As I write this story, I understand that I may cause a storm of negative emotions among girls. I met Igor 5 years ago. Of course, I liked him right away, it would be a shame not to fall in love with such a handsome man. He is 7 years older than me, wealthy, with a wonderful sense of humor. We communicated well, had long intimate conversations, saw each other every day, went to the cinema - in general, a beautiful bouquet and candy period. He avoided giving a direct answer to all questions about his family, saying that he was married and no longer lived with his wife. I sincerely believed him and did not pay attention to his strange reaction. After 4 months, my beloved admitted to me that he was married and lives with his wife, and in addition, the child is already 11 years old. At that moment I needed to turn around and leave him, but I couldn’t... I fell in love without memory and forgave everything. We dated for another three years, during which there was everything: hysterics, tears, reproaches, resentments, burning jealousy and countless evenings and holidays spent alone. Two years ago, Igor moved with his family to another country. I was left alone and, despite the fact that we no longer communicate, I still remember him. Unfortunately, it’s not possible to build new relationships.
Girls, maybe my hard-earned advice will be useful to someone! If a married man starts courting you, run away from him immediately, without looking back!

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Yes, you are describing the standard behavior of men. At first he says that he is divorced. Then he admits that he is married, but this is a formality. They have been living on their own for a long time and do not sleep together. And then he usually ends up with a pregnant wife.

Why do you regret your affair with a man, even a married one? And you had a wonderful relationship, a beautiful bouquet and candy period, love. Many women live their lives without ever knowing the true feeling of love. And you are lucky in this regard. So mentally thank your man for those happy moments in life that you experienced together and let him go. Life goes on. You will see that you will certainly have a free man in your life with whom you will connect your life. The main thing is to sincerely believe in it and not look back. When the door closes, the window certainly opens and a fresh wind blows.

You will definitely succeed. You just had to leave right away, you were like a mistress for him, he understood this very well, you were a moral and physical joy for him that didn’t bother him. Always think a couple steps ahead. You are a woman, and women should feel this.

Good advice, I also made it a rule not to date married men, at least one person suffers from these relationships - the wife, worse when there is also a child. Everything in life comes back to us and therefore there is no need to hurt others. Remember this! And living in a lie is the worst feeling.

Why did you date only one man, it was clear that he would not abandon his family. Therefore, do the same, get several men. Try to choose someone who is promising. If there is no such thing, change it to another. Having an affair is not a problem. The subsequent relationship is not very easy.

There are so many stories like this about married men, and yet every time we are women, instead of leaving at the right moment, we stay, forgive, and these relationships become torment, like a suitcase without a handle, you can’t throw it away and it’s impossible to carry it. It’s good if you learn from your mistakes, but others are unlikely to learn a lesson because every time you think, “I’m special and this won’t happen to me.”

We need to be more demanding of men and not put beauty and wealth in first place! You had a sense of humor, so he lied jokingly, it’s a pity that you forgave the treacherous lie. And he lied deliberately: if they had known that he was married, they would not have contacted him. And it’s good that he left, spit and grind!

Your story is not new and many women find themselves in similar situations. But judging by the fact that you still remember that man and are not building new relationships, you haven’t learned a lesson from her. Now you don’t need to live in the past and think about how you were offended, but look for a free man for the future.

First, your handsome hero deceived you, and then you, together with him, deceived his wife and at the same time each other. Men, for the most part, are polygamous creatures, and arguing with nature is stupid and pointless. To his credit, it will be said that he did not abandon his family, but there was no smell of honor there. It is to your honor that you did not break up his family or failed, and that you drew the correct conclusions from your story. If a married man is courting you, run not to him, but from him. This means that everything is still ahead of you: love, family, and happiness.

As they say, history only teaches that it teaches nothing. It’s even surprising - after all, nowadays it’s easier than ever to get basic information about the statistics of any relationship. And statistics show that if a married man has been dating another woman for more than three months and has not left his wife, then he will not leave her. So, in my opinion (and the opinion of statistics), if you are dating a married man, then plan for no more than three to four months, and then either leave him with peace of mind or get ready for the wedding.

