Women's holiday March 8, as a rule, is celebrated several times: with colleagues and classmates, with relatives, with girlfriends and friends. And at any feast, especially if it takes place in close company, in addition to solemn congratulations, there is a place for jokes and anecdotes about the holiday, which will both amuse and give rise to discussion at the table.
Offered here table jokes and toasts for March 8, full of love and irony, kind and not so kind, lyrical and funny - choose those that are suitable for your company. This collection is collected from various sources (thanks to the authors) and everyone can find something of their own in it.
1. Comic alcoholic horoscope for ladies on March 8
And on horseback, in short, everything is ok!
And the pulse is faster, the sparkle in the gaze,
But it wouldn’t hurt to drink quickly.
And the stars for each lady are according to their sign,
In short, under which we were born,
They will give advice on what and how much to drip,
Madams don't get too drunk.
Aries
Depending on what time you start,
But cognac is still preferable,
Just pour a couple of drops into yourself,
The world will turn pink - just like that!
And everyone will seem surrounded by men
Pretty cute for you
And if the drink brought doubts into the soul,
Add beer, Aries - just right!
Taurus
Taurus should not be charming
For libations stronger than wine,
Of course, if it's trash, then it'll suit you,
Vodka and tequila - it's all the same.
As a last resort, you can Madeira,
A couple of glasses is enough
And you leave the rest to the gentlemen,
And everyone will understand that the truth is in wine!
Twins
Cutie Geminis will become happier,
If they allow themselves at the table,
Champagne, they won’t get tired until nightfall,
And they will have fun, and moreover,
Shampoo will add charm to you,
And it will add a little charm to Gemini,
But only in the morning - there will be a cry of despair,
Do you agree? Well, then we drink to the ladies.
Square bottles of Amaretto,
For Cancers, it will be cute for the eyes,
And to conquer men at the same time,
Stick out your little finger then.
And drink, Cancers, one sip at a time, knowing
That liquor quickly knocks you off your feet,
Don't lose the thread of the conversation,
Have a snack, in general, the stars know.
For Lionesses, of course, tequila,
She will allow you to be sweet
And white teeth, piercing the lemon,
Don't forget to shoot with your eyes.
And the whole world will submit to the Lionesses,
Tequila will allow you to turn around,
And ask him to buy kefir
Someone for you to move in the morning.
Virgo
Lagrima white port - now for Virgos
Ideal for drinking
Olives, meat for a snack, and you can safely
You will charm everyone instantly, high
Virgos will have self-esteem right there,
But you don't need to turn your nose up too much,
Port wine is port wine, but control is still needed.
And it is undesirable to drink cognac.
Scales
Libra for feelings of fullness,
Nowadays you can indulge in gin,
Not by the fact that it will fulfill all your dreams,
And alcoholic, with tonic.
You won’t feel anxious, don’t be afraid,
Just stock up on more snacks
And that’s it, calm down, relax on the 8th,
Have fun, in general, hang out.
Scorpion
And Scorpios will prefer beer,
Of course, not the Baltic Nine,
And Guinness, for example, or Ale will be brought in,
Give you some mystery and it will become sweet
Today is life for gentle Scorpios,
And your laughter will become mischievous after beer,
Eat your fish casually,
A complex problem will turn out to be simple.
Sagittarius
Chablis Grand Cru - great for Sagittarius
A little expensive, but...
Any man is ready for this,
Anything will happen, nothing
He won’t feel sorry for Sagittarius,
Drop a little bit into his glass,
And after dinner, good luck on your plate,
Everything will be great for you, in general, let's go!
Capricorn
And Capricorns will stop now,
Beat yourself up and cry about fate,
And so that your determination does not become less,
You order some vodka for yourself.
Yes, mix well with the juice,
Tomato or orange will do,
Fry the meat and don’t skimp on the mustard,
If you like it - the horoscope doesn’t lie!
Aquarius
Marsala is suitable for Aquarius,
One bottle is enough
Well, if you think it's not enough,
Let me try some vodka already,
But just give me a sandwich with sausage.
And if you are not afraid for your gait,
Then drink boldly, Aquarians, here you go!
Fish
Strike or Jaguar, Pisces should avoid
Beer, for starters,
But don't drink vodka.
The best option would be
Cahors, a couple of bottles for you,
Chocolate, meat on a platter,
Give the Fishes a hard time!
