The most precious thing in life is actually nearby. But for some reason we don’t remember this and make mistakes. Due to the inability to rationally distribute our time, we often lose moments that we can never get back. Family life is like a rather bumpy and hilly country road.

Everybody wants to have happy family, but often do not know what needs to be done for this, and hope that everything will come by itself - without effort on their part. But harmony can reign only where life is organized. Some prepare lunch, others prepare baby food (mashed potatoes, juices, cereals), and still others clean the apartment. Where there is chaos in the house, there is no order in the family. If it's cozy and everything is in order, it's easier to stay calm. Each family member must refuse any pleasure or hobby if it runs counter to family interests. Your family should know that you love them all and appreciate their work. A reminder of gratitude never hurts.

Wasting time sorting out relationships and insults does not eliminate problems, but only aggravates them. In families where they patiently listen to each other's opinions, problems of any complexity can be solved easily. During daily dinners together, you can find out the current state of affairs of both children and adults. Find out which family members need help. Read to your children, play games with them, and talk about anything that might interest them. It doesn't matter what you do or how much time you spend with your children, but what matters is that you are there for them when they need it. Show your love and affection regularly. One must not only dream about family happiness, but also affirm it and bring it closer every day.

To make everyone happy, everyone must make an effort. All members of your family should worry about each other and share responsibilities. Children can easily clean their room and change Meries diapers for the little ones. school age. A happy family gives everyone the courage to solve many problems in the world around them. Children learn how to behave in society by observing the behavior of their parents. If the parents are calm and less inclined to bad mood, then the children will naturally follow their example. Spend more time with your children and family - this is the most important thing we have.

Many health experts recommend postponing any major decisions until you have recovered. good mood. Serious discussions should be avoided until you feel happy. Days when everyone is reasonable and satisfied should be seen as a gift of fate .

Family is the most magical thing on earth, and two people are important here: husband and wife. Only by your own example will you raise amazingly magical children.

Let's talk about how to make your family happy, part of your magical space. We have selected the most important recommendations on issues family happiness:

Let me make a reservation right away: I don’t like the word “educate.” In our family, children look at their parents who are madly in love with each other, and they know that there is the coolest feeling in the world - the love of a husband for his wife and a wife for her husband. They grow from this example. And this is the main thing that is required.

It is useless to shout and force a child. By paying attention to this energy, you only strengthen it, and it should not be surprising that it pushes the child into behavior that you do not accept.

The role of a parent is to guide the child by example. Children feel very well everything that you really feel. For example, if a mother wants to arrange her daughter’s personal life and talks about love, but at the same time she suffers and does not love her husband, it is obvious that the result will be far from the desired.

I don't set limits and allow children to live life and learn from their own experiences. I've been cutting the umbilical cord since birth, and although I love them dearly, I want them to take action, choose and live. But on the other hand, they always know that they have somewhere to turn for help, that they are loved and will always be supported. It was difficult at first, but it's worth it. By giving them freedom and your trust, you help them prepare for adulthood.

The child stops hearing you as soon as you start imposing something. This is a dead end. Therefore, start with yourself, love your children, but let them live their experiences, including making their mistakes, and then learn a lesson from them.

I love my family. We have lived a lot, but all of this is experience. No matter what happened in your relationship, it is important that you remain above jealousy, resentment and other emotions. After all, it’s not so important what you did, but what exactly you understood from this experience, and how it brought you closer.

Family is the most magical thing on earth, and two people are important here: husband and wife. Only by your own example will you raise amazing and magical children.

There is hardly a mother who has never felt fear for her child, for his grades, relationships with friends or the future. What kind of game is this? Experiences are also actions. And, you see, it’s quite simple compared to real actions. It seems to us: he was worried, worried, and so, it seems, he made his contribution to ensuring that everything worked out well.

It seems to us that it is much easier to do this than to take responsibility and take care of ourselves, serving as an example for children and allowing them to make their own choice. But we can’t change anyone, just as we can’t force them... Only by developing yourself will you create that family energy, that atmosphere where the child himself will see and feel what he needs... without your worries and efforts! This is my choice, what about yours?

When you love, everything around you expands this feeling even more!!! Children show you even more the tenderness of your man, their problems - his strength, their secrets - his protection. The whole family is the personification of your strength, tenderness and love, in every second of your existence!

