I'm tired of men who don't want to take responsibility. Responsibility for your woman. To be honest, I don’t understand what they want at all!
Obviously, at my age, I associate with men with a past. They have one, or even several marriages behind them. Children, alimony, sold apartments and purchased apartments. Apartments left or taken away by ex-wives. Career ups and downs. Problems with health, with money. With parents. With women. With cars! This is a completely different story. A man and his cars. And then I appear in their lives. And all this falls on me. On my fragile shoulders. I sigh heavily and begin to rake.
A reasonable question: “Why do I need this?” Firstly, I still want a man next to me. I want love, affection and care. Secondly, if not me, then who? After all, I appeared in his life for a reason.
Let's start with the fact that I'm one of those rare women who doesn't fuck my brain. At all. Never. I listen and get involved in the process. I inspire, help and love. I'm not jealous. I don't delve into the past. I know how to be close. In the kitchen. In the bedroom. Fishing. In the garage. I know how to shut up in time and “go off into the fog.” For an hour. For a day. For a week. And come back when you need me. Yes, I don't want to get married. Yes, I'm not afraid of loneliness. But I want you to be near. I want to fall asleep with you. Cook you breakfast. Walk, go to the movies, go on vacation. I want to bring you joy!
Came from a meeting with ex-wife and a child. Sucks? I see. Here's the plate. Break it up. Feel better. Just don't take it out on me. It's not my fault that I'm not the mother of your children!
Lost your job? No problem. You will find a new one. You are a brilliant programmer (driver, engineer, musician, janitor). Just don’t make a face when I come to visit you and bring a full bag of groceries. There is no need to say anything at all. Just go have dinner. With a smile. Open a bottle of wine. Hug, kiss. Because I want to, because it feels good. Find a job and take me to a good Italian restaurant. Or give me flowers. Or just say “thank you.” Yes, you don’t have to say anything at all. I only do what I want. And if I’m now standing at your stove and cooking you borscht, then it gives me pleasure.
Yes, and please fix my chairs tomorrow and take me to Ikea. And the day after tomorrow, pick me up from the dance. And then there’s an immediate misunderstanding...
"How is it? I have a lot to do. I need to look for a job (go fishing, make dumplings, see my son). You are the same as all women. You always need something. You’re not a little girl, learn to solve your problems yourself.”
I learned. But I want you to help me. A little bit. After all, I know your schedule very well and ask you for services exactly when you are free. And damn, you SHOULD feel good. Does not work. Fear of being used. Don't get it. Give more than you get in return.
Yes, I wanted to write about sex, but I realized that there was an ambush there, worse than with cars. Age, shortness of breath from smoking, blood pressure, watching porn the day before, etc. And, of course, the fear of giving more than you receive. Do men only want sex? Made me laugh...

Or maybe there was just no love?

This article was automatically added from the community

In a relationship, a man will shift the initiative and responsibility to the woman for three main reasons.

I. Mom (or first beloved woman) did not give enough love, and the man decides that investing in one woman is futile. “I’m nice and friendly with everyone, I help a lot of people, which means a lot of people will need me,” he reasons and plays shirt-guy. In the first place, he puts communication, friends and helping other people with internal hidden benefits, hoping that he will then collect nectar from all flowers at once.

Those around him agree, thinking to themselves: " Good guy with a wide social circle and useful connections, can entertain with pleasant, casual conversation. We'll feed him deliciously, if he needs it, we'll give him a little money, maybe someday we'll use his help again." But they have their own lives. They let him in for a short while. And he thinks: "I probably didn't do good enough. We must try harder and give even more." He begins to help their parents and children, uses his acquaintances, brings them together the right people, that is, he earns more in the hope that the return will be greater. And they still pay with dinners and pleasant, but short conversations. They don’t take him into their lives. He cannot understand that for others, although he is interesting, he is only an episode. Their personal life comes first, even if it doesn’t show much outwardly. People use it not because they are bad, but only because it allows and even provokes. If a person really wants to please and like him, then there will definitely be someone who will take advantage of this.