(Source: novyy-god.ru)
2. Toast - monologue for March 8th "Let's be women!"
Recently an interesting thought occurred to me: what if men had the same psyche as women? On the one hand, they would be morally stronger than they are now, perhaps even the number of men drinking would be reduced. On the other hand... Will we be ready to endure their whims? “I want it,” the men would constantly whine and burst into tears for a new fur coat. Although no, for the sake of a new fishing rod, for example. They would freeze at store windows and, turning to you, bat their eyelashes and, smiling, say: “Honey, I have always dreamed of such a ring (a suit, a shirt, a boat, finally). Are you going to give this to me?” And there would be nothing left to do but buy this thing. Men would make eyes and wait for that pretty blonde to come up. They would flinch and cuddle up to women while watching a horror movie together - and this is with male dimensions! Just imagine how they would drive a car! It’s good if you don’t close your eyes in front of oncoming traffic. We would have fun, to be sure! In the meantime, men don’t have the female psyche, let’s get “stuck” in front of stores, crying because you’ve had a fur coat for two years now. Be afraid of everything you can. Let's be women!
3. Table joke "To lovely women..."
Wishes for lovely ladies today,
A flurry of compliments, an ocean of attention,
Clear smiles, boundless love,
Different gifts, different gifts
Various gifts, tender words.
Songs and bouquets for ladies today
Chains, rings, sweets, cosmetics...
Men run around and smile
And dear women, and dear women,
And nice women like him for it.
Men are all so attentive on our holiday,
Prudent and obligatory
And everyone is so polite and tries so hard!
And dear women, and dear women,
And nice women like it all.
Spring has come and the sun is shining brightly,
And the most wonderful time of the year.
Everyone is smiling, everyone is in the mood
And dear women, and dear women,
And congratulations are sent to lovely women.
Oh, if only a miracle of miracles happened
And this happiness was repeated tomorrow!
May it remain like this forever:
Men run, men run,
Men run to please us.
4. .
One day the February Cat was cooking compote in the kitchen,
When suddenly the unshaven but affectionate March Cat showed up.
He brought a bottle of valerian and a piece of fresh mouse
The Cat melted when she heard his inviting voice.
She warmed up the newcomer, poured milk for the “stopar”,
And throwing off her striped robe, she gave away all her girlish passion.
This unexpected caress made our cat slightly stunned,
He rolled his gray eyes, straightened his mustache and began to sing.
And the Cat? Having powdered her nose a little, she briskly left the bed,
She sat down with the “cat” on the roof and began to sing along with him.
A bouquet of edible aromas has already reached from the kitchens,
But for a long time the spring cat duet was heard.
Since then, on this day, dear ladies of all shades and stripes
Men bring gifts all over our planet, all over.
Why is this verse incompetent? Any idiot can guess
What's for the Holiday the best gift is the March Cat.
(Source: forum.ffclub.ru)
5. “How does a wife keep her husband?"
GERMAN - food;
ENGLISH - by upbringing;
CZECH - by power;
SPANISH - passion;
KUBINKA - dancing;
POLKA - affection;
CHINESE WOMAN - flattery;
MEXICAN - revenge;
ITALIAN - singing;
GRUSINKA - patience;
GREEK - beauty;
ARMENIAN - fullness;
FRENCH WOMAN - body;
AMERICAN - by deed;
RUSSIAN - love!
For RUSSIAN women!
6.
"Let there be a holiday for two!"
Waking up in the morning after drinking,
He glanced at the calendar:
It's time to think about gifts
Look - February will end
Coming up with ideas is not a matter of moment...
Why not buy, say, a cake?
Or maybe looking for a present
Should I go to Yuvelirtorg first?
Diamonds sparkle
A golden chain flows...
Diamonds? For my infection?
Eighth of March? Holy shit...
Or maybe some kind of handbag...
That one with the "De and Ge" emblem...
How much..? HOW MANY??? Am I freaking out???
Well, the prices... wow.
Been running to the shops for a week
Rocher, Lancome and L'Etoile,
Spent half a day on paintings,
Scratching the back of my head at the crystal
I looked at the manicure set
With a strange name "Solingen"
I noticed the openwork handkerchief
Not that... not that... not that at all.
Then I thought about tights
And not deciding on them either
I bought it for her
FIVE BOTTLES OF VODKA!
Let there be a holiday for two!!!
(Source: anekdotikov.net)
7. "Goddesses are bitches"
God gave us beauty... and the devil - intelligence... We don’t need to be carried in our arms... we will sit on your neck... and you don’t need to kiss the ground on which we walked... and if you really want it, then stand in line... With us no delusions of grandeur...great people don’t suffer from this...We are not selfish...we just didn’t care about the opinions of others...We don’t need compliments...we already know about our perfection...We never argue.. .,because we are always right anyway...We are not vindictive...we are just bitches and we have a good memory...We are not aggressive...just cute fluffy cats sharpening their nails...We are not jealous...because there is no one to be jealous of... After all, we are goddesses or just... girls!
