One study showed that only 50% of the people we consider our friends agree with this definition. Many people often spend time together, but this does not mean that such relationships can be called friendship. Each person has their own motivation for maintaining close relationships.

Some believe that a large number of friends creates a positive image or is guided by pragmatic arguments about the benefits of the alliance. Even if a friendship began with mutual interest, over time it can fade and the friendship turn into a burden. What are the signs that indicate it’s time to end the relationship?

Egocentrism

A sure sign of a toxic union is comparison. loved one with a circle of acquaintances, to indicate that most of them are more interesting people. Such stories often express an enthusiastic opinion not only about their merits, but also about how interesting and fruitful the time spent together was. Such stories make a gullible person feel bored and jealous.

Friends show mutual interest in events in the lives of each of them. When the relationship has already cracked, you can notice that throughout the entire time of communication, all conversations come down to discussing news from the life of one member of the duet. In this case, it is worth asking the question, to what extent can such relations be considered friendly if there is room in them for only one person?

One gate play

Honesty in relationships is perhaps the most important factor in mutual trust. Friends can criticize each other, helping to see a situation or action from the other side. But if criticism and discussion concern only one person, and the words and actions of the second friend cannot be questioned, then the relationship has become toxic.

In cases where a friend is unhappy with a haircut or thinks it’s time to lose a few extra pounds and points out shortcomings without the slightest sympathy or constructive suggestion, then this is a desire to humiliate the interlocutor, and not a constructive dialogue.

Suppression

Complex and unpredictable, but not friendly, can be called those relationships in which one of the friends is afraid to say something “wrong”. It happens that one of the duet members constantly shows anger and dissatisfaction with the other party, creating constant tension and experiencing a feeling of anger towards his friend.

It is also worth paying attention to how often a friend initiates a meeting. If meetings are held only at the initiative of one party, this may mean that the other person does not contribute to the communication, perhaps even trying to ignore invitations to meetings. The flip side of neglect is excessive tenacity - it is impossible to devote all of one’s free time one person and neglect their own needs.

Manipulation

Good friends sometimes they quarrel, and that's part of it healthy relationships. It does not happen that two people evaluate actions or words in the same way; disagreements enrich the worldview and make people richer. But, if one of the friends constantly points out mistakes to the other, criticizes or makes humiliating remarks, then this is a sign of manipulation. Especially if the criticizing person considers himself right in everything, offering to accept one point of view - his own.

Friendships are not relationships in which one person becomes dependent on the mood of the other person. Experts believe that if one of the friends shows inconsistency and unpredictability of behavior, then this is a sign that there is no spiritual closeness in the relationship. For example, two friends had a great and confidential conversation on the phone, and the next day one of them ignores the other or pretends that they are strangers to each other, which forces the other to ask vain questions about his mistakes.

Weigh everything

Sometimes painful relationships are not as easy to end as they seem at first glance. Psychologist Jan Jager in his book “When Friendship Hurts” clarifies that even close people can hurt each other. Often toxicity in relationships manifests itself sporadically, and the rest of the time a friend comes to the rescue in difficult situations, helps out when help is needed, and provides moral and intellectual support.

In this case, it is worth weighing all the pros and cons, because ideal people do not exist. Before making a decision, you need to remember how often a person breaks his promises, makes secrets entrusted to him the property of a wide circle of strangers, or, responding to an offer of joint leisure, takes this step in the form of a favor. If you have more negative impressions from the relationship, you shouldn’t stay in it and ruin your life by destroying your faith in yourself and other people.

What's stopping you from breaking up?

Often toxic relationships do not end, but last for years, and the indecisiveness of the suffering party is to blame. In this case, it is necessary to understand why dependent relationships have become the norm:

• Many people are afraid of being alone. According to psychologists, this is the most common fear that forces people to tolerate each other. But if a person is friendly, sociable and open, then a new friendship will certainly take place.
• The past together was joyful. Old friendships crumble slowly, but even if people had warm relationships in the past, you should not spoil the memories with current irritation and mutual claims. Most often, a long-term union is difficult to break, but it is even worse to turn it into a farce.
• Decide on emotions. If one person’s friendship is dominated by anger, fear, love and irritation, then you need to understand which of the raging emotions is stronger, and then make a choice in favor of breaking up or continuing.
• “I deserve it,” this may be the thought of one of your friends who is constantly being criticized or ridiculed. A person may believe that he is imperfect, that he needs to achieve an ideal or cultivate some special qualities of character, and then everything will work out. But most likely these are instilled beliefs. Why would a person be on friendly terms with someone who demands perfection without being ideal himself?
• Fear of judgment. All people have a social circle; friends often have mutual acquaintances. In the event of a breakup, friends will have to choose a side. Often this means confrontation, a struggle of arguments and the release of secrets and secrets for public discussion. To get out of a toxic friendship with dignity, you should try to distance yourself from future conflicts in order to avoid rumors, gossip and accusations.

