How to wean a person from gambling addiction. Husband is a gambling addict: what to do. Choosing the right alternative

The attraction to gambling is by no means a harmless whim, but a dangerous condition in which a person can instantly lose his property. Poker, slots, lottery, slot machines - the entire industry is built in such a way as to pump out of the “client” exactly as much money as he has. As in the case of alcoholism and drug addiction, tolerance develops very quickly, and at some point it is impossible to cope with the disease on your own.

This is a painful attraction to gambling (poker, roulette, sports betting). Gambling addiction knows no age or gender restrictions: both young schoolchildren and older women can become its victims.

Thus, a 55-year-old resident of one of the Russian cities spent over $100,000 on gambling over the course of a year, and in order to hide this fact from her family, she imitated the commission of illegal actions against her.

Signs of gambling addiction:

  • Loss of control. Stopping, “getting up from the table” for a gambling addict is as difficult a test as for an alcoholic - giving up alcohol.
  • Unmotivated risk. Regardless of the chosen entertainment, the player places extremely high bets and does not stop after losses.
  • Change in mental state. A person becomes irritable, aggressive, calms down only during the game, and the result becomes unimportant for him.
  • Loss of alternative interests. Like any other form of addiction, gambling addiction leads to problems at work, in school, and deterioration of relationships within the family.
  • Increase in the amount of time spent on the game. Gradually, all a person’s leisure time is reduced to betting, casinos, and sites where you can “try your luck.”

Why do people become addicted to gambling?

The main problem is the availability of entertainment: the majority of addicts choose Internet gambling. Sports betting, poker, roulette, blackjack, craps, lottery - to plunge into the abyss of excitement you need to spend a minimum of time. Since gambling addiction has been studied more in Western countries, in Japan and the USA, experts identify several reasons for the uncontrollable craving for this entertainment:

  • Need for thrills. Wins and losses give a person a very strong emotional shock, and to repeat it, the size of the bets must be constantly increased.
  • Wrong upbringing. Often it is parents who instill in their child a love of excitement, playing dominoes, cards with him, or buying him lottery tickets.
  • Getting stuck on material values. Games give a false sense of quick wealth, easy money that can be obtained without significant investments, and arrogant people often fall victim to this misconception.
  • Irresponsibility. Living exclusively “today,” even with a family, is an important factor in the development of gambling addiction.

Who is more susceptible to gambling addiction: women or men?

Determining the exact number of addicts is extremely difficult, but most often it is the representatives of the stronger sex who face this problem. Firstly, they have the money that is required for gambling. Secondly, men are more purposeful and focused on success. Thirdly, the entertainment itself (for example, casinos) is more focused on the stronger sex.

But this does not mean that women do not suffer from gambling addiction. In South Korea, the USA, and Japan, there is a real scourge of RPGs: online entertainment with the ability to identify with a character. Since the advent of the game, girls and women have become the most active audience.

Psychological aspects of addiction

Gambling addiction manifests itself in different ways, includes 3 stages and a whole range of misconceptions. At the first stage, the addict only gets involved in the excitement, gradually increases the stakes, and loses alternative entertainment. At the second stage, the gambler loses the ability to stop, boasts of winnings (often fictitious), and plunges into debt.

The third stage is full-fledged addiction, which is almost impossible to overcome. Complete isolation from temptations, switching to alternative entertainment, and correction of psychological problems are required.

How to deal with a gambling addict?

Are you faced with the fact that your husband is addicted to gambling? The behavior pattern depends on personal characteristics specific person and cannot be universal. Under no circumstances should you indulge a painful addiction or give money to cover debts. Only a complete cessation of gambling will help a person return to normal life. Financial assistance is provided only after the start of treatment, and problem solving is provided only for a specific result.

Gambling addiction and legislation

Over the past 2 decades, the painful craving for gambling has been recognized at the official level. IN currently A gambler may, at the request of interested parties (wife, government agencies), have his rights limited. The ban on the disposal of property and the possession of large sums of money is effective, but it only fights the consequences of the problem, and not its very essence.

