Straight Talk with a man “immediate yes” I had been carrying for a long time, visiting Gym, where Andrey Tkachev works, a famous fitness trainer and a typical alpha male. In order not to accidentally repeat the sad fate of the Dothraki leader, he is a convinced bachelor who, at 30 years old, has no plans to start a relationship. Talking about women, sex and love, Tkachev frankly spoke about what is wrong with our ladies and why many of them will forever remain the last number on the short list that every alpha male has.

Part One: Sex

KYKY: Look, it seems to me that if a man is an alpha male, he doesn’t care who he sleeps with. This is true?

Andrey Tkachev: Let's set the record straight right away. I am not a womanizer in the classical sense of the word. That is, there is no such thing that I am chasing quantity or one-time sex, I am absolutely not interested in this. Success in women is more likely to be caused by high testosterone levels, a sense of humor and self-confidence. And, of course, external signs: height, muscles, that’s all. Women feel this and therefore see me as a carrier of good genes and a good lover.

Cover photo: Alvaro Gomez Pidal

I recently saw a post where ladies were asked to list the qualities of their “ ideal man"". Women put kindness, caring, intelligence, generosity and other secondary things in first place. This amused me very much, because in their erotic fantasies they still imagine a rough, pumped-up barbarian. This is at the subconscious level. As for my preferences, I will say this, I don’t have any special criterion for appearance. Except for one thing - well-groomed. This is a health condition that is reflected in a girl’s figure, hair and skin. And so, blondes, brunettes, small, tall, pumped up or thin, breasts of the third size or zero - there is no specific type. There must be some kind of chemistry - it comes from within. It’s a look, a smell, when you find contact with a person, and everything matches. When you look at her, she looks at you and, like on Tinder, “It’s a match” flashes in your eyes.

KYKY: You see, girls have problems: if we give in on the first date, the man will lose respect.

Andrey: Of course, you don’t need to immediately give it to a person you’re seeing for the first time, but if you already know each other, have been communicating for some time, understand that you like each other, then don’t waste time. This is a story about the fact that you look at each other, you want each other, you understand that sooner or later this will happen - and what is the point of wasting time to observe these strange and ridiculous rituals?

There is a story that you look after someone for a month, and then you sleep and realize that you wasted your time. She is a log when it comes to sex. As a result, the question arises - what are these games for? To inflate your price so that you feel sorry for wasted time?

Yes, men are spoiled, there are a huge number of available beautiful girls around and not so many normal men. Supply significantly exceeds demand.

Therefore, girls, keep in mind that if you start to show off too much, then finding an alternative for you is not difficult. Every guy has his own shortlist.

KYKY: What's the shortlist?

Andrey: Well look, this is a list of girls with ratings. Roughly speaking, you want to go to the cinema with someone - you start going through the list. You call the first number on your list, if she doesn’t succeed, call the second and further. Moreover, places on the list can change quite quickly depending on the situation. For example, there are girls who love movies - movie buffs are at the top of the list. There are girls who are great to hang out with - spectacular fun, your way out. If you want animal sex, the list can again turn upside down. Cynically? Well, sorry, as it is.

KYKY: That is, if you call a girl at the last moment, then she is somewhere at the end of the list?

Andrey: There are, of course, different situations, but if a man tells you half an hour before the start of a movie show: “I have two tickets here, let’s go,” then this is definitely a reason to think about it.

KYKY: Does age affect the quality of sex?

Andrey: You know, now at 19-20 years old there are girls who will give a head start to 35-year-olds. Therefore, youth is always cool. Open borders and willingness to experiment. This is pressure, passion. On the other hand, more experienced women clearly know what they want, there is no need for long foreplay and courtship with them, and there is always something to talk about.

KYKY: By appearance Is it possible to determine how temperamental a girl is in sex?

Andrey: Yes. These are some movements, plasticity, gait, voice, charisma. When a girl has internal energy, it is logical that she is also temperamental in sex.

KYKY: Oh, and I like languid girls so much, it seems that this is such sex - all this mannerism. In contrast to sudden movements and excessive expression.

