cases in question include:

Avoiding being around your children, or at least being around them alone.
Constantly monitoring your children's reactions by being around them to make sure how they are feeling.
Attempts to refute obsessive thoughts and prove to myself that I will never do this.
Analyzing my thoughts, saying I’m not doing anything in accordance with them.

Another typical example of a representative of this category is an OCD person whose children are already grown, and he constantly asks himself if he did something immoral when he played with them, dressed them, or bathed them. Such patients analyze the past again and again, relive past scenes, trying to “remember” possibly forgotten details. Sometimes they ask their loved ones, directly or indirectly, to help them fill in the “gaps” in their memory.

Representatives of the second category experience what I call “impulses,” i.e. internal impulses to action, such as “Take a knife and hit him!”, or, for example, these:
- caress a child with sexual overtones,
- make characteristic sexual movements of the pelvis next to and in the direction of your child, for example, when he sits on his lap, touch the intimate parts of his body.
- push the child so that he falls and hits something.
- show your child the intimate parts of your body.

These are not just thoughts, but some kind of physical sensations that seem very real and almost (but not quite) truthful. The question always remains whether this type of symptom falls on the borderline between OCD and Tourette's syndrome. There is no complete clarity here yet.

Quite often there are OCD of this type, which developed in young mothers after the birth of a child. Such OCD can lead to the so-called. postpartum depression. It happens that mild OCD worsens after the arrival of a newborn in the family. I have had a number of patients, both with and without a history of OCD, who, through a short time After the birth of the child, obsessions developed regarding the possibility of violent actions towards her baby. One time, a patient of mine, a young mother, shared her concerns with a nurse-midwife, after which the hospital administration forbade her from seeing her child for fear that she might actually do something like that. I had to turn to my colleagues from the psychiatric department of this hospital, and then together to the administration, to convince her that this young woman suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder and is completely incapable of any violent actions towards her child.

Another potential complication occurs when the person suffering from violent thoughts experiences feelings of anger, and when he feels that he is about to lose control of himself and his thoughts will escalate into actions. All people lose their temper from time to time when interacting with their children. We are not all saints, and this is quite normal, unless you then continue to be tormented for a long time by whether you really had a desire to kill your child. In this case, normal parental anger can quickly turn into fear. Parents with this type of OCD struggle to control their emotions. This leads to constant fear of emotions and hypercontrol over oneself when around children.

After considering these insidious forms of OCD, the question naturally arises, what to do about it all? I think that to overcome OCD you just need to understand a few things. Firstly, OCD is a chronic disorder, which means that today there are no known methods of completely curing it. But you can take control of it and live a normal, fulfilling life. Secondly, when it comes to managing OCD, I think the most important thing to understand is this: “The problem is not the anxiety, the problem is the rituals.” If you believe that your main problem is anxiety, you will resort to rituals as a means of reducing it. This is completely wrong, since rituals reinforce the state of affairs and give a person the impression that his obsessive thoughts have some meaning and require some kind of action. It is also important to understand and accept that you cannot block your thoughts, argue with them, or reason with logic. You need to understand that if you are trying to escape from your obsessive thoughts you will lose this fight. It is generally impossible to win. If you understand this, you are ready to begin the daily, systematic battle to overcome your OCD.
(to be continued)

A year ago I read an article on the Internet about animal abuse. I was worried, I cried constantly, I couldn’t calmly look at the dogs on the street - I was scared that someone would hurt them. When I scrolled through the news feed, my eyes were drawn to stories about suicide, violence, and bullying. After some time, I stopped worrying about the animals, but the fear did not disappear completely, but began to manifest itself in an unusual form. I was afraid of losing control of myself, of harming someone around me. Then I cut myself badly and began to be afraid of sharp objects. I became afraid that I might harm my husband: when I go into the kitchen with him, I start to panic. I am sure that fear has nothing to do with a real desire to harm someone; rather, it is a transformation of other fears. During the period when these strange states appeared, I felt very insecure in communicating with my husband’s parents, and we fought a lot then. I don’t know how to get rid of obsessive thoughts that don’t seem to belong to me.

Christina, 30 years old

Christina, you write that you used to often pay attention to stories about violence, suicide, bullying, and were very worried about those who suffered: both animals and people. In our culture, there is a ban on aggression, but we still experience it, not always knowing how to deal with it correctly.

Perhaps your fears appeared during a period when you stopped feeling like the author of your own life. At such moments, aggression often manifests itself in an interest in the destructive actions of others.

Indignation, indignation, anger are very strong feelings. They cannot be dealt with simply by drowning them out. First, it is important to learn to monitor the situations that cause them, and then try to influence what does not suit you, to defend your own interests. Otherwise, the symptoms may take on a more dangerous form.

You write that it was a difficult period in your relationship with your husband and his parents. It's like you stopped being yourself, you tried to produce good impression on others. Now it is important for you to get to know the aggressive part of yourself better. Since you are describing obsessive-compulsive disorder, I recommend seeing a psychologist or even a psychiatrist: you may need minor medication treatment. Don't wait until the symptom becomes more severe.

Ask a question to an expert online

Anna, Perm

Hello! I have a problem psychological nature, and I don't know how to solve it.
Let me start from the beginning: for about 7 years I have been periodically bothered by anxiety or fears-paranoia, for example: did I forget to close the door, what if someone breaks into the house or for no reason at all (this began to appear after my passion for detective stories), but Unreasonable fear is rare, so I cope.
Now the problem has grown. Recently, after watching a program about paranormal phenomena (on the same day) in the evening, I began to have a wild fear that I could hurt or kill myself or my loved ones, I began to feel dizzy and have some kind of obsession. I don’t want to cause any harm to my loved ones and I myself want to live happily ever after, but the fear that I will lose control of myself is present. I constantly ask myself the question: what will happen if I can step over this “line”? And cause harm to yourself or loved ones. Now I’m writing these words and the blood rushes to my head, my head is spinning. I’m getting scared that I’ll go now, take a knife and... “check” what will happen... My mind says that I don’t want this under any circumstances. It’s as if demons were standing behind me and pushing me... When the first time such thoughts began to overcome me, I was afraid to approach knives for a week, I was scared to look, because it seemed like I was about to take it and “test” whether I was capable... It scares me wildly, I I don’t know how to cope with such thoughts, how to get them out of my head??? So that God forbid you harm your loved ones?
There is another problem in recent days, I don’t know how to describe it... a wild regret that you can’t rewind your life 10 years ago.
3 years ago my grandmother died, in her last days we had a bad relationship, I feel guilty for being treated so badly before her death and not being more tolerant. Sometimes I even wished her death, out of emotion. I dreamed several times that I was asking her for forgiveness, but in reality I am still tormented by guilt for my bad attitude.
Over the last week, I’ve been remembering how well we used to live and the realization that nothing can be returned and that I’ll never see my grandmother in this life “kills me.” Against this background, I have a wild fear that mom or dad might “leave.” I don't think I'll survive this. In general, it seems to me that I will soon go crazy from all these bad thoughts.
During the day I work, and all my thoughts take over in the evening, in the morning everything is fine and calm, and in the evening the “thought” process begins and my chest feels tight, my head is spinning, my hands are shaking, at least tie yourself down so as not to do something... get distracted by a hobby, the job doesn't help. In the evening I avoid all piercing and cutting objects. How can I cope with this condition? How to get these “terrible” new developments out of your head? I don’t really understand why they appeared; in my entire life I have never shown aggression towards anyone, not only towards people, but even towards animals. Why, where all these thoughts come from, I don’t understand...
I am 25 years old. I went to a neurologist with dizziness and was diagnosed with VDS, cerebrasthenic syndrome. I always feel dizzy when I experience all of the above. Even now it encircles and squeezes my head. Maybe this is related..