Is it possible to fight gambling addiction?

Gambling addiction is treatable, especially in early age and if the patient is motivated. There are cases where people dealt with addiction on their own. But it is easier to achieve an effect with the help of specialists who are proficient in treatment methods and understand the psychology of their patient. A negative experience can become an impetus for overcoming a crisis: a major loss, trouble, a breakup with his wife, etc.

Advice for relatives of people with gambling addiction:

  • Don't pay off the gambling addict's debts;
  • Do not try to act from a position of strength: the effectiveness of scandals and quarrels is zero;
  • Try to understand the causes of addiction;
  • Don’t leave the gambling addict alone with his problems, but don’t become a universal “lifesaver” either;
  • Do everything you can to convince the person to get treatment.

Video The Curse of Gamblers

Drug addiction?

Get a consultation now

Oh, I didn’t think, I didn’t imagine that someday this problem would affect our family, but it just so happened. I want to tell you about our experience - how to get rid of gambling addiction. The story that happened in our family is not the most pleasant, but it seems to me that such things can and should be talked about - it can help someone recover or heal loved one.

Unfortunately, more and more ordinary people without any bad habits are becoming gambling addicts - from teenagers to very elderly people, but people aged 23-45 are most susceptible to this scourge. As you can imagine, the range is very large.

I’ll tell you a little about our family so that you understand what’s what. We helped my brother recover from gambling addiction, he was completely successful man- he has his own home, a car, a small business and a pretty wife. It would seem that a person has everything that is possible, but apparently something was still missing.

In our family there is a negative attitude towards alcohol and other methods of expanding consciousness, and I am almost sure that my brother never drank anything stronger than beer or champagne in New Year. However, he could not cope with his problem on his own; he needed help first from his wife, and then from all family members.

How addiction to gambling and slot machines occurs

The main reason for the development of addiction to slot machines and other gambling is that a person develops a reflex. The principle of gambling addiction (as gambling addiction is correctly called) is similar to drug and alcohol addiction. You do something specific and immediately enjoy it.

There is another aspect, no less important. I don’t know about you, but in our family it has always been customary to achieve what we want, to try different approaches. Already when we were trying to cure my brother, we talked to him, and he said that he remembered his expectations and thoughts from the gameplay. You bet - it doesn't work. How did it happen? It should work! And this quagmire is sucking us deeper and deeper every day.

What is bad about an addiction like gambling addiction is the lack of restrictions. It would seem that all dependencies can be described as a violation of some boundaries, but now you will understand what I mean.

Let's say a person can drink several bottles of vodka. Expensive or not, high-quality or scorched. But he can't drink her tank. The story is similar with drugs. And if a person has signs of gambling addiction, then he can lose any amount in one evening.

My brother started playing slot machines and spent 100-500 rubles on it per evening. Not a lot of money, it did not affect his family budget in any way, and for a very long time even his wife did not know that her husband had a gambling addiction. Before we knew it, the stakes on his games reached five figures.

How to determine whether a loved one has an addiction

Like any psychiatric disorder, gambling addiction has its own symptoms. Unfortunately, a person most often has no idea that it’s time to worry, but if you see any of the signs described below in your husband, brother, father or any other loved one, it’s time to sound the alarm.

By the way, I most often talk about the fact that men are susceptible to gambling addiction, and I forget about women. In fact, there are slightly fewer women who want to recover from gambling addiction. So, the signs of gambling addiction:

  1. A person often plays for large sums of money (more than his budget can afford).
  2. He also often sets aside certain amounts for his entertainment - this becomes a regular expense item.
  3. There is no sense of time - a person enters a casino or game room, and can spend there from several hours to several days.
  4. There is a desire to raise the stakes in order to experience pleasure.
  5. A person becomes aggressive and irritable if he does not have time to play.
  6. The person has tried many times to “quit”, that is, he partially assesses his condition as obsessive.
  7. With the help of the game I want to distract myself from the troubles of life.
  8. The game and gaming establishment become more significant than any other social objects or phenomena.
  9. A person returns to gambling despite the fact that it frankly interferes with his life.
All you have to do is mention it to yourself or someone close to you. three points from this list in order to suspect the presence of addiction. If we are talking about teenagers, then enough one point to start worrying.