Andrey: It happens when girls are playing and it is very visible when they are trying to appear sexy. But in fact, they are simply hiding complexes. The more complexes you have, the less relaxed you will be in bed. As a fitness trainer, I hear from 80 percent of girls that in my presence they have complexes about their figure. Like, I’m not perfect and I’m embarrassed to undress in front of you. They don’t understand that I’ve already scanned everything, and if we started, then I’m happy with everything. Worrying about an extra fold on your stomach is a useless exercise, and worrying that you will look unattractive in some position is stupid.

KYKY: What is more important in sex: technique or temperament?

Andrey: You know, technique can be taught, but you either have temperament or you don’t. Having sex is technical, but soulless - excuse me. I had a girl, after whom all others seemed just logs. She was passionate, knew 80 oral sex techniques and did things that are only half shown in porn. To be honest, you become addicted to a girl like this, like a drug.

Passion is a 100% hit. Alas, complexes prevent our girls from being passionate. And, what’s strange, than prettier girl, the more complexes she has. This is what surprises and amazes me most.

A fat woman or a gray mouse feels like a queen and is relaxed in bed, while a beauty with a killer figure, as a rule, is terribly worried about her appearance.

Honestly, I don't understand this. And the funniest or most offensive thing is that the girls came up with these complexes for themselves out of the blue. And, yes, it's annoying. They engage in self-deprecation, hate themselves, lower the bar very much and end up dating assholes. To be honest, I feel very sorry for them. But here social pressure comes into play. This strongly imposed principle - be perfect or die. Everything goes from there.

KYKY: Do you remember Beigbeder’s story “Love Lives for Three Years”, then everything fades away. Do you believe that you can live in marriage for 20-30 years and during these years love each other and have just as great sex?

Andrey: This is possible if there is constant development in the pair. In any case, some experiments, variety, and sex toys are needed. Or, for example, have a threesome. For some reason, couples often write to me who want to diversify their relationship in this way. sex life. They can write: “Listen, you don’t want my wife”? And everyone is happy with everything. Normal practice in family life for those who want to save relationships.

Part two: What's wrong with women

KYKY: Do you like it when a woman wears a lot of makeup?

Andrey: No, this is a hoax. You look, here she is alone, then she washes off her makeup - and she’s completely different. If a girl is confident in herself, she won’t put on a ton of decorative makeup.

KYKY: What stops girls from being cool?

Andrey: Women love to get hurt. Example: it will be classic good guy, but no, she will definitely find some asshole and suffer for him. Masochism. In this case, the good guys don't stand a chance and have to become bad. No other way. You don't need to be dependent on someone. As often happens, girls become so attached to a man that they do not notice how the relationship has reached a dead end. The vast majority lack self-esteem. I found out that the guy was a bastard, got up and left. There is no need to try to change anything, they don’t change.

Another problem is the fear of loneliness. They will date an idiot just to be in a relationship. This is a message to society: everything is fine with me. One friend tells me that she wants to get married, and she is already looking for a future husband. This is not a story about how she met her boyfriend and they fell in love, but about the fact that she needs marriage as a social status. With whom? Not the point. They adjust men to their criteria, turning a blind eye to shortcomings, not understanding: this is a dead end.

KYKY: How to understand that a man really likes you? Let's dispel the myth that if a man doesn't try to get a girl into bed, then he doesn't like her.

Andrey: Look. Flirting happens out of politeness. When you respond to a girl's signs of sympathy, but only out of respect. If a man does not take any concrete steps, then this means that you have not hooked him. In fact, it’s easy to understand whether you really like you or everything is hopeless. My favorite expression: you take five steps towards you and wait - if the person takes reciprocal steps, then everything is cool. If not, turn around and leave. All. There is no need to invent anything and plunge into another illusory story. You have to respect yourself. It’s normal to understand that you won’t like everyone. Don't make any tragedy out of this. There is no need to waste time on those people who do not take steps towards you.

KYKY: What annoys you about girls?

Andrey: Smokers. It definitely infuriates me, and if I like a girl who smokes, I will force her to quit this habit. Smoking affects your appearance, and it’s simply unpleasant to kiss a smoker. This also includes alcohol abuse. When a girl cannot relax without a glass, then, you need to face the truth, this is already alcoholism.

Narrow worldview. People who are not interested in what is happening around them do not want to develop and are not able to think critically. Perhaps not immediately, but over time it causes rejection.