As you understand, for a man family comes first. Therefore, he would not have left his wife, and everything he told you had one goal. You should forget this man and start living for yourself. At least to spite him, don’t ruin your life!

The story is tough. And it’s not even about the girl, he deceived her in the beginning! It would be better if married men immediately told the truth - they want adventures, then the girls would decide for themselves whether they want it or not. The big risk in such a story is being left with nothing, and then having to pay for your sins later. So the author, it’s good that he left! Don’t go in cycles, and look for a person who will love only you, and not 2 or 5 women at the same time. Everything will be fine!

It’s easy to judge, I admit, and I immediately wanted to say that this is what you need, since I myself was a victim. But on the other hand, you were also deceived... Therefore, you just have to accept this unpleasant experience and... live on, without losing faith that something very good will definitely happen to you.

My dear, my good girls, how easy it is to give advice with a cold heart and a sober head. Would you have the willpower to give up the man you love? I didn't have enough. Also married, also with a child... But I couldn’t breathe without him. And it’s not at all about a sense of humor or wealth, there was a sense of courage and strength in him that pulled me like a magnet (I’m sure AnnSanny had the same thing). True, there was a wedding in our history, and now we are raising two children together. And I want to give maternal advice (even though we are the same age) to everyone who reads us. I’m saving it for my daughter, God forbid that she doesn’t need it.
Even if a married man leaves his wife for you, this does not mean that this is your paradise. Hysterics, tears, jealousy, scandals do not stop, but happen perhaps even more often than they did only for other reasons. His divorce will not heal your wounds. You will have to share this man for the rest of his life with his first family. He will never be yours completely. Ask yourself, are you ready for this? His first wife and child will always be in his thoughts. It hurts, but you are powerless. We still need to learn to live with this.

The Internet is replete with such stories, but in life there are many times more of them, because not everyone will dare to tell about it publicly. And there will probably never be fewer of them. While we women believe, wait and love. Author, good advice, but most likely you said it to yourself more than once... only your legs didn’t run. Anna, what happened is what happened, time and you shouldn’t regret the past. Just go ahead! You will certainly find your unmarried happiness! good luck to you!

Your story is quite banal and, oddly enough, very common in modern society. I admit, I myself managed to get myself into a similar swamp, and somewhat longer than five years. Without the help of psychologists (albeit only via the Internet, I couldn’t decide to row in person) it would not have been possible to row out. I re-read a lot of live stories and forums, I was horrified at how similar they all are to each other... It's really scary. And when women try to end these hopeless novels, men are very much against it, which is why it all drags on for a very long time. I will say that you are really lucky that he left. Forget him like bad dream, consider that you were just sick, and now there is a new free and wonderful life ahead.

This is how it always turns out, this is our problem, we do not notice simple ordinary guys who are ready to do anything for the sake of our love, but we are carried away by someone forbidden like you. I, too, got burned several times, I see that he is a fool and even married, but I can’t help myself - I’m drawn to him like a magnet.

If a married man is looking for a relationship on the side, then this is a weak man. If you took your soul mate as your wife, then in theory you no longer need anyone, and she should suit you in everything. I was lucky with my soulmate, I met her and I don’t need anyone else, and we have a wonderful daughter.