Until the age of nine, the formation of the physical body occurs through the interaction of the child and his universe. The child maintains states of love, carelessness, and constant Play. During this period, the child does not need to be prohibited from doing anything; he goes his own way, picking up bumps along the way. He will go potty when he is ready. Otherwise, with prohibitions and screams, you will break the thread that harmoniously connects the child and the universe. He himself knows when and what to do. At this time, the mother supports the child in everything, protects and loves him. Mom trusts him as she trusts herself, because it was this baby who chose her as his mother.

It happens that while shouting loudly in kindergarten, teachers scold the baby, reprimand the mother for poor upbringing, who immediately begins to scold her baby. The baby moves away from his mother and looks at her with eyes full of tears. He trusted her so much, and she listens to some strange aunt.

We read books, listen to psychologists, and I really want to draw attention to the fact that we need to think about very important issue: “When will we listen to our own child?”

Look at your child as a person who has come specifically to you. Don't limit your creativity.

Why did mothers decide that all babies need the same approach, which is described in books?

I would like to quote the words of one of my very good now acquaintances, Santosh Tumadin Kanna:

“If it seems to you that your child is not interested in anything, find even more places where he can open up. Search even in those places that never occurred to you, and then when your child grows up, there will be no questions about where to send him; you just need to bless and let go.”

The age of up to three years allows the child to enjoy his surroundings; it is very important for later life, which will present many gifts, the fulfillment of all desires and dreams. If a child has lived the first three years of his life in full permission, if he has not forgotten how to accept gifts, attention and all the best things in life, then everything will turn out well in the future.

This is the phrase “I want” - wishes that come true. She is very important for any of your inquiries and requests. In other words: “I express my intention.” They are equal in terms of performance. The child himself regulates these processes, and if we interfere with one of them at the direction of the author of the book or mentor, we will not allow a set of certain reflexes to be completed, and in the future this will affect the lack of expression of any reflex or attention.

We are born Angels and we give birth to Angels: isn’t this enough for the happiness and health of the baby?
Allow your baby to be him, do not punish or forbid him, love him and thank him for his universal wisdom.

Tip 5: Release your energy

And one more important point... Children, our beloved and beautiful ones, are for us the most disobedient creatures in the world. And we tell them: don’t do this, don’t do that. Now imagine that they have accumulated a lot of energy that they want to release, but they are told “you can’t.” What to do? We ourselves were taught to do only what is possible, but we were not taught where and how to release the accumulated energy. And as a result
a stock of suppressed emotions is formed. Is this what you want for your child?

Even in the most radical cases there is a way out. It's a choice. For example, a child wants to break the dishes... Tell him that he cannot break the dishes, but then tell him how to let go of what is bothering him. Offer him a choice, give him something in return. And then you will avoid creating blockages, which will become more complicated with age. And your family will be the happiest! You have to fight for your happiness every day, but it’s worth it.

Elena Petrova-Osinnikova (vk.com/petrovaosinnikova) for Women's magazine"Lovely"

But mutual happiness presupposes mutual work in the following directions:

Mutual respect.
In most cases, romantic love passes, but respect for each other should be from the very beginning and remain your companion life together every day. Often, in some things, people are dissatisfied with each other and try to rebuild their soulmate in their own way, wean them from annoying habits and impose their point of view. But each person is unique, has his own unique inner world and value system. Therefore, learn to respect both the strengths and weaknesses of your loved one.

Showing concern.
Ask yourself: “What are 10 nice things you can do for your lover?” Do you know for sure that your significant other will like it or do you assume? Do you know what you will definitely like? If at least 10 points were not found for each question, urgently set yourself a secret goal - to find out. You don’t have to rack your brain every day about what to do today? Although, if possible, that would be great. But every day say how much you love. Kiss and hug more often, look for a reason to caress. Don't forget about compliments. Praise and thank each other whenever appropriate. Kindness and consideration for each other will always keep your marriage strong.

Celebrating wedding anniversaries.
In many families it is somehow not customary to celebrate this day. Think about it - this is the Day of Creation of Your Family! It is no less important than a birthday or New Year.
There is no need to gather guests. Celebrate together in a restaurant, cafe or nice bar. Remember how you met, how the relationship developed, who thought and what, what they doubted, what they were afraid of. You may have forgotten many funny, sad or simply interesting stories that happened to you during the meetings. This is the movie of your life, in which you are the main characters.
You can celebrate this day at home. The main thing is to create a holiday. Watch videos and photographs of your wedding, prepare small romantic gifts for each other.

