So, not everyone, but those who want to get married, are divided into two categories. The first: “marry anyone in your pants” and the second: “marry a good, kind, decent man.” We read about the chances of meeting a “good, kind, decent man” below.
On the central channels of our beloved television, reality shows “about love” are very popular. Where this very love is sought, built, dug up and matched for girls from 18 years old to senile insanity. And advice on this topic is given by "smart" and slogans, such as "at any age there is a chance to find good husband”, and that life “after 40 years is just beginning”, all this undoubtedly sounds beautiful, but how far from the truth all this is ...
1. Age 18-25 years.
And quite rightly, our mothers and grandmothers got married at 18, gave birth to us at 20, and lived as a family happily ever after. This is the coolest age of first love, when all feelings are sincere and real. When girls and boys are not yet poisoned modern fashion on a frivolous relationship, "when everything is sincere, honest, cool. This happens only in youth, and everyone, without exception, remembers their first kiss, and their first loved one, and everything first and present.The most good, kind, decent, loyal, purposeful guys are not married, so the chance to marry happily for love is 90% (10% will be given to the “human factor”, when even at this age you can meet an eccentric who can poison a girl for life) .
2. Age 25-30 years.
As if this is the age when there is still a chance not to jump into the last car of the departing train, but nervously walking along the platform, carefully peer at the departing trains so as not to be late for your car.At the age of 25-30, most good and kind guys are already married and are waiting for their first child, but some careerists, those who “didn’t walk up to 25 years old” and are obsessed with personal freedom are still bachelors. The chance of marrying a good, kind, intelligent and decent man at the age of 25-30 is 50%. Notice how rapidly the percentage has fallen in relation to the chance to marry for love with a “good and decent” man, and this is all because “ good men they take it apart as puppies.”
3. Age 30-35 years.
The peak of divorces, disappointments, and "malicious alimony", a lot of divorced men find themselves on the street in search of happiness. They are battered by first marriages, hate "ex-wives" and tell their friends "how cool they are with young ones." When the wave of insanity subsides, there is one or two remarriable men left on the bachelor market, but even those, as a rule, already have children “there”, which means Saturday meetings with “that” child, alimony and other pleasures of life will forever be in new family. The rest of the divorced men can be safely called "substandard", since women do not leave normal men, which means that newly-minted bachelors have a whole bunch of "dignities". Such as drunkenness, parasitism, gambling, women of all stripes, and so on and so forth.The chance at this age is 20%, and in general the chance to get married is the same 20%, since all newly-minted bachelors, even from the “substandard” sub-category, do not seek remarriage, still being under the impression of their first “happy” union.
4. Age 35-40 years.
This is the time of romantic married people, this is the time when married romantics throw piles at the feet of unmarried ladies in search of "a little love, a little warmth." All normal, good, decent, decent men have been married for a long time, love children, adore wives, spend weekends and holidays together and look with surprise at crowds of single ladies who have been waiting 30 years “to get on their feet and think about marriage.” Ladies, it's too late to think, the last car rumbles off into the distance. There is a chance, breaking off brightly painted nails and skinning your knees, to jump into the last carriage of the outgoing female happiness. The chance of getting married, and even successfully, is 10%.
5. The same age after 40 years.
This is the age when life is just beginning. Maybe it is, but as far as love is concerned, everything is deaf here. The last car disappeared from view a few years ago, peace and quiet on the platform. Occasionally, at the station waiting for a “decent husband”, belching beer and hiccuping, discordant shoals of those same divorced men pass, who for 5-10 years of single life have blabbed outrageously and, as a rule, have sunk to the level of the plinth. The second wave of freshly bred men cannot stand women to the point of disgust, it is they who are sure that all women are fools and all women want a fur coat, shoes and get married. These are the same machos who write on the forums that they sleep exclusively with youngsters and that everything “hangs” and sways in women after 40 years. At the same time, they themselves, as a rule, with a pregnant belly, beer smell, black nails and bald heads. Bad sense of humor and impotence attached. And yes! Extremely high self-esteem.This is the age when wives and mistresses fight to the death for the right to have men's pants in the house, when intelligent ladies with higher education first write to dating sites, hoping to "meet Him." And they are answered from places of deprivation of liberty by married men and other men from the “male spam” category, starting with the phrase “I will call you back.”
After 40 years, normal and single men remain in the proportion of 1 to 100,000, it turns out that the chance of meeting and marrying a good, decent, single man is less than 1%.