And such a man makes boundless claims against his woman, which, strictly speaking, should be presented to those people who “bend him in.” This is his change of priorities. And this situation will continue until a person realizes that his life is in his hands. Only if a man himself comes to the understanding that by holding hands with one particular woman, he can achieve a lot, his life will change. Only the person with whom you build life hand in hand can give love. Strangers don't share this. They bring the most valuable things to the family. That's why they are both strong-willed and successful. Together they warm up and take care of the home, and do not squander themselves.
He eats scraps from their master’s table, but he cannot afford his own master’s table, because he provides for everyone. There is simply not enough for yourself. He has internal dissatisfaction and a deficit state: “The more I cover, the more I get.” But no. It doesn't work that way.

II. The second story about infantilism. This often happens if a man lives with his mother. Whenever he opens the refrigerator, there is always food there, and there is ready-made food on the stove. I ate, I can sleep. He took off his pants and socks and threw them in the wash - mom will wash them. Why not life?

The level of maturity is always determined by a person’s ability to build long-term close relationships. You can have a huge number of “friends” that change quickly, or you can be strong and deep friends with two people all your life. It depends on the ability to accept people (situations) and take responsibility. If a person can build a relationship with a friend for 20 years, it means that he can get along with other people, because he hears, understands and accepts them. Situations change, people change, people's attitudes towards situations change, but you can always find common ground.

So, the second case is an infantile man. He is not responsible for anything and does not worry: “You somehow “settled it” yourself, dear.” Because in his life there was or is a mother (first wife), who always “sorted things out” herself. And now the man gives up his own life. He is used to others making decisions for him.

III. The third reason is the first unhappy love when it was very painful. The man was offended, “swallowed” and became petrified in his soul. He said to himself: “I will never go there again.” And off we go: a lot of connections, no responsibility. First, second, fifth, tenth, twenty-fifth... He “used” it and threw it away, “used” it and threw it away. As a rule, these are typical and very charismatic men.

In conclusion, it must be said that for the most part, a certain type of woman encounters a man who does not take responsibility in a relationship. The tougher a woman is, the stricter she treats herself and the more she wants to take from a man, the more often she meets men on her way who will not give her anything.

Hello!

I drove myself into an unsolvable situation. I ignored the university for too long, as a result, now I am in the 3rd year, only C grades, and perhaps soon I will be expelled. All my relatives are people with higher education, with Ph.D. degrees, and I am the only one without an education. That's okay, but I have absolutely no strength to change anything. I've been crying for a week now. There is no strength to leave the room in the dorm and start solving problems. I'm afraid. I would have already committed suicide, but my parents are holding me back. And the university is very famous, there will immediately be a fuss about how a student committed suicide due to a failed exam/problems with her studies. But in fact, I just don’t want to take responsibility for my life. I want to get out of this. I admit that I am the weakest link and a coward, but in return I want to find a way to leave this life in a way that causes as little pain as possible to those around me. I have been decaying inside and out for more than 2 years now, I hate the university, I hate myself, I hate my weakness and constant apathy. WHAT TO DO? I'm trapped by my own laziness and stupidity.
Support the site:

Anna, age: 20 / 01/22/2014

Responses:

Anya, Anya - hello. You probably know what an old Russian weapon called a “bow” looks like. An arrow is inserted into the bow, which pulls the string in it. So now you are very similar to this bowstring, which just a little more shade and it will break.
Why are you putting pressure on yourself? For what? If you don’t want to study, give up, take an academic course and go to work. And then we’ll see - maybe you want to enroll in another university - is that important?
But Anechka there are things that are truly important. You can spit on the university - but you cannot spit and betray your parents, your friends, your loved ones - by committing suicide. Read the reviews of those who have experienced this. Do you want the hair on your head to stand on end? And those who failed suicides - have you read their stories?
After all, you need to prepare for what awaits you and your loved ones. If a person had lived in prison beforehand, perhaps he would never have decided to commit a crime)
There is no good fairy who will come to you, get you out of bed, and solve your problems for you.
Therefore, try to find the strength within yourself to live. You can push global problems - studying or studying at an institute - into the background for now - but eating your parents' bread for nothing - without studying or working - will be somehow unconscionable. This is where we need to start. Hear what your conscience tells you and follow it. Start with work - so as not to eat bread for nothing. And then add to this other means that will help you return to a full life - this is sports, and reading, and some useful activities, and meeting with friends, and definitely helping people, etc.
I believe that you will find the strength to cope. You're smart Anechka, you can do it.

