From childhood, my parents taught my sister and me that I, as the eldest, should be responsible for the youngest, help her, give in in everything, give her the best. Now that we are already adults, my sister believes that everyone owes her: help in everything she wants, and do what she wants. She doesn't care about me or my parents. I help her as best I can, but she always responds to kindness with some kind of meanness. It's the same with mom. After a quarrel, he communicates as if nothing had happened. Of course, I am offended and a “residue” remains after her meanness. I can’t help but forgive her, because she’s my sister. How can I explain that this is not possible? After all, she is already an adult and if she continues to behave this way, she will be left alone.

Alina, 25 years old

How to explain to a person something that he has never encountered? Namely, that the responsibility for his life lies only with him and no one is obliged to share this responsibility with him? For example, someone cannot read and has never tried. And you want to tell him about books, about what is written in them, that it is very interesting activity- read. Do you think he will understand you?

As long as you and your mother indulge your sister's whims, she will not learn to treat you differently. Her consumer attitude has been formed throughout her life and is very convenient for her. And you want her to change it and take responsibility for herself. Teenagers usually behave this way when they are not sufficiently aware of what and how they need to do.

Unfortunately, you did not indicate your sister's age. Maybe he's still close to adolescence and she just hasn't grown out of it. Often younger children are more childish and do not want to grow up. Why do this if, even though everyone argues, they comply with the requirements? And until the moment you satisfy her desires, you won’t have to do this.

In life there are such “overgrown children”. Yes, this process is not quick and painful for you. After all, certain rules have already been formed and accepted in the family. Changing them will require the participation of all family members. The new rules must be accepted by everyone and must also be followed by everyone.

If you start doing this alone, then, I'm afraid, you will simply become the evil sisters, with a complete lack of results. Talk to mom. Try to convince her that the changes are primarily aimed at improving your relationships and your family climate. Because for her mother she still remains a little girl who needs to be helped.

For parents, we remain children at any age. But every child grows up someday, and it’s likely that the time has come for your sister to do the same.

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A wedding is a very joyful and cheerful event in the life of every person. Young girls are looking forward to having this magnificent and unforgettable celebration for a lifetime! According to ancient superstitions, sisters in a family should marry “in order,” which is determined by their age, starting with the eldest.

But life often has other plans and it happens that the younger sister has already found a fiancé, and, in principle, she’s already approaching her age, but the older sister still can’t find a boyfriend! Well, now why shouldn’t the younger one get married at all, should she wait or still get married and reproach herself all her life for the fact that her older sister’s family life will never work out now, because that’s what the sign interprets!

Knowing this, in many nations it is forbidden to give away younger sisters until the older ones are sorted out. Otherwise, this “dowryless” woman will forever remain in her parents’ house, carrying a terrible life burden and disgracing her family.

How to deceive a sign?

According to the superstition, if elder sister If she didn’t get married before the youngest, she’ll never get married again. Moreover, the youngest will take everything with her woman's happiness from home, and whoever remains unmarried will be unhappy all his life. Of course, the interpretation of the sign is terrible, but it turns out that if you know some tricks, you can “deceive” her - it is enough for the elder sister to perform only some simple rituals!

To prevent the omen from coming true, you need to dance a couple of dances on bare feet. It's okay if someone looks at you with judgment. In the end, you can explain everything to the guests in a humorous manner or arrange it so that it is a toastmaster competition - barefoot dancing! It would be nice if your future spouse danced with you. To prevent the dance from looking ridiculous, throw a sheepskin under your feet. In addition, it is the elder sister who should buy shoes for the future wife for her wedding.

According to the parables, if no one asked the older sister to marry, it means that she has long been damaged and will need to return her former attractiveness and disposition to family life possible only after barefoot dancing. It is this ritual, especially at a wedding celebration, that will allow, first of all, to remove and send negative energy from a girl or an already mature woman to the ground. By the way, any person who for some reason no one takes as a wife can remove such black magic from herself!