Conclusion: everything must be done on time, and get married, and give birth to children. Of course, there are exceptions to any rule and there are happy marriages made at the age of 45, and at 50, and even at 80. But this is more luck, a miracle, winning the lottery than real life, so if there is still a chance to marry successfully , then go ahead. Well, if “after 40 years, life is just beginning”, it’s probably enough to make people laugh and it’s better to do something else, and not search for an ideal, free and non-existent man. And, yes, if you are destined to meet at the age of 45, then he will find you himself.
The worst nightmare of every mother is a daughter who did not get married at 25, 30 or 35 years old. Well, when are you already? - older relatives look at the "stayed up" reproachfully. But she does not understand anything - she herself is still a child, so many countries have not been traveled, so many stallions have not been ridden - what kind of marriage?
By the way, the dispute of generations could be easily avoided by showing mother or grandmother clutching at valerian two graphs. This is the age at which people got married and got married in the 80s of the last century, and now.
Pay attention - when mothers were young, most of the brides and grooms were taken apart before the age of 25. And after 35, the task of finding at least someone free became even more difficult! Here we must add the fact that there are still more divorces. That is, some comrades find themselves in the game again and again.
Now it is not customary to get married and get married too early. Hence, there are many important changes. For example, it is foolish to assume that every 25-year-old, and especially 35-year-old bride, is a virgin. This means that attitudes towards sex before marriage and outside of marriage are the most loyal.
The later age of marriage suggests that the young will live separately from their parents. Living with parents at 20 is normal, at 35 - hellish hell.
This age also implies that, alas, fewer children will be born. I think you understand why.
These changes happened so quickly that many simply did not have time to adapt to them. It is possible that an obsessive aunt or colleague really wants only the best. But only the world is changing every day, and now 35-year-old brides have become the norm, and 18-year-olds are a curiosity. Such is the progress.
A traditional girl's dream is a diamond ring, a wedding dress and, of course, the long-awaited prince himself. And, having received a marriage proposal, every girl asks herself the question - what is the best thing to do? Postpone the wedding and wait until the feelings are tested by time? Or should I immediately agree before the prince changes his mind? According to psychologists, it is equally wrong to immediately rush into the wedding pool with your head and pull indefinitely. has its pros and cons at any age.
According to the law, yesterday's schoolgirl in our country can easily put on a veil. True, you still have to ask your parents for permission. Having barely received a passport, the young "bride" may well jump out to get married under such a circumstance as pregnancy. But the main question remains - will such an early marriage bring happiness, or will passion die out at the first domestic problems?
The most common reasons for getting married at 16
- Unexpected pregnancy.
- Negative family environment.
- Excessive care and control of parents.
- Irresistible craving for independence.
Benefits of getting married at 16
- New status and level of relationship.
- Mental flexibility. The ability to adapt to the character of her husband.
- A young mother will retain her external attractiveness even by the time the child graduates from school.
Disadvantages of marriage at 16
Married at 18
At this age, in contrast to the age of sixteen, you no longer need permission from the guardianship authorities and parents for your personal happiness. And it is quite possible to meet a man in whose life there is neither an ex-wife, nor children from his first marriage, nor maintenance obligations. But many of the pros and cons of getting married at 16 apply to that age as well.
Benefits of getting married at 18
- Blooming youth, which (as a rule) excludes the walking of the strong half "to the left."
- The opportunity to remain a “young” mother already with a very adult child.
- The decision to marry can be made independently.
Disadvantages of marriage at 18
- Love at this age is often confused with a riot of hormones, with the result that the chances of becoming ex-wife multiply increase.
- Maternal instincts are present in every woman, but at this age they have not yet fully woken up so that the mother can give herself completely to the child.
- Such abrupt changes, such as the inability to "walk with girlfriends", wave to a club or salon, often become the causes of nervous breakdowns. In marriage, you have to devote yourself entirely to the family, which, alas, not every girl comes to at this age.
Bride at 23-27 years old
This age, according to psychologists, is ideal for marriage. Already after studying at the university, with a diploma in hand, you can find a good job, a woman already knows a lot, knows and understands what she wants from life.
Advantages of marriage at 23-27 years old
- The female body is already fully prepared for carrying a baby and childbirth.
- The “wind in the head” subsides, and the girl begins to think more soberly.
- Actions become balanced and dictated not only by emotions, but also by logic.
Disadvantages of marriage at 23-27 years old
- Conflict of Interest Risk (one of the couple has not yet outgrown "nightclubs", and the other is concerned about the family budget and possible prospects).