Friendship makes our life more interesting and richer. Many are sure that love can end, but true friendship will last until death. Sometimes this is the reason why a toxic union does not break up. There is no need to worry - true friends appear in life regardless of age, position or time. Fate gives such a gift to everyone.

Friendship or love, how to determine? How to understand what connects a guy and a girl, because there is often a rather thin line between friendship and love relationships.

If you have doubts about what connects you, take time and analyze each other's behavior in different situations, remember the times when you felt love, and compare with how you feel for your friend now. If there is a similarity, then one can suspect love.

Signs of how to determine what it is: friendship or love?

So, what is between you: friendship or love, how to determine? There are 10 signs that indicate love.

1. Physical contact. A constant desire to hug, hold hands, as well as the habit of kissing on the cheek. The fact is that loving person always looking for contact, although he doesn’t allow himself anything serious.
2. Jokes. Other characteristic love relationship- the desire to joke and tease each other: “what muscles you have!”, “you’re a beauty,” “good, villainess.” It seems to be nothing serious, but at the same time there are a lot of compliments.
3. Interest. A person who has an uneasy relationship with his friend always asks ambiguous questions, for example: “Where were you today, why didn’t you call all day, did you hang out with someone today?” to check if there was some kind of romantic encounter with him. by someone else. And don’t believe that he is doing this out of curiosity.
4. He is always there. If your friend spends all day with you, you visit together Gym, theaters, exhibitions, running together in the morning - this indicates that he does not want to part with you, because you are not just a friend for him. Otherwise, he would definitely have things to do that are not related to you.
5. Jealousy. Even if he supports you in front romantic date, gives parting words on how best to behave with a new acquaintance, know that he suffers greatly at the same time. Of course, he will not be jealous of everyone, but if you start talking about how nice you had time with a new friend, then perhaps he will not be able to restrain himself - he will get angry, stop listening, or switch the conversation to another topic.
6. There is no “I” - there is “we”. When two people love, there is no concept of “I,” they have everything in common. Friends have their own lives. They, of course, walk side by side in life and have a lot of things to do together, but only love makes people one.
7. Influence. Of course, our friends influence our choice, for example, of clothes, a university or a car model, but a loved one has great authority in these matters. A friend in love begins to perceive his life through the prism of his loved one. This doesn't happen between friends.
8. My friend is the best. Of course, it’s great when you find a person who is your best friend, but you will still find flaws in him. But it’s hard to see anything bad in a friend you’re in love with; he’s often idealized.
9. Common goals. Only people can have a future together romantic couples. Friends who may have completely identical opinions on many issues, from religion, politics to lifestyle, will never have common life goals.
10. Support. A friend will never leave you in trouble, even if you call him in the middle of the night, telling him about your troubles, but, unlike a lover, he will show selfishness - he will interrupt his emotional outpourings when he gets tired, he will not go to the ends of the world because of the whim of a friend and will not risk your life to score points in the eyes of your comrade. The lover will embody the qualities of all superheroes who will come to the rescue at any moment when called upon.

Having found out who is in front of you - a friend or a lover, it will be easier to build relationships, especially if you reciprocate. And who knows what your reverent friendship will develop into? Perhaps into a strong marriage, because first of all there should be camaraderie and complete mutual understanding between the spouses!

Friendship is one of the phenomena that makes our lives better. A friend will always support, help and cheer you up in a sad moment.

But what if friendship instead brings only sadness, despair and anxiety? It seems that you are building illusions, and there has been no friendship for a long time, only a habit remains.

How to determine whether a friendship is alive or not, the following 8 signs will help you.

1. You are the only one who stays in touch.

It’s unpleasant to realize that only you need communication with this person, while he is doing just fine without you in his life.

Such friendship can easily be called one-sided and false, because harmony and mutual understanding are simply absent.

How long will all this last? Until the one who is in need finds a friend who will be more responsive, or until the one who is needed gets tired of the intrusiveness of the first.

2. You feel a sense of competition

Work, family, home – you want everything to be better than your friend’s. But is friendship made for competition? Rather, for support and mutual assistance.

If the feeling of competition haunts you all the time, then there is a chance that this is not friendship at all, but support for the concept “Keep your enemies close to you”

3. You don't feel trustworthy.

Trust is a key concept in both relationships and friendships. This is the very trait that brings together completely different and strangers in this world since ancient times.