Sveta, age: ** / 01/23/2014

Hello, Anya! But this problem is not worth your life at all! It seems to me that you are under a lot of pressure from the idea that all your relatives have higher education, and you must meet their level. In this regard, I understand you, because... I also have a role model in my family - my aunt with an excellent education. My parents constantly set her up as an example for me, and when I didn’t give the best grades, they reproached me - they say, how did your aunt study... what about you? High results were always expected of me. Of course, I always involuntarily compare myself with her, and usually this comparison turns out not to be in my favor... and I also internally reproach myself. I was also upset about this more than once, disappointed in myself. I you I understand, on the one hand.
Look at the situation more simply. It’s better to laugh at yourself, in the end, than to push yourself like this. I’m sure that you have some talents and skills that you could develop. Perhaps you’re not studying because you don’t I wonder, maybe you’re in the wrong place. All people make mistakes, it happens, but you can improve. You can choose your own path. There are many of them... and no one can choose it for you or show you. And you don’t have to follow anyone’s or an example. Think and tell yourself honestly why you entered the university, for this particular specialty, what are your prospects, do you really want this? And decide what to do next. It sounds corny, but you still need to pull yourself together. Don’t worry. Think calmly. Yes, of course, everyone has moments of weakness, despair, disbelief, but find the strength to overcome them. I For some reason, I’m sure that everything will work out great for you if you just make an effort, if you just understand what you really want. Don’t think about death under any circumstances, drive these thoughts away! They come most often from inaction. You know, a good way to distract yourself is to keep yourself busy with something. Be it a hobby, study, work, sports or just a walk... distract yourself from these thoughts.
I sincerely wish you good luck! Everything will be fine!

Natalie, age: 20 / 01/23/2014

Dear, I simply have not heard a more stupid reason (precisely a reason, not a reason to die).

With your sentiments, at least half of the people entering universities should leave them feet first.

I’m willing to bet all my money that even at least on your stream there are several more people like you (I’m talking about those who have neglected their studies, not those who want to kill themselves).

Personally, I actually started studying in the 5th year, when I had to take my diploma and all my sins came to light.

Now let's try to find a way out of your situation.
Option #1
Score. Since I am guided by banal logic, this option is present. But I understand that this is not an option because... this has already brought you to a similar state.

Option No. 2
Change university, faculty. Try to find something else that you like. Try to find yourself. I'm sure this won't motivate you very much, so let's move on.

Option #3 THIS WILL WORK! IF THIS DOESN'T HELP YOU, WE WILL REFUND YOUR MONEY)))

I give you a 100% guarantee that this will work. You will discover not only that this problem can be solved very easily and simply, but also your hidden abilities.

The situation is called "Time pressure"<ред.модер.>". You have no idea what a person who is in this position can do. The greatest minds of humanity pale in comparison to a person "in time pressure<ред.модер.>".

To do this, you need a problem, as well as a deadline for completing it. In your situation, you almost blew the second factor, but life goes on))

Find some strength within yourself to go to the rector or teachers with whom you had problems. Apologize and ask for a retake.

You will not sleep at night, you will search for information, learn it. Make various reports, coursework, etc. Suicide? You simply won't have time for this.

Have you ever written an 85-page thesis in 3 days? I wrote. And I passed it with a 5. Believe me, I’m not the only one. Ask your friends who graduated from college. If they don't try to show themselves as the standard of discipline (which 99.9% of them really are not), they will tell you that that's exactly how it was (That's why it's better to beware of the older generation).

