It's been fucking raining since morning
It's pouring as if from a bucket
In general, this is not a problem,
If you don't make a face in a puddle
And as ugly as a pig
However, this is for me
Just ordinary things
But what happened then,
I myself don’t always believe

You're probably wondering
What happened there?
To be honest, I remember
I don’t want to... well, okay

Well, sit back, sit back,
I'll start my story now
There's hardly anything like it
You will hear at least once

It was on Monday
Twenty-third
And in the beginning, it seems, it was
Everything seems to be the same as always

I got up in the morning, as usual,
Or rather at seven zero five
Hit the wall a couple of times
So that the neighbor does not think about sleeping

I washed my face, combed my hair,
With a refrigerator in the kitchen
Chatted in passing
The conversation was as always:
Eating today is not destiny

Tightening the belt
I went to work
I see suddenly a passerby
He followed me

Something seemed strange
I'm wearing his clothes
It was also strange that
That no one saw him
But it wasn't dark

And when he caught up,
He started telling me something
I made an oath to myself in my thoughts,
That I won't drink anymore

“I,” he said, “are God’s angel,
Descended to you from heaven
But to see me, however,
Only you can, bastard."

“You see, what’s the matter -
Like an echo he echoed -
It’s like there in our sky
Napoleon would have passed
Chaos, terrible disorder
They send us their regards for the fifth day
Do you know who is to blame? –
He let out a questioning groan -
You, my son, are a devil in the rib
You are our cross and common stress."

"I?!" – “No, I’m a scoundrel!”

“But wait, my angel friend,
I didn't do anything
I'm as pure as Mother Teresa
I just eat vodka and that’s it
And it looks like it's over
It’s high time for me”

“Come on, shut up
Look at the sky!
Do you see the stars? No you don't see
There's no sun or moon
And you are to blame for this!

Are you an electrician?
"I'm electric"
“Are you climbing on poles?”
“I’m getting in, wait a minute,
I don't understand where you're going with this?
Just tell me everything!”

“Are you cutting the wires?
Lights in houses for non-payment
Are you turning off citizens?”

“I cut off, I turn off
Still do not understand"

“Do you remember, motherfucker, like on Wednesday,
God forgive me, no light
Promised the whole planet
Are you leaving this summer?

You said you'd cut it
All the wires around the world
And then even the devil
There will be light like hell"

“What, did I really do this?
Damn it, that's it!

“Don’t remember the devils!
They got it the most
It's all hi-fi in hell
Still - the twenty-first century

Internet, microwaves,
Shower for sinful pans
It all depends on the wiring
Well, you, having gotten drunk on vodka,
Managed everything in an hour
Destroy what is centuries old
Created there with us

The devils are moaning that it's frozen
Their body is incorruptible
They go around with complaints, damn it,
In housing and communal services heavenly"

"What to do? I'll be there then
I drank a ton of vodka
And I don't remember a damn thing
Cut what then,
I mean, what kind of wires are they?”

"Don't be afraid, don't worry,
We'll get you right now
Let's bring it to those conditions,
Which ones were you wearing last time?

You will remember everything, believe me, my son,
Even when I came home
The time was - midnight
And your wife uses a frying pan
Shined it right in the eye"

“Well, the bitch, she said,
I'm talking about the toilet"

"Okay, that's enough, here's the bottle
Drink without delay without a snack
To avoid a hangover
Here's a magic potion for you

If you drink, you will immediately forget,
What will happen to you next?
And in the morning you will find
Why are you lying there with your face... well, you’ll find out there.”

Everything has come true, I want to tell you,
As that angel spoke
The stars and the sun are in the sky,
So I fixed everything

It's a pity no one will believe me
They will say: “He drinks too much!”
Well, let it be, but we know
Who will ultimately save the world!

Natalia Kuzmitskaya
Script for congratulating energy workers on their professional holiday on December 22

All the children go out stage, sing: (to the tune “We are starting KVN”):

Again in this room

There's not enough space in this room,

We're all together again

We gathered for an important reason.