(Source: arbuziki-tut.ru)
8. “What a woman really needs...”
What a Woman Really Needs
We more or less seem to know!
And everything that you would like to wish for yourself -
This is exactly what we wish for you!
Good luck in job! The weather is pleasant!
Love - pure, tender and repeated!
Children of different sexes! The coat fits your figure!
Neighbors in the compartment - they don’t drink or smoke!
Silky hair! Snow-white teeth!
Husbands - wealthy! Sponsors - gentle!
Lovers - smart! Spouses are in law!
Mothers-in-law - living in another region!
Submissive daughters-in-law! Dishes - washed!
Husbands who don't snore and are shaved at night!
Colleagues - not fixated only on women!
Enemies - weak! Enemies - very weak!
Lunch to bed! Impressions - polar!
And... these... well... in general, that... regular ones!
Stocking - no puffs! Not a day without a new thing!
Husbands are on a very long business trip!
Love - burning, like in the series!
Five series - on each channel!
Romanov - resort! The impulses are crazy!
Neighbors both below and above - silent!
A trip - not to the garden, but to the sea!
The pie is delicious, but without the calories!
The cars are foreign, but the steering wheel is on the left!
Perfume - from Dior! Flowers - daily!
Intentions - different, but better than serious ones!
Housing - five-room and five-star!
A well-deserved vacation - on the beaches and waves!
Trolleybuses - on time and incomplete!
Tickets on buses - only happy ones!
Friends - not boring ones! Friends - not jealous!
Husbands - wealthy! (As the saying goes,
If you really want it, it’s not a sin to repeat yourself!)
Love - so that it ignites like gunpowder!
(When it's important, don't mind repetitions)
Washing machines, vacuum cleaners, combines -
Both functional and stylish designs.
Passions - exhausting! Difficulties - brief!
Diamonds - no less than 40 carats!
Plumbers - imported! Childbirth - without pain!
No problems! Chiffoniers - without moths!
And... it seems... we forgot something else...
Oh ok! Love!!!
And sideboards - without dust!!!
And the dream of becoming a great artist will come true!!!
And Women's Day - at least 300 times a year!!!
People in Russia know how to have fun. When we celebrate any holiday with a feast, we toast “to health and happiness,” often repeating ourselves even in our most sincere wishes. Comparing the toasts for March 8, made in one company with holiday wishes, said in a completely different group, we, to our surprise, notice - congratulating absolutely different people, we say the same words! How to avoid such “sameness”? How to make an unusual toast to your colleagues that is unlike any other? How to please women with good humor, a joke, how to express words of approval to her briefly and cheerfully? In our selection, we have collected examples and ideas of successful comic toasts pronounced on International Women's Day.
Cool short toasts to women on March 8 - Ideas for small funny toasts
Having gathered at the table on March 8, those present always congratulate the women, accompanying each congratulation with a toast. If you want to avoid the banal lists of wishes for “health, happiness and long life,” change the tactics of your approach to creating the toast itself. As you raise a glass in honor of the women (or one of them) gathered, name the qualities for which you appreciate them. Don’t set yourself the task of “announcing the list” - be concise. Remember that several guests are waiting for the end of your toast - respect their time and patience.
Ideas for short, funny toasts to women on March 8
When making a toast to women on March 8, begin your congratulations with a short story, the end of which should always be unexpected and relate to the qualities of the person in whose honor the table congratulations are said. You need to speak briefly, respecting those gathered at the table and leaving time for other men to express their wishes to the ladies. The toast can be pronounced either in prose, in the form of a parable or fable, or in verse, a short, funny rhyme. There will probably be a poet at your table who wants to dedicate his short poem to women. Such congratulations and toasts are very much appreciated in any company.
And here it is March 8th again!
What to wish? Love again?
More men again?
Lots of gifts and flowers?
Or maybe a lot of children
And a hundred most wonderful friends?
And I don't need plagiarism!
And I would be glad to wish you
Lose your last money
And be late for the bus,
But instead find
There are well... 3 million draws!
An armed woman is the one
to whom the man gave his weapon
for the opportunity to see her unarmed.
For unarmed women
striking armed men!!
The crazy woman is the one
which many are crazy about.
For without smart women!
Why do eagles fly in the clouds?
They like it there.
Why do fish swim in water?
She lives there.
Why do we all love... (name)?
Because she is a beautiful woman
and a wonderful person.
Let's drink to her!