Take a small step and you will see how your life will change. Many successful people artificially put themselves in similar situations later in life because 99.9% of people can do and change something only when time pressure sets in<ред.мод.>.

Good luck to you and finally give up this stupid thought of suicide. No university in the world is worth this. Moreover, you can solve this in one, two, three.

Yakov, age: 26 / 01/23/2014

It is possible that you simply do not have enough strength to live. I need to cheer myself up somehow. Walk or run in the fresh air, eat healthy food. After all, there is food after which you are too lazy to think and move. I mean various chips, burgers, cakes, etc. You know how good it is when you get up in the morning, get into the shower, then go for a run in the park, then eat a salad and you’ll have that kind of energy for the whole day.

Sonya, age: 33 / 01/23/2014

Anyuta, this is honest pioneering. Take at least some steps to change your situation for the better and you will see that the devil is not as scary as he is painted. Teachers are people too. Explain, apologize, give a chocolate bar. Whine in your supervisor’s ear, tell me, that you had problems and vow to improve. They will definitely meet you halfway!
I wish you success!!!

Moonwalker, age: 32 / 01/23/2014

Dear Anechka!
Nothing in this world is worth our immortal soul. You feel bad here. Will it be easier there? But there is eternity. If you feel bad here, this does not mean that when you leave this world, it will be good there. Maybe it will be even more painful there, in hell, where the demons are. Therefore, leave even these thoughts.
The Lord gave us this life as a precious gift that we must keep, protect and use for the benefit of ourselves and those around us. You are afraid that you will do poorly on the exam and how you will look your relative in the eye. But life is much more responsible. Life is also an exam that must be passed with dignity for eternity in the Kingdom of Heaven. And the answer will have to be given to God. At the Last Judgment we will have to give an account for all our actions, words and thoughts.
Therefore, I advise you to overcome yourself, go to university and start studying. Everything will be fine! It will be bad if you continue to indulge in these thoughts and withdraw into yourself.
I also recommend going to Orthodox church. Don't think that only grandmas go there. God calls everyone to Himself, because He is our Merciful Father. Say your prayers and come out!
God help you, dear sister!

Victoria, age: 19 / 01/23/2014

Anna! First of all, understand one simple thing: you CANNOT evade responsibility. Whatever you do. Even if they didn't do anything. You cannot be "born back". You cannot disappear without a trace. You can see for yourself the dire consequences for parents, teachers, classmates, the reputation of a respected university, and so on. Even admitting himself a hundred times as a weak link, a coward, lazy and stupid.
You have to choose the lesser of two evils. That's the whole secret. It’s better for your daughter to be without higher education or to lose your daughter?! It’s better to cry for the second week or go to the teacher and ask: what should I do to study further? Is it better to sit alone or go to your parents and shout SOS? You don’t want to study: it’s better to quit completely or take an academic course, work for a year, look around what’s what...
Here's how it works. By leaving this life, you will cause maximum pain to those around you. Living unhappily - minimally. If you endure and learn to be happy, everyone around you will become happier. Definitely worth the candle.

Elena Ordinary, age: 38 / 01/23/2014

you met worthy man. He is charming and proactive, invites you to restaurants and movies, organizes mind-blowing weekends, and most importantly -ready to support and solve any of your questions,as soon as the need arises.

But over time, something breaks in the relationship. The initiative is depleted - you have to make decisions more and more often, and the amount of attention on his part also disappears.

You need to ask for help, but he does everything carelessly or even feeds you “breakfast”, citing eternal busyness. This suggests that the man is moredoesn't want to take responsibility in a relationship.

From this article you will learn:

1. What types of men don't take responsibility? How to recognize them?
2. Test: Is a man ready to take responsibility?
3. Why do girls “take away” responsibility from men?
4. How to stop being strong and give responsibility to a man
5. Fatal errors when returning responsibility
6. Is it possible to remove armor? strong woman and gain woman's happiness with a partner?
7. What a woman should not take responsibility for in a relationship

Who is this article for?

This article is dedicated to all girls, women and mothers who want to stop being “strong and independent” and strive to regain and reveal their femininity next to responsible and strong men.

