20 shocking quotes from psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky that caused so much controversy. There are no indifferent people: some accept them completely, others reject them with indignation. For both, his words have enormous power. They are based on “healthy cynicism” and many years of experience.

A healthy person does not want to get married. The first thing you have to do is stop wanting to get married. In other words, if you want to get married, you need to stop thinking about it, devalue the idea itself.

Pledge of happiness family life, marriage and sex with one partner in only one thing - a stable psyche. No concessions, no compromises - this is all a direct path to a cardiologist or oncologist. When a person has a stable psyche, he can live with one partner all his life. And love him alone.

People are not liked because they cave in. A woman will be just an empty place for a man if it is impossible to say about her who she is, what she is and what she likes for breakfast. The paradox is that men simply adore bitchy women.

Cause of women's problems It's not that he's acting like an asshole. Cause is that she has a neurosis that requires an outlet. And for this exit, a certain person and relationship are needed in which she could suffer. Therefore, she specifically enters into such relationships, because she has had a mental need for this since childhood.

We measure love by the level of suffering. A healthy love is about how happy you are.

When a flight attendant shows you the life-saving equipment, what does she say about oxygen masks? “If you are traveling with a child, provide a mask for yourself first, then the child.” That's the whole point. Everyone is trying to help the child, while remaining an absolute psycho. That's not how it works. If you want your child to feel good, do something with your head first.

Men are designed in such a way that since the time of their mother, they only approach those who give them approval with their eyes. A healthy man is like a child. He comes up when the woman smiles at him, looks into his eyes...

Healthy people always choose themselves, and neurotics are relationships to the detriment of themselves, and this is the most important difference.

A woman should never tolerate anything she doesn't like in a relationship. She should talk about it right away, and if the man does not change, she should break up with him.

Men, like children, like it when a woman has character.

If a person replaces the whole world for another person, this means that he simply does not have his own world.

Loneliness is not the absence of love around. This is a lack of interest in oneself, and since childhood.

As for finding a partner, I’ll say, who should I look for? The only quality your partner can have is that he clings to you. Everything else doesn't play any role at all. If you love him, worry about him, worry - then there are no “bars”.

What do you need to do to get married? But that's all There is only one thing to do - be yourself. It's enough. And they love you, in principle, only for this.

Do you know what the fundamental difference is between a healthy person and a neurotic? A healthy person also suffers, but from real stories. And a neurotic suffers from fictional stories. And if there is not enough suffering, he also catches up with his beloved Kafka, Dostoevsky and the bottle.

If you don't like the way a man behaves, you don't need to look for excuses for his behavior. A situation in which “he didn’t call back” means the end of a relationship for a healthy girl, and the beginning of love for an unhealthy girl.

Starting a family is an important step in the life of every person.

This step literally involves the newlyweds in a new round of life events, in new conditions for the development of the spouses. The relationship between spouses creates a common atmosphere in their family.

A family is a home in which there is an atmosphere of love, mutual understanding, prosperity, joy, and happiness.

But, unfortunately, this does not always happen. Family is the center around which everything revolves in a person’s life. We are born into a family (for orphans, their family becomes an orphanage or orphanage), we grow up, we learn about the world, we leave our parents’ home, and we create our own family.

The family is our nest, which we gradually build; a haven to which we can always return and gain strength; a place where we become truly happy and prosperous.

Prosperous family relationships- this is the key to the happiness of the members of this family.

A family can become a source of abundance of life (if you want - material, spiritual) benefits, or it can become a source of suffering and failure.

We all want family well-being, so that everything is fine with our relatives, no one gets sick, everyone is happy.

A little history

Our ancestors attached special importance to family and family relationships. In Ancient Rus', when Vedic culture flourished.

Young people were not allowed to participate in the management of the community.

To do this, they needed to start a family, build harmonious relationships, and cultivate creative qualities in themselves. Only after this they were given the right to vote in the community's public assemblies.

What conclusions can be drawn?

Considering all of the above, family relationships take on a deeper meaning. For newlyweds, this is a way to unlock their potential (male and female).

Only a favorable environment in the family can cultivate qualities that help awaken the forces of creation and structure a space of harmony and well-being around oneself.

Each family is a separate universe, which is created by everyone who is part of it.

After all, thanks to such universes, our World, called Humanity, is preserved!

Peace and prosperity to you!

Before you connect your life with this or that person, be sure to find out everything about him or her. You may be interested in a variety of issues - from hereditary diseases to the inheritance due to your potential soul mate. The main thing is to ask yourself whether you can live your whole life with this person. There should be no dark spots left for you in the biography of your future spouse at the time of marriage.

The key concept for creating a happy couple can undoubtedly be called fidelity. If you are going to connect your life with this person, be committed to being faithful to him. If you haven't had your fill yet, it might be worth holding off on getting married. Most people believe that fidelity is the key to happiness in a couple.