Cool toasts for women colleagues on March 8 - Parables about a woman in prose and poems with humor
When starting to make a toast to your female colleagues at a corporate party, do not repeat the mistake of most people who begin their speech by listing wishes for goodness, love, health... Let the first lines of the toast sound unexpected. Since March 8th is fun party, toasts can be humorous. Do you like congratulations in verse? Great - find a few short ones in advance funny quatrains, dedicated to women, and announce them whenever it is your turn to make a toast.
Colleague, let me congratulate you
Happy beautiful and spring Women's Day!
I want to say, there is no need to lie here,
May happiness be in your nest!
May you be protected every day
Love, hope, faith and family!
Problems quickly disappear on their own
And true friends will be nearby!
One day a man appeared to God and prayed:
Create a woman for me!
God took a little sunlight, a little moonlight, added to them the meekness of a dove, the beauty of a swan, the lightness of the breeze, the fluffiness of the first snow, the purity of the spring sky. After thinking a little, I added the magpie's talkativeness, the volume of a thunderstorm in early May and the unrestrainedness of the waterfall.
And out of this whole explosive mixture came a beautiful woman. God breathed life into her and gave her to the man with the words: “Take it and suffer!”
Toast to women: “Let’s drink to the wonderful explosive mixture whose name is Woman!”
There are different women, Like wines, sparkling, White or red, Fermenting and sparkling. Dessert wines, fortified, Or sweet liqueurs, They can be rounded, And vice versa - smooth. They are like ice, And they are like honey... Let's drink to all of you, such different women!
Examples of cool toasts to female colleagues - Congratulations in verse and prose on March 8
Raising a glass to women on March 8, say a small toast in honor of the beautiful ladies. Let it be a joke or a small funny story, somehow connected with the lady - the recipient of your congratulations. If you are congratulating all your female colleagues, wish them all successful career growth and prosperity in funny poems or a few funny lines of prose. Try not to say famous jokes and anecdotes “with a beard” - your congratulations should be fresh, witty and kind.
March 8th is the holiday
Which is full of joyful moments,
Beautiful women and flowers,
Perfume, smiles, compliments!
Our friendly team welcomes you
Congratulations on this Spring Day!
Let life give only positive things
And it lifts your spirits!
I want to congratulate you with all my heart
Happy International Women's Day!
Have some more fun
A gentle joke, but with fire!
I wish you in the sea of flowers
Can't find your bed.
With your loved one soon
You'll have until the morning to crush the flowers!
And the soul's path from pleasures
Yells like a skinny cat in March!
I wish you new sensations -
March 8th, all year round
A little boy asked his mother: “Why are you crying?” - Because I'm a woman. - I don't understand! Mom hugged him and said: “You will never understand this”... So let’s drink to mutual understanding!
Comical short toasts for March 8th - Cheerful congratulations to women at the table
You already know that you are definitely invited to a banquet or gala dinner in honor of March 8, but you have no idea how you will congratulate the heroes of the occasion? It doesn’t matter - on our page you will find a variety of humorous and serious short toasts in honor of women. They say the best jokes and impromptu ones are taught and carefully rehearsed in advance. Do this too - rewrite or retype the words of cheerful toasts and congratulations, so that you can then read them by heart to the women gathered at the festive table in honor of the International women's day.
Ideas for short comic toasts to women in honor of March 8th
No matter how modestly and inconspicuously you behave at the festive table in honor of March 8th, you will definitely be noticed and asked to also join in the general congratulations by making a toast dedicated to the assembled ladies. In order not to get into trouble and not to blush and turn pale, denying the “match,” learn in advance several short comic toasts about International Women’s Day and women and show off your wit!
Far away in the mountains lived warring tribes
giant eagles and golden eagles.
And they had a talisman - a necklace of fabulous beauty,
for which they constantly fought.
And then during one battle the necklace broke,
the beads scattered all over the world,
and from them came the feminine gender.
So let's drink to the pearls,
who have gathered at this table.
The perfect woman is the one who is difficult
reproach for wanting to look better,
than she really is.
For impeccable women!
Women achieve more with tears
than men with intelligence. So let's drink to smart women who always know
when you need to shed a tear!
Short toasts for March 8 - Holiday greetings to beautiful ladies
When making a toast in honor of the beautiful ladies who become simply delightful every March 8th, talk about the best spiritual qualities of the women present at the table. Of course, there is no need to list all the positive features of representatives of the fair half of humanity - pay attention to not the most noticeable of them.