This means - holiday,

Congratulations, poems and songs,

It means joy

Hurry up and smile at your friend!

Adults sing: The desired hour has come,

We've been waiting for him so much

A little excited now

Why, why?

We congratulations from the bottom of our hearts,

Energy, you.

Now your kids

You congratulations now!

Children read a montage of poems

1. Calls and telegrams

Flying on wires:

Today energy workers

Everyone wants to congratulate!

2. Say warm words to them,

Light up the light of smiles

And to everyone without exception

Send a big hello!

3. And here we come,

And we welcome you,

And we see the warmth

Your tender eyes!

4. Thank you, dear ones,

For your great work!

You gave life

Turbines and blast furnaces!

5. Plants and factories,

And trains!

Theaters and schools

And kindergartens!

5. Light and warmth, peace and comfort

Us create energy for everyone!

6. Look what our city is like!

From a distance it looks like a mountain!

All covered in chestnuts, fir trees, maples,

It's so green in summer!

7. And beyond the river, and beyond the field.

The pipes of our station!

Looking into the blue sky

Towers at the substation!

8. Turbines are humming at the KTC,

The units are durable,

They say they are ma-hi-ny!

I'd like to take a look, right?

9. The air shook and flew

Thunder, roaring wave.

We were told: Don't worry,

Let's blow out the valves!

10. Just let us grow up

We will be a good change to you.

Crane operators, bulldozer operators,

Electric welders, signalmen,

Various block operators,

Accountants, economists,

Well, in general, we'll be a nice change power engineers!

11. Village energy workers

No wonder they call him Donskoy:

Here are our mothers and fathers,

Grandmothers and grandfathers,

Great-grandmothers, great-grandfathers-

Our The glorious energy workers live!

12. Besides the station, worries

There is no one more important.

Russia's welfare,

And not just steam and light!

13. Our native station

We ask you to take care and store.

Just imagine: she's not there,

How will the country live?

14. She warmed everyone with warmth,

The kids are very happy.

Outside the window there is cold, blizzard,

Come on, winter girl, dance!

Children perform the dance composition "If only there were no winter"

Girls come out with a doll: (singing): Stomp, stomp, the baby stomps.

She's not big in stature and stupid.

Soon he will grow wiser, grow up,

He will come to work for you at the State District Power Plant.

Top-top, top-top, it won't be easy

Top-top, top-top, first steps!

boys: (motive "Marusya" from the film “Ivan Vasilyevich changes profession» )

We go to kindergarten,

But the guys have thoughts

Around adult problems rotate:

We'll grow up soon -

We'll go to work

Professions in the garden are chosen!

Work at the station is difficult,

Work at the station is important!

Current is current - everyone in the world needs it,

The current can warm and illuminate,

There is no current - what could be worse?

What a disaster! - Ah! Oh!

What a disaster! Oh! Oh!

There is no current - we will grieve!

Two girls and a boy: ("Factory")

You see, I walk in the dark all night,

You see, I can’t find my mother,

You see, in the dark kitchen it's just the two of us

Together with the mouse we gnaw on crackers,

Understand! Understand!

And outside the window there are no lights!

You look out your window - don’t look...

Boy: Don't look, don't look there!

Turn on the light and the trouble will go away!

Our state district power station will always be there, you know?

And you and I, when we grow up,

Let's go to work with dad,

Let's go to work with mom,

Understand? Understand!

Girls

They float across the sky...

High above the chimneys of our good station

It's raining.

boys: (in style "rap")

We look at the state district power station, it’s surprising to us,

We don't believe our childish eyes,

What size! What a scope!

What power is in your hands!

Girls: Little white benches, little white tables

You bought it for us.

From the guys "Apple trees", grateful "Apple trees",

Everyone "Thank you" to you!

boys: ("rap") We come here for the umpteenth time,

Let us into the workshops soon!

It's better to see once than to hear a hundred times,

Climb the pipe and look at the roofs!