You know, I sometimes like to provoke or test girls. I put her in an awkward situation and see how she reacts, how she behaves. These may be awkward questions or requests in the wrong place. For example, when you are in a bar with me, take off your panties. Or organize some kind of extreme vacation. Take yourself out of your comfort zone and see what comes of it. Some people freak out, get offended, and behave inappropriately. In this way, the boundaries are indicated beyond which she is capable of going or absolutely not. I’m already drawing my own conclusions about how many points of contact we have.

Part Three: The Ideal Girl for an Alpha Male

KYKY: Would you like to meet a girl who combines all the qualities and build a long-term relationship - your ideal?

Andrey: Look, I'm not looking for comfort. Comfort is exactly what you need to avoid. I see a lot of examples around me where people just live together, have sex, sometimes get married, have children because they feel comfortable. But at the same time, they don’t love each other, they don’t have this passion, they don’t have fire. They just somehow met, somehow slept together, somehow got used to each other and somehow lived together for ten years.

I don't want it that way.

At the moment I am not looking for anyone, I am thirty years old, and I am absolutely self-sufficient. I tell the girls I sleep with right away that it’s only sex and no relationship. I don't want to give any reason for illusions. Everything is transparent: if you want to sleep, the door is open, if you want some rights and relationships - sorry, not to me. If I meet someone with whom everything will be on fire, we will always be interesting to each other, why not? I haven't met anyone like that yet.

KYKY: Girls, it turns out, are satisfied with sex without obligations? Is this a moment of weakness and do they agree to any of your conditions just to be close to you, or do they just really not bother with the relationship?

Andrey: In fact, there are a lot of girls who also only need sex, and everything is fine in their lives without relationships.

KYKY: I feel notes of romanticism in your speeches...

Andrey: No. I'm not at all romantic. I rarely give compliments, don’t give flowers, and don’t bullshit people. I believe, that best compliment- this is a desire. I won’t pour all sorts of words into my ears, it seems to me that this is hypocrisy.

I will not tell her that she is beautiful and other sentimental compliments. If I am nearby, then she is already beautiful to me.

Better than any words - a kiss. And this is how most men think. And the girls are all waiting for some enchanting romantic nonsense, when the indicator of interest is the fact that I am next to you, what other compliments do you need?

KYKY: What catches you at first sight when you meet?

Andrey: Honesty and openness appeal. When a girl doesn’t play hard to get, even though it’s obvious that we both want each other.

KYKY: How to be the perfect girl? The one that can really hook you and destroy all the shortlists?

Andrey: These are all intangible things really. These are always emotions and it is impossible to fit them into any framework or fit them into a certain formula. You don't need to do anything special. Just like relying solely on appearance. Character is much more important. I am impressed by such a quality as self-irony. The ability to laugh at yourself and subtly tease someone.

Now, alas, most girls strive to be the same rather than different. They are afraid to be special. They don’t want to stand out; it’s much easier to be in the herd. Because by standing out, you attract attention. There are few who are able to withstand criticism, society with its pathetic attempts to fit you into its little world, which ultimately dumps a ton of crap on you. Not everyone can handle it. And it's boring. They follow fashion, refining themselves to a certain standard ideal of beauty, behavior, and thinking.

They actually fall in love with their flaws. If you are ideal, you can easily be replaced by someone equally ideal.

When you have some characteristics and shortcomings, it is no longer possible to find another person with the same set of shortcomings - and that’s the whole thrill. They love for their flaws, not for their virtues. A person may not meet the criteria that you came up with in your head, but there is electricity between you - and that’s it, you’re in.

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The fair sex is difficult to understand. Some girls hide their feelings under a mask of indifference, while others confess their love because of commercialism, although they do not feel anything. Secret signs that a girl really loves you.

Everyone wants to find love, but how to recognize it and will it be real? Modest girls love to be mysterious and hide their love from a man, although they have already fallen in love for a long time. And mercantile girls admit their feelings, although they do not love, but are simply looking for a profitable match. How to understand whether a girl truly loves you or not?