Appreciate your husband or wife. Pamper, make compromises, give little cute gifts... A quarrel is better than tense silence, which gradually undermines the marriage, but a calm discussion of the problem is better than a quarrel. Be sure to clarify all conflict issues and make peace. You should not go to bed in a quarrel, because grievances only grow stronger over time, which means that it will be much more difficult to reconcile in the morning. If you find it difficult to compromise, imagine that your significant other has disappeared. If you really value your loved one, after this it will not be so difficult for you to be the first to propose a truce.

If you are having problems as a couple, go to a therapist or attend a couples seminar.

Don't let everyday life ruin your family comfort!

Domestic problems have separated many strong couples. You should start fighting them from the very beginning life together. Divide responsibilities, buy household appliances (from a vacuum cleaner to a dishwasher), take care of the house together. If both you and your spouse work, such a division of responsibilities is simply necessary. Despite the stereotypical idea that a woman should lead the house, modern world, where a significant proportion of women work equally with men, women have earned the right to rest. Therefore, sharing responsibilities will greatly simplify your life together.

To keep your relationship healthy and strong, don't use sex as a manipulative tool.

Mutual support in a couple is the key to success. Instead of nagging or reproaching your spouse, support, reassure, something. It is very important to listen carefully to each other difficult days.

Sex life- an indispensable component happy relationship. At the very beginning, there are usually no problems in this regard, but over time, marital sex becomes boring, monotonous and boring. Unfortunately, in the sexual sphere, everything just doesn’t work out that way. Buy erotic lingerie, read about role-playing games, take the initiative. There is a lot of literature on this topic on the Internet.

A parable about how to bring love and tenderness back into a relationship

One day a young man asked wise man:

– Why are you so happy in your family life? Everyone respects you, they come to you for advice. What's your secret?

The sage smiled and called his wife. A beautiful woman entered the room happy woman:

- Yes, dear!
- Honey, please prepare the dough for the pie.
- Fine!

She went out and twenty minutes later came to say that the dough was ready.

– Add to it the best ghee from our reserves. And all those nuts we saved for our son's birthday cake.
- Fine.

And again she came ten minutes later, and her husband said:

- Add our yard clay there too. And then bake it.
“Okay,” said the wife.

And half an hour later this strange pie was already in her hands.

– Of course we won’t eat it! - said the husband. - Give this to the pigs on the street.
“Okay,” said the wife.

The guest was shocked. Is this really possible? Not a single word against, I did everything my husband said. Even when he suggested an absurd thing.

And the man decided to repeat the experiment at home. When he entered there, he immediately heard his wife’s laughter. My wife and her friends were playing a board game.

- Wife! - the man turned to her.
- I'm busy! - my wife shouted irritably from the bedroom.
- Wife!

Ten minutes later she appeared:

- What do you need?
- Put the dough on!
- Are you crazy! The house is full of food and I have something to do!
- Put the dough on, I said!

Half an hour later, the wife irritably announced that the dough was ready.

- Add it there best nuts and all the ghee.
- Are you crazy! The day after tomorrow is my sister's wedding, and these nuts are needed for the pie!
- Do as I say!

The wife put only part of the nuts into the dough, and then went out to her husband again.

- Now add clay to the dough!
-Are you out of your mind? Did you transfer so many products in vain?
- Add clay, I say! And then bake it.

An hour later, the wife brought this pie and threw it on the table:

- Now I’ll see how you eat it!
- But I won’t eat it - take it to the pigs!
“You know what,” the wife was indignant, “then go and feed your pigs yourself!”

She slammed the door and went to her room. For several more days she laughed at her husband in front of everyone, telling this story.

And then the guest decided to return to the sage:

- Why? Why did everything work out for you and your wife did everything as you said, but mine threw a scandal and is still laughing at me? - he asked from the threshold.
- It's simple. I don't argue with her and don't give orders. I protect her and that makes her calm. My wife is the guarantee of my family well-being.
- So what should I do now, look for another wife?
- This is the simplest method that will lead you to the saddest result. You and your wife need to learn to respect each other. And for this, you must be the first to do everything to make her happy.
- Yes, I do everything for her anyway!
- Is she happy? You got married in order to love each other, take care and rejoice together. But instead you argue, share dominance and discuss each other...

The man wandered home, lost in thought. On the way, he saw a beautiful rose bush. It was with these roses that he once sought her hand. Every day one sprig of roses. At any time of the year... When was the last time he gave her such flowers? He couldn't remember anymore.

He picked a twig and took it home. Everyone at home was already asleep. He didn’t want to disturb his wife and simply placed flowers at her head.

In the morning, for the first time in recent years, breakfast awaited him. AND beautiful wife with shining eyes. He hugged her and kissed her tenderly, just like he had done many years ago.

He stopped doing unimportant things, began to devote more time to his wife and tried to make her happier. His attention and care, tenderness and love returned to him multiplied many times over. His wife stopped going around the house “haphazardly”, started cooking his favorite dishes for him again, they stopped arguing and everything got better...

Several years passed, and a young man knocked on his door.

– I heard that your relationship with your wife is a model for others. But for me it’s not like that. My wife nags me, spends all my money, doesn’t listen... What’s the secret? I read so many books, but none helped me...

The owner smiled and said:

- Come in, dear guest. My wife is just about to bake a cake...