Ideas for short toasts for beautiful ladies on March 8th
Every toast in honor of a woman is, in essence, a compliment to a beautiful lady. When pronouncing such wishes and congratulations at the table, try not to overdo it; Please the woman with kind words, remaining sincere and avoiding flattery. Short toasts spoken from the heart sound best, rather than long ornate phrases often read from a piece of paper.
For the sun to shine, the sky to turn blue, the roses to bloom,
and the women were wonderful!
The taste of life is on a woman's lips.
The feeling of life is in the arms of a woman.
To the women who represent the whole world to us.
Here's to the winners!
Everyone around me thinks too much
about maintaining decency.
To hell with conventions.
For the beautiful... (name), which I like!
If you have already been invited to a celebration in honor of International Women's Day, but you are not yet ready to make toasts at the table on March 8, our examples of the best short wishes and congratulations to the wonderful ladies will help you in this situation. Don’t forget - when delivering congratulations and compliments to female colleagues or ladies you know, remain sincere and be brief. It’s not formal long toasts in prose that sound best, but short statement or funny poems about the fair half of humanity.
For dear ladies: for daughters and mothers,
for all the charming loved ones -
so beautiful and so vulnerable,
We are raising the first hundred grams!
There is a myth about a beautiful pearl that was kept by the ancient gods of beauty. But there were many gods, and there was only one pearl, which had no equal. Every day the gods passed it on to each other. But one day they quarreled and began to take the pearl from each other - then the pearl crumbled into small pieces.
These pieces fell to the ground and became beautiful women.
So let's drink to the beautiful pearls that adorn our company!
A large white whale swims around the female and says reproachfully: “So many countries, environmental organizations, political leaders, millions of people - they all worry and fight for our species to survive, and you tell me - my head hurts...”. My toast: “To you, women! So that you never have a headache!”
I think those who claim that women cannot keep a secret are wrong. You just need to remember that this is very not an easy task, and women deal best with it collectively.
So let's raise a glass to the women who, together or alone, cope with the most difficult tasks!
Women are not created to be understood, but to be loved! For your beloved women!
What do you think the Earth revolves around? Around its axis? You are mistaken - the Earth revolves around a Woman! And you probably thought that only men revolve around women?..
I raise my glass to those who always know the right answer - to the beautiful Ladies!
Those who praise women do not know them enough.
Those who scold women don’t know them at all!
I propose a toast to our women whom we know and love!
A man is a person who confidently holds his future, work, success in his hands.
A Woman is a person who carries on her shoulders a house, a household, children, worries and a man who confidently holds everything in her hands
For the great ability to be a woman!
In order for a boy to grow up a real man, there should be a real woman nearby.
For real women!
In ancient times there lived a padishah. He once called an astrologer to him and said:
“You lived with me for a long time, never once predicted anything bad for me, and all your predictions came true.” And that's why I wanted to reward you. Choose any of my wives.
The astrologer approaches his first wife:
- Tell me, how much is two and two?
“Three,” she says.
“What a thrifty wife,” thought the astrologer.
The second one replied:
- Four.
“What a smart wife,” thought the astrologer.
The third replied:
“And this is a very generous wife,” thought the astrologer.
And what kind of wife do you think he chose?
He chose the most beautiful one!
So let's drink to the beautiful ladies present here, any of whom a wise astrologer would choose for himself!
March 8 everyone gives women bouquets of flowers, wonderful gifts, they say sweet words, make toasts. But... they still don’t fully understand them. Because it is incredibly difficult for men to understand women, and to understand them correctly! And, if you think about it, the horizontally positioned number “8” is a sign of infinity... And therefore on this day you need to drink to the infinity of understanding and misunderstanding between a man and a woman!
For this abyss that so... connects!
If a man is in love, he does not need other worries.
If a woman is in love, she begins to care about everything.
For the women who care about us!
For the charm of women, for their captivating smiles! So that the sparkle in their eyes does not disappear. And so that we have the most direct relation to this brilliance!
Our Russian woman should be given the palm among all women globe. She is lively and attractive, like a Frenchwoman, brave and energetic, like an Englishwoman, sweet and good-natured, like a German. But she also has something that other women do not have: a Russian woman is sacrificial, unselfish, generous of heart, resilient, and capable of overcoming great difficulties. She lives by the love of her family.
Let's raise our glasses in honor of priceless Russian women! Hooray!
Striptease is shown on TV. The mother, not wanting the children to watch the performance to the end, says: “Come on, quickly go to the nursery and go to bed! You see, the aunts are already undressing.”
For the resourcefulness of Russian women!
Cool toasts for March 8th: to colleagues and beloved women. It's a holiday, which means there will be festive table, champagne and of course toasts to the most beautiful and most beloved women.