Girls: White boats, white boats

They float across the sky

Snowy, frosty, white, cold,

Winter is being carried...

Boys ( "rap"): We are not afraid of frost! Every day, every hour

Our station warms us with warmth!

And it’s not for nothing that the child is proud of her,

Novocherkassk State District Power Plant!

Child: All the guys are very glad to see you from the bottom of my heart congratulate,

But today is a rare occasion, we will criticize you.

This afternoon December day

We'll sing ditties!

Children perform ditties (to the tune of "Yaroslavl guys")

We are happy to perform for you,

Here on we ascended the stage.

To you from our kindergarten

Oh, we brought ditties.

Congratulations to the kindergarten

Their power engineers.

It's a pity that he doesn't feel

Take care of them.

In your new bright hall,

All under "Euro" here and there.

Maybe you just don't knew:

They give the best to children!

But we are your grandchildren,

Your daughters and sons.

Why in our house

Are the ceilings leaking?

Autumn has just arrived -

And the drops are ringing in the garden.

What have we gotten to?

Oh, yes, the basins are a mess!

And our windows are not Euro,

And our door is not euro.

Swap house with you

Oh, now we want it!

We thought and wondered for a long time:

What should we ask of you?

Can we today

Oh, should I miss this opportunity?

The President is friends with sports,

Develops sports in the country.

And the water in our pool

Not even at the bottom!

It has been under repair for many years,

We all grieve for him.

We have to splash around in it

Bright, hot, summer day!

We wish our station

It's difficult to survive in life.

She can (we know)

It takes a long time to give light.

All the children go out stage, sing to the tune of the group "Factory":

1. Today we spoke to you from the heart,

And, believe me, the kids are very happy about this meeting!

wonderful scene, and such a wonderful room!

Today at home I’ll tell you how I sang and danced,

Sang and danced!

Chorus: Dear station, live,

For many years, and surprise everyone with this!

And the world around you warms up!

2. Don’t forget about us, help us sometimes,

And we will always live with dignity in our kindergarten.

We will come to you, you congratulations, we wish you many years,

And in your hearts we will leave ours "Apple trees" Hello.

"Apple trees" Hello!

Chorus: Dear station, live,

For many years, and surprise everyone with this!

Dear station, live, don’t grow old,

And the world around you warms up!

Publications on the topic:

Scenario of the matinee “Congratulations from the Brownie’s chest” Matinee script for children preparatory groups“Congratulations from the Brownie’s chest” Prepared by the music director of the MB preschool educational institution no.

Holiday dedicated to the International Women's Day– March 8, children senior group“Rainbow” began with a cheerful dance with umbrellas and poems of congratulations.

Once upon a time, in Rus', traditions and customs were passed down in families from generation to generation - “from mouth to mouth”, “from heart to heart”.

In my photo report I wanted to talk about my children. They are still very small and don’t know how to do much. On the eve of the holiday with us.

M tension arises between people if they have different potentials

K Where childhood is going, what a farewell...

N This is a more permanent connection than a temporary twist!

***

F the aza is generally useful, but unpleasant to the touch...

IN There are only two electrical faults: either there is no contact where it is needed - or there is one where it is not needed at all

***

TO Every electrician wants to know where the phase sits.

...And Most importantly, we provide a lifetime warranty on our products.” Factory customized protective equipment for energy...

IN Moscow - Mosenergo. In St. Petersburg - Lenenergo. And Kherson also has energy.

ABOUT a knowledgeable electrician is afraid to take his wife by both breasts at the same time.

E if someone crossed your path black cat, and behind her is a black mouse,
and behind her is a black Bug, and behind her is a black Granddaughter, then Grandfather dug up not a turnip, but a cable!

WITH Advice to a young electrician:
-If your hands are wearing dielectric gloves, then it doesn’t matter where they come from.

E If Russians loved to work, they would not call a switch a switch!

TO Everyone knows from childhood: a thing wrapped in blue electrical tape will last forever.