1. A girl loves if there are no secrets for her

The girl asks a lot of questions and wants to know absolutely everything. What is your favorite band, the amount of sugar in coffee, what was your name as a child, what are you doing tomorrow and do you like fishing? If a girl is interested in all this, then you are the most important part in her life. The girl also tells everything about herself. All women's secrets, dreams, doubts and emotions. It's like love.

2. A girl loves it if she clings to you

The girl cannot resist receiving a bit of tenderness from you and giving hers in return. Girlfriend loves to walk hand in hand, hug, kiss, fool around and touch 1000 different ways. She happily jumps into bed and takes off her panties as soon as you call, and does not try to sell sex in exchange for goodies.

3. A girl loves if she is jealous

When some woman appears next to her man, the girl begins to be jealous. This does not mean that she rushes to pull out her hair by the roots. The girl is rather a little agitated and dissatisfied. Jealous means he loves.

4. A girl loves if she gives all her time

The girl wants to date as often as possible, and does not have one or two regular dates a week. She rearranges her schedule and is freed from work if a man invites her to go for a walk. In her organizer, you are a priority.

5. A girl loves it if she is attentive to details

A friend gives cards, sends ridiculous messages, arranges surprises, sings songs to you, writes notes, helps you with various matters and cares. A girl truly loves if she is attentive to the little things.

6. A girl loves it if she gives compliments

Does the girl praise and compliment you with enviable regularity? She really likes you, and she is your biggest fan. That's why she likes your new jacket, your ability to play the guitar, your hairstyle and everything else.

7. A girl loves if she “sees” only you

You can be in a crowd, but be just the two of you. A girl loves it if she focuses all her attention on you, and does not wander her eyes out of boredom or curiosity.

8. A girl loves it if she wants to get to know your surroundings

The girl wants to get to know your immediate circle: friends and relatives. She makes an effort to please and seeks approval. Besides, she introduced you to her friends, and maybe even her family.

9. A girl loves it if her body says so.

Body language is very difficult to hide and difficult to control. The girl shows with her whole body that she adores and loves you. She runs to the meeting as soon as she sees you. Her eyes are burning, her face is shining, and the smile does not leave her face. When a girl loves, she shines when her man is nearby.

10. A girl loves it if she says it spontaneously

A loving person cannot hold back words of love in some pleasant moments and surges of tenderness. The girl confesses her love spontaneously, confused in her words and worried. This is definitely love.

Do these 10 signs match yours? The girl definitely loves you...

Each of us has a desire for ideal in our blood, and we strive to achieve it in everything: in our personal lives, in the sphere. Also, when choosing ours, we look for the ideal. It seems to everyone that having found the highest goal in their life, it will become easier and simpler. But no one asked the question about

Probably every representative of the fair sex from the very early childhood We strive to be perfect. And most often this is done only to please a member of the opposite sex. But everyone knows that there is no universal criterion of ideality. How many people - so many opinions. If for one guy this is the height of perfection, then in the eyes of another it will not be such. From this we can conclude that the concept of “Ideal girl” is very subjective. If one guy likes a thin, slender brunette, then his friend, quite likely, has a desire to quickly feed her so that she gets better. In this world everything is relative. Also, do not forget about how old your betrothed is, where he studied, was born, and was raised. After all, this is why they say: “What is good for a German is death for a Russian...”. But still, what is the ideal girl like in the minds of a modern guy?

Criterias of choice ideal girl

1 criterion. Age. Most likely, this female representative has already graduated from university, and she is approximately 23-27. It is believed that at this age a girl is already independent and ready to make a thoughtful and important decision. Of course, relationships with younger girls are also possible, but most often they do not promise marriage, since such a girl has not yet lost the desire to “hang out”; she can easily be carried away by a new company or party. In addition, if she has not yet turned 18, then it is quite possible that she will be charged with “corruption of minors.” And this is definitely not the limit of dreams.

2 criterion. Education. In the guys' understanding, she should have a higher education. But, unfortunately, in our modern society, this is not available to everyone. In addition, you can be intellectual and educated without the treasured “red crust”. In this case, the most important thing is how you use your knowledge and your abilities. But we should not forget that men are of the opinion that a woman should not be smarter than themselves. From here we can conclude: the ideal girl for a guy is not just smart and educated, but also wise.