Of course, no one is tempted to remain an old maid, so girls and their parents need to be especially attentive to the traditions of our people and try not to break them!

Anyone who is lucky enough to have a younger sister and who refuses to accept, acknowledge or believe in such luck should know that having a sister makes him a better person.

According to the Huffington Post, Little Sisters teach you compassion, empathy, and make you hone your communication skills and self-understanding.

Dr Jensen says: "We found that younger sisters play a role in strengthening mental health older brothers or sisters and often do a lot to ensure that relatives communicate with each other after their parents pass away.”

Having a younger sister helps an older brother or sister avoid feelings of loneliness, fear, or danger.

A study from Brigham Young University suggests that sisters make you more compassionate, kind and supportive.

Laura Padilla-Walker, a professor at BYU's School of Family Life, says, "When siblings compete, they learn to regulate their emotions. This is an important skill to have in life.

Sisters also help you develop your human qualities and communication skills. Studies have shown that brothers who grew up with sisters have an easier time communicating with women than those who were an only child or had only brothers."

Finally, sisters also teach you to be independent, ambitious, and to achieve balance in life. If you are going to ask me why or how sisters are able to teach all these things but brothers are not, then here is the answer. It's all about "emotional expression."

Emotional support reduces stress

One of the benefits of growing up with a sister is that it can reduce your stress levels. Because girls are more in touch with their emotions and tend to share them easily, this means you'll have someone empathetic by your side when you're feeling stressed and need someone who understands. Having a sister in the family can help maintain emotional balance.

According to research conducted by the University of Ulster, sisters see life and circumstances more positively than other family members, so having this healthy outlook on life situations can help keep your stress at bay. Since stress often has Negative influence on brain function, growing up with less stress makes you a better person in many ways.

Improved self-esteem

Another benefit of growing up with a sister is improved self-esteem. Having a sister by your side can prevent or suppress negative feelings and emotions that lead to low self-esteem. Studies have shown that people who have a sister suffer less from anxiety, depression, loneliness and fear, and children also feel more loved.

Every child experiences negative emotions at some point - that's life. But for his mental, physical and emotional development it is important that he does not suffer from these emotions.

Growing up with a sister can help you deal with negative emotions in healthy ways, and have a happy childhood that leads to a better adult life.

Anger management and compassion

Improved conflict resolution skills are another benefit of growing up with a sister. Remember when we mentioned sibling rivalry? Everything that you have to fight and argue with is really useful for the development of the child. This teaches him skills such as anger management, compassion, reasoning, self-control, fairness and much more. All of these skills result in the child becoming a healthier adult who is in tune with their inner feelings.

Your sister is the person you care about the most. Even when you hate her in some situations. She behaves badly, but she keeps you under control. You've been with her since her first day and she has completely changed your life.

She is your honest partner in every crime. She is a shoulder to cry on when you need love and support. She is your best friend, although you didn't expect her to love you so much.

Yes, this is your little sister. There are thousands of reasons why this person's arrival is the best thing that ever happened to you.

She makes you better. She is your little sister and you want her to grow up to be the best and most honest person. This means that you must be such as to serve as an example for her. It gives you motivation to be better.

You are her first friend and that bond is hard to break. From the first day your sister was born, she turned to you. You were her first best friend before she met anyone else. This makes your bond strong and unbreakable.

It makes you more mature. You feel a little motherly around your little sister. Your instinct tells you to always be her protector. It will make you more mature.

Because of her, you will always be young. Even if you want to be a mature example for your little sister, she will always remind you to have fun and relax. She has better style than you did when you were her age, so you can learn something from her.

Your best friends know her as well as you do, so they love her too. You were her first best friend. However, your girlfriend also began to adore her, at the same time as you. You know you have an amazing little sister and your friends don't leave home without hugging her goodbye.

She supports you no matter what you do. This doesn't mean that she will always agree with your opinion, but she will always trust that you will make the right decision.

She will always help you. She may be less experienced than you, but sometimes she can be your guide. She hasn't made as many mistakes as you have, which may mean she's not afraid to take risks. She will encourage you to make decisions that you are avoiding.