- Approaching the age when pregnancy can become problematic.
According to statistics and the opinion of psychologists, marriages that are concluded at this age, for the most part, are dictated not by love, but by sober calculation. In such marriages, everything is adjusted to the smallest detail, from the family budget to the removal of the trash can. Rather, such marriage is like a business contract
, although its strength cannot be denied - even in the absence of the “passions of youth”, marriages at this age are very strong. Precisely because of the balanced decision.
In conclusion, we can repeat one well-known truth - "All ages are submissive to love." Sincere mutual love knows no obstacles, and the boat of love, subject to trust, respect and mutual understanding, will simply not be able to break into everyday life, no matter at what age Mendelssohn's march is played.
Top reasons to get married
Everyone wants to get married. Even those who prove otherwise. But someone comes out later, someone earlier, depending on the expectations in life. Everyone has for marriage their motives and reasons
:
- All the girlfriends are already married.
- Conscious desire to have a child.
- Strong feelings for the gentleman.
- Desire to live separately from parents.
- An acute lack of male care for a girl who grew up without a father.
- Prosperity of a man.
- The cherished status of a "married lady".
- Parents' insistence on marriage.
Surprisingly, reasons for not getting married modern girls also have:
- Unwillingness to do household chores (cooking, washing, etc.)
- Independence and freedom, the loss of which seems like a catastrophe.
- Fear of pregnancy and loss of harmony.
- Uncertainty in feelings.
- The desire to live exclusively for yourself.
- Reluctance to change surname.
- Life position - "free love".
For many girls who have reached the age of 25, the global question of marriage arises; and annoying advice on how to get married is heard at almost every turn. Indeed, at this rather respectable female age, the problem becomes especially acute, since a self-sufficient young lady is unnecessarily capricious in choosing a life partner, and men also prefer girls a little younger.
First of all, you need to get rid of the "old maid" complex. It is important to understand that 25 years is a mature age for any representative of the weaker sex, in which marriage is not yet a global problem. That is why you should not dwell on your loneliness, and make the search for a husband the meaning of your life. As a rule, men run away from such stubborn girls, considering them to be overly intrusive and limited in communication.
Often a girl cannot get married because of a past betrayal by her now ex-lover. In this case, you will need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive the betrayal, which will return the former trust in the male representatives. Aggression and signs of feminism will pass unnoticed, and men will no longer seem like traitors and traitors, as they used to be.
In order to get married sooner, it is necessary to appear more often in public places, while leading an active lifestyle. You should not limit yourself to work and watching your favorite show on the couch on a day off, because the betrothed will certainly not knock on the door. So, it is recommended to attend concerts, a theater, a fitness club, visit often and just walk in crowded places. If the last break in the relationship was very painful, it does not hurt to also get good advice psychologist how to survive a breakup and start enjoying life again.
At the age of 25, you should not give up on yourself, considering thoughts of marriage and children a pipe dream. In fact, this is not so, since it is possible that the betrothed lives on the next street, for example. That is why it is important to always have a well-groomed appearance, which will arbitrarily attract male gazes. There should always be a friendly smile on the face, and not a sour grimace, which only scares away everyone around. "Zlyuchek" men certainly do not like. Tips on how to become successful in this life will also come in handy.
Lastly, don't expect a fairytale prince who might never show up; but it is better to turn your attention to earthly guys, who are also endowed with a lot of virtues. Besides perfect man You need to do it yourself, and not get it ready-made. Tips on how to become beautiful will also come in handy in this matter.
Love, security, age - these are perhaps the three fundamental areas for marriage. But if everything is clear with love - it either exists or it does not exist, and with security it is also more or less clear - no one has canceled marriages of convenience, then the issue of age is not so simple.
No one will ever give an exact and unambiguous answer to questions like “At what age is it best to get married” and “What should be the age of spouses for happy marriage". Each couple has their own answer to these questions, and only stubborn statistics say that girls prefer to get married at 20-25 years old, and they usually choose guys older than them by at least 3-6 years.
In our survey (on the main page of the portal), the public is unequivocal in their opinion: the best age for a bride is 20-25 years old. In second place is the age of 25-30 years. Young girls under the age of 20 in our "hit parade of the age of the bride" take an honorable third place.
Marriage age has long been associated with youth and physical maturity, health. According to the law, in Ukraine, boys can marry from the age of 18, girls - from 17. However, there is an exception in the Law: in the presence of special circumstances, marriage can be concluded even in more early age. Usually such a "circumstance" is the "accidental" pregnancy of the bride.