In our case, it was my brother’s wife who became worried. At first she thought that her husband had a mistress - this is not my brother’s style, but nevertheless, it occurred to her. And I understand her - a person can be suspected of anything if he is clearly hiding something, looks irritated, nervous and tired.

Then she also noted that money began to disappear from the family. Unfortunately, she did not have the courage to talk to me or our parents about this situation, and she continued to struggle with her thoughts alone. When suddenly my brother didn’t come to spend the night, then we found out that something was happening to him, and this whole story came to light about him going to casinos and gambling machines.

How to treat

That’s when we all started thinking about how to get rid of gambling addiction. The decision was clear - we will fight and treat him.

Olechka, his wife, was also determined to fight for her husband, and this made me happy - on the one hand, life with an addicted person is clearly not easy, and I would understand her if she decided to leave. On the other hand, it was already difficult for him to overcome his illness, and it seems to me that he would not have endured a divorce.

First of all, we all went together to consult a doctor - we needed an authoritative opinion and direction of action.

Doctors' opinion

The main thing that is required for successful treatment is to accept the fact of gambling addiction. The patient must agree that this is an addiction, and it bothers him.

The next thing that relatives need to do (and if we are talking about adolescent addiction, then parents) is to take a firm position and define it. Playing is bad, spending money on it is bad, the family is against it, and if everything continues like this, then you can lose your family.

Gambling addiction can and should be treated - it is a disease, and not at all a mental disorder or a bad habit. Such a person should be treated with the involvement of doctors - relatives and friends are unlikely to cope with this task on their own, and codependent relationships may arise that will cause even greater harm to the family.

How to treat? The doctor must answer this question. I can only speak about our situation - my brother was helped by a good doctor who prescribed him several sedative medications (I do not give the names here for reasons of medical ethics and the safety of readers - the medications must be prescribed by a doctor!) and psychotherapy.

In addition, family support undoubtedly helped. We strictly explained that it was not that he was spending money - this was the reason for our first conflict with my brother; it seemed to him that we were simply forbidding him to play for mercantile reasons.

It was very difficult to convey to him that he was ruining himself and his family. That he found an outlet in this, and this is a false outlet, it does not bring him happiness. Psychotherapy helped a lot - first individual, and then group - once in the group, it was easier for my brother to agree that this disease can really be treated, and successfully at that.

Now my brother doesn’t play, and I hope he never starts again - the whole family is keeping their finger on the pulse.

I would like to give special advice to parents of those teenagers who pay a lot of attention to gambling. Remember that teenagers are almost always at risk, and pay more attention to them. Better to play it safe.

And don’t forget that gambling for real money is possible even on your mobile phone and home computer - just go to the online casino website to start playing. Unfortunately, it is very, very difficult to control this.

Try to assess the teenager’s condition using the signs that I have given, and if you have the slightest doubt, go to a psychologist.

It is quite natural to experience such a feeling, but if you are in the process of making the right decision, it is better to get rid of such a feeling. Remember, once you learn to make the right decisions and get the necessary support from loved ones, it will be much easier to fight such impulses. The following strategies will help you:

  • Ask for help. Call a close family member or friend and talk to them about it over a cup of coffee. Go to a psychotherapist.
  • Do something else. Distract yourself with other activities, even cleaning the house can help, go to the gym, watch a movie on TV.
  • Put it off until later. If you really want to play a game of chance, tell yourself that you will do it in five minutes, in fifteen minutes, in an hour - put it off for as long as you can. While you wait, the impulse to play may pass or weaken enough for you to resist.
  • Visualize. Imagine what will happen if you give in to impulse. Think about how you will feel without money, how you have again disappointed yourself and your family.
  • Avoid loneliness. If you gamble to be social, try more healthy image establish social connections. Do volunteer work, find old and forgotten friends, make new ones.