The Growth Phase team hopes that the material will be useful. If it was useful to you, please write in the comments or in private messages on Instagram. Thanks and happy reading!

About responsibility in relationships, irresponsible men, selection and return of responsibility by women

Alla Demidenko, Psychologist-expert 3rd stage of the Woman’s Path “Condition happy woman"at the company Phase of Growth"

2 types of men who do not want to take responsibility:

1) Men with fear of rejection- those who are haunted by the fear of investing in a relationship and not getting anything in return.

This fear may be related to how a man’s first love or significant relationship developed. For example, in ex-girlfriend he invested energy, time, interest, kept his promises, was caring, affectionate, understanding, but she demanded more and more, did not appreciate what he did, and ultimately they quarreled and broke up.

The events of the past were recorded in fears of betrayal and rejection. He is afraid to go through again everything that he once experienced himself, so he prefers not to invest and not become deeply attached.

How to recognize:

Typically, such men need energy exchange with the outside world, but instead of building a harmonious relationship with the woman they love, they prefer to recharge their energy from communicating with friends. He can be the life of the party, the king of parties, but at the same time be absolutely incapable of a long-term relationship.

Sooner or later, such a man will understand that he can achieve truly high goals only by being in a stable relationship. Relationships from which you can not only take, but also invest. The question is, are you ready to help him realize this?

2) Men with immaturity

They live with their mothers for a long time, so they are accustomed to everything being presented to him on a silver platter: they wash his clothes, carefully iron every wrinkle on them, prepare a delicious breakfast and lunch for work, warm him with care and unconditional love.

Even to the detriment of herself, her health and her personal interests. This model of relationship is transferred to relationships with your significant other. As you understand, she doesn’t work there.

Infantile men create families and take a role in them big baby, who needs care, maintenance and unhealthy care. A woman, like a woman, is a man’s responsibility to provide him with decent comfort - that’s what he’s used to. And everything would be nice if such men sincerely understood that only a mother can give and not ask for anything in return.

How to recognize such a man:

Most often, such men do not have a permanent and reliable environment - at most short, frivolous connections and friends from the category of colleagues. Infantile people do not want to invest in relationships that last for years. They simply can't.

5, 10, 20 years of friendship - such anniversaries are celebrated only by those who know how to maintain a “take-give” balance.

Like men from the first category, they will mature and “grow” into a full-fledged relationship. The question is, will you be the woman next to whom the boy will become a real man?

Test: Is a man ready to take responsibility?

Do you want to know if a man is ready to take responsibility?

The Growth Phase team has prepared a test especially for you.

You can learn how to attract only worthy, strong and responsible men in the free online workshop Man: Honest Instructions.

In 5 days you will learn:

• How to revive “incomprehensible” relationships?
• How to attract worthy men and choose one?
• How to create for real happy relationship so that 1+1=11?
• How to become a woman: I want - Do I get?

There are responsible men, and there are irresponsible ones. It depends on you what type you attract and how quickly you can understand that the person next to you will not be able to build a strong relationship with you.

However even responsible and strong men Over time, they stop taking initiative and taking responsibility in relationships. Why do you think?

Cherchez la femme, or reasons when a woman is to blame?

Most often what happens is thatThe woman herself takes responsibility in the relationship.The partner was courageous, responsible, in a word - the real head of the family. But over time, his desire to do something disappears and for a while you can even change roles.

Reason 1: Inability to attract a decent man due to family attitudes

It often happens that a girl has a built-in belief that men are the “weaker” sex, “they are all the same,” “goats,” “you need to rely only on yourself,” and so on. As stated above, this is due to behavior in the family, where women took on male roles.

Why do subconscious attitudes work? For example, when you choose a dress, a smartphone or a car, and stop at a couple of options, your consciousness inevitably notices interesting things in the world around you. Likewise, a consciousness focused on weak men will only notice weak men.

Feeling their superiority, girls subconsciously look for and attract weak men.. They are looking for those who fit into the picture of the world drawn to them by their parents' scenarios.