But if we omit any "force majeure" circumstances for too early a marriage, several types of families can be distinguished, depending on the age of those entering the barque and the age difference between the spouses.
Early marriage. Of course, to such important issue, like marriage, you need to approach carefully and thoroughly. After all, after the wedding, you associate yourself with your chosen one or chosen one for life. And society quite rightly believes that mature people are capable of making such decisions. Therefore, often the marriage of people aged 18-20, sometimes even 23, is perceived as something premature, not serious. According to statistics, early marriages are the most vulnerable. But, on the other hand, at an early age, feelings and emotions are extremely strong. Love at this age is distinguished by ardor and recklessness, and youthful maximalism sweeps away all obstacles on the way to a loved one. And there are a lot of couples who have proven that they are able to live happily and prosperously all their lives together, from youth to old age. But still, if you are “impatient” to get married at 18, we advise you to think it over carefully. And preferably without emotion. Remember that early marriages tend to break up in the first year.
Marriage of the Golden Age. The age from about 23 to 26-28 years is considered almost the most suitable for marriage. It should be noted that girls mature earlier than boys, but by the age of 25, the difference in physical and, importantly, psychological terms between peers of both sexes practically disappears. This age is the heyday of man. The most favorable for childbirth. For men, this is the time of the best physical shape, endurance. By the age of 23-25, young people, as a rule, finish their studies and start a professional career. They have already decided in life, and can independently provide for the family. Youthful maximalism gives way to an adult outlook on life.
late marriage. At the age of “about 30 or 30 plus”, a wedding is already a conscious, a hundred times weighed decision. Often, at this age, people do not marry for the first time, and they are well aware of what surprises life “after the altar” has in store for them.
Very late marriage. Perhaps, it is to our grandfathers and grandmothers that we owe the popular expression "All ages are submissive to love." Such marriages are concluded at 50, 60, 70 and even 80 and more years! And although at this age, love for partners means more support and care for each other, and not a fire in which all worldly hardships burn out - feelings are so strong that it is just right to envy the young.
Marriage between peers. Usually girls marry their peers, unable to resist lengthy courtship. Such a marriage, as a rule, is the result of a long, kindergarten, school or college love. Relationships develop over a long period of time, and the wedding between peers, oddly enough, turns out to be a completely mature and deliberate decision.
The man is older than the woman. It is believed that a man should be a little, 3-4 years older than his wife. Growing up earlier, girls mature and grow old, too, earlier than their husbands. And a small difference in age compensates for the consequences of these processes.
The man is much older than the woman. Young girls in mature men are attracted primarily by their "adulthood". They are sure that such a man will take care of them, shower them with attention and affection, they strive to be married “like behind a stone wall” and the back of a mature, adult husband seems to them to be such a wall. I must say that most often these dreams come true. True, it is impossible to answer the question of what kind of age difference would be reasonable. Girls are happy to marry men who are 10, 20 and even 30 years older than them. And, I must say, many of these brides feel great in the status of wives.
The woman is older than the man. If the difference is small, within 5 years, such a marriage is practically no different from a marriage between peers or a marriage where the man is slightly older than his wife. But today, marriages are increasingly being registered, where a woman is much, from 10 years old, older than a man. In society, such women are considered "masters of intimate relationships", in the eyes of others they look like real lionesses. Well, rumor tends to ascribe the status of “son” to men in such marriages. Although in reality this is not always the case. A young spouse in such a marriage is, as a rule, a strong guy, but somewhat immature psychologically. He is touchy, vulnerable, unbalanced. He has very few friends. Most often, it is the wife who acts as the main friend and adviser of her husband, she helps him find a place in life. And although, according to statistics, such marriages do not last long, 5-8 years, the young spouse associates success in life with his ex-wife. And often such “ex” remain faithful and best friends for their, also former, wives.
Summing up, I would like to note one thing. Despite the fact that the issue of age for marriage is quite serious, you should not set out to build a relationship precisely within the framework of the ideal, from your point of view, option. People are so different that the criterion of age objectively, in fact, gives only relative characteristics. In any relationship, everywhere and always, you need to listen to the two main advisers. And this is not mom and girlfriend, not dad and uncle - not at all! This is your heart and your head. And these comrades, according to Felix Edmundovich, are radically different - the heart is hot, the head is cold. Therefore, their solutions will have an optimal temperature.