IN The kilowatt-hour will serve as a single world currency.
Arthur Clark

TO Every time I open a distribution box somewhere, I am convinced again and again that in our country electricians are creative people!

N and on the transformer booth it is written: “You can’t take US with your bare hands!!!”

G A hot soldering iron looks exactly the same as a cold one...

U electricians have one law: “Either on the shield, or under the shield!”

D For a good electrician, there is no short circuit that he cannot extend

N Observation of electricians: Not fully drunk alcohol indicates unhealthy energy in the team.

Z ground an ungrounded ground...

IN Wireless technologies will always develop rapidly in Russia, because our wires are stupidly screwed up.

ABOUT announcement: I’m helping you overcome Internet addiction. Fast, inexpensive, long lasting. Electrician Sidorov.

TO As is known, the resistance of the human body is about 100 kOhm. Every 100 g of vodka taken internally reduces body resistance by 1 kOhm. How much vodka do you need to drink to achieve a state of superconductivity?

WITH the resistance of the conductor is much greater than the resistance ... of the conductor

G City electric networks will hire 10 more young electricians.

WITH and the administrator imagined himself to be the god of the network, the electrician rudely dispelled this myth

ABOUT announcement. Dumb electricians are required for kindergarten.

E lecturer: “I fell in love with her when she called a condom a “fuse”

"N“I’ll start my life from scratch,” said the electrician, sticking a screwdriver into the shield

E If you rub the magic lamp for too long, you may receive a non-magical electric shock.

E Lecturer at work: “The last cartridge is for yourself!

H what is step voltage? (This is the tension that occurs between the legs when approaching the bare end)

Several years ago, a tradition emerged to participate in city holidays and encourage conscientious payers.

Thus, in the village of Osa, on April 24, a festival of eating poses was held. For the eleventh time, the holiday was held by the Okruzhnaya Pravda weekly. As part of the festival, the Irkutsk Energy Sales Company organized a competition of energy-themed ditties. “The Osinsky section of the Eastern branch of Irkutskenergosbyt is a permanent partner of the festival,” says the head of the section, Sergei Bairov. - During the holiday, we always reward the most honest payers among ordinary residents and legal entities of the region. We invite people who honestly pay their electricity bills to the stage and reward them with gifts in a festive atmosphere. The audience is also included in the process. A fun quiz has been prepared for them. In order to receive a gift, you need to know, for example, how many hydroelectric power stations there are in the Irkutsk region. We do not stand still, we constantly come up with something new. This time it was decided to also hold a ditty competition.”

For comfort and everyday life

The service is Energosbyt.

Strict accountants

Checking the meters.

Creative groups from Maisk, Rassvet, Primorsk came to the festival specifically to perform ditties.

And the folk ensemble “Zorenka” from Osa sang a song in honor of Siberian power engineers. All participants were awarded prizes. First place was deservedly taken by Anatoly Korneev and his accompanying harmonica player Sergei Kutsek. Individual entrepreneurs Oksana Kovalevskaya and Vera Katuntseva, as well as Primorsk resident Nikolai Ivanovich Ivashchenko and Osa resident Valentina Alekseevna Vlasova received prizes as the most honest payers.

“Such events are very important for the population. This is an opportunity to communicate directly with people, to convey the necessary information in a relaxed holiday atmosphere,” says Sergei Bairov. - The festival of eating poses was loved by local residents and became a place to unite people. Our company will continue to support such events.”

Electrician is one of the most important professions in modern society. Jokes about electricians are based on fictional stories, but we should remember that without these specialists our life will not be very comfortable. In jokes about electricians you can find professional humor, which, nevertheless, is understandable to everyone.

People whose activities are related to wiring, electricity, phases and transformers will probably be most interested in electricians. It’s so cool to read a joke and see yourself in the hero of the story.

I work as an electrician, the boss wrote a work order: “Check the fuses for operation, repair if necessary.” I have been puzzled by work for the rest of my life.

An electrician was called to the factory where the machine had broken down. The electrician walked around him, measuring something, twisting it. Then he clicked some part in it, and the machine started working.
Director:
- How much do your services cost?
Electrician:
- 500 Euro.
The director is puzzled, but not confused:
- Please send an estimate of the repair work performed
Text of the estimate
1. Click - 1 euro;
2. Knowing where to click - 499 euros.

A drunk electrician holds onto a pole. And there's a bare wire hanging nearby.
The electrician looks at him and says: “Noooooooooo…
And he grabs the wire with his hand - at this time he gets an electric shock:
- All! Understood…

An anecdote from electricians:
-Who is the coolest in the world?
- Electricity. He beats everyone, but no one hits him.
- Why is he so cool?
- He is smart. Always follows the path of least resistance.

Three boys are sitting, chatting.
“My grandfather,” says the first, “was a tank driver during the war!”
“And mine,” says the second one, “is a pilot.”
Third: - And mine was an electrician!
- Stop pouring in, there are no such troops!
Third:
- I’m telling you exactly, he even has two lightning bolts painted on his helmet!

Two electricians meet, one is single, the other is married.
The second one asks:
- Why don’t you get married?
- I'm looking for a three-phase wife.
- How is that?
- So that there is a beauty as a guest, a hostess in the kitchen, and a jacket in bed.
After some time they meet:
-Well, have you found a three-phase wife?
- I found it, only she has a phase shift...
- ...?
- She is the hostess in bed, a beauty in the kitchen, and a jacket when visiting.

Electricians are so harsh at work that their soap dish is welded from 4 mm steel.

The husband comes home. His wife tells him:
- The switch is broken, please repair it.
- Am I an electrician or something?
The next day:
- The faucet is leaking, it needs to be fixed.
- What am I, a plumber, or what?
On the second day, the man comes home, the tap is not flowing, the switch is working. - Who did it?
- Neighbour.
- What did you ask for?
– Sing or give.
- Well, did you sing?
- What am I, a singer or what?

Announcement:
The building management is looking for an electrician. Work schedule: two days off a week, on Saturday, if they call you, you have to go out, and if they don’t call you, don’t go out, and on Sunday, even if the wiring catches fire, you don’t have to go, but we guarantee payment.

The sapper and the electrician make only one mistake, but the electrician also dances before he dies.

An electrician sits on a pole. Too lazy to go downstairs to get the wire. Asks a passing grandmother: - Granny! Give me that wire! - Here, take it, son. The electrician’s brain flashes: “yeah, that means it’s out of phase.”

The lady calls the electrician.
- I asked you to come in and fix the bell!
- And I was with you.
- But I didn’t go out anywhere.
- I came, called, no one opened the door for me, so I left.

And now sports news: yesterday at the swimming competition, electrician Sidorov closed the top three.

Electricians. Master to student: “I can grab this wire with my bare hands and it won’t kill me.” Do you know why?
- Nope.
- Because I turned off this part of the substation!
- Ah-ah-ah! Understood.
- But you will stand in rubberized clothes, rubber gloves, rubber boots and on a rubber mat and you will still be moved!
- And why?
- Yes, because you need to study notes, and not flap your ears!

If your phone is switched off, it means the operator is joking. If there is light, the electricians are joking. And if you have water, electricity, telephone and gas, it means that Russia has finally recognized your sovereignty.

Three men are arguing about whose profession is the most ancient.
Builder:
- Yes, our profession is the most ancient. We also built the Egyptian pyramids.
Gardener:
- Yes, where are you going? Our specialists were already planting the Garden of Eden.
Electrician:
- Why are you all arguing? Even before God said, “let there be light,” we already had all the wiring installed.

What is your profession?
- I'm an electrician at a factory...
- And how much do you get?
- And it depends on what kind of soil...

What about the greenhouse effect? ​​The other day two women came knocking on my door and started talking about the end of the world. And it’s true: the next day the electricians turned off the electricity throughout the street and changed the power poles.

A man comes into the switchboard, and an electrician is sitting there.
Man: - Why are you sitting here?
Electrician: - This is my office!