If you can't resist the urge to gamble, don't use it as an excuse to give up. Overcoming gambling addiction is a difficult task. You will relapse from time to time, but it is important to learn from your mistakes and continue to work on your recovery.

How to help a family member who is a gambling addict.

If your relative has a gambling problem, he or she may:

  • Become more defensive about gambling. The more a gambler becomes immersed in the process, the more he will want to protect his passion as a way to make money. Your relative may become secretive, and even blame you for his need to play, saying that it is all for your sake and you just need to believe in a “big win” in the future.
  • Suddenly hide the financial state of affairs. A loved one may have a sudden desire to control household expenses, or a sharp lack of money may be discovered in the context of their previous income and spending. Savings may suddenly disappear, or they will be needed to “lend to a friend.”
  • Feeling desperate because of lack of money. Your loved one constantly asks or borrows money from friends or relatives. Decorations are missing from the house.

How to Help with a Gambling Problem

Compulsive and problem gamblers often need the support of their family and friends to help them overcome their unhealthy gambling addiction. But they must make the decision to quit playing on their own. From the outside, you will never be able to get a problem gambler to quit gambling.

If you have a family member with a gambling problem, you may have conflicting feelings. It is quite possible that you will begin to cover up this addiction and spend a lot of time and money trying to keep him from gambling. And at the same time, you will experience anger and irritation for another loss. A gambling addict will borrow or steal your money without returning it, and sell family property to cover huge debts. And when faced with the consequences of his actions, the gambling addict will also experience a collapse of self-esteem. This is one of the reasons for the high suicide rate among problem gamblers.

Guide to action:

  • Start by helping yourself. You have the right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don't blame yourself for your gambler problems. Support can help you make positive choices for yourself and support your loved one in the right way. Provide assistance without losing yourself in the process.
  • Don't go through this alone. Dealing with a loved one's gambling addiction is very difficult. This can cause overwhelming feelings. Do not rationalize the problem by explaining it with the phrase “that was the last time.” You may feel ashamed, thinking that these problems are only happening to you. But that's not true. In our country, a huge number of families are struggling and have already overcome this scourge. Talk to people. Read the forums. If you are having a particularly difficult time coping, seek help from a therapist. In any case, it is necessary to understand this situation and not let everything take its course. A gambler in the family causes mixed and complex feelings.
  • Set boundaries in financial matters. If your loved one is serious about getting treatment for gambling addiction, it would be best if you took care of the family expenses yourself to make sure that the problem gambler does not have the opportunity to relapse. However, this does not make you responsible for controlling his urges to play. Your first responsibility is to ensure that you are completely financially secure.
  • Think about how you will respond to a request for money. Addicted gamblers are quite successful at begging for money, directly or indirectly. They may use begging, pleading, manipulation, and threats to get what they want. It will take time and practice to learn how to react and respond to his demands correctly, and make sure that you do not stimulate the player with your behavior and do not lose your dignity.

What you can and cannot do if your loved one is an addicted gambler

Can:

  • Seek support among people with the same problems on forums and groups.
  • Tell your children about problem gambling.
  • Notice the positive qualities of a loved one with addiction.
  • Stay calm when talking with an addicted gambler about losses and their consequences.
  • Let the addict know that you also need support because this situation is negatively affecting you and your children.
  • Understand the need for treatment for gambling addiction, despite a large number of the time it will take.
  • Control family finances.

It is forbidden:

  • Instruct, lecture, or allow yourself to lose control of your anger.
  • Threaten, set ultimatums if you do not intend to fulfill them.
  • Isolate the player from family life and activities.
  • Expect immediate recovery or resolution of all problems once gambling stops.
  • Pay the player's debts.
  • Deny or hide the existence of the problem from yourself, family and people around you.