Ability to criticize and listen to criticism.
There are things in which, no matter how hard you try, you still won’t be able to keep silent. And it is not necessary if your spouse is wrong about something. The main thing is to do it carefully so as not to offend. After criticism, it is advisable to find a reason for praise. This will make it clear that you are not “clinging”, and in addition to the shortcomings and mistakes, you also see and appreciate the merits of your loved one.
Avoid grumbling and whining. If a problem arises, it should be announced, solved and not returned to.

Showing openness and trust.
Very rare today. As a rule, both spouses carry grievances, hidden desires, problems that they cannot solve on their own and do not talk about it with each other. Why? Afraid!
They are afraid of being refused, afraid that he or she will be misunderstood, that hysterics and screams will begin. And all this instead of the desired support and help.
The reason for this could once be careless behavior on the part of a loved one. The result is mistrust and misunderstandings in the future: - “Why didn’t you tell me, why did you hide it, etc.”
It's your own fault! After all, you once showed disrespect, impatience and misunderstanding towards a dear person.
Tell each other what is on your soul and heart, what makes you happy and what upsets you, what you like and what irritates you. In return, demand openness from your spouse. This the right way avoid many conflicts.

Positive memories.
As soon as you start to be angry with your significant other for something, try to remember all the good things that are connected with her (him). Pleasant moments of your life together, care and you will immediately remember that you love. Forgive and move on to more important matters. For example, think about what nice things you can do for your loved one today or tomorrow.

The ability to give in.
Often spouses have completely opposite views on something. You start to argue, but think about whether you can give in? If you cannot agree, look for a third option that suits both parties. Justify your point of view and listen to your loved one. Be sure to analyze what he said, imagine that it will be exactly like this. You may want to agree or appear new idea.

Distribution of duties.
This is a pressing problem that has caused the collapse of more than one marriage.
Since ancient times, a man plowed in the field, and a woman worked around the house. What does everything look like these days? If it is the same as 300 years ago, then in the family structure the distribution of labor is quite fair. What if the wife works at an enterprise (company, organization - it doesn’t matter), and then also at home, while the husband is a “sofa exhibit”?
Many husbands in such families wonder why in marriage, once beautiful well-groomed woman, has turned into something gray and refuses nightly marital duties, complaining of fatigue.
Well, try to perform all the household functions yourself after work. About a week. And not only for yourself, but for the whole family. It looks like nothing complicated, but with someone else’s hands everything is quick and simple.
Where can I find time for relaxation and beauty? To more or less get herself in order, a woman needs at least an hour and a half a day.
If a man works until late at night, at least on weekends, housework can be distributed relatively evenly and the wife will have time for both her beauty and you.

Cultivating romance in relationships.
Choose days when you can dress up for each other as if you were going on a first date. Invite your significant other to a meeting. Go to a cafe, theater or just take a walk in the park.
Remember what you talked about on your first dates, where you went, where you hung out, what you dreamed about. After the walk, arrange romantic dinner"by candlelight and with a bottle of champagne."

And may the spark of your love never fade away!

In a family, the central place is occupied by the relationship between spouses. How they develop, what they are based on, ultimately affects the rest of the family, in particular children. In a happy family, parents love and respect each other, they always have something to talk about, and joint silence does not hang as a heavy cloud over them. At the same time, it is impossible to identify two such different concepts “happy family” and “ideal family”, since it is almost impossible to achieve ideal family relations. There is nothing ideal in the world at all. And even in a happy family, spouses do not come to a common opinion on all issues, and the truth is sometimes born only in a dispute. And here the main thing is the ending. In a happy family, love for your spouse and children always wins.

Children in a happy family

If there is harmony in the relationship between the spouses, then they have enough time to pay attention to their children. And children really need parental attention, especially at a young age. Participation, help in studying the world around us, approval, teaching, various manifestations of love and tenderness - this is all that is needed for the happiness of children. In addition, spending time together in the form of dinner, watching interesting films, intimate conversations, walks in the park makes the family stronger and more friendly. If parents are always busy sorting things out, they will not have time for their children. And even if they can find some free time, their minds will still be occupied with other things.

Money and a happy family

It is almost impossible to live without money, but the amount of money does not affect the degree of happiness in the family. Not every poor family is unhappy, just as not all rich families can be called happy. Happiness is only to a small extent connected with the material world. Happiness is more a state of mind, harmony with oneself and others, doing what you love, living surrounded by loved ones.