* * *
Dear women! On this holiday, please accept our my sincere congratulations and words of gratitude for being you. A woman is priceless. She was given a high destiny on earth. She is a caring mother loving wife, keeper of the family hearth. She brings life, love and beauty to the world. She raises children, warms them with the love and care of men. Be always happy, our dears, loved and beautiful!
* * *
All the best and worst things in my life come from women. What else is there in life besides good and bad? So let's drink to the women who give joy, sadness and life itself!
* * *
The first flowers are fragile and delicate, growing from under the cold, biting snow... Not winter, not spring - early March. A woman is tender and fragile, but as strong as a flower in its quest for the sun... Not winter, not spring - the beginning of the WORLD! So let's drink to these delicate, fragile and so strong flowers! For our dear women!
* * *
The most sincere, most tender, warmest and heartfelt congratulations on the holiday of March 8th! May you have no sorrows, grievances, or worries today. All small and big dreams will come true. All problems will be solved as if suddenly, as if by chance. And if all this happens - well, at least a little, even just a little - it means it’s spring, it means it’s March. This means that miracles happen on your holiday. And may it always be so! And may your life be like a holiday! Happiness and health to you!
* * *
Every man feels the true measure of his worth, primarily thanks to a woman. But women are not only able to appreciate, they help men become who they should be and take their rightful place in life. As long as you are near us, dear women, as long as you love us, we are on horseback. We wish you youth, health, patience and love!
* * *
Dear women! I wish you a bright, wonderful holiday, a sea of flowers and smiles. Never lose the desire to please, be interesting and attractive, and may you always have enough time for this! I wish you the courage to remain feminine in our difficult times. May each of you have a caring, faithful hand to lean on. Be patient, know how to love, forgive and don’t lose hope!
* * *
For the women in whose shadow we feel so good!
* * *
Without women, the dawn and evening of life are helpless, and its noon is joyless. For women!
* * *
Women are flowers! And flowers are beautiful when they bloom. So let's drink to loose women!
* * *
It's not as good with women as it is bad without women. So let's drink to the women!
* * *
It has long been the custom that men rule the world. At the same time, men are controlled by women. So let's drink to those women who rule the world.
* * *
People say: “If you want to make the right decision, consult your wife and do the opposite.” I drink to our wives, who give us the opportunity to find the right solution in a difficult situation.
* * *
Let's drink to every woman having four animals: a lion in bed, a Jaguar in the garage, a mink on her shoulders, and that donkey who would pay for everything. But we wouldn’t belong to the latter category!
* * *
Female doctors drink until they lose their pulse. Women chemists drink until they lose reaction. Female mathematicians drink endlessly. So let's drink to the women physicists who drink until they lose resistance!
* * *
Let's drink to Article 107 of the Constitution! (The question usually follows: What is it about?) What's the difference? The main thing is that she is feminine!
* * *
When a woman crosses a puddle, she lifts her dress to her ankles; when she wades a river, she lifts it a little higher. So let's drink to the women who sail the oceans!!!
* * *
To love is like a queen,
To steal is like a million
And without the queen, why do we need him?!
* * *
Although it is not customary to talk about the ages of women and men, and this means that a woman is music itself, they say that women themselves distinguish seven ages: child, girl, girl, young woman, young woman, young woman, young woman. I am ready to drink a glass for eternally young and charming women!
* * *
We argue, drink, laugh, talk about the weather, fashion, balls, goals, and think: how sweet you are! Here's to lovely women!
* * *
The very first woman was Eve. The most beautiful was Cleopatra. The smartest is George Sand. Did you know this? Now forget it! Because the very first woman is the one who is nearby. The most beautiful is the one next to you. The smartest one is the one who is silent.
* * *
God created the women of India to be hardworking, the women of Africa to be passionate, the women of France to be piquant, the women of Germany to be economical, the women of America to be businesslike. And all these qualities are combined in our women! For our women!
* * *
Eastern wisdom says: “If you want to know the strength of steel, rub it on a whetstone; if you want to know the horse's strength, load it; if you want to know a man’s mind, listen to his speeches; If you want to understand the heart of a woman, you will never understand! This toast is to beautiful but incomprehensible women!
* * *
One day a man appeared to God and asked to create a woman for him to take as his wife. God took a little sunlight, the pensive moonlight, the slenderness of a chamois, the meekness of a dove, the beauty of a snow-white swan, the breath of a breeze, the lightness of fluff, and added the talkativeness of a magpie, the singing of a nightingale, streams of rain, the horrors of thunder and lightning. He mixed everything, and from this mixture a beautiful woman emerged. God breathed life into her and gave her to the man:
- Take it and suffer!