Gambling addiction (gambling addiction) is one of the most widespread problems of our time. It affects different people social status and different age categories.

In terms of severity, gambling addiction is equated to drug and alcohol addiction. This powerful element conquers human minds all over the world. A striking example of the growth of the gaming trend is the number of users of the World of Warcraft game. More than 4000 million people became the owners of the official version. We can only guess how many gamers use pirated versions of gaming platforms.

People with gambling addiction lose their sense of reality. The urge to play interferes with their daily tasks. All thoughts, aspirations and intentions of a gamer are directly related to computer games or gambling.

A person loses interest in the world around him, close people, professional activities and studies. They forget about their responsibilities to loved ones, abandon their own goals, directing all their efforts to finding themselves in the gaming world. You can't turn a blind eye to this. A harmless hobby can turn serious psychological problem. We may not pay attention to a problem for a long time if it does not concern our family and friends. Awareness comes when young gambling addicts lose interest in studies, sports, and music. Gambling addiction in adults threatens the loss of work and family.

Treatment of gambling addiction

But what if your beloved husband, dear child, or reliable friend becomes a gambling addict? What to do if your relationship goes downhill and someone close to you turns into a zombie? There is only one way out - awareness of the problem in order to get rid of it. Treating gambling addiction can be difficult. Like any pathological addiction, it is firmly rooted in the life of the person who gambles. Knowing ways to get rid of gambling addiction can save the human psyche and destiny.

How to get rid of gambling addiction?

Treatment of gambling addiction involves the use of different psychological techniques and ways. Let's list the most effective of them.

  1. Prevention of gambling addiction.

    Make sure that casinos and online slot machines do not transform from entertainment into a terrible problem. Don't allow yourself or a loved one to lose more than 3-5% of your monthly income. Don't go beyond these boundaries. Don't try to "get even." Then you won’t be faced with the question of how to get rid of gambling addiction when everything has already gone too far. As for computer games, there should also be strict measures. You can allow your child or yourself to play for half an hour to distract yourself. But after this time there should be no excuses. The gameplay must be over unconditionally. Blocking the growth of gambling interest is the principle that is pursued in the prevention of gambling addiction.

  2. Awareness of the problem is the first and most difficult step in treating gambling addiction.

    We reinforce our visit to a casino, online gambling or lottery with the desire to improve our financial well-being. Computer gaming addiction is perceived by a gambler as a way to escape and have a good time. In fact, not many people managed to get rich this way. And the addiction to computer games takes everything away free time gamer, occupies all his thoughts, interferes with self-realization. Until you understand that gambling addiction is a serious problem, you will remain ignorant and will destroy your psyche and life step by step.

  3. Treatment of gambling addiction with strong emotions.

    Gambling is a source of adrenaline. Process computer game replenishes reserves of the hormone dopamine. Find another activity that will be a source of happiness and pleasure for you. A new hobby will help you more easily and painlessly replace your addiction to slot machines.

  4. Suppressing the desire to play.

    You need to consciously approach the situation. Realizing that gaming is an escape from reality for you is the first step towards getting rid of gaming addiction. In the most difficult cases, techniques are used to suppress the subconscious desire to play. The most effective techniques are hypnosis and suggestion.

  5. Motivation.

    Are you looking for an answer to the question of how to get rid of gambling addiction? Then find a powerful one. Without strong goals and powerful attitudes, it will be difficult to get rid of the problem. Give your brain a target for action. Think about what you are depriving yourself of by spending time in the game. Set a new goal in life without leaving yourself time to strengthen your addiction.

  6. Reward.

    Reward yourself with something pleasant for your success. Buying a new thing, going to the movies, traveling, tasty food– those small prizes that you can afford. This way, addiction to slot machines will be replaced by something more enjoyable. from the lack of gameplay will be replaced by new ones positive emotions. Of course, this issue needs to be approached consciously: you cannot replace a gaming addiction with an alcoholic one or start overdoing it with food.