Gossip:
They also say that in America deaf and mute electricians are not given dielectric gloves.

Hello, Seryoga, I have a problem with the wiring... you're an electrician, aren't you?
- No, I'm a turner!
- Well, it’s still connected to the current, let’s go help!

The electrician sadly looks at the large pile of ash near the transformer booth and says: “I told you “phase”, and you told me “zero, zero!”

An electrician, a chemist, a mechanic and a programmer are traveling together in a car. Suddenly the engine stalled.
- The electrician says, “The battery is probably dead.”
- The chemist says, - “No, most likely the wrong gasoline.”
– Mechanic, “I think this transmission is not working.”
– Programmer, – “Can we get out of the car and go back in?”

The ensign asks the soldier:
- Is it true, Kuzkin, that you are an electrician?
- That's right, Comrade Warrant Officer.
- I found you a job in your specialty. You will check at 22.00 whether the lights in the barracks are turned off.

At the entrance of the house, next to a respectable gentleman lying on the floor, there are an electrician and two emergency doctors.
Electrician:
- Somewhat nervous... I finished work, I rang the doorbell and said:
"Master, the counter is on..."

Electrician at work: "The last cartridge is for yourself!"

Girl, let's get to know each other. I'm electric. I work with voltage of ten thousand volts. I recently received my sixth grade.
- The sixth category is amazing! And each ten thousand!

A select few become electricians, so if you haven’t reached 220, you shouldn’t even think about becoming a lord of darkness.

I called her over and playfully hinted that there would be no problems - we electricians use rubber protective equipment not only at work. She replied that although she is not an electrician, she was also taught not to walk on cables.

In the operating room:
- Doctor, it seems we lost him...
- Oh, what will happen now???
- Nothing, nothing.
- Now the electricians will fix the light, and we’ll find it.
- He shouldn’t go far...
- Where will he go in the dark... Under anesthesia...
- Yes, and his kidney, I still have here.

Every time I open a distribution box somewhere, I am convinced again and again that in our country electricians are creative people.

An electrician's son comes home with a swollen cheek.
- What's happened? - asks the father.
- Yes, the wasp had one end uninsulated.

In the bus:
- Your ticket?
- No, what about yours?
- I'm a controller, actually!
- And I’m an electrician, so why shouldn’t I pay for the light now?!

Listen, Vovan, here on the sign it says “Caution, do not dig - communication cable!”
- Oh, what will happen? This is not a high voltage wire, but a communication cable!
- Otherwise, if something happens, an electrician will come and get in touch with you!

A drunk man stands near the women's restroom and presses the light switch button. A woman comes up and says:
- Man, you apparently need to go to the men’s room, you’re wrong! The man shakes his head and says:
- Nope. The woman again:
- Man, you made a mistake, you need to go to the men's room!
The guy again:
- Nope.
The woman is indignant:
- Man, you need...
The man interrupts her and, slurring, says:
- Well, go away, I'm an electrician.

End of the working day...
A breathless trainee electrician runs into the foreman's shed and shouts:
- Stepanych! What should I do? The girls have already plastered the walls, but I forgot the wiring!
- Eh, student, how long have I taught you that you can’t forget about vodka at a construction site!

Why do the lights go out gradually in the cinema? The electrician slowly, slowly removes the plug from the socket.

Electricians have one law: “Either on the shield, or under the shield!”

A sailor looks into the luxury cabin on the ship and asks the gentleman there:
- Sorry, sir. I am the electrician of this ship. One of our passengers was accidentally electrocuted there. Would you like some cognac and a slice of lemon?
- Of course of course. Here's cognac and lemon.
- Thank you, sir...
The sailor closes the cabin door, gulps down all the cognac, snacks on lemon, sniffs his sleeve and says:
- Damn, I’ve been working on this ship for so many years, and I still can’t calmly see one of the passengers being electrocuted...

Two electricians stand in the corridor of an office center and look at the wall.
One says:
- Che Second:
- Let's cut it. And then - who will scream first...