So let's drink to this wonderful mixture!
* * *
Vano is walking through the big desert. Suddenly Vano hears a terrible scream. Vano sees the entrance to a dark cave. Vano enters the cave. He walks and walks... Suddenly he sees: a Phoenix bird sitting with its bare backside on a hot frying pan and screaming. Vano asks:
- Listen, Phoenix bird, why are you sitting with your bare butt on a hot frying pan and yelling?
- Wow, Vano! If I hadn’t sat with my bare bottom on a hot frying pan and screamed, then who would have paid attention to me?
So let's drink to our women, who don't have to sit with their bare bottoms on a hot frying pan and scream just to get attention!
* * *
One day in one company they began to discuss who could be trusted more in business: men or women. One stated:
- I can argue with anyone that there is not a single woman in the world who could keep something secret.
One woman objected:
“I’ve been keeping one important secret for several years now. I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-six.
“Anyway, you’ll let it slip somehow,” her neighbor objected.
“I don’t think so,” she said with conviction, “if a woman could keep a secret for twelve years, she can keep it all her life.”
So let's drink to women who know how to keep their own and other people's secrets!
* * *
The Apostle Peter distributes the dead into heaven and hell. He lined up a hundred women and said:
- Anyone who has ever cheated on their husband, step forward!
Ninety-nine stepped forward.
- Oh, you scoundrels? All to hell! - and to the rest. - And deaf too!
So let's drink to women - to all without exception!
At the very beginning of spring we celebrate International Women's Day. Once upon a time it was founded by ladies trying to achieve equal rights for the weaker sex with men. Today, the holiday has almost completely lost its socio-political overtones and has turned into a celebration of femininity, tenderness, grace and beauty. On this day, young ladies no longer go out to the squares of large cities and do not put forward any demands to the government, but put on their best outfits, do chic hairstyles and makeup and accept congratulations and pleasant gifts from men, relatives, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.
In educational institutions, offices, institutions, organizations and enterprises, various special events. As a rule, they end with a feast, where better half of humanity, they raise their glasses and drink light and strong drinks to the dregs to the cheerful, comic, short toasts in honor of March 8th. In a perky, funny, humorous form, the ladies are wished all the blessings of life and asked to remain as kind, optimistic, joyful and understanding.
Cool, short toasts for March 8th in verse for women
International Women's Day is not complete without banquets, buffets and simply cozy gatherings over a glass of champagne, wine or stronger drinks, depending on the personal preferences of the event participants. Of course, at such a pleasant moment everyone wants to say a few things. good words hero of the occasion and please them with warm, kind, optimistic speeches and wishes. But not everyone at such a moment is able to masterfully put their thoughts into beautiful and vivid speech. In order not to feel awkward when choosing the right words, you should prepare for the feast in advance and memorize several cool, short toasts in honor of March 8th in verse. Funny, cheerful texts with a clear tact are perfectly perceived even by a slightly tipsy group and always evoke only the most pleasant emotions. A person who is able to remain calm at the right moment and deliver a humorous, memorable toast immediately attracts attention and almost automatically becomes the life of the party.
If people who know each other well have gathered around the table, you can take some liberties in terms of meaning and fill the toast with notes of frivolity and frivolous hints. When those present do not know each other too closely, it is better to limit yourself to simple, cheerful poems that do not contain ambiguous phrases that are understandable only to a limited circle of people. Otherwise, some guests will feel awkward and consider themselves unnecessary at this “celebration of life.”
For the fair half,
I'll have a glass today
I wish for every man,
May the world lay at her feet!
I wish that happiness reigns
And so that flowers for no reason,
Congratulations on March 8th,
May joy fill your days!
Happy International Women's Day,
Happy day of tenderness and beauty,
I'll drink to you, beautiful ones,
For your bright dreams!
For happiness, joy, for luck,
To always love you,
I wish everyone good mood,
And may your soul bloom!
For spring women's day,
I raise my glass
And I wish everyone well,
I wish you happiness and joy!
Funny toasts in prose on March 8 for ladies
Not only poetic, but also prosaic toasts in honor of March 8 can be cool, cheerful and funny. They are suitable for a company of any age and look as if the person is speaking them in his own words, as they say, coming up with bright, interesting and perky texts on the spot. And even if some phrases are slightly changed during the pronunciation process, absolutely no one will notice this and those present will think that the text was originally supposed to sound this way and not differently.
Well, I propose to drink a glass of champagne for the light and warmth that women bring into our lives and wish them never to face despondency, pain and loss. May there always be a place for love in your lives, and may you become more beautiful every year. Happy March 8, beloved ladies!