  7. Employment.

    People with gambling addiction should not suffer from. It is the main reason for increased addiction. Idleness can provoke a breakdown. Load yourself with work, sports, music. Look for new activities. Start improving your professional competencies. Do everything so that you do not have any free time. If we are talking about a child, then keep him busy in any way possible. Assign him responsibility for the house, write him down sports section. Don't forget about encouragement.

    Clear goals and control over the problem will help you get rid of this addiction. Surround your loved one with warmth and care. Don't forget about motivation and encouragement. The main thing is to bring a person back to life, to make him forget about his addiction. And the main rule in the question of how to get rid of gambling addiction: show the gambling addict how many interesting things there are in life for pleasure and joy, let him feel it.

How to wean your husband from playing and do everything so that he overcomes this harmful and dangerous addiction? It doesn’t matter at all what form of gambling addiction your husband suffers from - he is a gambling addict: he plays slot machines or poker. The important thing is that such activities cause irreparable damage not only to the family budget, but also to your relationships. You are probably looking for information about how to treat gambling addiction and whether it is possible. Rest assured, it is quite possible to overcome such a disease, and you can help your spouse do this by using our advice.

How to treat gambling addiction in your husband

Talk to your spouse first if possible. Find out what prompted him to start playing. Sometimes people become gamblers because financial problems. It seems like all it takes is a little luck to make a fortune.

However, after the first minor win, as a rule, there is a serious loss. This is followed by attempts to recoup - and now, the person himself no longer notices how he finds himself in a vicious circle from which it is impossible to get out.

Sometimes gambling addiction occurs under the influence of family problems. Do you often quarrel, and the situation at home is tense to the limit? It is not surprising that the husband begins to look for a way to relax, to escape from worries. By the way, problems at work can also provoke this behavior. So, the most important thing is to eliminate the cause, and only then you can try to treat your husband’s gambling addiction.

Remember that gambling addiction is the same disease as drug addiction and alcoholism. This means that it must be treated. Contact a psychologist - he will recommend an effective technique that will help you understand how to treat your husband’s gambling addiction. Even if your spouse is categorically against visiting a psychologist, talk to a specialist yourself - you will learn a lot of useful things.

If there is no other choice, just hide all the money in the house. My husband will have some kind of stash left over. Having spent it, he will actually be left without a livelihood and will understand that money needs to be spent wisely and on other purposes. Another option is to agree that the husband will take a certain percentage of the salary and play for it. Only, of course, this approach, although it will ensure peace in the family, will still not cure the husband’s gambling addiction, and sooner or later he will definitely break down.

Threaten to leave if the games don't stop. Give the person a choice: either you or the game. If a man is still able to prioritize, he will choose you. If the game turns out to be more important, then your relationship does not make sense - look for a person who will love only you.

Husband is a gambling addict: what to do

How to treat your husband's gambling addiction if his hobby simply poisons your life? Is there any chance at all to change the situation and normalize the microclimate in the family? Let's talk about this today.

To begin with, it is very important to determine the reason why slot machines became a part of your spouse's life. This often happens under the influence of negative circumstances. Constant quarrels in the family, an unstable financial situation, problems at work, accumulated fatigue - all this leads to the fact that a person begins to look for an opportunity to relax and forget about all the troubles.

The machines help him with this. Although, of course, such an effect is fiction. In fact, slot machines are the real “eaters” of time and money. The husband, a gambling addict, has no energy or time left for his family, work, or hobbies. More and more he is captivated by the machines, and then a seemingly harmless hobby can develop into a serious problem.

So, initially, determine what exactly contributes to increasing your spouse’s interest in slot machines. As far as possible, make sure that negative factors are not present in your husband’s life, then interest in the game will decrease.

It’s good if there is a trusting atmosphere in your family and you can talk about a variety of topics. Try to talk to your husband and find out what exactly bothers him and why he started playing. Once you understand this, you can think about how to wean your spouse off slot machines.