Girls, I seem to have matured and am ready to tell my love story with a married man! I’ll say right away, I don’t expect sympathy, and I don’t need it! Just maybe my story will make those girls who are in love with married people think! And so let's get started!
I drew attention to the man, and he attracted me with his eyes, sad, sad, even when he smiles! Then I met him when I was doing my internship! We met in our store and exchanged phone numbers! He didn’t call, neither did I, so occasionally they sent text messages to each other! When I went for a walk with my girlfriend, I often met him; he works part-time in a taxi! Stopped and chatted! From this short conversation I learned that he is married, although it is a civil marriage, but they have been living together for 8 years! He cheats on his wife all the time, fortunately his work allows him, he is the first to not call girls, they fall for him (by the way, he is very handsome, courteous, has an awesome character, in general a dream), and at the end of the conversation he always added “call!” Of course I didn't call! And then somehow, while going for a walk with my friend again, we meet him! We are talking about something and he decides to finish his work and chat with us! We took a martini, and away we go! Our conversation with him reached the point where we decide to be together, he because he doesn’t sleep with his wife, and I, because I don’t have time to seriously date a guy, study, work, in short, not the best time to create serious relationship! He was very afraid that I would fall in love with him, and I laughed in his face, then I put up a wall so as not to fall in love! Everything was wonderful, he himself called more than once, wrote SMS! We saw each other every day and found out that we had a lot in common, even hobbies! After a while he confesses his love to me! I’m shocked, but I didn’t answer him anything! After a while I reveal my feelings to him! How amazing everything was! Flowers, meetings from work, walked around the night center, he wrote poems for me, connected ICQ and an agent, just to be constantly in touch with me! We made plans for the future, we wanted to get married! He told everyone at his work about me that he had finally found his other half! But we decided to wait life together , I still need to study, and he has a 13-year-old daughter (not his own, by the way, but he has been raising her since she was 3 years old), she is in transition, you never know how his departure could affect her! As for his wife, he told me that she would understand, because they are mostly friends, she is a smart woman and he thought she was aware of all his infidelities, she was just keeping quiet! But...One fine day, while he was sleeping, his wife took his phone (which she had never done before), read our SMS, and saw my photos! He didn't delete it all! They had a conversation, after which he came to me. He told me everything, asked if I was ready, because everything happened ahead of time, I answered ready! His wife didn’t pack his things, so he was there for now! The next day, the wife, taking the child with her, left for the village! She returned alone, the child remained in the village! My darling and I are doing great, but after a while my wife tells him that you haven’t noticed that your daughter has stopped calling you and only calls me! He calls his daughter himself and she told him that if he leaves his mother, his daughter will hate him! This decided everything, he came to me, explained everything, we parted ways! They both cried, even he! Only God knows what I experienced at that moment! A week later he shows up to set up a program for me on my computer, I behave like a friend, smile, joke! He can’t stand it, hugs me, starts kissing me, says he can’t live without me, loves me very much! We decide to be together, but secretly! After a while, the wife finds out again! He and I are breaking up again! We didn’t communicate with him for a month at all! Then communication resumed, we decide to be just lovers! He immediately said that he would not leave the family, that I would not hear words of love from him! And yet he kept his word! We were just like friends, but sometimes we had sex! And before the New Year, I find out that I’m pregnant, I tell him... I was stunned by the reaction, he told me to have an abortion, and that if I give birth, I’m a complete fool and have no complaints against him, and if there are, then he he doesn’t know anything, he broke up with me 3 months ago and his wife is pregnant! I thought it over and agreed to an abortion, but only the one with pills! This procedure costs 6 thousand, he paid for it, it is done in two times! And when I had to go a second time, he called and said that he couldn’t take me, so I should take a taxi, he took my wife to the hospital! But then he came to the hospital himself! We lost our child and his wife on the same day, I had an abortion, and she had a miscarriage! After all this, I just didn’t want to know him! But it lasted me for two weeks, my feelings overpowered me! We are starting to communicate again (some will say that I have no pride, perhaps, but people who love me will understand me very much)! Communication is communication, but I have already begun to think about my personal life! I went to a bar with my sister and potential dates! So we’re sitting in the bar, and this ex of mine shows up! Questions began, jealousy, all sorts of incomprehensible messages! I already came home, and this one still couldn’t calm down, and then he wrote that he loved me! He also called one day and played our songs, the ones we loved when we were together! He didn't say anything, he just turned them on and I listened! Now we are still in contact, he takes me to work (we work at the same enterprise)!
I outlined the whole story so briefly, I didn’t write much!
I don’t believe in his love, my opinion is that he just feels guilty and is trying to make amends! Often asks for forgiveness, I say that I have forgiven! But this is not so, there is still a residue in my soul!
I forced myself to look at all this from the other side, from the side of my head, so to speak, from the side of his actions, and not from the side of my feelings and heart! But I really want to believe in the sincerity of his words! It was difficult, but I did it! Although not completely, I am still jealous of him, the feelings remain!
Dear girls, don’t get caught in these snares! Whatever they tell you, value real actions, not words and promises! For them, the wife comes first; they will not want to change what is established, constancy, for a new way of life! I don’t speak for all married men, there are those who will leave their wife, but such cases are a negligible percentage, so is it worth wasting your love, strength, nerves and even health on the fact that your married man will be one of that negligible percentage? !
It’s hard for me to find a suitable M.H., because... I like men aged 30-40, and at that age they are usually already married! But...now I really like a man from my work, he is 33 and divorced! And you know, when he accidentally touched me with his elbow, I felt like an electric shock, but that’s another topic...
Happiness to you girls, the most feminine happiness!
Thank you for your attention!