Distance will not become an obstacle on your way. You may move far away and won't talk to your sister as often as before. However, you can always pick up your relationship where it left off. There is nothing between you.

Thanks to her, you will become an excellent adviser and take care of others. Your little sister will always come to you for advice, and your advice will get better and better. This experience will teach you to do the same for other people.

You will always feel needed. Every person wants to feel needed and wants to improve the quality of someone else's life. As the years pass, you will realize that you will always need your sister, and this will be your greatest reward.

You will always have it, although your life is constantly changing. People come and go from your life, relationships begin and end, and everything disappears. However, your sister will always be a part of your life.

From the day she arrived, your little sister has changed your life drastically. Maybe you were an only child before her, and maybe she stole all of your parents' attention for a while, but you will forgive her. You will realize that your life became better the moment you met her. She will become your best friend and your biggest blessing.

Translation by Marina Bobysheva especially for mamsila

Vika Di

Popular beliefs and superstitions exist for almost every occasion in life. And if some of them predict the weather, sometimes even successfully, they warn against mistakes in everyday life and give advice on how best to behave in Everyday life, then some invade the area of ​​personal and family happiness.

So, for example, pricking your finger with a needle during New Year's Eve means a quick marriage, and receiving a cactus as a gift means a successful marriage soon.

Such signs apply to the marriage of sisters. It is believed that a younger sister should not marry before an older one, and the same is true for younger and older brothers. Also, superstitions do not say to have two weddings in one year, one after the other.

Why can’t you get married before your older sister according to the superstition?

As popular belief goes, if the younger sister got married before the older one, then the second one will never get married and she will have to babysit her nephews for the rest of her life. Moreover, it was believed that the girl would remain unhappy all her life.

This sign was associated with the fact that the youngest, getting married before her sister, took away all the woman’s happiness from the family

However, despite the signs, practice from life shows that in order to get married successfully, it is not necessary to do it first if the girl is the eldest child in the family, or to wait until the sister finds her happiness.

Many girls marry ahead of their sisters, which does not affect the latter’s happiness in any way, unless the younger one takes the groom away from the older one’s wedding.

However, if a girl still relies heavily on superstitions or is very afraid of remaining an old maid, then there is a way to get around the sign.

You need to dance barefoot at your sister's wedding. Then all negative energy that prevents you from getting married will go into the ground. By the way, this ritual can be repeated by other unmarried female relatives, thus attracting “female happiness” to themselves.

Since your legs will be exposed during the dance, a silver ankle bracelet with cubic zirconia will come in handy.

Also, so that the eldest would not be at risk of loneliness, according to signs it was believed that:

The youngest should give her sister her shoes or other wedding accessory, or the parents buy the older one new shoes.

The bride needs to give a relative a gift for good luck; it was usually customary to give a gold or silver ring.

The newlywed should ask the elder for forgiveness for getting married before her and ask permission to marry.

According to these signs, if they are fulfilled, the fate of the old maid will bypass the girl.

Younger sister gets married earlier

What do signs say if younger brother gets married before the older one?

According to the signs, if the younger brother married before the elder, then the latter would either spend his entire life unmarried, or, according to another version of the sign, only daughters would be born to him.

Popular beliefs associated with marriage based on seniority have a completely logical basis

Previously, when marriages were concluded solely by parental will, and it happened that children were betrothed in infancy, the wedding was celebrated quite naturally according to seniority, when the child reached marriageable age.

Elders did not marry only because of physical or mental illnesses that prevented the wedding. Therefore, if the younger ones got married or got married before the older ones, then those around them made the only possible conclusion, which negatively affected the reputation of the family and the happiness of the young people. In this case, it was much more difficult for the eldest child, even without any disabilities, to enter into a marriage against general prejudice.

From that time on, the popular belief began that one should not be the eldest in a marriage if the younger ones got married before them.

This sign also related to the fact that if both brothers or sisters are engaged at the same time, and a wedding is being prepared, then it is quite logical that the eldest of the betrothed should celebrate the wedding before the younger, since seniority obliges him to be first.

March 8, 2018 at 9:45 PST

But if the younger brother wants to marry before his unmarried sister, then the signs say that such a marriage is possible, since it is the man who continues the clan and surname of his family, so he needs to leave an heir. But according to another belief, it is better not to do this, so as not to offend a lonely sister with your happiness.

However, these are just popular superstitions associated with the order of things, which changed a long time ago. Therefore, now nothing prevents people from getting married when and in the order that the young people themselves want and not to listen to any superstitions.

Is it possible for sisters to get married in the same year?

According to popular superstitions, two sisters cannot marry at once in the same year. Why you can’t get married in the same year: it is believed that the marriage of one of the couples will be unhappy, childless, and end in divorce. In addition, if it is the younger sister who gets married first, then the omen promises misfortune for the older one, since the younger one has crossed the path to her sister’s happiness.

This belief is due to the fact that it used to be too expensive in villages to marry two daughters in one year.

After all, everyone needs a dowry. In addition, if the girls were not of the same age, then the rule of seniority was triggered - it was considered a bad sign to marry the younger one before the sister.

According to the church charter for religious canons There are no restrictions on the order in which to get married, as well as on whether to have two weddings in one family.

The younger sister is preparing for the wedding

Although popular superstitions often have a logical basis, in today’s world they are all hopelessly outdated and are nothing more than stupid beliefs of village grandmothers who have little to do with modern life.

When and who to marry should be the decision of only the young themselves, and one should not rely on signs, beliefs or superstitions. The happiness of the newlyweds is in their hands, and no signs will save you from divorce if the spouses do not make efforts to live in love and fidelity. Also vice versa: a marriage can be happy and last for many years, despite superstitions.

April 30, 2018, 00:07

Very often, when two daughters grow up in one family, conflicts occur. This is due, first of all, to the fact that the younger sister always receives more attention and care, while the older one sometimes feels lonely and useless. If a similar situation occurs in your family, do not worry, it is normal. Generation conflict has existed at all times. The main thing is not to lead him to real hostility and in time to explain to the girls that they are the closest and that they are both loved. Distribute your love in such a way that both the older and the younger sister feel equally important.

Despite the fact that with the advent of the youngest daughter, all the love of the parents literally “falls” on her, the eldest should feel, as before, desired and loved. Moreover, she must immediately be dedicated to the duties of a protector and patroness for her younger sister. Whatever the age difference, the older child must understand that he bears no less responsibility to his younger sister than his parents. As a rule, while the parents are at work, the older girl takes care of her younger sister and plays the role of a second mother for her. It is the elder sister who can become best friend life and a mentor for her little sister. Your daughters can fight in childhood, but as they grow older, they will learn to love and respect each other. And it is the mother who must do everything possible so that the sisters become friends for life.

As a rule, in families where there are two daughters, the ground for intrigue and gossip arises. The younger sister, who at first tried to be like her older sister in everything, can suddenly become a fierce opponent of her actions and life principles. There may be periods in life when the younger sister will completely close herself off and turn away from the older girl. Unfortunately, only time and the right tactics of the mother can help here.

No matter how strong the love for your youngest daughter is, you need to constantly set your second daughter as an example. The younger sister must understand that close relatives are not chosen, and that blood kinship is more valuable than all earthly riches. Try to convey to the girl in a gentle manner that her older sister is her only friend for life, who will not betray, will not deceive, and will always support her in difficult times. The main thing is to prevent a situation where siblings hate each other and, God forbid, begin to share the family’s material well-being.

When daughters are raised in the spirit of mutual respect, mutual support, sincerity, humanity, decency and internal culture, a situation will never arise in which the younger sister takes away the older sister’s husband or begins to divide property. Therefore, if you don’t want girls to plot intrigues with each other, you need to invest enormous work in raising children and set them up only for a positive wave mutual love and respect.