It is believed that gambling addiction is a disease that is on a par with alcoholism and drug addiction. Therefore, do not hope that you can cure it yourself. To do this, it is best to consult a psychologist. He will definitely give you some useful tips. It’s great if your spouse agrees to undergo treatment voluntarily - then you won’t have to think about how to wean your husband off slot machines.

If your husband is a gambling addict constantly losing money, just say that this month he will live exclusively on his salary. And even if a person spends all his money on slot machines, do not lend him money under any circumstances - let him borrow money elsewhere and at the same time think about the fact that he could eat for a whole month with the lost amount.

Rest assured, if you wish, you can help your spouse get rid of gambling addiction.

"Hello! Tell me how to cure my husband of gambling addiction? My husband plays cards. Playing cards changed him a lot. He began to stay late from work, became withdrawn and irritable. I feel like I'm losing him. I tried to talk to him that his passion would not end well. That this is a game of chance that you can get involved in and lose everything. He answered me that he really liked playing cards and he would decide for himself when to stop playing.

Then it turned out that he had lost a certain amount of money. We talked again. He promised, once again, to quit. But it turned out that he began to deceive me and still continues to play. I don’t recognize him and am constantly thinking about how to treat my husband’s gambling addiction.

He is bored at work and will play cards no matter what. That I had read all sorts of rubbish and got it into my head that his game was too long. That he is trying for his family, that he just learned to play and began to win, and I am in his way. He can't concentrate like the other guys who play with him. Their wives don’t nag them like I do, and they say they play great, and they always have a lot of money in their pockets. Well, I was late for a couple of hours - no big deal.

I don’t know what to think, what to do, how to treat my husband’s gambling addiction, maybe I’m saying something wrong or behaving incorrectly, maybe I’m complicating everything too much or I’ve screwed myself up. Help, please, advise what should I do? How to cure your husband from gambling addiction? Don't ignore my message!!! I just can't find a place for myself. The family is on the verge of collapse. Claudia Danilova.

How to cure your husband's gambling addiction, answers psychologist Elena Poryvaeva

Your husband has become interested in playing cards for money, you do not approve of his hobbies and are afraid that your relationship may collapse because of him. The game has become a kind of “bone of discord.” Previously, your relationship was built on mutual understanding, respect and love.

Now the husband has become irritable and withdrawn, began to stay late at work and deceive you. You tend to think that it is the game that has such a negative effect on your husband and changes his behavior. You want to prevent danger, not allow the game to take over your husband. In other words, negative influence games you seek to counteract your own, positive influence.

Gambling can indeed be a serious temptation and cause addiction, just like alcohol. But many people drink alcohol, but not everyone becomes dependent on it.

You are scared negative consequences and you try to warn, to protect your husband from harm, but behind this also lies your distrust of your husband, doubt in his ability to control himself and be responsible for his actions. It seems to me that the husband’s response (irritability, protest, isolation, frequent absences) is due to the fact that he feels your distrust. Perhaps he wants to prove to both you and himself that you are wrong about him.

There is no agreement between you and your husband regarding his hobbies. You do not have to agree with him and have the right to your point of view. You can express your disagreement, but the question is how to express it and for what purpose.

It seemed to me that your actions are aimed not only at curing gambling addiction in your husband, but also at convincing your husband, and therefore forcing him to do something that he does not agree with and does not want to do. In concentrated form, it looks something like this: “Your hobby is wrong and harmful, you should give it up. You are mistaken, but I know better what you should do.” This cannot be perceived otherwise than as pressure that meets resistance: “I am autonomous and capable of answering for myself.”

Regardless of whether your fears are valid or not, you cannot make the “gamble or quit” decision for your husband and cure your husband’s gambling addiction. He must want to recover from gambling addiction himself. This solution is the same as possible mistakes- the choice and responsibility that lie with him. Allow yourself to internally accept this and defend, even in such difficult conditions for you, the principle of mutual respect and trust, which was previously the basis of your relationship.