Apparently it is no coincidence that the most feminine day is celebrated in the spring. After all, nothing makes women even more beautiful than springtime. Here’s to you, beautiful halves of humanity!
Dear young ladies, our life becomes much more pleasant if it is illuminated by our smiles and dimmed by the tears we shed. So let's drink, on this Women's Day, so that the reasons for smiling will only multiply. Well, if tears appeared, they would only be from happiness. Happy March 8th, beautiful nymphs.
Toasts on March 8 to female colleagues with humor and cool wishes
A festive corporate party on the occasion of International Women's Day is considered an almost obligatory event in offices, enterprises and organizations. Some of them go to a restaurant with their whole team on this significant occasion, others set a festive table in one of the work rooms and raise their glasses to the “dear ladies” there. During the celebration, beautiful, pleasant toasts are heard in honor of March 8th. Women colleagues are congratulated on the spring holiday of beauty in a light, humorous manner and complement these good words cool, cheerful wishes. Unmarried ladies are encouraged to meet a prince with a bag of money; those who have already found their happiness are advised to take care of it and not to “nag” over trifles. Persistent women building a dizzying career are advised to remain calm, show restraint and not pay attention to competitors, and those who have already found themselves in high offices are asked to be loyal to their subordinates and forgive them some errors in behavior and discipline. In addition, we wish everyone, without exception, mutual love, female happiness, good luck, luck, everyday joys and financial well-being.
Our girls are beautiful,
Our company flowers,
Congratulations on March 8th,
And we wish you to shine like lights!
I raise my glass to you,
For the enchanting beauty,
I always wish you to bloom,
And I wish you to make your dream come true!
Not a single peacock will spread its tail if there are only males nearby. Likewise, male workers, without female companionship, do less impressive work. Let's drink to the lovely ladies who make our working day a little brighter and more eventful. For you, colleagues.
Our colleagues are wonderful,
You are the flowers of the team,
So cute, so beautiful,
All the men are at your feet!
I'll drink my glass to your happiness,
I will raise you for your joy,
May everything be wonderful for you,
I want to congratulate you on March 8th!
Comic toasts for March 8 from women
On the eve of March 8, beautiful, cheerful and humorous toasts to beautiful ladies are pronounced not only by men, but also by women themselves. In poetry and prose, they congratulate each other on the upcoming holiday, raise their glasses and wish their friends all the blessings in life that you can imagine. This list includes attentive, loving, generous men, obedient children, healthy parents, supportive bosses and other important components of the life of a modern woman.
Ladies ask each other to always be beautiful and delight those around them with radiant smiles, not to be upset over trifles and forgive offenders, not to deny yourself chocolates and cakes, but never gain weight, to look royal in the simplest, most unpretentious outfits and to inspire others to great deeds and wonderful deeds. Women put a lot of warmth and cordiality into these humorous words, and the melodic sound of the “clinking” glasses completes the ritual and gives a signal for all wishes to begin to come true, and not in the distant future, but as quickly as possible.
I want to congratulate you with all my heart
Happy International Women's Day!
Have some more fun
A gentle joke, but with fire!
I wish you in the sea of flowers
Can't find your bed.
With your loved one soon
You'll have until the morning to crush the flowers!
And the soul's path from pleasures
Yells like a skinny cat in March!
I wish you new sensations -
March 8th, all year round
On March 8th, all girls, women, grandmothers receive what they often lack - male attention. So let men never deprive us women of this. And then, for sure, we will always delight them with our happy smiles. For us, girls!
My dear girls! On this delightful spring holiday, I would like to wish you that you will always be in demand as women. So that you can find the one who will appreciate you not only for your merits, but also admire your shortcomings. May you always be loved and most importantly love in return. Remember that if a man wants to always be with you, he will find a way to do this in any situation! Happy holiday!
Beautiful, short toasts on March 8 for women in prose
When a large company gathers around the table on International Women's Day, absolutely everyone present wants to greet the beautiful ladies. Of course, in such a situation, long, lengthy speeches will be somewhat inappropriate, but short beautiful toasts in prose, glorifying women and the spring holiday of March 8 will come in handy more than ever. This will allow all guests to speak and will not distract society too much from the banquet and entertainment program.
I drink to women.
To languish in them
And tenderness, and reserves of courage,
So that without resistance, at their mercy
The tigers dormant within us have given up!
March 8 is the day when a woman feels like a woman and a man feels like a man. Let's drink so that this feeling does not leave us on the rest of the year!
***
May this day be happy
And everyone's dreams come true.
May the sun shine on you everywhere,
And the flowers smile.