This model of building a marriage, in which the man is assigned a supporting role, and the woman’s trust is undermined, is often passed down from generation to generation... But each of them wanted not to be the head of the family, to trust the man.

Just realize that right now there are millions of unhappy families in the world who are suffering due to birth attitudes. Millions of unhappy marriages, lonely, frustrated, embittered men and women, millions of unhappy children who face such a future...

Fortunately, this vicious circle can be broken by working with your attitudes. You can learn more about working with attitudes on the Instagram channel of our expert on working with attitudes and generic programs - and on the second stage of the Woman’s Path.

But even if the attitude is overcome, there may be another problem associated with inflated demands and passive aggression towards a man.

Reason 2: “Pushing up” control through lack of gratitude

A man does everything for his woman. This is especially noticeable during the bouquet-candy period, in which both a man and a woman idealize each other: he moves mountains for her, she is grateful and beams with happiness, even if it is a meeting at lunch for 15 minutes, a gift card or “kinder”.

But over time, the euphoria wears off, and the woman begins to appreciate less what the man does. She begins to take something for granted and forgets to thank him, finds flaws in his actions, finds fault, gets offended, gets angry...

Explosion outwards

The partner invests in the relationship, but all his actions are harshly criticized, the phrases “oh, you’re incapable, I didn’t want it that way” are heard more and more often.let me do it myself”, the man sooner or later agrees, which only increases resentment and disappointment. So, over time, a woman takes on the lion's share of male responsibility.

The reason for this is - excessive control, and, perhaps, the subconscious attitude “all men are weak,” which she saw in the example of her parents. Mom “drags” the family on herself, grandmother says that grandfather is “weak” and goes to weed the garden herself...

What remains for a man? WITH high probability sooner or later he will give in under pressure,admits his loss, receives in response disappointment and confirmation that “all men are weak”.

Explosion within

A man keeps his promises, does things, but not in the way the girl expects from him. She doesn’t say anything to his face, but she patiently accumulates all his “mistakes and shortcomings” within herself. Over time, she increasingly reacts to his actions or inactions with insults, silence, barbs and claims.

“You always do this”, “You never finish what you start”, “You are always not like other people”...

Having heard enough of this, a man is filled with negativity, his subconscious equates help with discomfort for the girl and for himself, and the man himself stops trying to do something.

Reason 3. Soft take away of responsibility in the “mother-son” type of relationship

In a relationship where the girl takes on most of the responsibility, a “mother-son” relationship model appears. This is especially noticeable for a man who returns again to the world of comfort, where everything is ready: in addition to the fact that a woman works two jobs, everything at home is washed and ironed, and the refrigerator is filled with pots of food.

The more a woman takes on herself, the less responsibility a man gets. She makes decisions herself, includes the commander and tries to control all internal family processes.

But power over a man does not make her happy - she feels squeezed, but does not understand how to make him want to help her and take everything into his own. strong hands. She wants to be fragile and weak next to a man, but for some reason she can’t.

However, returning to the role of a sweet, feminine “girl” who easily and naturally shifts tasks to a man simply won’t work. Usually this ends with a bias towards the “daughter-father” model with a big and strong “dad” who will make decisions for her and save her from all existing problems.

If you want to learn more about the mother-son, father-daughter relationship models and how they affect our relationships, write about it in the comments. We will appreciate

How to stop being strong and return responsibility to a man

First rule: control of your attention should be 80% on yourself. This is not a call to selfishness, because a woman who puts herself first, for whom I am not the last, but the first letter of the alphabet, attracts men like a powerful electromagnet.

When a woman realizes her self-worth, when she loves and accepts herself in all its manifestations, then with all her appearance she shows that she simply does not agree to anything less. Shespeaks honestly about his desires, is not embarrassed to appear to a man without makeup or funny; You want to take care of such a woman; she brings energy and inspiration to a man.

There are women, after simple communication with whom men move mountains and move stars with their hands.

Weak, but clever woman sets the tone for relationships and this formula is as old as time:if she behaves like a queen, the man next to her becomes a king. By her behavior, a woman tells a man: “If you want to be near me, your attitude towards me should be like this”; she points and gently guides like a woman.