Lilia (27 years old):

I turned 23 when I met Vadim. 36-year-old, charming, determined and even daring, in general a real man in my understanding. In my opinion, he had only one drawback - a wife and two children. True, this didn’t bother me at all, because I didn’t demand anything in return except his feelings. Vadim seems to have loved me too, because there was a moment when he told his wife everything about our connection. I remember her calls to me, in which the woman said in a sorrowful voice that “she does not condemn me, and we all walk under God.” And her words “when you get married, you will understand everything yourself” are firmly lodged in my head.

A year later, Vadim and I broke up, Apparently my love had passed, and on his part there was no longer that passion. Two years later I got married. Gleb, it seems, loved me more than life itself, at least I have never met such a courteous and courteous man in my life. Our wedding was simply amazing, with a dizzying romantic journey. And upon returning home, discouraging news awaited me - Gleb has a girlfriend who is five months pregnant. From now on all mine happy life went to hell. The marriage lasted literally another month. And what helped me survive all the hardships was the thought that this was retribution for my sins...

Veronica (28 years old):

I met, as it seemed to me then, my destiny at 24 years old. At that time he was already 41. I can’t even explain what connected us - I’m hot and eccentric, and he’s dry and practical, and even seems boring. Although my feelings for him were sincere, I was head over heels in love. Moreover, Alexander was a quite wealthy man and intuitively guessed my desires, buying me expensive gifts and inviting you to relax in Greece. From the first day I knew that my beloved was married, but at the same time I consoled myself with the fact that husbands do not cheat on good wives.

After a year of our whirlwind romance, Alexander seemed to have been replaced. He became rude to me and seemed to do everything to make me propose to break up. It’s difficult to convey everything that I experienced, because I sincerely believed that this man loved me. I was depressed for a month, and he simply disappeared from my life without explanation. One morning, after another night spent in tears, I seemed to see the light - that I was young, beautiful, and killing myself over a forty-year-old man, and especially a family one! Only then did I realize what a humiliating position I had been in all this time. My mother took me to church, I confessed and I really felt better.

The most amazing thing is that three months later Alexander knocked on my door , dressed to the nines with a bouquet of flowers, an apology and a statement that he wants a child from me! However, by this time I had already completely freed myself from this dope and my once beloved “married man” was kicked out the door without a drop of regret.

Alina (30 years old):

Today I remember my relationship with Roland with pain and longing. By the time we met, I had already been married for 10 years and we had a wonderful son. With my husband, however, there was no longer that passion in the relationship - an ordinary philistine life. Roland was also married for more than six years, although he had no children and, as he admitted, he never loved his wife.