Someone else's family - darkness

Sometimes, when you see happy, smiling parents and children frolicking next to them, it seems that this is a happy family! But the form is not always meaningful. Sometimes in a beautiful wrapper you find not candy, but emptiness. It’s not for nothing that they say that someone else’s family is in the dark. There are not as many truly happy families as it seems. In addition, happiness is a very fragile state that is difficult to protect from external attacks. His worst enemy is human envy.

Have you ever thought about what family happiness is? What moments create the unity of several people, make the union harmonious?

The family was not formed in vain in the process of evolution. This is a community of people that has its own traditions, remembers its ancestors, respects its family, and strives to raise the new generation with dignity.

A real family is strong and friendly, all its members feel a close connection with each other.

How to live with your mother-in-law in the same apartment? Find out about this from ours.

What does it mean?

A happy family is immediately visible: between its members there is harmony, mutual understanding.

If you pay attention to the photographs, you will see smiling faces, people stand close to each other, there is a feeling of attraction between them, glances, gestures are directed towards loved ones.

Children in such families know that they are respected. Free time and rest happy family strives to spend together.

They feel good around them, small conflicts do not develop into major ones, but are incentive for change. If a quarrel arises, it ends quickly, because a happy family does not see the point in sorting things out, it is looking for a way to solve the problem better and faster.

When figuring out whether happiness really reigns in a family, you need to take into account that a family can be happy externally and internally.

Externally- This is an expression of one’s feelings and relationships in public. And it does not always coincide with the internal one. You may see smiling faces, but if you look closely, you will realize that in fact people are far from each other and are simply feigning happiness.

Internal family happiness is real, when there is no need to demonstrate your attitude, harmony always reigns.

The combination of external and internal manifestations and constitutes complete happiness. It is such a family that is truly harmonious - it does not need to pretend - joy, fun, love are natural and do not disappear under the influence of circumstances or strangers.

What is family happiness like: psychology

What is family happiness?

Family happiness closely related to emotions feelings that family members feel towards each other.

When people get married, they hope that happiness will come to them, they will live together until old age, and have children.

However, the rose-colored glasses quickly fall off, family life comes, financial difficulties, people begin to see their partner's shortcomings. The first one comes, then the next ones, and not every family goes through them calmly.

Many couples, others, live for years in war mode, unable to find a common language, but also not wanting to break up in order to create a new, more prosperous union. Eventually Not only spouses suffer, but also their children.

If you come home with joy, meet your soulmate, you feel good together, then you can call yourself a happy couple.

Qualities

Let's look at what qualities a happy family has.

A happy family will not sort things out in public, criticize the partner, or complain about the children or the older generation.

They act together, together and this is what unites them even more strongly. There are no strong disagreements in it, because the goals are directed in one direction, and there is such a family as a single organism.

Harmony - concept and manifestations

Harmony is a state of balance, balance.

In a harmonious family there are practically no quarrels, and if controversial situations arise, they are resolved as efficiently and beneficially as possible for all its members.

In a harmonious family there is a feeling of calm, integrity, present positive emotions, and if someone is upset or sick, then close people support, help to get out of emotional negativity or a difficult life situation.

In a family where there is balance, the morning begins positively, in the evening people rush home because loved ones are waiting for them there and need attention and care.

The basis of harmony is calmness and that you are needed, that your loved ones will always support you, give you a smile, and help improve your mood.

They are unacceptable in such families - they upset the created balance and bring negativity into existence. Harmonious families are avoided as a factor threatening peace and integrity.

Are there ideal unions?

It seems that a happy family is some unattainable ideal.

You and your friends periodically conflict with loved ones, someone has financial difficulties, someone in other families gets sick.

And the question arises - are there really absolutely happy families? Yes, they are. This largely depends on the married people themselves, on their willingness to work on relationships, save them.

There is probably no concept of absolute happiness, and it is not achievable. But create a good one friendly family Everyone is capable. However, this is a lot of work, and first of all on yourself.

You can not, you don't have the right to force others to change, but are able to work on their own attitude towards loved ones. And by changing your attitude, methods of influence, communication, you will begin to notice that family members began to behave differently.

Each person has his own concept of happiness, so it is impossible to derive a single formula, a recipe, following which you and your family will certainly be satisfied with your life together.