3 criterion. Appearance. Well, that goes without saying. An ideal girl simply must be beautiful, but her beauty must be natural. “War paint” does not attract a man, but rather scares him. After all, high-quality and correctly done makeup can completely change your face. Back in ancient times in Rus', people chose their betrothed near the bathhouse, because only there you can see the real face of a woman - without makeup. Also, one of the main conditions for a man is to look stronger than his chosen one. Therefore, beauties should not abuse heels. There are no problems with hair color either. Do men like blondes? Yes Easy. I went to the store and took the paint I needed.

4 criterion. Behavior. It has long been no longer a secret that absolutely every man wants his chosen one to treat him with respect, understand him, and admire him. And a man just needs to feel significant. He should take part in absolutely all issues related to everyday life, family, and your relationships. The ideal girl should understand all this, and under no circumstances hurt her betrothed. Also, alcohol, cigarettes and nightclubs do not fit into the concept of ideal.

5 criterion. Femininity. Every man wants the girl next to him to be well-groomed, neat, gentle and feminine. After all, he is looking for his beloved, and not a friend with whom he can drink beer in the evening. It is important to maintain femininity in any situation.

And the most important and basic criterion is Love. If a guy loves you, then you are beautiful to him with all the disadvantages and shortcomings. And if you are loved, that means you are ideal, and you should move through life with your head held high. It is about you that your loved one should say: “I feel good with her and I’m happy with her!”

1. Since you met, you haven’t thought any worse about yourself.

2. If she answers that everything is fine, you can believe it, and not wait for passive-aggressive attacks and hysterics out of the blue.

3. She knows how to sleep with just half a blanket. And if he doesn’t know how, he goes and buys a second one without unnecessary reflection.

4. She doesn’t say that she’s bored (from female to human this translates as “urgently get your ass off the couch and figure out how to entertain me!”), but enrolls in a combat hopak club, goes to study the 12th in a row foreign language or develops a plan for your trip to the hills of Manchuria.

5. Doctors shrug their shoulders in bewilderment, but she is allergic to fur, diamonds and tropical climate.

6. She is able to say: “Well, to hell with it!” if it suddenly turns out that you forgot to buy milk and half a black one / didn’t get a promotion / threw it in washing machine, where she already had her white cashmere sweater, her formal red socks and turned on the “super turbo” mode.

7. She cooks in such a way that her cooking does not cause heartburn in you or your friends.

8. She always has a stash. And, having found the shoes of your dreams in the store, she doesn’t call you with a pitiful: “Puuuusik, they’re so luxurious…”, but simply takes them and buys them. And then in the evening, in order to restore the balance of justice, he says: “Listen, since we don’t have enough for plasma anyway, let’s at least buy you a Play Station.”

9. She loves and.

10. She actually thinks that if you're drunk, you're funny and charming. And he knows the recipe for the right hangover soup.

11. She doesn't get fat from birth control pills and sincerely does not understand why.

12. At her mother’s dacha, the roof never leaks and the septic tank never breaks down.

13. Her exes are not registered on any social network.

14. She was herself beautiful girl in 11th grade and can still squeeze into her prom dress.

15. She is not irritated by the smell of fumes and the sound of snoring.

16. If necessary, she can carry on a conversation about football, carburetors and securities transactions. Or maybe keep quiet.

17. She knows how to negotiate with traffic cops, plumbers and a violent neighbor from the 3rd floor.

18. She is interested in your mother’s opinion and recipe for kulebyaki dough not out of politeness, but because she really believes that your parent is wise and a good cook.

19. She doesn’t tell her mom and friends anything incriminating about you.

20. You only find out that her relatives from Sakhalin came to the city when you open the refrigerator and find a jar of red caviar there. Because she herself meets them at the airport, checks them into a hotel, and takes them on an excursion to Red Square and Starbucks.

21. You have no idea if she is on a diet.

22. She respects your collection of beer glasses, comic books and bladed weapons from the Renaissance.

23. She doesn’t see a problem in giving herself a manicure, pedicure, hair removal, styling and pumping her butt to YouTube videos.

24. Not only she herself, but you also think that she is a virtuoso.

25. She has never brought you to such a point of despair that you decided to write in the “For advice” section.

By the way: in the comments you can and should brag about how many points your friend scored.