The year we met, we were perhaps the happiest people on earth. He was a tireless lover and an amazingly pleasant conversationalist, this is exactly what I have dreamed of all my life. We dreamed of a happy future together, although all this was not destined to come true.

Everything collapsed in an instant when his wife found out about our relationship. I can imagine the situation Roland found himself in because his wife began to blackmail him by saying that she would commit suicide if he left her, she rushed at him with a knife, and in general behaved extremely aggressively. He nevertheless filed for divorce and even rented a separate apartment, but she pestered him with calls on his mobile and kept watch near the apartment. His divorce was a nightmare for me too. Roland suggested that we not meet for a while until he resolved all his troubles, but a month later he called and began to explain that it was better for us not to be together, that if everything continues, we will ruin the lives of two more people - my husband and son.

Since then, Roland and I have practically stopped communicating. And after this relationship my life seemed to end. It is in vain that they say that time heals - everyone lies, time only dulls the pain.

You are interested in other articles about the relationship between a man and a woman, such as:

How I dated a married man. Real stories.

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- Lord, who can you trust in our world? - Darling, only trust me... I will never leave you and will do everything for the sake of our happiness.

End of story: Cool kisses from my personal diary. I correctly dubbed D. Napoleon, moving from one battlefield to another. I got into this

From the series: real stories from the girls' personal diary. I once had a strange dream: two guys made a bet that one of them would sleep with me.

I don't even know where to start...
I'll try to start with the most important thing.
I love married man , without surprising you with anything new. I'm no longer a girl, but I'm far from old.
My name is Rose. I am forty one years old.
In my life, I’m used to putting everything on the line and weighing every step I take. This is how my mother raised me and my strict father told me.
I had an arranged marriage when I was twenty-seven years old. I didn't love my first husband, but I needed him. This, you know, is a very common formulation of calculating women: not to love, but to feel sorry or get comfortable.

My first husband, on the contrary, loved me and did everything that befits a breadwinner. He worked two shifts, stocked the refrigerator with food and provided for me from head to toe. God did not send us children.
Andrei died suddenly five years ago at a complex production facility...
I didn’t love my first husband, but after he left I suddenly understood what it meant to be for real beloved. This is worth living for.
For the first three years after my husband's death, I worked like a tractor to cope with personal grief as quickly as possible.
I'll tell you a very important thing!
Living next to a seemingly unloved person, brushing aside his pestering attention, you will begin to understand what you have lost only after he is no longer around.
I'll tell you more...
You will begin to love him. It’s just not possible to talk about it anymore.
I met Maxim at new job: He worked in the next department.
We practically didn’t communicate, but that’s not the point.
First of all, he was (and is) a stranger. I understood this well. But this is not the most important thing.
Maxim is very similar to Andrey in both character and appearance.
This is a prudent worker who plows tirelessly......
But his wife is the spitting image of me, who once lived behind Andrey. Only she has not yet understood what it is to live alone.
There are a lot of single men around, but I love a married man. Just like in the song.
I quit my job and moved to another, hoping that I could forget Maxim. But he still does not go away from memory.
I don’t know what to do next and ask for “help from the audience.”
I am sure that he is unhappy with his legal wife, and she, just like I once did with Andrei, does not appreciate his efforts.
But, as you know, you can’t order your heart.
You can't build happiness on someone else's misfortune. It's a vicious circle. I'm completely confused.

This is the letter I received in my email inbox. Rosa asks us for advice, not knowing how to live further. Is this love? What do you think, friends?

Here's what I think about it...

Dear Rose.
Let me this time not involve an abstruse expert, but express my own point of view on this issue.
I believe that this is not love, but an unbridled attempt to correct the past, supported by a sense of guilt.
Living in a legal marriage with Andrey, you did not appreciate his sincere feelings, accepting love as something ordinary. When your husband died, you saw the light in the field of loneliness and realized that you had not said enough and did not love the one who deserved it.
Now, having met Maxim, who is very similar to your husband who has left forever, you subconsciously strive for a family idyll, claiming that his legal wife does not value such relationships.
Think deeply about this.
And now we are waiting for “help from the audience.”