But if you try to bring harmony and joy to the world, then you can certainly achieve this. There are happy families, and they are made so by the people themselves, who are ready to fight for their happiness and build it.

Examples

In glossy magazines and programs they often talk about couples whose love could be set as an example.

We must understand that every family is individual. The methods for creating happiness vary from person to person.

One of best examples — elderly couple, who lived together for many years, maintained love and fidelity. They have happy children and grandchildren who come to them on holidays, but do not forget on ordinary days. Such a family can say that “we are together no matter what.”

Happy couples can also be found among celebrities. One of them - Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel. They have been together for 15 years and are raising two wonderful children.

Another one famous couple — Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith- one of the strongest couples in Hollywood, they have two children, have been married for 14 years, Will does everything to make his wife feel loved.

Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell together for about 30 years. Goldie says the most valuable thing to her is that she feels loved.

Svetlana and Fyodor Bondarchuk have been together for 20 years. After so much time, their feelings have not faded away, and they are not shy about showing them in public.

Angelica Varum and Leonid Agutin. An amazing couple whose love is noticeable from the outside. Despite their bright and temperamental characters, they love and appreciate each other, and preserving the family is important to them.

What do you need for this?

What makes a family happy?

Having an idea of ​​what it is good family, the question arises: what needs to be done to make her happy?

1. The desire of two people to develop a relationship, their way out of crisis situations as painlessly as possible.
2. Children- one of the reasons for happiness. Of course, you can be happy with your life without them, but many couples break up because one of the partners does not want or cannot have a child.
3. Striving for one goal. If a woman wants children, and a man is more inclined to travel and entertainment, then sooner or later conflicts will arise on this basis.
4. Sexual compatibility. Intimate life is one of the most important in life together. Incompatibility of partners often becomes the reason for betrayal and dissatisfaction with each other.

   Ideally, the need for sex should be approximately the same, or one of the partners makes compromises.

5. Ignore small problems, they're not worth it. Quarrels over nonsense destroy harmony and slowly undermine the stone of happiness.
6. Spend time not only together, but also allow each family member to have their own hobby and the opportunity to relax alone. Every person needs personal space.
7. Don't hold back your emotions, do not accumulate them inside, especially negative ones. If you are sad, feel angry, talk to your loved one, tell them what is bothering you. If you feel joy, happiness, love, gratitude, share these emotions as often as possible.

How to diversify family life? find out right now.

Pledge and rules of well-being

By observing the following simple secrets , you will become closer to the feeling of family happiness and harmony.

• love your spouse;
• respect his values, freedom, wishes of his partner and children;
• be able to make compromises to maintain happiness and balance;
• Welfare and finances are one of the pillars on which family life rests. Money problems affect your happiness;
• have common interests. Naturally, spouses can have their own hobbies, but there must be something that unites them;
• have common goals;
• look at raising children the same way;
• when problematic situations arise, conduct a dialogue;
• trust between group members is one of the important points;
• be able to be sincere and tell the truth. Lies come out sooner or later.

How to be a happy wife?

In order for a woman to become happy in family life, she must first choose the right man.

You need to work on your happiness. Relationships don't develop on their own.

If you get married, you take responsibility for maintaining harmony in the relationship. It is unacceptable to shift responsibility for your actions onto others.

Supporting loved ones in difficult times- one of the keys to family happiness.

Recipes for family happiness

How to become a happy family?

There are no uniform recipes, but they still exist general principles , tested on many unions.

1. Respect each other. If there is no respect, the family will sooner or later fall apart, it will simply have nothing to support it - two people will live next to each other, completely disregarding the interests of others.
2. Create family traditions and stick to them.
3. Spend time together. Traveling, weekends outside the city create leisure, unite, allow you to communicate more closely and understand your partner and your children.
4. Support your spouse in difficult times. When a person is having a hard time, has problems at work or is unwell, he needs the sympathy and advice of loved ones. Indifference and inability to provide support alienate.
5. Learn to respect children. A child, even a small one, is an individual; he needs self-expression, a certain amount of freedom in actions and thoughts.
6. Cultivate respect for elders in children.
7. Touch each other. Tactile sensations help us experience intimacy, and touch can express more than words.

Remember that in order for a family to become happy, all its members must strive for this.

Work on your relationships, do not let negativity seep into your union, do not let strangers interfere, and then harmony will accompany you throughout your entire life together.

7 rules to make your family life happier, from Dale Carnegie: