Hello, dear readers! It’s so unpleasant when a guy wants to break up, but he’s fooling you. The girl finds an excuse for his terrible behavior, forgives some of his actions, but he is already somewhere far away. All his thoughts are consumed by the desire to break off the relationship, but he does not find the determination, or perhaps even confirmation, of his own choice. As a result, all this drags on endlessly and drains all your strength.

Today I will tell you how to understand that a man wants to break up with a girl. This is a very common problem. Not everyone is ready for a serious conversation and therefore pushes the woman to leave him herself. In this article I will try to collect all the most common signs that you find yourself in this unpleasant situation and tell you what exactly you need to do now.

Let's start with the most obvious ones, since most often, the guy doesn't hide his true attitude very much. His decision is almost made, but he cannot start a frank conversation.

Minor quibbles

In fact, I think that you are already doing great, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself and therefore are looking for additional confirmation, in the hope that you were mistaken and this is just an unpleasant period that you should just get through.

It all starts, as a rule, with nit-picking. You increasingly dissatisfy the guy, and he openly expresses his dissatisfaction. The reason for a scandal at this moment can be anything - a call made at the wrong time, being late for a meeting, an accidentally thrown phrase. Old grievances and problems that you thought had long ago lost their relevance are increasingly coming to the surface.

After a quarrel, he takes a long time to “recover”, is less willing to make contact, takes longer than usual, humiliated, insulted and inaccessible.

“Accidentally” left evidence

The breakup of a relationship always occurs suddenly. At this moment, people seem to open their eyes to what is happening, although in fact they began to notice something wrong a long time ago. For a long time the young man plays “What am I? I’m okay,” and the girl pretends like nothing is happening.

A man always leaves evidence that indicates a desire to separate. Subconsciously, he wants the deception to be exposed.

In each situation, the evidence may be different, if the main reason for the breakup is another girl, then it could be sudden messages, lipstick marks on a shirt. Most likely it started much earlier. Previously, he carefully tried to get rid of traces of the “crime,” but now he leaves them without a twinge of conscience.

Idiot excuses

If a man wants to break up with you, you come across some evidence of this and ask what the reason is. Most likely the excuses will be the worst. The young man no longer uses up too much of his brain power to...

For example, you find a foreign hair on his shirt, ask how it got there, and he just opens his eyes wide and innocently declares: “It probably fell from the head of the colleague with whom I was riding in the elevator.”

In general, all his excuses become more than strange, and his proposals infuriate him. It's as if you are communicating with a completely different person. Previously, he was a smart strategist, whose every idea inspired and surprised, but now he has become a village fool who does not understand what is good and what is not so good.

Additional signs

I would advise you to pay special attention only to those signs that I have already described above. They are the most significant. You can find more, but I wouldn’t take them seriously and panic. Anything happens in life and it is too early to draw any conclusions based on them. There can be many reasons for this behavior, not necessarily a desire to break up.

However, I will provide some evidence that all is not well in the couple's love life so that you have the full picture.

The man has become more thoughtful and spends more time alone with himself.

If you have been together for many years and used to always walk holding hands, or sit in front of the TV hugging, then now he does not seek physical contact, but stays away.

He stops you or tries to remain silent when you start planning a joint summer vacation or make other plans for the future.

By the way, pay attention to the behavior of his friends when you open these topics. They probably know everything very well. Not everyone can control their emotions: some will lower their eyes in embarrassment, others will frantically start talking about something else. In general, you may notice awkwardness.

Another indicator is that you increasingly have to offer to spend time together: meet with friends, invite someone to visit, organize dinner for relatives. He himself does not show interest or initiative in this. He looks more like a guest at your party.

How to proceed

If you feel that a young man wants to break up with you forever, but you yourself are afraid to start this conversation, then you can try to reach out through his friends, of course, if among them there are those who really know the truth and will reveal it. Unfortunately, or fortunately male friendship most often it is so strong, but you will not achieve anything this way. Nevertheless, I had to say about it, because sometimes this method works.

Of course, the most the right way dot all the i’s and talk frankly with the young man himself. If you want to achieve the truth, then prepare yourself mentally in advance. It is very important.

Sorry, but yours young man You can't call him brave. We've already figured this out. You will have to take on this quality, otherwise the situation will not be resolved, and you will remain so.

Never show your own weakness. Tears, reproaches, pleas and other similar things will give him the opportunity to justify his behavior and leave everything as it is for an indefinite time. Be strong.

Tell the man directly that you have begun to notice signs in him that he wants to break up. Show that you are ready for this and if this is his desire, then you are ready to discuss everything.

Perhaps you don't want to break up. You don't have to agree, but you need to talk about this issue. Things can't go on like this. Approach the issue decisively and try to speak reasonedly, without trying to use feminine tricks, tricks and unnecessary emotions. There is no need to play on his feelings and... May this conversation be productive for both of you. Honesty is what matters now.

I can advise you Irina Chesnova’s book “Secrets of pleasure and happiness in life together.” You don’t need to be afraid of loneliness, you need to be afraid to live your whole life with a person who doesn’t want it, but is afraid to be frank with you.

That's all for me. See you again and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.

He calls you less and less

Previously, the man called you regularly, but now calls from him have become rare. He is justified by being busy and having problems at work, illness of one of his relatives, etc. But, most likely, the initial love euphoria has simply passed, and the man is not sure whether he wants to continue the relationship. However, if he is still making himself known, then it is still important for him that you wait for his calls. In this situation, you also need to become very busy. Perhaps your independence will encourage the man to continue the relationship. What you definitely shouldn’t do is constantly call him and ask where he disappeared to.

He practically stopped having sex with you

Over time, for many couples, the intensity of sexual activity decreases. However, if you've stopped having sex altogether, it's highly likely that your man is cheating on you. Of course, the reason for stagnation in a relationship can also be simple fatigue or stressful work. Try waiting for a while. If the absence is due to problems not related to you, life will get better on its own. In the worst case scenario, a man doesn't have sex with you because he's bored in bed. Try to correct the situation by offering a new erotic game or an unusual sexual position. Just don’t even think about accusing a man of sexual incompetence. After such a statement, it will be very difficult to establish relationships.

He spends little time with you

At some point, you may hear from your loved one that he needs more freedom. This may be the first step towards breaking up, but sometimes a man really needs more personal space. The best thing you can do is to give him as much freedom as you can without being detrimental to yourself. As relationships deepen, most men cease to need such independence. You can, of course, tell a man that he will not receive any freedom. But in this case, he will most likely go on a “free swim.”

You started to annoy him

For some reason, all of yours, which a man used to like, now irritate him terribly. Perhaps he is tired of you, so he behaves aggressively, hoping that you yourself will offer. If you want to save the relationship and have sufficient self-confidence, you may not respond to criticism. But this will most likely be useless. It's better to just break up. By the way, under no circumstances try to correct anything in yourself and apologize for non-existent offenses. This certainly won’t help keep a man.

He doesn't want to talk about the future

Your loved one does not want to discuss their future together. And this doesn’t necessarily mean having children, but simple things like going on vacation together or even making plans for the weekend. When there is no place for you in a man's immediate future, it means that he does not consider your relationship serious. Persuasion and demands to give your relationship “status” will lead nowhere. It is better to repay the man in kind, that is, attend several events on your own. If you are dear to him, a man will change his behavior. In case of indifference on his part, he will continue to live his life, but without him.

Men, as a rule, are in no hurry to break off a romantic relationship with a woman. They prefer to wait and shift the burden of decision onto their partner, so that they feel the blame. Men don’t want to “do the dirty work” and have an unpleasant conversation about a breakup. The fact that the relationship has gone wrong is indicated by constant disputes and showdowns. But there is a reason not to turn the needle from “love” to “hate” and decide on divorce much earlier.

Many couples hesitate to do this for a long time, preferring to give the initiative to their partner. However, women are much more decisive in this matter than men. How can you understand that the relationship has become a burden for your significant other and he is thinking about leaving you?

1. Interest in you has disappeared

If before you did not experience difficulty in finding a topic for conversation, now silence dominates communication. If he doesn't care who you went out with, a girlfriend or another man, this is a red flag.

2. You turned into an invisible man

The partner has lost the desire to engage in dialogue and find compromises. He doesn't react to your presence, even if you "accidentally" bump into him while leaving the bath naked.

3. Lack of sexual desire

If a man stops wanting you, this is a signal that the situation is actually very serious.

4. Stopped saying nice words, compliments, and apologizing.

Your relationship becomes formal, as if “on a schedule,” and you begin to alienate yourself from each other.

5. Starts to explode for any reason.

What used to make him smile begins to cause causeless rage. For example, a blouse you purchased in a store that “makes you look old and stupid, and, in general, expensive.”

6. Parallel relationships

Even if he does not have a love affair with another woman, you begin to notice that they have appeared in his life. Long or short telephone conversations, suspicious text messages, excuses about delays at work, all this gives you every reason to break up with him.

7.Reduces alone time

He returns home later and later. Sometimes it’s so late that you’re already asleep. And it goes away while you are still sleeping.

8. Prefers to spend weekends with friends

Yours are over romantic dinners. On weekends, he goes to the bathhouse with friends, or goes fishing with them, or invites them to your house to drink beer.

9. Tries to be unpleasant

He knows perfectly well what you don’t like about him, be it character traits or habits. Therefore, he begins to stick them out in order to make your coexistence unacceptable and push you to make a difficult decision.

10. Becomes a truth-teller

A loving man “does not notice” his partner’s physical shortcomings, even if she herself tries to convince him of something. So, try asking, “Honey, how do I look today?” And think about it if you hear a frank answer.

In the case when a man is persistently looking and is really determined to do just that, it is extremely difficult to help change everything, but still there is a solution and you should not forget about it. It is recommended to write about your problems in the comments to receive practical advice.

What to do if a guy wants to break up, but you don’t, he says he’s tired of everything, how to hold on, save the relationship

Agree with him, break up on time. Don't be humiliated. Take care of yourself, find a hobby. Don't look for meetings with him, get out of his life. Perhaps after a while he will realize that he was mistaken and will want to get you back. This is where you think about whether you need it.

The guy wants to break up because I don’t work, I’m messing with his phone, what should I tell him?

On the one hand, a man must be a breadwinner and support his family.

On the other hand, when a girl has a lot of demands, but no desire to earn money, it is difficult for a man to live up to her, and generally make ends meet.

In this case, he is certainly right, you must help him somehow, and any work is self-development.

Another situation is when he makes great money, but it infuriates him that you are sitting at home “doing nothing.”

Here you need to think about whether you need such a person, today he doesn’t like that you don’t work, tomorrow he will come up with something else.

By controlling his phone, you are trespassing on personal space. He may have nothing to hide, but he is very offended by the very fact that you allow yourself to do this. Promise not to do this again, you can look at the messages in the quiet room.

A man’s behavior if he wants to break up and live without you, how he behaves

As soon as a man stops loving, he begins to look for shortcomings and even come up with new ones, which in principle do not exist.

The reproaches are becoming stronger every day. During quarrels, he will try to hurt, to offend as much as possible.

The guy doesn’t want to leave as friends, what should he do?

Friendship can begin after a while.

During a breakup, not everyone can let a person go, remaining in good relations. Let time pass for him to calm down and let go. Then maybe it will be possible to remain friends.

I am very jealous, and also selfish and possessive, how to deal with this, advice from a psychologist

Learn to put yourself in the place of someone who is jealous and selfish. Respect the feelings of the other. We are all jealous, but there must be a middle ground. Selfishness and possessiveness can lead to the end of a relationship. It is best to work on yourself, fantasize less, so as not to be jealous.