I have a normal family, a great dad and beautiful mom. Yes, and I myself am a fairly pretty girl and men often pay attention to me. But at the time when I was 27, I was not lucky enough to find HIM - the one that everyone dreams of.

And when I finally met a man who captured my heart with just one look, he turned out to be married. Everything is like a bad story. Frankly, I didn’t think for a minute about whether it was worth starting a relationship with him - his presence made my knees go weak, and his smell made me think about sex. At first it was just a passion that I didn't want to control. And then our relationship grew into love.

About love

Yes, I fell in love. I fell in love so much that I was not at all interested in his wife, I was not interested in what my parents would say or what kind of future we would have. Yes, I was not at all interested in money, since my salary and help from my dad allowed me to feel calm in this matter.

Every time we met, I felt that this was my man. The one who won’t annoy me with his snoring, dirty socks, or football in the evenings. Frankly, he immediately said that he was married. True, he added that he does not love his wife. He doesn't love me anymore.

About relationships

At the beginning of our romance, he told me that he was not ready to leave the family and leave his wife. For many reasons. Therefore, our relationship will always remain a fairy tale on the side. In general, he was sure that it was impossible to love one person for a long time. That love then becomes friendship and affection, and this is a reason to look for a new relationship. To create which, of course, it is not at all necessary to destroy the family.

At that time I didn't care. I was ready to do anything just to be near him. At least sometimes.

We had a secret apartment where we met, we went on vacation together, met on weekends and could meet somewhere in Europe if I had a business trip. He was free. And, I must admit, this freedom attracted me like a magnet. You know, there are men who do a lot of bad things, but their presence makes you melt like melted cheese on a grill.

We consistently spent 3 evenings a week together, sometimes he stayed overnight. Yes, I didn’t really like holidays, because on holidays he was always with his family. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I cursed everything, sometimes I was ready to give up everything, but every time he brought me back. And at such moments I understood that he loved me.

About my wife

His wife didn't know about me or simply didn't want to know. Her husband often left, did not spend the night at home and allowed himself to be behaved the way he wanted. He behaved like a free man.

What connected them? I don’t know, he preferred to remain silent about her. Yes, they have children together. Common property and he probably once loved her. But that was once upon a time.

About time

My married friend and I have been dating for 10 years. Now I’m 37, I have a successful career, an interesting circle of acquaintances, a child and a beloved man. The child, of course, is his. It was he who asked to give birth, although he never left his wife. I must admit, I agreed without hesitation.

We still spend 3 evenings together, go on vacation and have 1 day off. Now he divides the holidays in half: half with his first family, half with us. This sounds strange, of course, but it is true.

Of course, during this time I freaked out, cried, sobbed, broke dishes and swore to myself that I would never return to him. She even started affairs on the side, thinking about getting married. But no man could replace him for me. I cried, at times I cursed him, but I returned.

What matters is that his theory that you can only love someone for a short time was shattered by our love. We still love, and I still look at him with love in my eyes. And, yes, this happens.

About the conclusions

I can't say that every day of my life I regret that I met him. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I cry about the fact that I should have married a normal “stable” man and not think about the state of “when my knees are shaking.”

But I’m not sure that in this situation I would be happy. Am I happy now? As a lover? At times, very much. At times, I feel unhappy. But I don’t think anything would change as a wife. This is probably a minus of any relationship. And women are divided into two categories: those who choose “stable and correct men” and those who choose love.

I chose love and I don’t want to regret it. And even if our relationship had lasted a month, and not so many years, I would remember them with warmth in my old age. And, for sure, my memories will be much more tender than those of those who do not know what love is.

Important: the heroine of the story chose to remain unknown.