As soon as you stop investing in yourself, a man stops doing the same. A woman who does not invest in herself, does not know how to take care of herself, makes a terrible mistake - she simply cannot demonstrate to her partner what kind of attitude she wants.

What absolutely cannot be done?

1. Make a decision for him; make a decision for you.

It sounds funny, but this is the first mistake of a woman who wants to relieve herself of responsibility. “You are a man, you are in charge and strong, you are in fact obliged!” - this does not work.

Responsibility cannot be transferred, it can only be taken. And in no case should you decide for a man what he should make a decision. It is necessary to create conditions under which he himself wants to take responsibility.

2. Upset the balance in relationships by changing the relationship to “father-daughter”

In an attempt to shift responsibility, a woman rushes from one extreme to another - at first she pretends to be an iron lady, strong and purposeful, tries to keep everything under control, and then decides: “Stop! I'm tired of being strong!"

But simply relaxing and falling back into the state of a little girl who doesn’t want to decide anything, but wants a dress, is not an option.

Placing responsibility for the family on a man, whose maximum before was choosing socks of the same color in a chest of drawers, is a futile idea.

Firstly, just the desire to make your partner strong is not enough. Secondly, it is worth remembering that responsibility in a couple is distributed 50/50 - and we are not talking about financial equality.

Women also have their own area of ​​responsibility, and in a father-daughter relationship, she loses the desire to create, instill confidence in a man and fill him with energy - she is focused only on consumption.

3. Compare with other men and criticize

Many women think that comparison with a friend’s successful and serious husband will force him to reconsider his behavior. It's the other way around.

A man perceives comparison with others as: “I don’t respect you!”, “You’re not capable of anything!”

Let's say more: women are excellent at speaking without saying a word. If there is a feeling of disbelief in a partner inside, a man feels it perfectly - in his eyes, facial expressions, gestures.

Therefore, it is not enough to just watch what you say. A man reads what a woman conveys to him, namely, the feeling of his inadequacy as a man. So, the first thing you need to work with is the internal state.

It won't be easy, but YOU CAN DO IT!

Changing someone in charge is a difficult period for both you and the man. It will hurt him, it will hurt you.At first, all his decisions and actions will seem wrong, but this is only because they are not yours.There will be a desire to give advice, correct, show how it should be done, but this is all out of fear of losing control.

Be prepared for the fact that there will be a very difficult transition period when you do a lot, invest a lot, but no results are visible. You plowed the soil, loosened it, sowed the seeds, watered them, but there are no shoots yet.

A man can continue to behave as before for a long time - the habit of living according to a new scenario is not developed in one day. It's worth learning patience and continuingbehave like a woman - but not in order to get something later, but because it is right.

And when your man begins to feel a sense of responsibility, it is important not to shift onto him what you are responsible for.

For which under no circumstances should responsibility be given

- in all my life

Don't blame anyone for the fact that you feel bad - only you are responsible for your life. It is your actions, reactions and thoughts that create your world.

- for your emotional state

You shouldn't expect a man to cheer you up when you feel bad or need support. Sometimes he just may not understand it. Take a step forward: ask him to hug, talk to you, ask him to pay attention to you. But remember that men are ready to listen to complaints only if they intend to solve them.

If you feel you need his help, use the concept of “I messages.” If you need advice or support, you just need to ask, and not wait for the man to turn on psychic abilities and understand what's in your head.

- for your energy and fullness

You shouldn't sacrifice something important to yourself for the sake of a man. Then it begins: “I spent on you best years life”, “I gave up for you...”, “Everything I do is just for you!”

Energy level is a woman's area of ​​responsibility. Only you yourself are responsible for what you fill yourself with and how you feel.

- for reading thoughts and fulfilling unspoken desires

A girl who has learned to express her thoughts without offense, from whom she does not sound like complaints; a girl who knows how to ask like a woman always gets what she wants in exchange only for her fortune and a smile.

Thank you for reading the article to the end!