To betray trust means to betray friendship or to betray love. Trust is very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to regain, so friendship with wounded trust is often doomed.

4. You have more drama than friendship.

Conflicts are also possible in friendship, because all people have their own interests and do not want to sacrifice them. But remember that healthy conflict comes down to compromise, not endless drama.

Watch how you conflict with your friend, if it’s just shouting and emotions, without a share of common sense, then one day it may all end there.

5. Your friend is jealous of your other friends.

Friendship does not oblige you to be friends and communicate with only one person; it can hardly even be called friendship. There are people who capture your attention so much that they don’t want to share you with anyone else.

Sometimes it’s nice or flattering, but later you realize that this is a gross violation of your personal space and freedom of action. Don't allow this to happen.

6. They bring out the worst in you.

“A bad example is contagious” - everything is exactly like that, because the society in which we find ourselves, one way or another, shapes our picture of the perception of the world, basic values ​​and general morality.

Communication with a person who initiates you into lying, stealing, aggression towards others will never make you the best person. Such friendship will only bring you grief and disappointment.

Know how to choose friends and social circle; it is also important to develop the ability to remove people from your life who make it worse.

7. Your friend betrayed you

Betrayal by a friend can mean two things: something is wrong with your friendship or something is wrong with your friend. If it's about friendship and it's important to you, talk to your friend and find out what's going on.

If it’s about a friend and his character, worldview, then think again about whether you really need to have a traitorous friend.

8. Friendship is maintained by nothing but time.

Quite a lot of people are faced with the fact that they have been friends since childhood, but after a few years they become absolutely different people and friendship becomes more of a burden.

Yes, it is difficult to break off a friendship that is 5, 7, 10 years old, because this is a considerable period of your life, and you spent it with this person.

Remember that people change and that's normal, you don't have to be the same person as your childhood or youth friend. That is why you have the absolute right to choose who to be friends with and who not to be friends with.

From time to time, without even knowing it, we become close to best friend, before we realize that we have crossed the line of friendship. It turns out that everything turned into love. So are you more than friends or just good comrades? Find out before it's too late.

Do you both feel that there is some kind of chemistry between you, and this is clearly something more than friendship? Or do the people you both hang out with always tell you that this already feels like the beginning of a relationship?

Sometimes two good friends can have so many common interests and happy moments that a simple friendship can turn into something more complex over time.

A great friend is a great companion, but a good lover is an even better companion. And who can argue with this logic? After all, this is the law of love.

So how do you understand who you really are to each other - friends or not? Use these ten tips to understand your relationship status.

You both call each other every day

This may start with occasional calls to keep in touch or exchange gossip. But over time, the calls become more frequent and longer, and conversations usually last until late at night. Soon, both of you can't sleep without talking at night, and it all ends in sweet dreams and daydreams. Have you ever been in such a situation? For most good friends who like each other, this is exactly what happens.

Sharing secrets and opinions

Lovers finish each other's sentences. Friends who turn into lovers share secrets and opinions. It's fun to talk about secrets and dirty details that no one else knows about. Does your friend know that you sleep naked? Or you found out that your friend was wearing black lingerie during a long telephone conversation last night? Friends who are attracted to each other can't help but flirt. And they really like to share intimate secrets.

You're both overprotective of each other.

Friends who are on the edge of friendship and love always protect each other. Do you ask your friend to call you and let you know as soon as he gets home? Or do either of you always try to help another person in a difficult situation?

Good friends help each other from time to time, even when they are not asked to do so. But friends who are ready for the next stage of the relationship are always trying to be close, regardless of whether she is buying new clothes, working on a project, or going on another date.

New dates and jealousy

Is your friend very attractive? Most likely, this is true. He probably has a lot of fans. And from time to time, your friend will be very happy to go on a date with someone who really likes him.

Do you get annoyed when your friend goes on a date with someone he likes, or even when he talks excitedly about his upcoming rendezvous? If you find yourself blowing up when he's having a good time with someone other than you, there's a good chance you're more than friends or maybe you're just an overly jealous friend.

Spend all your weekends and holidays together

Groups of friends meet in the evenings or on weekends. When you meet your friend, you spend time alone or in big company? Weekends and holidays- this is a time of leisure and happy moments. If you're both dating and spending a lot of time with each other, it's obvious that this is the type of company you enjoy.

You go on dates with each other

You certainly don't call these get-togethers dates if you're just friends. But you know what we mean by that, don't you? If a new restaurant opens in town or a new movie is released, the first thought that comes to your mind is: “Should I go to the movies with my friend?” This doesn't mean that you no longer have anyone to go to the cinema or restaurant with. You invite a friend precisely because you like to share your new experiences with him. Well what can I say... This is definitely more than friendship.

Call each other affectionate words and animal names

Do you and your friend have exclusive animal names for each other? People subconsciously come up with them only when they feel warm feelings for each other. Pet names are quite personal and very affectionate. The most ordinary, real friends do not do this. Only people who love each other do this.

You are extremely loyal to each other

Do you stand by your friend no matter what? Or can you both count on each other for help or advice even in the middle of the night? Of course, trust is present in companionship, but in this case there is a hint of uncertainty of status.

On the other hand, when you are in love, you expect your partner to be completely loyal to you and always be there for you, no matter what. When you're in love, you both try your best to be faithful and considerate.

So you're both very loyal to each other? There is a good chance that this is no longer just friendship, but the beginning of something serious.

Lots of affection and hugs

This is one of the most sure signs that you are more than friends. Do you spend most of your time holding hands or resting your head on a friend's shoulder? Tight, long hugs and occasional kisses on the lips are not entirely acceptable for friendships.

And seriously, why do you immediately start hugging your “friend” when you meet? Do all comrades really do this, or maybe those who are more than friends do this?

Do you want to kiss your friend

It may be a fleeting thought, but if it crosses your mind every time your friend cuddles with you, you're probably more than just friends anymore. After all, they don't think about kissing each other or dating each other. They also don't make stupid pacts like "let's get married if we don't find someone else when we turn thirty."

The fact that you are considering your friend as a potential dating partner shows that there is something more between you. And if you observe the signs described above, then you can most likely be congratulated.

Let's say you come to the point that you are no longer just friends, what now?

This is quite a difficult part of relationships. Just because you both are more than friends doesn't actually mean that this is the person you've been waiting for and you'll get married soon. It could all just be a passing fancy or even lust.

In some cases, you may not like your friend very much, but you may be interested in what could happen to you next if you became close. If these signs seem to be mutual, then you are on the happy path of a relationship in the “more than friends” stage. Ask yourself, do you really want to become someone very close to each other, and not just a friend, or would it be much more convenient and comfortable for you to remain just friends without any obligations?

If you want your friendship to develop into something more, say something to your friend like, “I wonder why we haven’t been dating yet?” And he will understand exactly what you mean.

Use these ten tips to find out if you really have chemistry. And if you find out that there is something more than friendship between you, start taking some action! If it's mutual, then why not try? What if this is the happiness of your whole life? Until you try, you won't know.

Many of us judge the quality of a friendship by the number of years it has lasted. But this is not always correct. When admiring a friendship that has lasted 20 years, the most important question to ask is what did you put into it and what did the relationship give you?

If a friendship breaks up, it doesn't mean that you or your friend behaved badly in some situations. It just means that you are already at different points in life than before.

Below are a number of signs that may indicate that your friendship is coming to an end.

You have developed a certain physical reaction

When the phone rings and your friend's number flashes on the screen, your head starts to hurt, or your throat gets dry, or you get an unpleasant feeling in your stomach. This is your body's way of telling you that you need to analyze why you are still on friendly terms with this person.

You make promises and then break them

In a conversation with a friend, you promise to do something, but then after some time you realize that you cannot keep your word, you end up refusing and feel guilty afterwards. Someone makes promises simply because they are used to doing so, but if this is repeated time after time only in communication with one person, you need to think about why.

You're looking for excuses

If you are lying to your friend, this is one indicator that your relationship needs to be re-evaluated. Of course, we all tell lies from time to time, but if it happens all the time, analyze why you do it.

You often lose your temper

If you are asked about your relationship with a friend and you quickly lose your temper, it is worth considering whether it is the person's fault or whether you are simply not respecting yourself by maintaining such a friendship.

Do you feel like you are constantly being criticized?

When you feel angry or constantly guilty when interacting with a certain friend, it's a bad sign. In true friendships, people feel free and secure to be themselves without worrying about being criticized for it.

Feelings of guilt become the motivation for communication

If one of the reasons you see this friend and do things for him is because you feel guilty, it's worth considering. None of the situations that were motivated by guilt led to positive consequences.

If you can attribute any of the listed things to your relationship, then it’s time to change something. You should not accumulate negative emotions, otherwise this will lead to more serious conflicts. It's better to ask yourself if you can break up with your friend gradually without creating drama.

It's better to talk to him, tell him that you need to spend some time away from each other. You can reassure him that nothing lasts forever and that such an act is necessary for both of you. It may not be easy, but being honest with yourself and others is the best way to go.