Village. Three electricians work in the transformer booth all day. The entire village was cut off from power. It's late in the evening. The whole village gathers around the transformer.
- When will you turn on the light?
- My refrigerator has already defrosted.
- How can!!!
Electricians answer
- Citizens... Be patient for a couple more hours... We'll finish soon. We are trying for you. After we finish, you will forever forget what electricity is.

The electrician comes running to the signalman,
- Give me your claws, we need to climb down the pole. He gave it to him.
The electrician comes running in about ten minutes,
- Hey, signalman, give me some more claws.
- Where did they go?!
- Yes, they remained on the pole.

I'm making a chair for my mother-in-law here!
- And how much is left?
- No. The only job left is for the electrician.

From the explanatory electrician. "I received 250 grams of alcohol to wipe the contacts. During the work, I inhaled alcohol vapor, lost self-control and drank everything else."

"Let there be light!" - said the electrician and reached for matches.

After receiving an electric shock, a trainee electrician is asked:
- What's your name, remember?
- Not sure!
- Will you get up yourself?
- Not sure!
- Well, are you at least sure of anything?
- Yes! From the point of view of paradoxical induction this situation catastrophically mystifies subjective abstractionism.

“I’ll start my life from scratch,” said the electrician, sticking a screwdriver into the shield.

An electrician doesn't fall far from pliers.

In a dimly lit entrance, an electrician is tinkering with a broken lamp; the resident who enters says sympathetically:
- Isn't it dark? Can you turn on the light?

One electrician talks about his work:
- If you knew how many volts I held with these hands!
- A..ah, so you play cards at work?

An electrician from the housing office receives a call on his mobile phone and is told: there is an emergency at home, the sockets are out, the lights are not on. He came running home and rushed to fix it. His wife: - Wait!
Pours 100 grams. The electrician was surprised and drank. After some time, everything was fixed, I need to continue running on requests. His wife puts $50 in his pocket, the electrician went completely nuts, and his wife said: Take it, take it, you can’t relax in your business.

Why doesn't the remote control work?
- Of course, I’m not an electrician, but in my opinion, the remote control doesn’t work because there’s no TV.

After his marriage, the electrician had no luck.

Sign on the door of the transformer booth.
"Don't get involved! I'll kill you! Electrician."

They built a building. Electricians came, installed a new electrical panel, and turned on the power. The next morning the foreman looks, and the shield is all torn, bent, and burnt.
The foreman calls the foreman to the carpet: - What are you doing at all? What's happening?
Master: - Ah..., yes, it was the migrant workers who received email from the network.
- So what? Did you get everything?
- We received everything, but no one had time to read it.

From the electrician's notebook:
- It is very difficult to find a switch in a dark room, especially if it is in the corridor!

Two electricians meet in the next world.
- What, a phase? – one asks sympathetically.
- No, earth! - answers the other.
- Don't make fun of me, the earth doesn't kill!
- How it kills! Especially if you fall from a pole onto it upside down!

The chief power engineer says to the head of the personnel department:
- Lena! Check the new electrician's personnel file again. Every time after working in the control room, he erases fingerprints from the machine.

The electrician says to the owner of the house:
- I found the reason why your lights went out - it was a short circuit.
- So lengthen it.

From a letter to A.B. Chubais.
Dear Anatoly Borisovich, electrician Vasily Andreevich Prokopov writes to you. Do something. Due to my great physical resemblance to you, I get beaten very often.

How an electrician lives is a state secret. What does he live on - commercial.

A man comes to his neighbor's electrician and sees him standing with a frying pan in his hand, frying eggs, but doing it in a strange way. From one electric stove he moves it to the second, from the second to the third, then again to the first.
Man:
- What are you doing?
- Yes, I have a wire to the electric stove from the traffic light!

In a madhouse, a lecturer gives a lecture about the advantages of the current government. Everyone gets clapping except one.
- And you, comrade, why don’t you applaud?
- I'm not crazy, I'm an electrician!